book
be polite
Evidence
Citations (60)
Do you end or cancel dates early? — 42F here. I was married at 20, divorced at 37, so I never did the dating scene when I was younger, much less OLD. I started OLD after the divorce, had a couple bf's, taken breaks, re-learning what I w…
Beginner Questions — If you're new to web design and would like to ask experienced and professional web designers a question, please post below. Before asking, please follow the etiquette below and [review our FAQ](https:…
Beginner Questions — If you're new to web design and would like to ask experienced and professional web designers a question, please post below. Before asking, please follow the etiquette below and [review our FAQ](https:…
Beginner Questions — If you're new to web design and would like to ask experienced and professional web designers a question, please post below. Before asking, please follow the etiquette below and [review our FAQ](https:…
Does anyone else go through phrases where they feel cynical about people easily? — I kinda feel like I’m in one of those now. I'm a DA. It usually happens if I feel like I’m trying to make plans with people, but they’re not responding or declining. Usually I’m okay with it, but when…
My (42F) boyfriend (55M) upset he wasn’t given cake — I (42F) have been dating my boyfriend (55M) for about a year and a half. I’m a single mom, so my time is split 50% with kids, and 50% with him. My kids (two - tween ages) have had a hard time except…
14 year old russian yay — hello! I'm 14, live in Russia (i hate it here honestly) Im also gay, which only makes the matters worse. so... My dad is an alcohol addict my whole life, also, my mom told me he started drinki…
help — Hi, I’m a 30-year-old woman with no serious relationship experience, and I’m currently being friend-zoned by a friend 36M. At first, we went out three times as friends, and I didn’t want anything mor…
Meeting an online friend who confessed feelings- how to handle gifts? — I’m 20F and I’m meeting an online friend, 23M, in person for the first time. We’ve known each other online for about one week. The situation is a little tricky. He has already confessed that he likes…
How do I manifest getting spoiled by my partner? — I already manifested him being all over me and a stable relationship but the only thing that bothers me is that he doesn’t do anything for me like buy anything for me or surprise me. We are currently …
This is called “hoovering”, it’s a known technique for toxic individuals. They’re saying whatever they think will suck you back in to the scenario. Note the expansive, emotive but oddly totally no…
Boundaries are the lines between us and other people. They're the rules we set for ourselves to protect our wellbeing and ensure we are acting in accordance with our values and beliefs. Sort of like …
> "how bout this...[describes totally logical plan]" I love it when they word it as an option just to be polite but they know we're gonna be like "Oh wow okay, yes."
There's a certain level of emotional independence two parties need to reach before they can form a healthy relationship with each other. Avoidants tend to have too much emotional independence to the…
I don't think he's a threat in that way, but I don't want him creating drama, especially around my boyfriend. Early in my relationship with my bf we ran into another guy I went on *three* dates with. …
My boyfriend and I had a pause moment last night on the phone because we have a difference in worldviews - now that's a legitimate concern, and in response I made sure we just got off the phone. But o…
Yes, these are likes and not matches. I prefer to pause my profile and then I can work through the likes (you have to pay for this option though). But as I said I’m not really getting anywhere as the …
Yeah no communication for days is crap, like come on it doesn’t take that much time or effort to be polite. Sometimes I swear being patient and understanding is a curse, and some people use that as li…
Block them before that happens. I used to try and be polite when ending a match while on an app, but now I block immediately. If I’ve met them already, then yeah a short discussion might be warranted.…
It sounds like he's being considerate and an active planner, and you're way overthinking it. If you want to take more responsibility with planning then take it. If you don't want him to hold open door…
This is so wonderfully put! “I never want to live with the consequences of someone else’s choices” is now the definition of the way I’m running my life. We will all make mistakes, but it’s better to m…
The fact that he's verbally interacting with his intrusive thoughts *is* scary. Don't stick around to be polite or "supportive", insist on information, insist of knowing his diagnosis **and** how he…
Id be polite and say the same back
They don't ask about how you're doing. Or, they do just to be polite, but don't give you an answer, or ignore you when you talk about some difficult stuff going on (like poverty, health issues...) A…
I think sometimes a conversation can be polite but be largely small talk and you can still get the sense that someone is going to be fun in person. I matched with a girl and we only chatted a little e…
Sex gets more mental for guys as they get older. They need to feel a connection and be comfortable. Combine that with performance anxiety of being with a new partner after a LTR of 20+ yrs or so and…
I actually just experienced my very own big test - with a roommate and now former-friend. Over many months now, she’s reacted with more and more hostility because I had started to call out her verbal…
Yeah, I get what you mean. Like I had mentioned, it could be a form of service. I think there are souls that have a hard time transitioning from life to death, and certain places exist to help them c…
Go to the game and do it for your daughter. In every divorce where there are kids, you eventually meet the person that took the role you once occupied. Don’t think of her as AP (I understand why you…
no don’t “be polite” and go - it’s a waste of both your time and effort. I would just gently tell her you’re not into it anymore, and if she presses just say something about not feeling an emotional c…
My guess is he's trying to be polite in a language that isn't his native tongue.
