criticism

I feel overwhelmed and lost and I think being the only and eldest daughter plays a role — I am 25 years old and the eldest and only daughter with four younger brothers. After spending the last few days with my family, I feel completely unimportant, like I don’t matter. Growing up, I was al…

Is Getting Ripped Apart Normal in Product Design? — I’m new to product design, and at this startup, I wear both the product designer and product manager hats. I meet regularly with the CEO (my boss), and during our sessions, we review the website and r…

Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…

E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…

This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…

No one should suffer because we have trauma. — I see a lot of people accept harmful behavior, because their partner has past trauma, but in my opinion, that is wrong. I know I can come off as harsh sometimes, but we have to have honest conversatio…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…

Can a FA-DA relationship work? — My partners have been dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant, so I have always leaned anxious ig. In my last relationship, I felt secure at the start, it was nice, we set boundaries.. till it happene…

Should I meet up with my ex? — Back in November 2024, I went on a couple of dates with a guy from my friend group, “Frank” (41M now). Looking back, it’s obvious to me that he was a rebound, but I genuinely didn’t realize it at the …

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

Healing from perfectionism taught me that I’m not superhuman — I’m just a regular person and everyone else is just as ordinary as me. Sure, we all have our quirks and differences but you’re never the only one with them or unique. I am not loved based on my achie…

Hi — All I can say is I’m sorry. I regret how I handled. Back then I wasn’t ready to give it another chance. I disappeared and distracted myself instead of facing it. I didn’t think at all that we could be…

Genuinely you can’t tell them any of your problems/anything you did wrong — No matter what, they’ll make it your fault. Any discussion turns into a nasty, criticism-filled lecture about how you’re doing something wrong. It could be literally anything - your house could get br…

How do you take your power back or create it? — I had all the time this passive role in determining my reality .things are happening to me rather than me choosing them.This victim mentality but stemmin from feeling powerless and defenseless. I know…

How can I build a personal life that doesn’t depend on other people? — Hi Reddit!! I really need an outside perspective on my situation, because I feel like I’m completely lost in where I’m going and what I actually want from my life… Maybe people who have learned to man…

The one trait that predicts narcissism more reliably than anything else — I spent years trying to figure out why some people drain everything around them while others don't. After a lot of research and painful personal experience, I found one principle that predicts it more…

I (36M) am in tears in my own home while my parents play with my daughter. — My wife has gone away for a conference today (for the first time since we had a kid). I am alone with my parents in my own home and feel so unsafe with them. At any time, I fear an attack will come my…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

I think I’m a female narcissist and it’s ruining my relationship — I’m a 29 year old female and I think I’m a covert narcissist. It’s ruining my relationship with my partner, a 28 year old male. I constantly feel overly sensitive to criticism, have the “victim mental…

Have any of your parents criticized you for adopting "western" habits? — Pretty broad question; however, as someone who has lived in America for a while now, some of the behaviors that I have adopted are that I no longer leave food out on the table after cooking, no longer…

Question of virtue ethics: Proper Ambition, the golden mean between ambition and unambitiousness. — I like to identify through my actions as a stoic, and recently read an interesting quote that I would like to provide in hopes of assessing the opinions of like-minded people. I'm not sure who origina…

26[M] and my 23[F] me and her just recently cut things off. — Things were going really good in the beginning, she was sweet and nice but I realized she was a very different and strange. Like maturity wise, she had so many issues she was very controlling when I’d…

Once again persist! — Guys when I tell y’all everything always works out for me I truly mean that shit!, so in case you’re not familiar I’m (17f) I have been manifesting for almost three years i graduated early at 15 and w…

Family crisis has made me realize how deeply my mother’s criticism still affects me — how do I handle this? — We have been going through a major family crisis right now and it has brought up a lot of old pain in my relationship with my mother. For some background, my brother has severe addiction issues and i…

Dad CONSTANTLY bashes me for being with an Asian guy — To preface, I’m in college and I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost six years now since early high school. My parents have been divorced for twenty years and my mom is very supportive of me (as a bi…

I think I need to leave my marriage — I’ve been going back and forth on whether to post this, but I need to get it out somewhere. I think my marriage is over. There wasn’t one major event that caused it. No cheating. No physical abuse. …

