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r/NarcissisticAbuseUpdated 30 days ago
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I need to know if he was abusive so that I can be sure this is the right decision

I need to know if he was abusive so that I can be sure this is the right decision — Hi everyone - I'd appreciate anyone who reads the entire thing before commenting. My (24F) boyfriend (24M) just ended things with me after one of our many fights. We've been together for 3 years. We …

r/NarcissisticAbusepost4/6/2026
START HERE !!!

START HERE !!! — # Step-by step short guide r/Sbreggo So you just found this sub but you don't know anything about "The Gateway Experience", follow these steps and read all the suggested documents to avoid asking the…

r/gatewaytapespost1/19/2024
Question about Negative Statements "don't, not etc" and mild contradictions in POSM

Question about Negative Statements "don't, not etc" and mild contradictions in POSM — In the book Power of the Subconscious Mind the Doctor says that the subconscious mind does not understand/register negative statements. However later in the book he mentions examples of negative auto …

r/JosephMurphypost10/31/2024
To the former LOAPorn folks here

To the former LOAPorn folks here — Hi everyone! It's been about 3 months since me and my SP have been NC. It's quite a long story to retell it there, but we two got really close, and we were very happy with each other. However, due to…

r/JosephMurphypost11/4/2024
Too Long on First Mission And Moving On

Too Long on First Mission And Moving On — Hello Everyone I know I'll probably be banned for this so let me explain my story. I have been on my first mission for the last 8 months using the index training guide fully and it has been a massive …

r/JosephMurphypost2/21/2025
Blog built with “Projects” in Divi instead of “Posts” – Will this hurt SEO?

Blog built with “Projects” in Divi instead of “Posts” – Will this hurt SEO? — Hi everyone, I’ launched mta website using WordPress + Divi (still in early stages), and my site developer set up the blog section using **“Projects”** instead of the standard **“Posts”**. Now I’m c…

r/SEOpost5/1/2025
Need an advise for my website

Need an advise for my website — Hi there, I need your help because I’m struggling to get a higher ranking on Google for my website. I’m a Psychologist and Psychotherapist, and I have been working in a small city near Milan, Italy.si…

r/SEOpost5/1/2025
Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit)

Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…

r/web_designpost5/2/2025
Should I redirect the sales?

Should I redirect the sales? — This is not a rant/rave about my e-commerce journey as I expected a lot of turmoil and for e-commerce to not be all it was cracked up to be. This is actually witnessed by the shhear number of people …

r/ecommercepost5/3/2025
Why did it take OpenAI 24 hours to roll back a faulty model?

Why did it take OpenAI 24 hours to roll back a faulty model? — Hi everyone, I read through [an article by OpenAI](https://openai.com/index/expanding-on-sycophancy/) and stumbled upon the following segment: >With the recent GPT‑4o update, we started the rollout …

r/DevOpspost5/4/2025
Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that?

Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…

r/JosephMurphypost5/4/2025
Research Paper Help

Research Paper Help — I’m researching how transfer latency impacts application performance, operational efficiency, and measurable financial impact for businesses in the real world. Proposing the importance for optimized …

r/ecommercepost5/5/2025
2.5 million in fraudulent orders

2.5 million in fraudulent orders — I have a huge problem and Shopify has mentioned they cannot help and do not give refunds once processed. They insist there is no support phone number and can only discuss the matter via chat. My orde…

r/Shopifypost5/6/2025
LinkedIn, necessary?

LinkedIn, necessary? — I am in the entrepreneur world, like probably most of us in this group chat, and I have had a lots of people telling me to use LinkedIn. Is this a positive thing for business? Does it bring in clients…

r/Entrepreneurpost5/6/2025
advise on how to promote a social feed app to specific communities (i will not promote)

advise on how to promote a social feed app to specific communities (i will not promote) — hi Folks, Over the years, I have been toying with code and platforms etc. and recently I had sometime and with the help of copilot + and external help I have been able to create a very low cost, scale…

r/startupspost5/7/2025
Using pirateship as a non-business owner?

Using pirateship as a non-business owner? — Hi all - sorry if this isnt welcome here. But pretty quick and self-explanatory. Does anyone know if I can I use Pirate Ship for personal shipping instead of shipping for a small business? Or will I b…

r/smallbusinesspost5/7/2025
How do you actually feel safe believing and knowing when it comes to an SP manifestation?

