tolerance

Me (32f) Feeling abandoned and trapped after husband (32m) attempted suicide and friends said they didn't want to be involved. How to I deal with all this with no support system? — Context section: Me (32F) and Husband (33M). We have been married 7 years, together 10, been friends since we were 19 and 20. We have 2 babies, 3 and 1 years old. I am the breadwinner for our family, …

I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …

What did you notice changed when you began leaning secure? — I'm pretty happy with my progress. I notice I have a much lower tolerance for unaware dysregulation (no matter what kind it is whether it's someone push-pulling or an anxious type dumping on me). I d…

RULES: PLEASE READ — *POST REMOVAL: Understand that all posts are instantly removed into a queue to await mod approval. Please allow 24 hours, though usually it is much less. Your post will either be approved, or you will…

The way trauma shapes your attachment system... — I'm FA and I was reminiscing on what my love life was like as a teenager and young adult. I remember the feeling I had when someone showed interest in me, it was very much of disgust and suspicion. …

Leo with both Moon and Ascendant in Cancer with a Taurus signature - why do i feel weird, stubborn and kinda emo? — A Leo but with mostly Earth/Water fixed influences ( Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer). Barely any Air elements and maybe thats why I suck at communicating and I feel kinda slow. Not much Fire either. Peopl…

I just need to rant, Y'all. I'm so angry!!!! — My 83YO Ndad is selling the farm/family business Emom left my brother (48) and me (52) in an irrevocable trust. Dad is tickled pink with himself for installing legal loopholes to fuck us over. His IQ …

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

Something mentioned but not talked about, Serotonin. — What do we know about Serotonin? \-Its produced in the gut, \-Low levels often correlated to anxiety and depression \-Happy hormone, not to be mistaken with dopamine , the pleasure hormone where …

Calling AM on her bluff, even if it means she becomes homeless — \*\*\*\*Warning this contains Abuse, this is not for everyone if you’re under 18 please do not continue reading this. I’ll try to make it brief. My AM was a single parent of 5 kids. That’s where he…

The western treatment of Korea's feminism in hindsight. — A Korean feminist's post that I encountered on twitter made a good analogy. If a group labels itself a disability rights or working class organization, it doesn't tell you about their full political l…

What do you do when you feel annoyed and angry with someone for no reason — This is a vulnerable post, so please no judging...it's an honest question for inner exploration to find the love and compassion for others. There are some people who seem to instantly irk me. It's o…

Sharp pain around heart during metta meditation, not sure how best to approach it — Hey! I've been practicing around ten years intermittently but in the last 300 days, for the first time, I've managed to consistently practice every day. Averaging like 45 minutes a day following TMI …

Was I tripping? — A couple of days ago, I took a low dose of magic truffles in Amsterdam (10gr) but didnt feel much, aside from a little nausea in the first hour. Bummed, I decide to fast and increase the dose the nex…

Lying to My Asian parents about partying in college — Hi, I (19f) am a sophomore in college. My mom allows me to try alcohol and build tolerance to it but this weekend I went to a coworker party and I lied to her that I was going to dance practice, which…

I went to a Physical Therapy intake appointment today, and part of the protocol was asking "Do you Feel Safe at Home?"...........and apparently I said "no', but had no Conscious memory of saying that. OMFG. — I f'ing hate trauma bullshit CPTSD so f'ing much. I thought I was doing fine, wore my best workout outfit to my First PT apointment, so I didnt look like the hot mess that I feel like inside. I…

Being an adrenaline junkie in my DR — ​ I’ll be completely honest with you guys: I originally only got into shifting because I wanted to get boned. I have a terrible time connecting with people in this CR, so that was my main moti…

Do you end or cancel dates early? — 42F here. I was married at 20, divorced at 37, so I never did the dating scene when I was younger, much less OLD. I started OLD after the divorce, had a couple bf's, taken breaks, re-learning what I w…

Clicking out with flac files — So here’s a weird one for y’all. I’ve been using the gateway tapes on and off for about a year now. When I first started I was using a super low quality recording. I don’t even remember where I got …

Should I apologize to my ex? and if so, is this a good way to do it? — About two weeks ago, my (18f) ex bf (18m) (we dated for a year) broke up with me for a variety of reasons, most of them being because he didn't have time anymore/was too busy/didn't have the emotional…

Loss of "visuals" — The long version is this, semi regular usage of LSD some years back, pretty regular mushroom use (twice a week or more) for around a year or two, within the last 3 years, and eventually graduating on …

After struggling with soda intake for years it’s finally become a treat not an obligation. — Hello all, first time I’m posting here but I decided this was good enough to share. I’m 22 yrs old and within the last 3 months I have finally been able to make a good change in my diet. For reference…

