attractive

I am a genuine disgusting, horrible piece of shit, and I don't know what to do about it. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD (I'm not officially diagnosed) and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years…

Help each other grow - What’s a “must know” thing, that’s going to be vital to know over the next few years — I’ve been in the industry or in education for ~10 years. In that time I’ve seen “it” things come & become a must have mentioned nearly everywhere (yes Kubernetes, I’m looking at you); while others hav…

DAE feel like they want to be in a relationship but don’t really know how to? Intimacy problems? — I mean in terms of intimacy. When I think about being in a relationship, the concept of having someone in my corner that I can cuddle with, do things with, nurture and support and generally love—that …

Feeling bad after dates? — I asked my friends for some advice regarding how to attempt to move my attachment style in a more secure direction, and one of them said that for them, going out on dates really helped them, especiall…

I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …

Is "good on paper" a thing for guys our age? — I can't help but feeling like I'm good on paper and that's why my boyfriend is with me. I'm conventionally attractive, I make really good money, I take care of myself (and him) and my things, I'm kin…

Dressing To Impress For Dates (And Everyday Life) — My post is getting a lot of attention and since the daily discussion thread is going to be locked soon, I want to continue the discussion here. What I originally wrote: >This might sound bad, but is …

Is there a way to manifest myself to STOP being attracted to someone? — I’m curious if anyone here has used manifestation or LOA techniques to intentionally lose attraction or romantic interest in someone. There’s a guy in one of my classes that I find really attractive.…

3 years in. Bro, it gets wild. — Okay, so a large part of this community seems to use SATS as a high-preparation, ritual method and yes it’s very powerful in that way. But you’re literally God. Why keep yourself so limited? Nevill…

Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

You can be pretty and still fucked up. Attractiveness will not save you from this disease. — I am not model-tier attractive, but I have modeled for local brands and have a very unfulfilling "successful" dating life. Everyone in the internet, and in real life claims that attractive people "hav…

Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…

My (26/M) Girlfriend (26/F) Of 6.5 Years Emotionally Cheated and I Don’t Know What To Do — My (26/M) girlfriend (26/F) and I met our first year of college and started dating shortly after. We went through Covid together, graduated together, and started living together about 2 years ago. We…

You've Tried Manifesting Them Back Multiple Times - Here's Why It's Not Working — **"I've manifested my SP back multiple times but it never works. Now it just feels draining."** **You're not failing at manifestation.** **You're failing at creating coherent field states.** And th…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

How to permanently stop feeling romantic love for anyone? — wasn’t sure I needed a TL;DR here, but I’ll put it anyway: how do I turn off my ability to feel love for anyone, ever? hi all, I (M,33) have not had a whole lot of luck with dating. I try to stay s…

Getting married soon help me pls — We met in high school and I have spent my entire adult life loving her. I’ve (30m) moved across the country for her (28f) career 4 times, leaving all my friends and family behind. I’ve worked 60-70 ho…

How many of you had suitors before meeting your NPD partner that were actually really nice, attractive, and ready to go all in with you, but you turned them away? — Asking for a friend 😏 jk…that was me. Those suitors’ love felt strange and off-putting. It felt too easy and therefore not genuine. You mean I don’t have to perform for you, hide my feelings, or s…

When/how to disclose weight loss — After a lifetime of obesity, with the help of a GLP-1, I lost 110 lbs. I'm now also recovered from a lower body lift to remove all the extra skin. I'm a 47F and now a US size 6. All to say, with cloth…

Great guy, but after 4 months, there's just no physical touch — I've been dating a great guy for about the last four months and we're a good fit in several different ways. We're both in our 40s, no kids, no previous marriages and have lived all over the world. We'…

Why am I so insecure now that i'm skinny? — I, 23F, lost over 100 pounds over the last couple of years. When I was 16, I was put on steroids for my eczema and birth control (nexplanon) on the same day. I gained weight rapidly. My boyfriend at t…

Finally admitting I have an attitude of entitlement. — Need to get this off my chest: I’m realizing that at 35, I’ve spent a lot of my life operating with a mix of entitlement and a victim mentality. The short version is that growing up, I had a lot of t…

I realize Im not allowed to be anything less than above average with this condition. — I dont have a family who watches out for me. I don't have financial privileges. I'm by myself in this mess. Im not accepted regardless of how I am. - Other people will have a social life and people t…