I’m so tired of feeling guilty — I’m tired of being the villain all the time. How is it they can belittle me, speak to and treat me like crap, make fun of my interests and then tell me I’m too sensitive, yet when I give them any of i…

It’s taken so long.. — I’ve finally had a deep realization about my breakup and it has helped me process a lot of lingering feelings. For the longest time, I blamed the other person for everything, imagining that they disca…

The moment when everything clicked after the discard. Does this pattern strongly point to NPD? — Hey everyone. After a recent brutal and totally blindsiding discard by someone who I thought loved me, Im trying to understand what I experienced (almost 1 year relationship and attempt at reconnectio…

I just watched a video on how ADHD makes us prime targets for abusive/narcissistic behavior, and I feel so defeated. — Hey everyone, I’m writing this because I really need to vent and see if anyone else here with CPTSD and ADHD has experienced this. I just finished watching a video by a creator named Danish Bashir a…

HELP ME UNDERSTAND — Hi everyone, I've been reading a lot about the subject and i'm also in therapy since 3 months. I'm already non in the relationship with this woman but i sort of need to make clarity and hear other…

I [33F], am tired of being the family mediator for my [50+] parents, and my youngest sibling [18] — As the eldest daughter, I’ve always been used to being the mediator for my nuclear family whenever there’s been an argument, a discussion, etc. Now as an adult who’s in therapy and working on boundari…

"When trust is lost, traumatized people feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living." — "The sense of safety in the world, or basic trust, is acquired in earliest life in the relationship with the first caretaker. Originating with life itself, this sense of trust sustains a person throug…

Question about specific parts of some methods… — Attempting to shift for about four months and I’ve had one definite shift (albeit short lived) in that time… The thing is, I’m having a difficult time with a method that seems like it would work. I…

Practicing conversations when I am anxious. — Supervisors have always made me anxious. The power they hold over you is kinda nerve wracking to me. I've never had many issues, never been fired from a job. But I'm at the point if I know I have to t…

Trump’s attempt to limit birthright citizenship is taking us back to the 1800s — Wong Kim Ark’s fight for citizenship is before the Supreme Court again. Opening arguments started on Wednesday in a Supreme Court case over President Donald Trump’s attempt to restrict birthright cit…

My father disabled me — TLDR: my father broke my bone, ring finger, for the sake of his ego. I refuse to accept his apology. ADVICE WANTED I (22m) have had a long history with my father abusing and violating me and then h…

The version of me she knew deserved to lose her. — Today is her birthday. It’s bringing up all kinds of feelings. I honestly feel sick today. I feel like I have only recently been able to truly reflect on things, and I’m finally facing who I was and w…

I’ve put down my thoughts as to the reasons why I (m53) want to ask my wife (f52) for a divorce. — We’ve been married for 23 years. We’ve got 3 kids: 22, 19 and 12. We own our home, halfway through a 30 yr mortgage, with a low apr. Wife was majority earner, but recently lost her job. I’m inte…

Child’s perspective — I do not intend to offend anyone with these words. But i think most of us can relate to this. The upbringing of a child involves many sacrifices. Sleepless nights, financial burdens, and much more. N…

Feeling a bit conflicted after seeing so much criticism of Neville Goddard and the Law of Assumption — English isn't my first language, so please bear with me if my sentences aren't perfect. ​I first came across Neville Goddard and the Law of Assumption about five months ago. I’ve read a couple of his…

Maybe I’m just too sensitive — I was always told I took things too personally and was too sensitive as a kid. I could not take criticism (even constructive) and got easily hurt by what others said or did. maybe that’s why I’m like …

I'm just tied and fed-up of my narcissistic and emotionally immature mom — *Hi, I'm 35F who likes to stay with my parents sometimes to help out with their chores and other day-to-day stuff as they're old, and technologically-handicapped. But I don't look forward to staying w…

From when I was younger, my mother ruined my life and turned my into an ungrateful bastard. — ​ the peak of everything is my mother, where she has always been the one trying to hold everything together, (and didnt accomplish. So, its all her fault.) She works at a shoe store. From whe…