Outrageous things you script? — Is there anything in particular you script? Like something extra? Not just ‘High pain tolerance’, ‘I can’t gain weight’ or ‘I am confident’. I want fun or outrageous things or like a conspiracy theory…

Cannabis during meditation? — Does anyone occasionally use cannabis for deeper meditations? I don’t mean frequent users. I mean low tolerance people occasionally using it to go deeper? I used to smoke daily for years but I’ve stop…

I wish men wouldn’t talk about my curves after 3 chats — I decided to try hinge because it seemed more serious. I try to post pictures where I hide my body. I like men’s profiles that seem to be more serious. I don’t insinuate I’m looking for casual. Bu…

Finally "snapped" into go NC, after considering LC. I feel awful/sad after "emergency NC" — I finally "snapped" today, in that I made a snap decision, and blocked my (what I suspect to be) narcissist mom. And I am looking for advice, going forward, on how to handle any backlash, or anything …

Identity unlocked : How to recover your energy after being ghosted — Recovering your energy after being ghosted is real work — because ghosting leaves open psychological loops. Your mind keeps searching for an explanation that never came. That’s where the “energy drain…

Any advice on how to quit — I’ve been smoking pretty much daily for about 4-5 years now (apart from the occasional trip away every so often). I am 21M now, I started when I was about 16 and I’m aware this has had an impact on my…

Manifesting healed allergies — Lately I’ve been meeting older religious women who have been telling me to pray for my lactose intolerance to go away. I’m a firm believer in the universe, energy exchange and creating your own realit…

Has the desire to be in a relationship disappeared? — Hello everyone, It’s now been over 6 years since I’ve been single, and at my age, it feels like time to make big life decisions. The genuine desire to be in a relationship is unfortunately no longer …

I’m (37f) 25w pregnant with our second kid but can’t shake the feeling that my partner (39m) of 7 years is not what I need — TL;DR: I (37f) am 27w pregnant with my partner’s (39m) second child. Wondering if the relationship is right after feeling strong feelings that I need a more “masculine” and sexually driven partner, or…

Hi! (29f) here my boyfriend (33m) pushed me to the point where I had to end things. I am really, really sad. Showed up to the AA meeting I’ve been going to. — I’m feeling so sad even though I know this relationship is destroying me. I am the type of person who will never quit on someone (just see my other posts about my relationship over the years) but I ca…

The best summary of cptsd ive come across — someone commented this and I think its really helpful overview of cptsd for us What CPTSD Actually Is CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) comes from prolonged, repeated trauma, especially…

I was way too nice. I feel bad for being the way I was before. Why was I like that, when I was suffering inside? — Hey, I was too sweet and nice but I was hurting inside, I had semi functional CPTSD (only realised this now), low mood and was dysregulated. In 2023 I got CPTSD and life changed, I changed. Everythin…

how do I get closure from being essentially ghosted?should I reach out myself? — hi, I've posted here before about this situation and I'm back because I genuinely need some outside perspective. I'll try to give enough context for this to make sense. I'm 20F, this was my first ev…

Experienced dumpee here… — I have gotten dumped in 100% of all my relationships that were longer than 6 months. Why am I always the dumpee? Because I’m actually a pretty chill guy. It takes a lot to get me upset enough to dump.…

I recently started going nonverbal at 22 years old — My brain has no more energy to play mind games. Nowadays it feels like you have to walk on eggshells around everyone. Nobody can go a day without creating problems for themselves leading to those prob…

Shroom-weed(-alcohol) induced psychosis? — Hello, First off, I'm sorry about my english, its not my first language but I hope you'll be able to understand what you're reading. context: I started smoking weed regularly when I was around 18 (…

Has anyone found a way to overcome tolerance?🍄⏳ — I was thinking of working with rue and that if I consumed rue before each mushroom trip i will not build a tolerance. But I haven't tested it. I appreciate your insights and addressing the question…

A love letter to Dextromethorphan — I am a very avid psychonaut(stay sober now though), I have experience with upwards of 70 psychoactive drugs and a countless number of combos. Dextromethorphan is my second favorite drug(first is meth…

Need help understanding what I’m going through open to any opinion will not be offended — I’m gonna try to keep this short, however I have lots of detail. I believe some of this stems from childhood now I am 27 years old. My mental health has always been an issue however it has been declin…

Raspberry mushroom tea with ~30g fresh mushrooms. What did I do wrong? — I need a little help to understand what did I do wrong. I have been tripping almost every week on Saturdays for the past 2 months. I started slow as I heard it helped with depression and CPTSD with 5g…