My husband [M31] let slip in a compliment that he thinks his ex was prettier than me [F28] and I can't stop thinking about it. How do I let it go? — EDIT: I have made an update to this post for everyone, see here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1rwh3g2/update\_my\_husband\_m31\_let\_slip\_in\_a\_compliment/](https://www.r…

As long as your ex knows you will always take them back, they will never truly want nor respect you — Now how come it is this way? How come you need to walk away, abandon them and put yourself first in order for them realize what they had? And why can’t your ex just put their pride and ego aside, st…

4 women matched with me on Hinge in the last 24 hours... And I'm not the most attractive man. — Just putting this out there for anybody feeling low. I'm not the most conventionally handsome 40 year old. Bald and overweight on top of it (but lost 30 lbs recently and haven't updated my profile). T…

For guys who have no trouble getting dates on OLD, how do you filter for good personality? — I see this question asked of women a lot online, but less so of men, I assume because far fewer men have this problem, so I wanted to get other guys’ take on it. I’m finding that I could get a first …

More magnetic socially when I have a headache — As the title says, I'm more magnetic socially when I have a headache, and this is something I've noticed consistently over the years. Does anyone have an explanation or an opinion on this? All points …

Despite every effort, I'm developing feelings for my boss. Am I cooked? — I know. Yikes. I usually have a protocol for these things - find out they have a partner or find the worst possible photo of them on the internet and change their contact photo to that. Unfortunately …

I Want to Make Something CLEAR. Manifesting is easy. — Manifesting is easy. It really is. The bridge of incidents and how long it lasts is actually UP TO YOU. And how long it takes for you to manifest something is also UP TO YOU. What do I mean? I mean e…

Anyone else unable to find others attractive (in a romantic sense) after a breakup? — Maybe this sounds ridiculous, but it's been almost a year and a half since my last breakup (which has mostly been no contact) and I'm still unable to find other women romantically attractive. Even whe…

Want a bf but scared and I feel unattractive — I want a boyfriend but I believe I’m unattractive because I was bullied a lot in my childhood. I had some horrible interactions with men when I was young. These things are preventing me from going out…

dealing with jealousy/comparison — I have a cousin who is one year older than me and I struggle to have a relationship with her because I am jealous. I’ve always felt like we were being compared growing up especially in looks because s…

Scared of Dating. — Since my LTR of 10 years ended about seven years ago I have only had a string of casual relationships. I’m at the point now I don’t want to try again as I’ve put in effort with the casual one’s thinki…

Geography really matters - my experience in Berlin and Prague — I’m 27M and have been traveling around Berlin and Prague with some friends, and I honestly didn’t expect this but… the girls here are incredibly beautiful. Seriously. Especially in Prague. Even the As…

Spent money on clothes, grooming, and a Miami photoshoot for dating apps. Still getting weak matches. What am I missing? — I’m frustrated because I actually put real effort into this. I didn’t just throw up random selfies and then complain. I bought better clothes, changed my hair, spent money on grooming, flew to Miami,…

Schools Hire Asian Teachers at Half the Rate of Other Groups, Re.search Finds — Asian teaching candidates are more likely to boast an advanced degree, but less likely to get a job offer, according to a s.tudy of hiring data. School hiring processes play a crucial role in determi…

Women who had a glow up — Resources? I'm going to the gym, started coloring my hair and nails...inner work started long before the divorce with all the things: church, community , journaling, therapy. Wondering what are the b…

In love with my (26F) best friend (27M) and it’s killing me — Me and my best friend have only been besties for about 3-4 years, but we grew close extremely quickly. I initially didn’t find him attractive at all, and we were also not single at the time, but aft…

Immense anger after being cheated on.. 8 year relationship. — 8 year relationship down the drain.. I met her when I was 23m.. She BEGGED ME to take her serious. I took road trips frequently for work during that time and she felt like I didn’t spend enough time w…

Single and celibate for 7 years -- how can I show a man I'm into him? — Hi all, I'm 41F and have chosen to stay single now for 7 years. I went through a bad breakup, then the pandemic happened, then I got into 12 Step recovery (not for drugs or alcohol, for family issue s…

Anyone else see what AP looked like and felt shocked at the “downgrade”?? — Did anyone else see their partners AP either in person or on social media and were absolutely shocked that their spouse would cheat with someone who wasn’t even comparable?? (Not only in physical appe…