Just tired of my mom's bullshit — Hi, I'm 35F who likes to stay with my parents sometimes to help out with their chores and other day-to-day stuff as they're old, and technologically-handicapped. But I don't look forward to staying wi…

I (F19) am exploring university choices, and my boyfriend (M31) proposed moving in together? — Hey, so me (19F) and my boyfriend (31M) met each other in summer 2025 and got into a relationship shortly after. He had to leave to his country a month later, though, as he was staying in mine for wor…

I’m re-explaining my situation after everyone on this subreddit said I was the shittiest person alive — Hi everyone I know this is super long but please read all of it. So yesterday I posted this: “I need honest opinions because I’m really conflicted and don’t know if I crossed a line or if this break…

> Everyone coming here from the other subs is blessed to have finally sought a break from the emotional self-harm that seems to be at the core of the methodology in these other groups... which I took …

Nobody here disparages Neville (except where he deserves it - he is good speaker but a poor teacher) and pits one against the other. And Nevilles works are cited here eve in the index and sidebar. …

Respectfully, this is what happens when you only focus on material aspects and totally disregard the "spiritual woo woo." I'm not saying everyone ever needs to be enlightened, but there's a reason why…

Absolutely wrong name for that sub. I read a few random posts with comments and what do we have here: affirmations, sublimals, self-love and mental diet.  So they are not criticizing Neville's teach…

Sure. Just edit out all criticisms of the loapornstars and their lies and propagandist tactics. Also any criticisms of the loa communities and their idiot members. We're all painfully familiar with …

OP, I'm a much more casual member of this sub but wanted to say it's good you posted this here, even if you catch flak for it. Ultimately, the necessity to rebut your arguments will either require t…

I am in a similar position to you OP. I've been seeing my fiancée for over 2 years. We live separately due to circumstances at her end, and we see each other roughly once a week, usually at weekends…

as a person who found out in therapy that I have a black or white mentality and with excessive self-criticism this is extremely helpful

Thanks! Crazy how we are conditioned to think this anxiety and nervousness as genuine attraction and love. I've calmed down since then and getting to know this person with clear mind. Yes, the wrong…

I've noticed they just really hate criticism. They get very defensive.

Not me but over the years my DA ex has been hurt by: - criticism (and getting defensive after) - not meeting his own expectations and feeling like a failure

- criticism, being called out - playing on their individual insecurities, but that’s literally anyone in the world. A lot of the times is them getting discarded the same way they would do to someone …

According to the science, DAs are triggered/hurt by criticism, conflict and closeness. My DA ex also expressed feelings of guilt when he would hurt me. He would actually say “I’m sorry you feel hurt b…

DAs are already very self-critical. Most criticism we receive from others, we’re already aware of and have gone to great lengths to conceal and/or correct said issue. Even if said criticism is somethi…

The slightest amount of criticism. I wouldn't recommend it.

In my experience with DAs it's hard to have empathy for the ones who make themselves victims in every situation; especially those who take everything as a criticism or judgement against themselves.

Exactly - it’s not like we are never going to see their criticisms and stories, it is constantly all over the place. Can’t miss it! Let us have our space! They clutch their pearls when they find out w…

Sorry, if one is attached - and the other isn’t - is it really a friendship? ( I’m asking actually - no criticism )  Is he ( I’ m assuming it’s a “he”) only friends with the goal to get together?

It's easier if instead on focusing on what they're doing wrong and what you don't like you focus on what you're willing to invest and describing an alternative that would be acceptable for you both. T…

I hear you. And appreciate what you're saying. Thing is, DA's have a bad habit of ignoring an expressed need from a partner or hearing it as "neediness" or clinginess. Expressing a need can be seen …

And my narrative is “all insecure styles have their issues and do not hyper focus on DAs when all insecures are not good partners” that’s the entire fucking point but y’all, YOU, wanna comment to me m…

Arrogance usually is. And the emotional openness in anxious attachment is (generally) just emotional *unavailability* masquerading as honesty. So being proud of that points to a lack of self-awarenes…

What I would say is that you should decide if you can deal with this long term. In my case, this is the second time we've had an explosive fight like this, where he goes into a full on defensive spi…

