chore

I feel overwhelmed and lost and I think being the only and eldest daughter plays a role — I am 25 years old and the eldest and only daughter with four younger brothers. After spending the last few days with my family, I feel completely unimportant, like I don’t matter. Growing up, I was al…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Is deactivation the real her? — When my FA and I started dating, she said, “I’m afraid you won’t like me when you get to know the real me.” She was sweet, caring, thoughtful, and made a real effort to be part of my life. We were i…

contemplating root of avoidance — I have been considering why some of my relationships work while others make me disconnect. I think the root is a desire to feel deeply understood and seen. I recently had a connection with someone I…

I’m 20 and my mom still asks for my phone and laptop every night or there's consequences — I'm 20 (F) and turning 21 in a few months. My mom recently started asking me to surrender my laptop and phone again. "Again" because she did this to me as well when I was 13-18 years old. Before, she…

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

Does anyone else just not tell their mother anything — I have too much trauma to write here but in short I stopped telling my mum anything from about the age of 16 (now 31) because I learnt the hard way that anytime I was brave enough to share my true tho…

When the therapist is speechless… — I had my therapy session this week and she asked what I did differently with my kids than my own mother (who had Dxd Borderline). I told her my children were allowed childhoods, kids were not parenti…

Children know when they parents don't love them. Children know when their parents resent and hate them. — It's surprising the amount of parents who not only think that their abuse is justified, but that believe that their children "are too young, so they won't notice" or "they'll forget about it". I heard…

Traditional meditation feels like a chore, but my own 'quiet mind' method feels amazing. Am I missing something? — I have a particular style of meditation which I can't explain very well, but I just allow my mind to go quiet. I still have similar thoughts to daily life, but I feel like I'm only very partially enga…

I (34F) found out my ex-husband (40M) cheated on me again, after we were supposed to be working things out. — I found out, from the person he's been cheating on me with, that it happened over a year ago and has been happening since. Of course i flipped out and went ballistic! He claims she was psycho and wa…

Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…

Sunken Cost Fallacy — Married for almost 27 years. Got married at the ripe age of 19. Funny thing, I thought it was a mistake on my wedding night when he got out of bed to jack off because I was so exhausted from the long …

My parents raised me to just serve people — I'm 22(F) and have moved away from my parents place but might have to go back because it has become too expensive to live alone and my parents bought a bigger house so it would all work out for me if …

I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…

I was the husband who didn't do enough. Sharing my perspective — It wasn’t a single explosion but a slow grind between two people who couldn’t agree on what a "good life" looked like. For a long time, I was admittedly the husband who didn’t pull his weight, a chara…

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

First Regulate Your Nervous System — Recently I watched a YouTube video by a guy named Reeves Tsang called how to reset your nervous system (and how to finally override your reality) This is one of the first manifestation videos I've se…

I'm buying books but not actually reading any of them. How do I actually enjoy sitting down and reading a piece of literature? — I want to be more well read. I love the thought of reading all classic books and authors that people talk about. Dostoyevsky, Joyce, Kafka, Melville just to name a few. Everyone rants and raves about …

My (23M) girlfriend (26F) desires less sex and has slowly stopped initiating. When are things deemed as sexual incompatibility? — My (23M) girlfriend (26F) has, over the course of our 3 year long relationship, wanted less sex. At the start of our relationship, we were going at it like crazy. Daily, if not twice a day. Over time …

Am I (26f) throwing away my relationship with my (30m) boyfriend? — ​ I 26/F have been with my BF 30/M for almost 4 years (june). I have been unhappy for at least 2 of these years. we have talked it out multiple times, he usually cries and becomes very upset w…

Out of curiosity, do your parents even fit the "demanding in-law" stereotype?" — This is a reason often levied against AM for not wanting to date them, but the Asian generation I know who are 1.5 generation onwards are honestly very chill and easy going. And this is doubly true fo…

I (34m) have been with my partner (34f) for 8 years. I have supported us financially for 8 years but want her to contribute and I'm made to feel like the bad guy — She had just quit her job when we met and dated for a few months before she moved in and I agreed to support us until she was able to find work. She has had a part time job here and there over the yea…

28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. — 28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. My (28M) wife (30F) and I have been distancing lately. We have been together for almost 5 year…

I am dropping Loa — LOA is draining my energy and it's becoming like a chore where you are not getting paid but you have to expend your energy. I have been trying to shift to my reality for so long like a year has pass…

