alone

Being hoovered, need advice — EDIT: Read some books and now understand that total silence, zero responses are the only way out of this. Thanks for the supportive comments :) I (38M) finally broke it off and I felt so free. But I …

Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …

To the former LOAPorn folks here — Hi everyone! It's been about 3 months since me and my SP have been NC. It's quite a long story to retell it there, but we two got really close, and we were very happy with each other. However, due to…

Has anyone else gone from being dismissive avoidant to anxious preoccupied towards their therapist? — As I'm sitting here on a Friday night, missing my therapist despite literally meeting with her today, I'm reflecting on how 5 years ago, and really for the first 2/3 years of therapy I was a closed bo…

Do pages created from external RSS feeds (just headers, not full posts) hurt SEO? — A follow-up question on my SEO issue post from a couple of days ago. First of all, thanks everyone who replied -- this has been very helpful. Without going into all details again, the question was abo…

E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…

This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…

Hardstuck in Pre-Seed. i will not promote — Hey fellow startupers, I actually wanna hear some advice from you guys. Currently we're in pre-seed, and tbh, last year when we were having money problems I thought once we overcome them, we'd kinda s…

MySQL Database Quota Reached - Clean database — Hey everyone, I’m currently hosting several websites on SiteGround’s GoGeek plan which comes with 40 GB of web space. Most of my websites use between 1–3 GB, with one around 5.3 GB. However, one of m…

Anyone here navigating entrepreneurship with ADHD? How do you manage focus, procrastination, and distractions? — Hey everyone, I wanted to reach out to the community to see how many of you might relate. I've been wondering lately if I might have ADHD — I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but I know a lot of pe…

Need feedback for my new one. — Hey y'all, so I am trying to build a Micro SaaS for generating high-converting ad creatives/posts for platforms such as FB, Instagram, etc. The app uses OpenAI's latest image generation model and n8n …

Feedback on Branching Strategy for IAC Repository — Hello, One of the challenges I’ve faced when researching branching strategies is that most resources are focused on software deployment workflows, often emphasizing versioning and tagging. These stra…

I am solofounder and I love it — Sure, it can get a bit lonely sometimes. But there are a lot of upsides! * Fast execution * Total decision power * Absolute creative freedom * No back and forths on colors or small things * You can s…

Need help with some direction — So to keep it short, I need some extra income. I work full time as a software developer, but I now own a house and my bills keep going up, and my salary isn’t. I’ve always had the idea of freelancing…

Fellow DAs, do you sometimes experience people taking it personally when you need space to be by yourself? — I'm a DA as stated in the title. By "needing space" I'm not necessarily talking about romantic relationships only. I've had situations where I've been on holiday with people and when I wanted to just …

Does anyone else go through phrases where they feel cynical about people easily? — I kinda feel like I’m in one of those now. I'm a DA. It usually happens if I feel like I’m trying to make plans with people, but they’re not responding or declining. Usually I’m okay with it, but when…

A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

Anxious attachment spiraling? — Hi everyone :) (26F and 25M) I’m in a healthy relationship, we have our disagreements but overall we work things out. We’ve been together for about a year and 3 months. Lately, I’m feeling overwhel…

Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…

I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …

Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …

I think I'm in the process of healing, but it hurts so much. Feeling very forgotten and abandoned tonight — I truly recognize and see how much I've grown and how far I've come. I have so much self awareness, gotten good at soothing myself, talking to myself, even managing anxiety attacks. It's not always pe…

I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …

Any support groups out there for preoccupation with dating? — I think the obsessive thoughts and rumination around dating (status, ongoing situations) is a common thing in anxious attachment so seeking support here. Has anyone found any support groups or what l…

Life is too short to live in fear — Life is too short to live in fear. The fear of saying the wrong things and earning their scorn. The fear of ~~asking for~~ loving too much and being branded 'suffocating' again. The fear of a co…

Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

Being DA but really wanting kids — Ever since I was 5, I’ve known I’ve wanted kids. I spent my teen years fantasising about having them, and felt like having kids was the best thing ever. I love the idea of caring for kids and helping …

RSD potential cause of AA? — Hey fellow AA folks, Since discovering attachment theory 2+ years ago, life has improved quite a lot. However, for the sake of anyone else who might be fresh to attachment theory, I want to spare yo…

How do anxious attachers know when they are truly ready to date again, rather than just trying to soothe anxiety or loneliness? — I was talking with a friend recently and we were comparing how hard it is to get an honest gauge on your own readiness to date again when you have anxious attachment tendencies. Everyone tells you to…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

What to do when i am triggered around my partner? — When i get triggered i usually have a routine of pausing, taking deep breaths, positive affirmations, then switching my attention to something else. However when i am around my partner and i become …

How to deal with being alone — So I struggle pretty heavily with stress when me and my bf are apart. That distance is scary and fires up my fear of being replaced. This fear really affects my ability to do daily tasks away from …