Quitting weed and unbearable anxiety — I (24 F) quit weed 5 days ago today and the anxiety has been inexplainable. Which is saying a lot because I have treatment resistant anxiety and live with pretty high anxiety levels all the time. I ha…

paralyzed for hours — my nervous system is overwhelmed . i feel safe in my car, it feels maternal toward me. Like my mom. I go to the gym to escape. I also abuse my phone use weed for regulation, but my tolerance so high …

what to do if my parents depend on me (21F) too much for my sibling (4F) — TL;DR this might just sound like a rant, and i know there is the easiest option to move out but i would also like some mental advice that could help me. ever since my little sister was born, i had to…

Do you think I am asking for too much? 50/F and 58/M — I do not and have not felt safe (emotionally) in my relationship (together since September 2024) we have known each other since 2007 (dated 2 years then) and I am so over it. I am always making the wr…

You just might love 'em. — It's the hip thing on social media with memes and jokes to "hate people." People will joke "it's too peopley out there today," and worse things, while writing it off as a joke. Nobody can stand their …

People who expose us discussion — just a bit annoyed lately as a psychic and its 2026 I’m aware of the awful ppl in this reality. I am not comfortable with our community being exposed to general public forums. I did see a latest resea…

Can lactose intolerance be linked to trauma? — Hi I’m 25F and have had an extensive history of emotional, verbal, sexual trauma. In 2019 I was in a relationship with a man who was a terrible person. The relationship lasted 2 years and I sustained …

I definitely have much less and less tolerance for dismissive avoidant individuals once I identified those traits in my mother, realized they’re a root of pretty much all my lifelong trauma, and start…

>Note: It's at that point when most secure people will leave a relationship with an insecure attacher, when their reasonable requests start getting shot down. That's what I was going to say too. If y…

Yes, 4tb of metrics Prometheus can eat like peanuts, if you need fault tolerance,better look into Thanos or Mimir, vanilla Prometheus can handle it too, but it will be more manual work. Dashboards can…

Bare metal refers to the layer below a hypervisor. Eg directly on a physical server. Useful for situations where you want to dedicate a piece of hardware to a task (usually super high performance data…

I agree with this, but also want to point out some DAs don’t actually communicate a boundary. I had two ex’s who were DA and I can lean anxious. Both were very inconsistent in communicating “I need sp…

absolutely! but if this person wants her in his life he’ll rise to the challenge, and if he doesn’t at least she tried… but everyone’s boundaries and tolerance for these kinds of things are different!

Therapist here, look for a therapist that use a person-centered approach and is trauma informed. It’s not our job to push meds on you, it’s our job to reflect your experiences back to you so you gain …

You both have to develop more metacognition. That’s the first step. Then, you need boundaries — DBT will help you do the opposite. Then do the body work with the nervous system while cognitively restr…

Its a myth that you have to be alone to get better. You get better by being uncomfortable. That's why I keep posting here talking with you all makes me very uncomfortable, but it also builds tolerance…

DBT helped me a lot. You can see if your therapist knows about it or check some free resources like https://dbt.tools/ It has practical things you can actually do when you're feeling anxious. I like…

This is a great question. I was in therapy for 10 years and also went to countless coaches and therapists. There are a handful of things that actually helped me significantly: 1. Creating deep, meani…

Yes! I learned from years of research and my time in therapy, tailored to my own tolerance. And it worked so well. If we zoom out enough, every thing we do that is categorized as avoidance is essent…

I'm going through almost the exact same thing currently. Like you, it is only really in this specific friendship i experience this kind of anxiety - probably because of how vulnerable i have been with…

I Use distress tolerance tools I’ve learned from DBT. Box breathing, dunking my face in ice water, look up at the ceiling and track my eyes back and forth twenty times, etc.. there are a lot of them t…

It’s kind of normal to go through this with a lot of mental health treatments. People finally understand themselves and others better, there’s new skills to implement, but the outcomes initially swin…

Anxious-preoccupied attachment patterns are distinct from an anxiety disorder, but there's definitely some overlapping gray areas. Questions to ask yourself: do you have underlying anxiety that af…

I agree! I definitely should take some lessons, but i'm still angry i was even put in this position. I I feel like as soon as she told me, the light left my eyes for her. I asked for space at the tim…

if you have zero tolerance for people having a life before they meet you you are going to find a limited pool of potential partners, most of them dull or inexperienced.