I'm so sick of laying in bed — don't know what to do. I work a regular 40 hour office job that's not even that difficult or stressful. But as soon as I'm home, I end up in bed. Even showering feels like a chore. Getting out of bed…

My body constantly feels like a panic attack ... how do I ever reverse this? — Hi, all! I really would appreciate some help here. I've had a lot of traumatic things happen in the last few years, and I realized a lot of traumatic things happened in my childhood. There is a lot I'…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

Realizing there is caretaker codependency happening in my relationship — My own journey with codependency has been a lot. My previous relationships were abusive. I’ve been in intense talk and EMDR therapy for a very long time and made lots of progress, but it feels as thou…

40(m) w/ADHD needing to be reliable/dependable at home — I am 40(m) and separated from my (39f) wife. We live together still but I am just trying to be dependable and reliable from a co-parenting and human standpoint. We have 3 boys and I have ADHD and a…

18F. Forgot to pack a small biscuit and ended with him wishing I don't pass my dream University — I'm about to start my college life and Im living with my step dad and mom in a small apartment. I had my own cute little dream about getting in this TOP 1 COLLEGE for my whole high school life. My dad…

Leaving, but it is complicated — This may or may not be in the right sub. I'm not sure if I fit into al-anon, nar-anon, or NAMI, but what I am struggling with right now does fall under the work I've been doing to break codependent tr…

Gets mad at me for not being home just so I can be their crutch — I literally can’t stand my APs. I’m 23 years old working part time but I still pay for my bills at home. My dad is in his mid 50s and mom is approaching late 40s. Mind you my dad owns his business doi…

Post traumatic cognitive decline affecting speech and conversational ability. Can meditation help? — I had an extremely traumatic event occur to me 8 years ago. I was able to recover emotionally after about 6 months to a normal emotional state. However, I noticed a significant decline in my ability t…

Should I (29F) stop waiting and move on from my boyfriend (30M) of 5 years? — I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (30M) for almost 6 years now and I think I have been very patient with him. I know not everyone likes this concept but a year and a half ago I told my boyfriend t…

Finding myself — Hi everyone I’ve recently gone threw a break up a weird situation where we still live together until he finds a place, I have 2 kids and my life is a mess. I have many many problems I need to work …

April 2026 Astrology: Key Dates, Weekly Forecast and Mundane Astrology World Events — April is one of the most active months we’ve seen. Not one planet is in retrograde. Aries fire and cardinal energy sets the stage for initiation, assertion and spontaneous energy. There is a bit of na…

fiancee of 3 years just broke up — im just whining, its all my fault but I can't live with it. i helped him escape from his murderous transphobic mother and we started living together. shortly after he let his military father take him …

Questioning ending a long term relationship — I (25F) am starting to question ending a long term relationship with my boyfriend (26M). We have been together since December of 2019, so about 6.5 years.  To give some background, I moved across the…

3 months of no contact and I still can’t let go. What should I do? — I’m Mia (20 y.o) and I have clinical depression. My ex Daniel (19 y.o.) and has the same diagnosis. English is my second language, so sorry if something is hard to read, an also sorry for such a huge…

Wife asked for a divorce. We have two toddlers and still live together. How do you survive this? — I am in the thick of it right now and could really use some perspective from people who have made it to the other side. Recently, my wife told me she wants a divorce. She has made it very clear that …

I have bare mummy issues from being raised by a boy mum — My dad is genuinely just a terrible person. A far far worse parent than my mum, but I think because of this my brain didn't even register him as a parent, just an abusive man that lived in my house. I…

32 years old, 4.5 years into the healing journey I've literally JUST realized I was sheltered — I can't believe this has only just hit me. I'm 32 years of age. THIRTY-TWO! It's literally just in the past hour hit me that I was extremely sheltered growing up and it's lead to me lacking the skills…

I (18M) caught my Mom (44F) Cheating on my Dad (46M) and I don't know what to do — General Idea of our Family - My dad goes to work 5 days a week and comes back to visit us on wednesday evening and weekends. My mom is a teacher and goes to school in evening shift from 1 to 6 pm ever…

30F struggling with mental load: boyfriend (28M) doesn’t take initiative at home — My boyfriend (28M) and I (30F) have been together for 3 years and recently moved in together. We’re struggling with splitting household responsibilities and I’m starting to feel really overwhelmed. I…

They can't stand seeing you relax — So it's just after 9am in the morning here, I've been up with our toddler since 6am. Have unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, cleared out the cat litter, wiped down surfaces, sorted breakfast for my l…