FA breakup & prolonged limbo - does avoidance calcify over time or can it still reverse? — I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar, FAs, or anyone who has opinions on this. I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I later realized is fearful avoidant (I didn…

What do secure bids for connection and co-regulation look like? — I am a dismissive avoidant trying to get better about reaching out to others for connection, co-regulation, emotional support, etc. I am really struggling to figure out what's normal/healthy/reasonabl…

Anxious Attachment Help — I'm a 44 M and feel like an emotionally secure relationship is impossible. What's helped you heal? I feel like everything in my life has been taken from me and have a difficult time finding motivation…

What qualities to look for in a therapist — Previously, I had been working with a somatic therapist for 6 years (on trauma healing, not specifically attachment related) and a few months ago they closed their practice for personal reasons on *ve…

Attachment in someone with no relationships? — Wondered this for a long time so it's oversharing hours tonight. I basically don't have relationships. I've overly attached with my mom, possibly even enmeshed, but that's it, and there's a lot of du…

how to apply skills from therapy and date like a sane person? — tl;dr how to keep a connection going with a secure potential love interest who likes to be alone when you’re anxious-preoccupied af 😭 i’m a lifelong anxious-preoccupied and through years of Doing Th…

What is my core wound when I don't worry what others think about me, I'm not afraid of being alone, but still no boundaries with closest people — I want to heal my wounds and spot and correct the false truths that I have about myself and others, but I'm finding it quite difficult. It is because it seems to me that I lack some essential traits o…

aromantic, avoidant, or both? — recently i discovered i'm definitely on the asexual spectrum and this lead me to also wonder about whether i was aromantic or not. looking into my romantic feelings (or lack thereof), i found out abo…

Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …

Please help my friend and I decide if we're unreasonable. How much time do you spend with your partner or spouse and if you live separately or together. — My best friend and I are pretty similar. I'm single, she's married. I was dating a guy similar to her husband off and on for fourteen years but everything came to a head at the end of 2024 and we went…

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

Decided it’s time to call out blatant misrepresentation regarding our sub — Slide 2 is a post made elsewhere that exaggerates and distorts what was actually said. Slide 3 is the actual conversation in the comments including their “reaction” at the bottom. PLEASE DO NOT go …

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

There aren't many but as far as I can tell there are a couple which could qualify. 1. Escapism. Just like anything fun, let alone of the "reality substitute" type, there is the potential to use it e…

>Correction: Neville taught to “feel as if”. There were many New Thought authors that taught their students to “act as if”, but Neville primarily taught how to impress your subconscious mind using sle…

>About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought I’d always be broke. I even had to take a screenshot of my bank balance to remind myself of that amaz…

Thank you so much for this, it’s cathartic to see the traits childhood emotional neglect can cause. I always just thought well this is how I am like I was just made this way, and seeing them as result…

Check out [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AstralProjection/comments/msprrk/this_multidimensional_model_by_jurgen_ziewe_shows/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb), [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AstralP…

I am new to this. I often can control my dreams. It’s so strange- I dream within a dream or two and within that dream I have to check myself that I am not in reality by floating. I am well educated, m…

Also, I often can slip back into the dream if I wake up and continue on with it. It is so hard to explain. I am hoping that I am not alone /crazy lol. Just wondering if other people experience this. T…

I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…

I want to Ap but as a kid I watched a lot of sci fi demonic movies and my mom would study Wiccan culture so I’m like ehhhhh what’s going to happen to me will I get stuck there will something else tak…

I'm going to assume this is the way, based on the comments alone. Can't deny that.

Another ex messaged me today. The thing was I'm better off alone. I'm contemplating whether to reply or not. I've been left with no contact for months. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s difficult when there is something you share with the person though, like children. You’re involved to some capacity and you can see how they are doing in all aspects of life - relationships, fina…

It hurts, but is pretty common. Exes often have backup or have set up their next relationship quick. They don't want to be alone either!

It is so sad when it feels wrong that it ended. But if they don't want you, all you can do is value yourself and move on. You are going to find someone who will treat you right and wants to fight for …

Respectfully, this is what happens when you only focus on material aspects and totally disregard the "spiritual woo woo." I'm not saying everyone ever needs to be enlightened, but there's a reason why…

Hi I started with JM and I was convinced to switch to NG Then I was guided back to POSM I can say that some techniques of NG helped But most of all, POSM seems clearer than ever after my detour in…

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

Your original post and all the replies and updates really do help me feel less alone, so thanks! I'm 2.5 months since she moved out, and I'm basically at where you were in your previous post. Which st…

Getting your medicine right will make a big change. It didn’t cure my sadness and grief and fear and all the things that came with my new circumstances but when I finally got on the right dose of the …

Have you found things that work for dealing with life alone? How old are you now? I’m 44 and back in school (online) for a career change but I find it so hard to motivate to do school work or to figur…

I am 52. Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. I remind myself that it has only been 4 months since everything exploded for me. I moved back to my hometown. I am looking for teaching work and such. As f…

Reading this now and all I can say is same, and you’re not alone. All I’ve ever wanted is for my parents to show some level of engagement and curiosity in my life. How am I doing? What interests me ri…

What if you’re the one that messed up? Bad… we have a son together… its been a year and the guilt is eating me alive. I still live her too… i really want to talk to her and apologize. I understand tha…

Try to find therapy for yourself and also if you can for your child, try to reach out for support yourself with all this, you don't have to go it alone. 

