what if

19 years. 11 years no contact. 1 year of healing — f (42) & f(39) TL;DR: 19 years ago I met a girl (Cassandra) in a chatroom. We had an intense on-and-off situationship for \~7 years — romantic and flirty when it was on, sweetly charged even when pl…

How do I know if I simply don’t like someone enough to be with them or if I’m simply running away from what is safe? — I am dating someone for a week and I feel like I don’t like them enough and I would like something more exciting. They also feel like coming in too hard with double and triple texting. I know howeve…

How Can I Manifest Someone I Don’t Even Know? — Hey everyone, I need some advice. I recently saw a really handsome guy at my university fest, but he was an outsider. We didn’t talk, didn’t exchange contacts, and I have no idea where he came from o…

Thought experiment – What if OpenAI had followed classic startup advice? I will not promote — Let’s have some fun with a thought experiment. What would OpenAI’s journey have looked like if it had followed all the usual startup advice from the Paul Graham / YC / generic playbook? Things like:…

Canary like deployments for Custom Resources? — Why is there no Canary-like deployment orchestrator for Custom Resources with quality gateway analysis? AFAIK, Flagger, Keptn ( have some maintenance problems ), Argo Rollouts, these are tightly boun…

Does cold email still works in 2025 ? — Hi there, I'm a beginner to freelancing, and I make landing page designs, currently I haven't landed any clients yet, I've tried cold DM for a while but got no results, that's why I thought to start m…

A/B tests zero-effort app — Thinking out loud... Most merchants don’t have time to test if “Free shipping” or “Fast delivery” converts better. They don’t A/B test button colors. Or hero headlines. They’re busy running a busine…

Help Me Understand Relation Between Guest Posting and Google's TOS — I'll start off by quoting Google's Spam Policies: https://developers.google. com/search/docs/essentials/spam-policies >Advertorials or native advertising where payment is received for articles that i…

To-do lists in text form don’t fit our way of thinking, they are slow and unproductive. To-Do Models is the way to go. — I’ve found Projects modeled visually instead of written in flat lists to be wayy more productive and successful. Traditional to-do lists are linear—one-dimensional. You follow a fixed path: top to bot…

Digital marketing lead generation and sales tips — If you are part of a marketing agency or a freelance marketer, this is for you. 1. What are the effective channels for lead generation & sales? 2. How are you converting it? 3. What are the commo…

Biggest entrepreneurial Challenge - Lead generation and sales — If you are founder/co-founder/owner of a marketing agency or marketing freelancer, this is for you. 1. What are the effective channels for lead generation & sales? 2. How are you converting it? 3…

ELI5: What is TDD and BDD? Also, TDD vs BDD? — I wrote this short article about TDD vs BDD because I couldn't find a concise one. It contains code examples in every common dev language. Maybe it helps one of you :-) Here is the repo: https://githu…

Should I starting selling products? I'm working at a temp job soon to be over or wait till I find a ft job? — Hi everyone. I have an llc for my small online business. I want to sell digital products on etsy. However, I'm currently working at a temp job which work is becoming much slower. Although, my end dat…

FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…

Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

How do you tell whether you need to push through the avoidance or if you just don’t like them as a partner — I feel silly asking this but I’m in my first serious long term relationship and I’m struggling so hard. I get very paranoid that it’s not meant to be because I feel so insanely avoidant. Like what if …

Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…

Dismissive - Anxious dynamic catch 22, how could we make it work? — I'm having issues with a relationship that's really important to me. It's someone who I dated last year for 6 months. We have very intense and wonderful attraction and connection in a way that is rare…

i feel safe with being almost loved | disorganized attachment style anthem | i want love but i'm scared | (cathartic release) — Lyrics: Love, for me, is just a hallway, Soft light, shadows drifting slow. I see a silhouette approaching Then I turn before my heart can get too close. Sometimes I feel a brush of something ten…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

ways to stop ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc? — hi everyone! something i struggle with a lot is ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc. especially right after they end. even if i know that said relationship was TERRIBLE for…