Watching Life Pass Me By — I know this has probably been written about many times, but I need to get this off my chest. I’m a 34-year-old man, and I’m struggling with depression. I’ve been reading about the law of attraction, …

Sometimes I feel creeped out by the fact that the woman my husband cheated on me knew about me. — She knew he was married. He said they met in person, his coworker told her he was married and then she went and found him anyway. She looked him up on Facebook and got his number through some old sid…

My little sister's best friend confessed to me — e\*\*TL;DR; : My little sister's best friend confessed to me and I don't want to hurt her feelings\*\*. I (21M) was visiting my parents when my sister and her best friend (18F) pulled me aside and po…

New relationship, slipping — I have started a new relationship with a guy and things are going really well. He’s sober and has worked the steps a couple of times which is really attractive to me since I’m also sober and a member …

What does heavy/pulling “black hole” feeling energy mean? It felt neutral not good or bad — What does heavy/pulling “black hole” feeling energy mean? It felt neutral not good or bad and I did not feel compelled to engage with these people, nor did they try to engage with me. They didn’t come…

Insecurity about my legs (genu varum) vs overall appearance - honest opinions? — Hey everyone, I’ve been dealing with some insecurity about my legs, specifically bowing (around \~8° varus). Do slightly bowed legs stand out a lot in real life, or is it mostly in my head? From y…

BF of 3.5 years broke it off. I'm so happy and free. — Sooo these last couple of days were a lot. I (29M) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3.5 years. If you asked me a week ago, I'd say our relationship had its ups and downs, but we were generally ha…

Blue Therapy Mike and Yasmin — Wow. Literally. This man is unbelievable. He’s a lazy, liar. Sitting around all day expecting his partner to not only work her arse off but deal with EVERYTHING alone, kids, home, financially. H…

More pseudoscience from you (the first being that gravity is attractive- gravity is a warp in the space time continuum as it responds to mass, and only appears to be attractive to the uneducated). No…

“If it’s isolating me, that would be my own doing” lol. You are brainwashed and in a cult. You sound exactly like the people in Jonestown did before they drank the kool aid. Cults have nothing to do w…

Well, you’re posting here and clearly don’t like the dynamic or you wouldn’t be asking us if we think it’s normal. I’m just saying that it’s not a dynamic that most people enjoy or find tolerable and …

So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …

I say stop having crushes. I can't think of anything more unattractive in a partner than someone who isn't excited about me.

I had to go through that phase to find them unattractive

Here's what I found helpful to figure out my own feelings. I look at three angles: 1. If they suddenly told you they were done and didn't tell you why, would it hurt you? If it wouldn't hurt at all, …

Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…

i met my now husband on a dating app. “the wild” is a really hard place to meet people these days. most people who are looking for love are on dating apps, including people you meet in “the wild” that…

>am I dealing with a DA/FA or this man is just making a fool out me? Por qué no los dos? He is textbook FA and he is absolutely bsing you. You are well off not participating in those hot and cold ga…

You can engage a sales rep who specializes in this retailer if you're not comfortable dealing with the buyers yourself. The customer will provide onboarding documents, including the Vendor Buying Agre…

I'm so happy to hear you've grown as much as you have. Putting the work in is hard work, and you are doing that. Thank you for sharing your journey. My ex is 45 now, we met when he was 38 (I was 35)…

Yeah, the one thing I like about them is they know who they are. They are self-assured that's very attractive to me

You say you want an anxious one until they’re crashing out on you all the time for minor stuff.  Honestly a lot of avoidant aren’t bad people. I too can be both so I know how both sides act and react…

Getting to know each other before brining up more serious matters isn't playing cool. So what if she wants kids too if she won't like for example how you dress or your lack of tact. There's time and p…

OP, some helpful advice for once: start focusing on enjoying your life and loving yourself first and foremost. It's a sad reality but a reality nonetheless that most people in life -- in fact probably…

The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …

She's not avoidant, she has low romantic interest. People on this sub mistaken low romantic interest with avoidant attachment. Can't blame anyone because I didn't know better years ago. You probably d…

\> feeling arrogant & overly prideful of my own emotional openness I’ve never seen this admitted to and yet I believe it’s the most prevalent (and unattractive!!!!) trait amongst APs.