How I finally hacked meditation with an extremely loud inner monologue — I've been practicing meditation since 2019. Traditional techniques never worked for me because of my extremely loud inner monologue (a phonological loop due to dominant introverted thinking), so I had…

Being an adrenaline junkie in my DR — ​ I’ll be completely honest with you guys: I originally only got into shifting because I wanted to get boned. I have a terrible time connecting with people in this CR, so that was my main moti…

Help Finding Fulfillment — So its been about a year and a half since my 6 six year relationship with my narcissisticly abusive ex ended and about 6 months since I went no contact. prior to the relationship I was already diagnos…

My (26F) ex(25M) ended our 5‑year relationship out of nowhere and I’m devastated — Hi, I’m going through a very painful breakup and I’m really depressed. I don’t know what to do. My post might be long, but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible while including the details that fee…

How do you not care about what your parents say to you? ex. medical judgement? — I've been sick bad for the past year. I might have been vitamin deficient before, but there is some issue where my body has stopped absorbing certain vitamins. I found out i was iron, d, and b12 defic…

Yes it's few. Can take months, but a change or at the very least some thoughts of thinking from the desire will be noticed within 2 - 3 weeks, IF you are doing the technique correctly. And they may ev…

There's grype too: https://github.com/anchore/grype

I think there's a lot of overlap between limerence and codependency and you should research the latter more. I personally feel like the online conversations about limerence are not very useful and you…

Doing things in place of limerence is coping. Coping helps in the immediate/short-term, but not the long term.  I'd recommend using an IFS style approach when you catch the limerence happening and t…

I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. I injured my foot but had no crutches. He watched me crawl around the floor to get to …

Update to the situation: two days ago he stopped texting me after three days of barely texting. I sent him stuff, he didn't open the chat, but he was constantly online. I asked him hours later if ever…

Yeah I guess that's an interesting perspective, thank you. I guess I can see how fear of rejection would show up. I do think part of him feels that the right person would just know and things would ju…

So it's good you recognize what's happening. Establish some general healthy expectations - like your partner checking in with you if he's gonna be gone for a while. Trust between you will help. Kn…

When my DA ex and I were still together he would sometimes say similar stuff ("*when* we breakup," etc.), and i figured out it was 2 parts pushing away so he didn't feel smothered/overwhelmed and 1 pa…

To start as an anxious preoccupied attacher it helps to get into our heads. Avoidant types can have a disposition that leaves a more anxious person feeling unsure of their stance with them, leaving th…

Hi!! I highly recommend these: For core wounds and relationships : 📚Mathew Micheletti and 3 more The Inner Work of Relationships: An Invitation to Heal Your Inner Child and Create a Conscious R…

I hate voice notes with passion. They are convenient to send, but very inconvenient to receive - not all of us are wearing headphones all the time. Granted, nowadays it's getting easier with various p…

Oh my gosh that sounds the best of both worlds. Currently I can’t fathom sharing my space again post divorce and coparenting but sharing a backyard and lawn chores? I could do that.

Request for stories! Looking for the experiences of couples that have moved in with one another when both had their own homes/lives well established before the relationship started. Who did the mo…

Vent. My guy came over last night. It was okay. Just felt a little flat. Think we hit our first bump this morning. It’s been over three months. No bf/gf definitions, but we’re not dating anyone else. …

I don't have ADHD or anxiety/mental health issues, but I do have a busy life and am very organized/planning oriented and am completely on your boyfriend's side here. He told you he didn't want to get …

I'm an ADHD male. I'll be the first to admit we are difficult to date, how his brain works sounds like how my brain works. It's more so that if he had planned to do chores today, changing that plan …

>He is very easy going until he isn’t Couldn't this also be said about you? You couldn't take no for an answer and kept trying to change his mind. >This morning, I wanted to get coffee together af…

As an adhd woman surrounded by adhd people in my family, this encounter makes sense. I would approach it as a difference of expectations, not compatible. You had an expectation of coffee in the mornin…

I think this seems like it could be one of those conflicts that brings you closer as you learn more about each other. The way you both communicated afterwards seems healthy and empathetic, which is …

It depends on a person. The only things that changed after I moved together with my ex was frequency of sex (but we both were ok with that). We still were affectionate with each other, cuddles every d…

welp I lived with my best friend after uni and yep, ruined our relationship. on the flip side, I moved in with two strangers two years ago and one of them has become one of my closest friends now, so …