Is there a way to manifest myself to STOP being attracted to someone? — I’m curious if anyone here has used manifestation or LOA techniques to intentionally lose attraction or romantic interest in someone. There’s a guy in one of my classes that I find really attractive.…

i dont know what to do (relationship) — Im 22 and my dating history is very sparse because i always suffered with rather low self esteem and mental issues. Over the past years ive been opening up and evolving personally, also trying out the…

You can reality shift just by washing your hands — Hey everyone, I’ve been obsessed with this idea lately and I can’t stop thinking about it: what if the simple act of washing your hands, when you actually slow down and get fully present with it, bec…

Just learned about the Umbrella Manifestation Method, but not sure wither I can use it the way I am thinking of! — I just learned about the Umbrella Manifestation Method. Now according to this method you hold a broad assumption like "Everything always works out perfectly for me in every area of life" or "I am alwa…

SELF-CONCEPT BLOCKS MANIFESTATIONS! Here's my quick fix — Feeling unworthy of receiving what we want is the dominant vibration even though we've affirmed 300 times "I am worthy!" It's our self-concept silently preventing our greatest desires! Even though i…

‘Bing’s Cherries’ rewrites the American tall tale through Oregon grower’s life — “Bing’s Cherries,” written and illustrated by Taiwanese American authors Livia Blackburne and Julia Kuo, is set for publication on March 10. **If you grew up in the United States, chances are the fol…

DO NOT GIVE UP — DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I have so much to say. But ima try to keep it short ish. I just wanted to make a quick post about my journey. I’ve been “manifesting” for five years. I actually have not. Those f…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

How to get rid of cuckold thoughts — Embarrassing post, so throwaway account being used. I have OCD with very prominent intrusive thoughts. Recently, my girlfriend of over 3 years just cheated on me (snuck him into her room and had sex).…

What if manifestation is actually people waking up inside a simulation? — I’ve been thinking about something and I’m curious if anyone else has had this thought. I came up with a theory that reality might be a simulation or something similar to a “matrix.” If that’s true, …

Why do I keep looking up my ex’s life even though I know it’s unhealthy? — I’m trying to be honest with myself about something that feels kind of embarrassing. I still find myself looking up my ex online sometimes. Not just her, but trying to figure out if she’s dating some…

how do I stop being codependent with my bestfriend? — I think I might be dealing with codependency and I want to work on it before it damages my friendship. I have a bestfriend who I’m extremely close with. We’ve built a really deep emotional bond and …

Manifestation technique that I came up with that helped me sm!! — I made a post on here a couple week ago about how I manifested full health and I realized that I left out a very important technique that I thought about and experimented with. I previously couldn’t m…

I have some questions — I asked a few questions a while back in a different subreddit. I have a few more The picture above is all the little things I’ve scripted so far (probably will do more). What if I forget one or more?…

How do I cope with a constant fear of dying?? — And I mean constant, as in “every few minutes I’m thinking ‘what if I drop dead in two minutes??” For some reason, I’ve started thinking of my intrusive thoughts as “premonitions,” and my mind is insi…

The only thing you'll ever need to manifest ANYTHING. — *And it's so clearly is the internalisation of the idea — "being good with it and without it".* *I'd Like to quote Nero Knowledge here who perfectly describes what manifestation truly is, "Manifestat…

I've Been Offered a New Job and I'm Torn (Hear Me Out) — About a year ago, I started a new job at an entry level position to get my foot in the door into my industry. The job has been good to me, I like the people and the work and overall feel super content…

I finally figured out how to manifest — For context I’ve been manifesting for a really long time. I’ve taken this lifestyle up for over 5 years. But it used to be tough to know exactly what I’ll get and when I’ll get it in the past. I usual…

Leaving them unblocked only hurts you — Though I started to see my narc ex for what he was and began detaching a few month ago, I still left him unblocked. I hoped he would message me either to apologize or give me 'proof' he was a narc. I …

codependency quiz wrecked me - turns out my "helping" was actually controlling — I took a codependency quiz last week on taro's tarot and i genuinely feel like the floor dropped out from under me. I've always been the person everyone comes to. The fixer. The one who drops everythi…