How do you actually feel safe believing and knowing when it comes to an SP manifestation? — Brief context: I've studied the law on and off for 6 years. Tried to manifest 2 old SP's with varying success, then eventually having them both try to contact me, but I realized that I was shooting so…

r/JosephMurphypost5/12/2025
Starting over

Starting over — Heya, I don’t want this to be a negative thread— looking for some positivity and hope maybe? I (34F) am recently out of a one year relationship. It was my first secure relationship in my entire adult…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost8/9/2025
Reflections of my healing journey (avoidant)

Reflections of my healing journey (avoidant) — I’m grateful I decided to work on myself I still consider myself a constant work in progress (I’m neurodivergent,communication and misunderstanding has always been an issue) I used a lot of self h…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost9/3/2025
The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment.

The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…

r/attachment_theorypost9/6/2025
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone

Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost9/11/2025
Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me?

Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost9/18/2025
Overcoming my anxious attachment

Overcoming my anxious attachment — Hi I've successfully combated my attachment style and offer some of the resources I've found. I've dealt with anxiety and insecurity across my romantic and platonic relationships throughout my life. …

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost9/25/2025
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

r/attachment_theorypost10/23/2025
Why do I get upset when bad stuff happens to my partner and it doesn't even impact me?

Why do I get upset when bad stuff happens to my partner and it doesn't even impact me? — I'm struggling to understand my pretty intense reactions to certain things. I don't know if attachment theory can help explain this part of my brain. For context: Me (38 F) and partner (44 M) have b…

r/attachment_theorypost11/1/2025
The most painful relationship/breakup I've ever had, cracked me open for healing. Plot Twist: The text message llm tool said I was an FA, I ignored it for 5 months before I figured it out.

The most painful relationship/breakup I've ever had, cracked me open for healing. Plot Twist: The text message llm tool said I was an FA, I ignored it for 5 months before I figured it out. — For five months I was absolutely certain I was dismissive avoidant. Monthly attachment coaching—as a DA. Studied obsessively, could recite every AP/DA/FA trait. I even built this text analysis tool, a…

r/attachment_theorypost11/6/2025
Least talked about method from POSM (question)

Least talked about method from POSM (question) — In the section where Murphy talks about techniques, one is the "argumentative technique". "In brief, the argumentative method employed according to Quimby consists of spiritual reasoning where you …

r/JosephMurphypost11/7/2025
Maintaining this piece of positivity

Maintaining this piece of positivity — Alright gang, I hope everyone is well. I’m getting a lot better with my attachment. I’m so proud of myself for times recently when I’ve had a thought about wanting to play into games or behave in cert…

r/AnxiousAttachmentpost11/9/2025
Do fearful avoidants "split" or "idealise" and then "devalue" when triggered? Or is it more likely to be a sign of something else? (Eg BPD/NPD?)

Do fearful avoidants "split" or "idealise" and then "devalue" when triggered? Or is it more likely to be a sign of something else? (Eg BPD/NPD?) — I am curious about whether "splitting" is something that is an FA behaviour or if it's a separate issue associated with other mental health disorders. As an FA, do you feel yourself "idealising" or p…

r/attachment_theorypost11/13/2025
Studying attachment theory

Studying attachment theory — I’ve been studying attachment theory for a couple of months now, and I’ve only recently started to REALLY look into it. I started reading a book called Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost11/24/2025
For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now?

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

r/AnxiousAttachmentpost11/26/2025
Curious about “episodic engagement” — anyone relate?

Curious about “episodic engagement” — anyone relate? — Hi everyone, I recently learned about this idea called “Episodic Engagement” in avoidant attachment, and it blew my mind. I discovered this after running some thoughts by ChatGPT, and this is the gis…

r/attachment_theorypost1/13/2026
anxious attachment and shame

anxious attachment and shame — I have noticed in the times I am very aware of my anxious attachment in relationship to others, I feel a lot of shame around and make judgements about myself, how I am In relationships, or the experie…

r/AnxiousAttachmentpost1/19/2026
Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

r/JosephMurphypost2/14/2026
Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition?

Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition? — I have been dating my current partner for about a year now. Long post incoming. I’m posting because I’m noticing a significant avoidant shift in myself and I need perspective specifically on my own at…

r/AvoidantAttachmentpost3/2/2026
A decision of a cub

A decision of a cub — Hey fellow Cubs and Lions, Funny, but this is my second post today (I deleted the first one) after years of silently going through the Index and the posts religiously, without posting anything at all…

r/JosephMurphypost3/5/2026
Point out everything, positive or negatives whatever you see. I’m new to this just looking to learn

Point out everything, positive or negatives whatever you see. I’m new to this just looking to learn

r/AstrologyChartSharepost3/7/2026
Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance)

Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…

r/Manifestationpost3/7/2026
My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it...