Obviously not everyone is the same, but I'm very similar to you on paper (though I'm a man) and I absolutely won't settle again. I settled and got married and it ended with us becoming roommates, exce…

OP, this sucks. I'm always reminded of the Nick Offerman joke in his standup about making cards for Megan Mullally [https://youtu.be/PJ-NSnhCVcM?t=256](https://youtu.be/PJ-NSnhCVcM?t=256) Writing a …

I mean, sometimes it takes a while for relationships to happen. I'm 33, my last Long-Term Relationship ended right before I turned 28. He and I were together for 4 years. Before that I was with someon…

Interesting. I've been thinking about joining an improv class for ages now... but given how I was overwhelmed by anxiety, grabbed my stuff and fled at the onset of the get-to-know-game the last time I…

I have only ever dated one person who did the “good morning” texts. I don’t think they’re important to receive. You should let her know you don’t care for them, if you haven’t yet. If it feels like a …

Yes.  Pretty much a thing for everyone.  Everyone I know that got married in their 30s was “good enough.”  I know a handful of couples that have the butterflies and ass slapping through kids and throu…

This may sound weird, but does anyone else find that their poor time management skills makes dating super stressful. So, I’m well aware that many tasks take me longer than the average person, so I t…

Totally relate to things taking longer for me. Sounds like you could play with some mindset shifts to help make dating less of a chore and bring some joy back in? It's one thing to have boundaries but…

Hi I previously recommended these to someone so will copy and paste it here Book on understanding and healing trauma : 📚The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma…

When I (31m) deleted my OLD apps in late December for a much needed mental health break, I struggled a tiny bit with the transition from a busy, active dating life back to being single. One thing I wa…

This was my question. And also, were the sweatpants and sweater a matching set? There is a difference between a really high quality set and what you wear to do chores. I'd wear athlesuire if we were g…

Helllll nah! I’ve made that mistake before a couple times in my 20s and it’s always a shitshow, lmao. Especially if there are kids involved! The last time I had this happen, I moved to a new city and…

Omg the “cHoRe cHaaaRt” absolutely SENT ME 😂😂😂😂

I really think this is up to the individual and their feelings about dating someone who isn’t divorced yet. I dated my ex for a while before she filed for divorce — we may have even been living togeth…

This was my philosophy then men who were more inquisitive started calling me out.  Because in casual conversation most people mentioned their families. Stories on their favorite holiday traditions or…

McKenna describes going without sleep for weeks @ la chorerra in True Hallucinations. & I’ve experienced it myself for shorter intervals. Has something to do I think w the reconciliation of the intern…

At a high level, I would say that cooking is just like any other chore that needs to be done. And adulting requires doing chores. But I think that chores should be shared and that its perfectly fin…

Reddit is always quick to say leave but the fact that he doesn’t do this every day and is otherwise a good husband/parent makes me think this is salvageable. A few thoughts: - If you truly care abo…

I teach adults and teens to create a line of energy from the bottom of their first chakra to the chakras at the center of the planet. This is powerful and solves a lot of energy problems. Whatever s…

It could be alright if he was trying to include her in his session and help her, instead of treating her like she was a chore he had to do.

I happened upon Massimo Pigliucci's *How To Be a Stoic* and was immediately enthralled! Next I read through Epictetus' *Discourses* and *Handbook*, and that really solidified by belief in Stoicism. …

I'm in a similar situation right now minus the kids. My husband is a good man, and we've only been married 2 years, together for 6 1/2 almost 7, but I'm not as happy as I thought I would be. I thought…

> Let me guess, some dude playing video games expecting their wife to cook, clean, and take care of the littles. They finally got tired of your crap and left. You are literally on a post where the h…

I'd speak to your brother and tell him plainly and kindly, that your 'lack' of enthusiasm doesn’t have anything to do with him. Explain most of what you did here, that you may not seem as excited as p…

It feels like there's no winning here. I (37m) was just let go by the woman (33f) I was seeing. First date happened at the end of January then the second date two weeks later, and then for the next …

My main hobbies that get me out of the house are going to concerts and playing D&D, but those don't happen every week and even if they do its not always on the same day so I normally have bit more of …

I consider myself to be rather introverted, although these days maybe "Ambivert" is more accurate. My alone time is very recharging and if left unchecked I can basically hang out at home by myself ind…

Monday- Friday is mostly work. Up by 6, at work by 7, finish by 6. Once a week I usually have to work till 9. On days when I get to go home at 6, I'll occasionally have to go on a shopping run which m…