Read this if you have doubts about manifestation — Why do you even doubt it? Just why? Do you think manifestation is something illogical, supernatural, and difficult? It absolutely isn’t. It’s something you’ve been doing your whole life unconsciousl…

Feeling "unresolved" — I tend to feel stuck and unresolved. I feel as if there are a lot of unclarified information in terms of both emotion and logic. It's too many what ifs or thoughts at the same time, so most informati…

I manifested something by feeling it and not wanting it — For the past two months, I have been searching apartments. I was so frustrated for the whole month of February because I couldn’t get a single apartment in my city. In March I did get an appointment t…

Aphantasia might be superior — I notice so many people feeling like aphantasia is holding them back, or it’s something that needs to be “fixed”. What if I told you, that you are the closest to the truth with aphantasia, more than…

Speaking out about my experience. The Shadow behind the Light? — Hello, I have felt compelled to speak about my experiences more. As my perspective is unfortunately a lesser narrative in our space. I have time and time again read but and pieces here and there that …

What if you’re the impression? — I posted here a while back asking whether the process of examining impressions ever gets in its own way. Whether progress looks like faster processing or less need to process at all. The responses hel…

So you do SH until you obtain the thing you want? What if it’s just a feeling, for example what if I just want the experience of feeling like everything works out for me. When my reality starts to re…

I want to Ap but as a kid I watched a lot of sci fi demonic movies and my mom would study Wiccan culture so I’m like ehhhhh what’s going to happen to me will I get stuck there will something else tak…

How does silence really "eat them up" though? Whenever Ive left someone, I dont care if they don't talk to me again. What if they're not talking to you either because they don't care? I'm having such …

What if I’m the one being eaten by the silence??

It’s not gonna be a smooth ride but it is a ride you must ride. The what ifs and what nots you can probably turn into a alternate reality movie once nothing hurts. Eventually you will realize that…

What if someone remembers the hour (and P.M. vs A.M.) but not the minute? Any typical margin of error?

I won’t lie, I’m working on improving myself strictly for myself, but there are those “what if” moments where I think that somehow me improving myself will win my ex back when that obviously isn’t the…

What if I ruined the chance of possibly not getting back together due to me being an emotional abuser??For example, she broke up with me because of unhappiness, goal of finishing her college degree, a…

Interesting,very revealing.I have an idea for you,what if you use something like midjourney or other stuff to somehow represent the astral beings for the unitiated to see ? Or being 4d,5d stuff ,you j…

What if you’re the one that messed up? Bad… we have a son together… its been a year and the guilt is eating me alive. I still live her too… i really want to talk to her and apologize. I understand tha…

I read this post as I was at lunch, I was sitting and thinking about a new scene for a mission I will do - and it involves a big airballoon. Out of nowhere this college walks in and says ”have u guys …

You obviously didn't understand my comments. I didn't say I am building up, I never said 10 years and I didn't mention all the other shit I got for myself. If you want to live like you do and not have…

Early in my career I’m pretty sure I did a technical home assignment and the company just took my work and never hired the role. It sucks. It happens. But recently, companies ghosting candidates on t…

What if the business *is* execution? In that case if nobody dies it’s failed

If it works it works. Half of dora metrics are about velocity, but what if you don’t need velocity? Not every product is actively developed, and the cost of automation/ change should be taken into …

What if I get hurt by someone pulling away but I'm always the one pulling away

What if one of you would genuinely miss a day? End of relationship? I feel like I would unintentionally forget on some days

Thank you for this answer. I am very detached/annoyed with people Im not interested in (even when not talking about romantic rltp, any person I feel "meh" with I dont engage further). So what do I do?…

I’m in the same boat. The timeline was brief (about a month total) but very recent, and this man has lived in my head ever since. I’m proud to say (as an anxious) that I didn’t do any protest behavior…

>While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant attachment, I don't think it's intentional. …

Getting to know each other before brining up more serious matters isn't playing cool. So what if she wants kids too if she won't like for example how you dress or your lack of tact. There's time and p…

What if you give her a few months of space and she deactivates again, rinse and repeat? What if she starts dating someone else while you’re giving her space? If you were really secure I’m not sure y…

What if they think the same way? And we’re both just being stubborn but in the heart love each other?