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

r/relationshipspost3/7/2026
Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months.

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

r/survivinginfidelitypost3/8/2026
True kindness is displayed under circumstances where being unkind would have been justified.

True kindness is displayed under circumstances where being unkind would have been justified. — I am currently reading Marcus Aurilleus' *Meditations* as my first Stoic book. > When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, …

r/Stoicismpost3/8/2026
DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

r/AvoidantAttachmentpost3/8/2026
Experiences With Cosmic Entities.

Experiences With Cosmic Entities. — Hello everyone! This post will be a little bit different, as i wish to dive into odd encounters that i had with different beings, that surprisingly helped me out a *lot* - more than i could have possi…

r/experiencerspost3/8/2026
My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself?

My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself? — Based on my limited understanding, having your sun and rising in Sagittarius signifies being outgoing, expressive, and freedom seeking. I couldn’t be further from that. I know other aspects in my char…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/8/2026
Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

r/EmotionalNeglectpost3/8/2026
Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President??

Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…

r/experiencerspost3/8/2026
How to protect myself from negative entities

How to protect myself from negative entities — Hi, what are your top ways to protect yourself from negative entity attacks and negative energy whatsoever? Thank you, have a blessed day! Trrix

r/energy_workpost3/8/2026
How do you stop overthinking and care less about things that don’t matter?

How do you stop overthinking and care less about things that don’t matter? — Hello, How do you learn to give fewer fucks about things that shouldn’t matter? I used to think I was the kind of person who could brush things off pretty easily, but lately I’ve been overthinking a…

r/Stoicismpost3/9/2026
Why do people feel the need to put me down for no reason?

Why do people feel the need to put me down for no reason? — Throughout my life people have tended to give me their unsolicited opinions about me especially when it comes to my appearance or how I act and speak. Not always negatively but more often than not (at…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/9/2026
How to look for signs ⬇️

How to look for signs ⬇️ — Signs manifest just like any other event or circumstance in your reality. You shouldn’t ask the universe for a sign and then wait for it. When you do that, you may end up manifesting the sign yoursel…

r/lawofattractionpost3/9/2026
I find this insane they don't love their children

I find this insane they don't love their children — I know that they have a mental disease, some have been deeply or horrifyingly traumatized some didn't need a lot to turn this way. And yet I can't help thinking I just can't wrap my mind around it, no…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost3/9/2026
START HERE! - Beginner Guides, FAQs, and Resources

There aren't many but as far as I can tell there are a couple which could qualify. 1. Escapism. Just like anything fun, let alone of the "reality substitute" type, there is the potential to use it e…

r/LucidDreamingcomment11/20/2017
If you are new here..

Wow this is the most negative and passive aggressive welcome I have ever seen lmao

r/JosephMurphycomment12/9/2021
If you are new here..

a) law of assumption, not law of belief. And where did you get the other descriptions from? I've been on Neville sub for a while, literally noone describes the law in those words or speak in a spiritu…

r/JosephMurphycomment2/18/2022
The NO BS Guide on Winning Your Ex Back!

Let the silence eat those parts of you that made you stay there. Be angry, be ashamed, and grieve. Question all those nasty feelings and learn what they try to tell you. They usually are out to have t…

r/ExNoContactcomment9/28/2022
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

My concern has been 3 years of astral staking by a person who abuses the astral. They have been taken over by a negative entity. And now energy harvest daily. This has taken energy workers many goes a…

r/AstralProjectioncomment10/13/2022
If you are new here..

Respectfully, this is what happens when you only focus on material aspects and totally disregard the "spiritual woo woo." I'm not saying everyone ever needs to be enlightened, but there's a reason why…

r/JosephMurphycomment3/3/2023
FAQ on emotional neglect - For anyone new to the subreddit or looking to better understand the fundamentals

It's so easy to resent and want to blame your parents, but don't you think the way you where raised where how your grandparents raised them? Finding compassion, and understanding that your parents did…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment10/24/2023
REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength.