Sounds like you’re confusing fighting with conflict. I will happily engage in conflict and conflict resolution in the form of talking it out. I will not do that when someone is yelling and screaming a…

Wanted to shape some of my thoughts for you and add to ThrowRA_patata3000. 🤞 It could be my two cents: but it might be that deep down, your feeling an intuition that’s trying to pull you out outward…

Essentially the same thing. So my tolerance for it sounds a bit higher. I can spend full days together, I just ignore my needs but it absolutely catches up with me. Yesterday she was talking to me and…

Wow, this really resonated! Especially the parts about your tolerance for complaining going away! I never connected this

It's easier to notice when I'm spiraling, and I'm a bit more honest with myself when I hit up social media to numb the brain a bit 😆 Plus, I've learned to be much more gentle on myself. (That one vid…

Avoidants typically harshly assert distance when their subconscious feelings are coming the closest to being exposed though. They will also often keep people they have genuine feelings for in their or…

That 'assume it'll end...' line reminds me of my DA mother's favorite phrase, "hope for the best, expect the worst." Sure there's some wisdom in that, but I feel like it's mostly just a way to justif…

My brain always knows its not helpful, but my feelings or nerves need time to catchup. The healing takes time. Its important to feel, not suppress or run away, let it happen. It's like venom coursi…

\- You can absolutely fully break down in front of someone. Yes, people are fully breaking down in front of the people close to them - just not, like, all the time. Most people cry a little bit regula…

You’re attributing avoidant coping under emotional overload to anxious attachment. Anxious attachment is defined by hyperactivation and pursuit of reciprocity, not avoidance of partners’ needs or in…

>Anxious attachment is defined by hyperactivation and pursuit of reciprocity, not avoidance of partners’ needs or intolerance of negative affect. Those patterns are more consistent with fearful-avoida…

Sort of meta, but you quitting therapy is you doing the thing you're talking about. The relationship with a therapist is a vignette of our attachment style and relationship issues (the therapeutic all…

I identified with this but the other way around, like their bullshit didnt accumulate over ocassions and tolerance for bullshit reseted after a bit 

Oh, great question! Yes, I was often able to recognize that I was masking and self sacrificing to meet the expectations of my romantic partners, and that would cause me to start developing resentment…

I think it depends on you and who you’re with. I act totally different with my now husband than I ever have with any other person I’ve dated. I quite literally want to be glued to my husbands side …

This is a doozy - met a very impressive guy, great job, amazing experience, family man, funny, fun to be around -but very low tolerance for ‘female hysterics’ - my words not his - he is pressing me in…

Yes, for 4 months, these improvements sound remarkable. And it looks like this also already has positive effects on your relationship since you said you recently had 3 very good days until it got too …

People can hide important aspects of their personality in conversation that often pop up immediately while playing a game. How do they handle losing? How do they handle winning? What's their t…

Agreed. In the past three months I have developed a no tolerance policy for being corrected on things I know about. It shows me they think they’re superior or at the least do not know how to have a co…

Gotcha. Hey it's all about your tolerance for emotional pain, haha. I just don't think you can or should expect more from her and it sounds annoying having to try and tip toe around respecting her nee…

\+1 on therapy that is geared toward building self-compassion. It's very difficult and feels weird and angering, but works with time. Other practical things: \- Corrective experiences. What helped m…

The goal is not to be able to say no without issue, it's to trust yourself to be able to handle the discomfort of stating your truth and helping your nervous system in gaining tolerance. It takes prac…

I’ve experienced similar, but also the opposite re: LSD & Psilocybin Like on a fresh tolerance reset, 3.5g-5g’s of shrooms makes me an absolute child mentally. Every bit of expression and emotion I h…

Okay an analogy. Let's say I am lactose intolerant but I am unaware of it. Every time I eat a bunch of dairy I get pretty bad symptoms. The symptoms aren't something I'm in control of. I can truly d…

I’m an addiction/alcoholism counselor. I suspect your BF already has severe alcoholism (alcohol use disorder) since he meets six of the criteria for alcoholism (and that puts him in the severe range).…

Yes. My window of tolerance is so small. It takes SO MUCH for me to do things normal people do so easily. I’m tired of being told I just need to develop better coping skills, as if you could deep brea…

Thanks! It's a very valid point. Over time, I flipped on this question several times. Even now, I feel safer not having to talk about myself. On the other hand, the fact that she doesn't ask about me,…

I have Saturn in Libra conjunct Pluto (yeah the 1982 generation), and they are square to my Ascendant in Aquarius. And yet - Uranus is the Hidden Triumph card, placed close to my MC and sextile my A…

Forgive yourself for having the urge to run. It is just one of the four F's/ Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. They are survival mechanisms. Write out on paper: I feel like running Write out: what wi…

I'm guessing here, but I imagine that since your girls were best friend for such a long time, your partner must have known (and been friendly with?) your late husband? Is it possible he's dealing with…

Yeah, I've been "doing it scared" for 30+ years, still scared. Don't have advice but can definitely relate. I found it interesting, having adopted a dog with separation anxiety, when I went to train…

I find that the older I get, my tolerance for complaining is quickly disappearing. Friends, dates, coworkers - I don’t want to hear it. Go be miserable elsewhere.