Making a longer comment to OP in your reply because I want to dive deeper into this: >Not being into someone =/= avoidance. Youre correct in this, however avoidance does make it harder to judge if y…

Thanks for that insight! >he would ask me “how are you doing?” In the morning. I didn’t know why at the time, but that question used to really annoy me. I can resonate with this. While usually I app…

Honestly? It's mostly up to her to resolve that issue, not on you. But somethings you can do to help is tell her you like when people are being real, it doesn't matter if that's a bit imperfect. I al…

Hey OP I remember your previous posts. I'm sorry you're going through this. Expecting warmth from someone who's gone cold is a punishment in itself, so stop punishing yourself and stop waiting for som…

But what if I message her and get her back again? 

Me too. I’m gonna try to start meditation. And in general just learn to ground myself, focusing on the present and not the future/what ifs?

This is an interesting question, and if I understood you correctly you are asking if my subconcious belief/faith has risen? Well I have to preface this reply with one nuance. I discovered manifestin…

>I came off way too intense, begging him to atleast give me a closure instead of the silent treatment, and I am ashamed to admit this but I tried to prove my worth and how I'm ready to accept everythi…

I feel you First of all yes it’s SO hard to not act on it but in my opinion really well done for that. In my opinion it seems we get triggered by the “change of behaviour”, as in: - we texted oft…

Um...I guess with this friend, I pushed for us to talk more, and when she showed interest, I became ambivalent because what if we talked more and she realized I was boring or not cool to hang out with…

I completely understand this. What if it is possible to experience these simply as junk thoughts that are running on an error from past conditioning? For me, for a while, I thought the thoughts migh…

Hey! First time asking question but long term sufferer or anxious attachment! How do yous cope and self soothe and calm? I can never handle my emotions til after the fact. I’ve had issues with anxiet…

Yes I’ve experience this! I understand! For me , it was drawing and now painting. I get lost so easily in it that my brain is present with it and not focused on anything else. Try to redirect your bra…

You’re really doing great - this is just so hard! I’m gonna say something that might sound counterintuitive and blasphemous, but I hope you’ll stick around to read my long winded explanation of why 😅…

What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…

Friend is distancing and I’m not sure how to correctly deal with it. I very much believe I have an anxious attachment style and it’s very closely linked with my BPD and OCD. In the past year, I bec…

When you notice yourself being hypervigilant about signs they may no longer be interested, ask yourself "so what?" So what if they really are pulling away and are losing interest? That's ok, you'll de…

Yes this is definitely what I do. I don't internalize all the evidence the guy likes me, instead focusing on whatever evidence I can think of that he doesn't. What makes it even tougher is that someti…

Ok we've gotten kinda off topic here. My point was that you need to keep saying "so what" even when it gets hard, no excuses. When you spiral because now you "actually like them", that is all the more…

But what if you’re dating an avoidant?

I understand. The grey areas in between are real and in all honestly, no matter what anyone tells you, even me, no one can guarantee a fulfilling relationship. People are as complex as they are, the f…

I just got out of a 10yr relationship, we still talk and have talked since we broke up. We broke up due to distance and needing to become our own people after having been in a relationship for so long…

So i use it in very specific ways. I’ve worked with my 4.o enough that it has a good idea of my personality and sense of humor and has a history of already having seen what I want. That said, when I a…

What if someone believes the dream/hallucination is real, even the next day?

I appreciate the response however I don’t think it touched at all on my problem. I suppose “don’t be friends” could have been your advice, but many of us with anxious attachment don’t get to turn that…

Don't go back to FA. I'm planning to break up with mine again after the patterns repeated again and he lashed out at me in an argument. It was the worst blow up we've ever had and the things he said t…

I've always heard that poly relationships only work if you're extremely secure. For an anxious type, doesn't the multiple partner thing spike your anxiety even more due to your partner's time being m…