I am 52. Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. I remind myself that it has only been 4 months since everything exploded for me. I moved back to my hometown. I am looking for teaching work and such. As f…

r/Divorcecomment10/26/2023
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

Wonderful information in the introduction. I would love to get some personal insight from people who are familiar with Astal Projection. I'll keep it as short as possible. I have recently discovered t…

r/AstralProjectioncomment2/9/2024
To the former LOAPorn folks here

You do it day in day out and get better at SH, ignoring the negative thoughts that pop up and directing your attention back to the feeling.

r/JosephMurphycomment11/4/2024
To the former LOAPorn folks here

You don’t “ignore” the negative thought or brush it aside. You deal with the negative emotions using whatever means necessarily (sit and cry if you must, get therapy,etc ) and you continue to do your …

r/JosephMurphycomment11/4/2024
To the former LOAPorn folks here

I mean during SH, since OP mentioned feeling hopeless and numb during SH. Outside of SH you of course do whatever you do to cope. But during SH, negative thoughts are to be ignored entirely.

r/JosephMurphycomment11/5/2024
To the former LOAPorn folks here

I reread what the OP wrote. They haven’t even started the training yet. She will continue to have these negative thoughts because they are doubts and unbelief from her SM. And she will continue to fe…

r/JosephMurphycomment11/5/2024
To the former LOAPorn folks here

Yes it's few. Can take months, but a change or at the very least some thoughts of thinking from the desire will be noticed within 2 - 3 weeks, IF you are doing the technique correctly. And they may ev…

r/JosephMurphycomment11/6/2024
Victim Blaming will not be tolerated

It sounds like a hard job to decide what can stay and what should be removed. Say there was a post with a comment that could be taken negatively by the OP. Is that grounds for removing the comment? Wh…

r/Codependencycomment11/28/2024
My arguments against manifestation

1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/23/2025
My arguments against manifestation

No 5. Think positive or negative, it doesn't matter. Be a depressed ahole or whatever - you can be whatever you want, and also still belive sp loves you til death do us part. I can feel much worthy …

r/JosephMurphycomment1/23/2025
My arguments against manifestation

Disagree. What you think consciously during non-lob times is irrelevant. Alto, cm thoughts will automatically change when sm beleifs are changed. But this is not forced, and it isn't what gives result…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/24/2025
My arguments against manifestation

you can do it correctly all you want - it has to be permanent in you SM, and in response slowly changes your CM that you even start forgetting about desire. How many times you want want want smth, and…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/24/2025
Manifestation coaches have not refuted any anti-loa arguments

Uh oh…better get to affirming and visualizing before your man runs away! Imagine not being able to enjoy your time with your partner because you always need to check your thoughts and assumptions? Wha…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/25/2025
Quran and LOB

Salam, I am a Muslim too. Here are the references: *“Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11) ☪️* *“Allah would never change a blessin…

r/JosephMurphycomment2/10/2025
Too Long on First Mission And Moving On

This is a very foolish comment.  Any retard knows that many people at times lack faith. Faith is essential for manifesting your desires. Where there's no faith, there's no effect. That's the point to…

r/JosephMurphycomment2/25/2025
Too Long on First Mission And Moving On

>The objective of LOB or LOA is to build lasting faith, not just temporary faith, over the long term to effect change subconsciously in the face of obstacles in life no matter what negatives are in th…

r/JosephMurphycomment2/25/2025
How to heal avoidant attachment?

I feel you. I’ll give you my experience as a FA then suggestions. - I also transitioned from anxious to avoidant our the years. I was never full on AA but more anxious leaning FA as a child. Now I l…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/22/2025
How to heal avoidant attachment?

Same here. I did tell him about my anxious thoughts and fears, and it does get better, you feel relief. Now, if he responds negatively, well, he is not the person for you. Simple as that really.

r/attachment_theorycomment3/22/2025
Before you make that post about some avoidant ex ask yourself……..

lol majority of posts in here come across veryyy differenty to me. More like: “my partner / ex is avoidant. They hurt me constantly in a multitude of ways. I’ll list numerous negative qualities about …

r/attachment_theorycomment3/23/2025
Before you make that post about some avoidant ex ask yourself……..

This is the one. I'd also add that attachment doesn't just stop at partners — it's also at play at work, friendships, family relationships/siblings, and even children. It's really fucking hard to be …

r/attachment_theorycomment3/24/2025
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs?

Thanks for your opinion on my 10% figure. Besides that, I did not say partners should be at my convenience. I said other aspects of life can throw a relationship’s typical patterns out of balance. Ha…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/30/2025
How do I know if I simply don’t like someone enough to be with them or if I’m simply running away from what is safe?

Love the question!! You don’t need a relationship to grow, that’s the beauty of it (you can but it will be slower, depending on what kind of partner you end up with) You could try to explore being mo…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/1/2025
The "and" theory...