Most DAs don’t recognize deactivation while it’s happening, especially if they’ve never engaged with attachment theory. From the inside it doesn’t feel like pulling away. It feels like suddenly notici…
It’s a miserable outcome. I’ve had similar things happen and it leaves me wondering why people can’t just be honest. I try not to propose a second date at the end of the first date anymore. And when I…
Assuming you are dating to find a long term relationship, I think you are doing everything right here. I would feel exactly the same way, someone can tick the boxes on paper but if they spend the who…
I am with you! It is kinda weird now. We are the same age! I think for our age group, we chat up people. (Hello Mr. Rogers and the people in your neighborhood) But I think the younger men kinda only …
Friend, this is a really unsafe position to be in. Do you have a support network? Do you have family/friends you can reach out to? I think in unsafe situations, it’s okay to break up via text. You c…
I hate being a late bloomer. I really thought this would be easy once I lost weight, etc. okay great, I’m attractive now! But I’m so behind in dating that I can’t even tell when a guy is actually in…
I have exactly called it feeling like I'm being treated like a weird accessory! It's so creepy and icky feeling, I hate it. I find a lot of empowerment from telling myself she loves Daughter and then …
Yup. Over a year ago I weighed 309 lbs. I was pretty much invisible and people never felt like they needed to be polite to me. I'm still heavy, but I lost over 100 lbs and people are polite again.
We get it is imperfect. We did ponder "excuse me" but it was clunkier and also doesn't solve the issue you point out. The English language is really like the languages in a trenchcoat so we all do the…
I dumped one of my exs for this reason alone. He literally told me guys stare at me to much I want you to dress more holier. I said nope jeans and a t shirt are fine, if other guys think I’m pretty or…
I think bad things happen when we believe what might be polite lies. It might be bad timing, but it also might just be you. Someone can be a close friend, perfect on paper, and just not feel like a ro…
>My question is, in cases where you KNOW the date isn't what you want, do you end it early or just "be polite" I don't think it's polite to him to keep going on a date where neither of you is having …
Say it!! If he's not single, he will likely be polite and kind, and you put yourself out there! If he IS, maybe he doesn't want to make the first move, either. Dudes like it when you make the first mo…
I was pulled from school at 5 to.be "homeschooled". She never homeschooled us. My parents were in an abusive relationship. One time when I was 4 I was so stressed from the DV and neglect I would cry a…
It's not a pleasant way to function, but I have managed to find one state that people like me Basically, it means putting on a happy, excited face 24/7 and acting like you're the main character in a …
Wait, wtf! I seriously wrote about this very recently on my sb. Hope this resonates with you! *Love your hair up*, I told her, like it was just a normal observation. Which it was. New office, new sea…
OK, so I can only answer this with my experience of being on the other end of this, when the other person thought it went great and I didn't, so bear in mind that it's only my particular experience I …
All these people saying you shouldn't approach women are just sabotaging you. Do you know how often men approach women in NYC? All. The. Time. Go up slowly, be polite, don't death stare her, say hi, g…
We’re grown ups. As a general rule, we should always be polite unless someone gives us a reason not to be polite. It’s better to say something before unmatching. Since we’re all grown ups, why don’t…
I agree with this, Whatever reason you've decided to move on is not for the other person to validate, just be polite and leave it at "it's just not a match".
This has nothing to do with your story and I’m so sorry your parents were shitlords. The miracle whip reminded me of a story with my own mother. When I was in grade 4 we got an assignment to make a…
Fawning and oversharing with others, which has gotten me into trouble in the past. From about grade 7 onwards my Nmother would make me stand in front of her and I report about my day at school so she …
Yeah people don't just do that and leave the door open accidentally. Most people close the door and do private stuff privately. Leaving the door open and being loud is deliberate sexual harassment. Th…
Came here to say if I’m the kind of person thorough enough to do a background check and reverse engineer to find your full name from your business website, I am not falling for google’s suggestion “Di…
Definitely. I'd still be polite about it, but bail whenever you want even if they didn't lie on their profile.
I have definitely been too nice and just stayed to be polite, but it’s a waste of time for both of you. One drove four hours for the first date, but she looked nothing like her pictures, like we’re no…
Yes, above all, be polite. "I am sorry you are a lying weasel."
LOL. Love it. Quote: Yes, above all, be polite. "I am sorry you are a lying weasel."
Fellow DC woman here. Yep, just leave. A state or even a few counties to the south, I would feel a stronger expectation to stay and at least be polite (although I'm northeastern born and bred, so I wo…