I actually feel that I'm only slightly anxious leaning and relatively secure but I got triggered more when he was avoidant and I think a secure person would have a very hard time staying secure. I thi…

Right, and then if you do say “it’s fine, that’s not true, we can work it out” and then every time you ask for anything in a relationship they do heinous stuff or pull away and then pull out the “well…

Learning this after holding onto the thought of a reunion with a DA for the last 3 weeks (she broke up with me). I read similar Reddit and YouTube replies but I wanted the honeymoon phase back and tho…

Thank you for prioritizing those that need it most. I totally understand there to be doubt and criticism, but these spaces should also be fulfilling and uplifting. As a new member, it feels very muc…

Your contribution was removed for breaking the rule: No Generalization, Criticism or Hatred of others be it, gender or attachment styles.

I don't think there's a "circle jerk" in the avoidant attachment sub. I've read and genuinely benefitted from seeing how the group helps each other comprehend their reactions and attempt from a place …

I would like to share my story too. An FA myself, I got into a relationship 4 years ago, and that too with an anxious type. I got highly triggered by her needy behaviour and fear of abanoment. She wou…

Do you realize that outbursts of anger and criticism are abusive behavior? That's exactly how I abused my exes and I have an NPD diagnosis. You need IFS/EMDR therapy ASAP if you want to stop. Not deac…

I'm glad you recognized the bias for yourself. It's so noticeable as an avoidant, as I carry many scars from APs (not demonizing all of them, just obviously insecure attachment is a two sided coin.) S…

This is not a criticism of Neville. Neville and Jm were two sides of the same LOB coin and both have benefitted the world immensely. However we know next to nothing of their real lives and these snipp…

Do you find you hold your genuine complaints in to yourself and then explode after it has built up and something triggers it? Or do you think you find things to justify feeling how you feel that might…

Do you feel that the criticisms you have of them when wanting to devalue on reflection are genuine and truly how you feel? Or is it an exaggeration or even projection of something else?

I actually did that in our most recent argument which triggered his abandonment wounds hard-core and he completely ripped into me with about 11 paragraphs of why I was a terrible person and why he exp…

I recently became single due to my anxious attachment which I was aware of but didn't understand how unhealed I was. I was in a relationship since January and things took a turn around August which I…

I feel really conflicted about this post. Enough to come back to it days later. On the one hand, everyone is entitled to their own boundaries and enforcing your own boundaries is empowering and health…

My mom used to do the narration thing when I lived with my parents. It's so hard to coherently describe *why* it feels so bad when all they're really doing is just narrating out loud what you're doing…

For real, it's like a never ending doctor's exam. Constant poking, prodding, and analysis that doesn't go anywhere and yet they think you're the odd one if you get irritated lmfao. >It feels like a c…

Thank you for sharing. Are you doing therapy? I highly recommend working with a therapist so that you can explore these issues over time with a trained professional. It helps to have a friend / ally o…

Thank you for your message. I’ve only recently started therapy but I think it’ll be a while till we address the relationship. A part of me knew it wasn’t entirely ok but there is a substantial amount …

Yeah, my older brother was autistic with many extra issues and was incredibly aggressive towards me. I was a smaller girl and could not defend myself but nobody cared. He was the center of the world, …

Your contribution was removed for breaking the rule: No Generalization, Criticism or Hatred of others be it, gender or attachment styles.

Cool. Don't accept any form of criticism and stay single until every box is checked. It took 20 years with no luck, I'm sure the next 40 will be different. I'm also going to probably die at 50 due …

Your contribution was removed for breaking the rule: No Generalization, Criticism or Hatred of others be it, gender or attachment styles.

Of course. My current partner is anxious. Sometimes during conflict he argues from emotion, exaggerates, and his characterization of me is awful.  I tend to be careful not to escalate issues and try…

Neither is to blame. They both carry fear in intimate relationships because of the previous caregiver relationships. But you are right, DA and FA co-create a runner / chaser dynamic. The FA takes most…

Your contribution was removed for breaking the rule: No Generalization, Criticism or Hatred of others be it, gender or attachment styles.

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