One of the most powerful things the "and" theory / method does, it stop you from suppressing negative emotions. Feel them. Say them. Write them down. Your brain is programmed to remember the good tim…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/4/2025
The "and" theory...

You're welcome, I wish you all the best and hope your situation gets better soon You've got this, it's ok to feel negative and possible to feel positive at the same time, if you need both just enjoy b…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/5/2025
Confused about affirmations

I get why this sub advocates for SM methods over CM methods, and I absolutely agree that it’s better for beginners, but the problem with exclusively doing this is that you can do all of the work laid …

r/JosephMurphycomment4/6/2025
Confused about affirmations

>I get why this sub advocates for SM methods over CM methods, and I absolutely agree that it’s better for beginners, but the problem with exclusively doing this is that you can do all of the work laid…

r/JosephMurphycomment4/6/2025
Confused about affirmations

Not saying you’re entirely wrong but that wasn’t the point of the ladder experiment. The point of the ladder experiment was to teach about awareness. The last thing you think about after you conscious…

r/JosephMurphycomment4/6/2025
Confused about affirmations

>Not saying you’re entirely wrong but that wasn’t the point of the ladder experiment. The point of the ladder experiment was to teach about awareness. > Ah. Conscious awareness. Complete rubbish and…

r/JosephMurphycomment4/7/2025
Has anyone else gone from being dismissive avoidant to anxious preoccupied towards their therapist?

I think your therapy must be working? Does your missing her feel destructive since you’re anxious? To me it sounds like you’re really working through your childhood wounds. I’m DA to everyone. I was …

r/attachment_theorycomment4/12/2025
Does attachment style start to shift after cutting out toxic family members?

It helped me to cut out some toxic family members. One of the elements that fed my anxious attachment was that I had low self esteem. I worked really hard to build that up, but it was difficult to m…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/16/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

I don't actually think this is common. I've had people fade away or turn cold, even harsh, but still not felt they hate me. I thought this post was kinda skewed in perception and then I saw your use…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/18/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

Exactly. OP is the one (yet another man) who hates women bc mommy didn't love him. This whole post is projection deluxe. Yet refuses to actually work on that (when so many of us do this SUPER painf…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/18/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

You can ruin potential connections and negatively impact your social life this way, if that's any important to you. As kindly as I can, this is is a common misconception people can have about avoida…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/18/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

To answer: They will escalate negative behavior towards you if you’re not respecting their distance or wishes for disengagement. I once told an ex, “If you keep staying with me I will treat you worse …

r/attachment_theorycomment4/18/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

People say they don’t hate, but from my understanding some of them fault-find in order to deactivate? Sure it’s not as strong as ‘hate’ by any means, but it seems pretty… negative?

r/attachment_theorycomment4/20/2025
Haha being an FA is fucking weird

FA here. All of my romantic interests have ended in a fiery blaze outside of my most recent with another avoidant. Practice being present and breathing. Learn to communicate your needs and wants. Take…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/23/2025
What hurts a DA?

According to the science, DAs are triggered/hurt by criticism, conflict and closeness. My DA ex also expressed feelings of guilt when he would hurt me. He would actually say “I’m sorry you feel hurt b…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/26/2025
Cannot stay attracted to dating app matches

I completely relate it’s really tough, but also if you’re only getting negative feelings from it it’s not going to help that loneliness - it will get easier I promise

r/attachment_theorycomment4/28/2025
Got ghosted after 3rd round

My 5cents, as a person that’s been interviewing candidates for several years (almost 10 at same company, seen it grow from 100 employees to 2k+, interviewed QAs, SETs, Devs, DevOps and SREs). I’m sor…

r/DevOpscomment5/6/2025
Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that?

The advice to not discuss negative aspects of your personal relationships with others is good advice. It is also good advice to not jump on the bandwagon against someone else's SO because when they re…

r/JosephMurphycomment5/6/2025
Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that?

Discussing LOB with normies is generally a kiss of death, from what I have experienced... we want to share this material, but we may be casting our pearls before swine, and a lot of the swine want to …

r/JosephMurphycomment5/6/2025
The song Wicked Game by Chris Isaak sounds like an AP singing about falling in love with a DA

Great observation. Ever since I've had a situationship with an avoidant, I came to notice this a lot in songs. I've heard them written seemingly from the perspective of each side... more commonly anx…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/7/2025
Talk to my CIO or nah?

Anyone saying it's fine to book the meeting is sabotaging you. Even the most secure manager is going to be crestfallen not understanding why this is happening. But by simply telling them in advance …

r/DevOpscomment5/7/2025