Fair enough. It is in some ways a difficult thing to admit to. Can I ask why it is so unattractive from your perspective? : )

Arrogance usually is. And the emotional openness in anxious attachment is (generally) just emotional *unavailability* masquerading as honesty. So being proud of that points to a lack of self-awarenes…

I didn’t mean that your comment seemed contemptuous. It was just an explanation of how APs talking about the emotional openness they have and/or their partners don’t comes across, and why that’s unatt…

You don’t have much dating experience if you think everyone tell’s their partner everything on their mind or if they see someone attractive on the street.

I think you have to re assess what attraction means to you. Did you find her attractive when you first met her? If yes then it means you find her attractive. Did it start to feel like you weren’t attr…

I feel you completely but that’s because the guy I was dating was genuinely not very good looking. We had so much in common, could talk for hours, but I genuinely couldn’t utter the words “you look go…

Pushing away is not a love, people don't leave you or cheat on you if they are so much in love with you. When people love they can't keep their hands off from another, and this applies to all relation…

Well my post was more about my experience with learning to take space and regulate myself and focus on myself instead of my previous behaviour of being completely focused on him instead. Security is a…

Text of original post by u/nintendonaut: After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 mon…

Yes, they projects their fault at you so they don't have to be responsible for their own action and issues. After a blissful period of connection and honesty and closeness with my fearful avoidant e…

I’ve been dating my guy for 5 months. He has been extraordinary. Patient, kind, loving, basically says all the things my soul has been dying to hear. He reached out to me, and by date number 2 said he…

I’m gunna go against the grain here because I get where you’re coming from and Reddit is full of myopic people: He is not a good long term partner for you. All these people saying that you should’v…

I am in a long distance relationship with the most secure man I’ve ever met in my life, and he is soooo attractive because of it. I have felt the *calm* excited for the first time in my life and I am …

Perhaps your "FA" was actually BPD. I've never seen any of my partners as either perfect or trash. The person who triggered my attachment system the most, I saw as either charming and attractive, or s…

You can have as many requirements on a partner as you want. The more requirements you have, the likelier you'll be single. But realistically, people don't date the first homeless person on the streets…

I don’t find it attractive anymore. I just want someone who’s secure, it feels like ”this is what is available to me”. Could I find someone better? Hopefully, but I don’t know how because I’ve had bad…

Honestly it sounds like you are overthinking this and taking way too much blame. You are also being over accommodating and gave him too much power. He was proved more than once - more than twice even …

> Now you're waiting for him to reassure you about crisis that doesn't even exist in his reality. > > You invented a crisis where there is none. I really really really agree with the first sentence.…

I am curious, are there men you don’t find attractive who are objectively solid, secure and good men? If so, it may be worth dating them (even just a couple dates) and exploring why they turn you of…

Is my anxious attachment responsible for people not being interested in me very early on in dating? I think I’m a pretty attractive guy but there is a pattern of being rejected after only 1-3 dates w…

Sorry to say but probably you will not become secure while dating insecure.. but this is me talking about my own experience ;). Try to find a way together and both work on attachment in therapy, than …

I got married to a man whom I had met online and we had only met each other about 2 times in person before marriage due to it being a very long distance relationship ( between two countries ) I only …

I am navigating a post-breakup friendship. I really thought long and hard about keeping this person in my life because yeah I know myself and the last thing I wanted was to spiral into an insecure dyn…

Damn. I would date the living shit out of you just because of this post alone. Self-awareness and holding your boundaries this firmly is beyond attractive. Good for you. I have the utmost confidence t…

It’s not really about not attracting people with avoidant attachment. It’s about having strong healthy boundaries for yourself and not finding their emotional unavailability attractive. If you get tur…

I've heard (and taught) all this stuff so many times. I just...have a lot of snags around it all. Let me go through each of your points. I have other hobbies and interests, but it's hard for me to ac…

I used to only feel intensity and the push/pull of chaos as chemistry. Like Spiritual Twist said, I had to heal my own wounds and nervous system to be attracted to peace. If you haven't read it, I HI…

Why is it so hard for me to admit that I am unsure if I like this person across from me, but the fact that she is going on dates and is attractive is keeping me attached. It doesn't feel like she can …

Things that have helped me: - keeping on dating, don’t make one person my only option. Or if dating isn’t happening I try and carry on going to queer events and just meeting new people in general to r…

Date someone less attractive than you.

Less attractive ppl can also be dicks.