"Most of the time I feel like I'm going to die alone, like I'm not enough and oher bullshit." I suggest you take conventional action and see a therapist to sort out your self-esteem issues in the fi…

I had a quick glance at this on my break and will chip in more later, just by point 1 alone I see you haven’t grasped it, feeling is the secret indeed. But the feeling isn’t emotions. 2 That knowing…

I agree with most here, daydreaming (wishful thinking) gives you nice emotions but emotions alone gives you most often nothing in reality. But it's not necessary to have a first person view in your sc…

>“I read a comment here that comes to mind, but unfortunately, I don’t remember who wrote it: Those who do not believe in the law are the living proof that it works—exactly according to their own assu…

>Maybe. In my understanding reprogramming the SM is changing oneself, as you reprogram you internally do change. In my experience many things changed when I did change my state that came from my SM re…

I'm FA and I identify with this. I value my alone time, and generally speaking, consider myself an introvert. A recharge period is definitely necessary, not just after a social interaction but at the …

I am securely attached, and I usually don't communicate a lot after i have met up with someone. This "withdrawal" has nothing to do with my dating partner. I myself enjoy a lot of alone time, so usual…

Yes that's typical avoidant behaviour, it may also be linked to introversion. My ex FA girlfriend would retreat systematically after we had a great time. They get a bit overwhelmed and scared when th…

I'm not sure but I have some FA tendencies in dating and have needed "cool down" periods in past dating situations, as sometimes they really ramped up my anxiety and I needed space to regulate again. …

If you want to talk, I invite DMs but I'm only here sporadically. I'm a healed avoidant. I say that, but it's not black and white. I measure now for mostly secure. I still experience the initial resp…

Please look into the health issues that come along with being dismissive or fearful avoidant. You can't just shut off your emotions and experience no repercussions. That's not how our biology works, …

I respect how politely you've addressed this. But please see the other perspective too: 1. Most people are told by their avoidantly attached partner that they're clingy when they're just trying to n…

I tried to add more but reddit won't let me edit. I will say there are secure, independent people who want their alone time too. I am just not sure it would be on the lower end for relationship parti…

I am in the same boat. Had my FA (maybe DA? I never knew about attachment theory until her. She was extremely committed and IN. LOVE. for 2 years and was much more anxious and attached. Then she was j…

That’s an interesting point, the possibility of dissociation. I have actually been quite conscious about remaining present through the pain. And there has been quite a lot of pain. So many emotions su…

It’s unhealthy to project or “mind read”. I think there’s a bit of this going on in your post. It may feel (to you) they hate you, because rejection feels bad. It’s not a good feeling to an ego or o…

No problem, being vulnerable on here makes me feel uncomfortable, but I'm trying to expose myself to these feelings, so I can get over the unease. Just know you’re not in the struggle alone.

To answer: They will escalate negative behavior towards you if you’re not respecting their distance or wishes for disengagement. I once told an ex, “If you keep staying with me I will treat you worse …

The problem is FA flips from hot to cold. When I was finally at peace with things and about to leave her alone. She came up to me at a party and danced with me and said she appropriated me. I asked …

As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise.  I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…

My lil cousin(20F) was having relationship issues- she is an avoidant and he is an anxious. I pointed this pattern out and she said, "My therapist said the same, does having this attachment mean I'll …

They still feel the pain. Just alone, they cant name it or place it. And i imagine they experience it quietly for a long time as opposed to all at once and getting over it.

DAs are already very self-critical. Most criticism we receive from others, we’re already aware of and have gone to great lengths to conceal and/or correct said issue. Even if said criticism is somethi…

Thank you for your sympathy! 💕 I reported them on the app, but didn't feel comfortable going to the police since similar behavior hasn't been consistently regarded as assault in other cases. My expe…

I had a stalker too like while i was on holiday, i was too spooked to go to police and just ran away. Yeah it is so hard being a woman alone. Yeah I hope you get more therapy if you need because th…

Increase your php-fpm worker pool. There's a dark art to finding just the right number, since fpm shares memory a lot. Look online to find out how to set that number. Then monitor performance and if y…