Explaining

Cure Avoidant Attachment by Watching TV — Can watching TV help treat a dismissing attachment pattern? In Dr. Dan Siegel’s book "Mindsight,” he presents a case study involving Stuart, a 92-year-old attorney with dismissing attachment. Stuart,…

Inappropriate Design Task — I recently did well in an interview and have been given the most wild design task to date that I was made to feel stupid for pushing back on and would like some opinions. I was presented with a 9 pag…

What is your social media content creation workflow? — Im running an ecom business with 700k plus revenue. Ive never did much on social media or video content creation. There is a lot of value in creating explainer videos for potential and existing custom…

Things to do with my non technical cofounder "i will not promote" — Hi all i will not promote So i have a startup / side business im working on, I bought a friend in as a cofounder as he's generally useful in going out making connections, someone to help with site …

Devops not using Docker (or Podman), what does your stack look like? — Edit: I have nothing against containers, I'm looking for another containerization solution / ecosystem. I hate docker with all my soul. While writing it, I'm 100% aware that "hate" is a feeling and n…

E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…

This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…

We all have this problem, what's your solution? (i will not promote) — I'll cut straight to the chase, do you **focus your marketing on**: 1. **The benefits of your product** (which other solutions similarly provide) 2. **The novel way those benefits are delivered** (wh…

Need feedback for my new one. — Hey y'all, so I am trying to build a Micro SaaS for generating high-converting ad creatives/posts for platforms such as FB, Instagram, etc. The app uses OpenAI's latest image generation model and n8n …

The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…

Mostly healed, but I can’t stop walking on eggshells before I trust a new date (anxious-ambivalent) — Edit: I’m single but I’ve dated guys online. I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good un…

Is it just me or is "date secure people" a bad idea? — To be specific, people who were born into families that fostered secure attachment. Not earned secures. I think the latter is exactly what I need but there's no stat on how much of the population is e…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

RULES: PLEASE READ — *POST REMOVAL: Understand that all posts are instantly removed into a queue to await mod approval. Please allow 24 hours, though usually it is much less. Your post will either be approved, or you will…

Why is the shifting community like this? It genuinely confuses me. — I have always thought this while being in the shifting community, there are so many people out there who share shifting knowledge, the methods, the ways to shift etc etc, and a lot of these people sha…

„Did you forgive them yet?“ — I stood my ground and said NO. — I opened up about my abuse to a 'spiritual friend'. His first question was: „Have you managed to forgive them yet?“ I said NO. And it's NOT my duty to forgive. He said „But forgiveness causes healin…

How do you stop overthinking and care less about things that don’t matter? — Hello, How do you learn to give fewer fucks about things that shouldn’t matter? I used to think I was the kind of person who could brush things off pretty easily, but lately I’ve been overthinking a…

Want to hurt a covert narcissist? Tell people the truth (but be smart about it) — **DISCLAIMER:** Only do this if you are physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically separated and safe from a narcissist. The following will probably not be applicable if you have to mai…

Are u an abductee brought to the earth? — Had anyone felt that uve been abducted and brought to planet earth? Wouldnt this explain why so mqny of us dont feel at home There is also a guy on yt explaining scientifically why humans dont bel…

AM silent treatment is HELL — For context- two days ago AM asked me (19F) and my sister (17F) why our cousin and our close friends are scared or intimidated by her. We started making fun of her for the things she used to do or say…

Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…

The Exhaustion of Being Someone — Most people think they are tired because life is hard. But there is another kind of exhaustion that sleep does not fix. It comes from maintaining a self. All day we manage an image: explaining ours…

6 month mark, can't progress further right now, but pausing feels shitty too. Leave? — In September, I cautiously decided to start seeing the father of my daughter's best friend. It's been really great, and has helped me work through a lot of emotional stuff including heavy grief. Aft…

My husband (29M) and I (29F) have a dead bedroom because he says I dont initiate — My husband (29m) and I (29f) have been together for 8 years, married for 1. For the past 3 months we went from a very active sex life to a dead bedroom out of the blue. Every other aspect of our relat…

Looking to hear from people who have both: Panic vs asthma attack — I have a history of OCD & GAD. I’ve been in a health anxiety spiral the last few months and have moments where I feel I can’t breathe. Test said mild asthma. So, anyone who has both, can you tell me w…

I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…

Contact Experiencer Jason Sands cited in online Newsweek posting concerning the disappearance of General Neil McCasland. — Newsweek News Article **Missing Air Force General Update: Gun Missing, Sweater Found** PUBLISHED MAR 13, 2026 AT 11:23 AM EDT  Online Newsweek coverage of General McCasland’s disappearance quotes …

I (26F) told my boyfriend (26M) I sometimes miss the freedom of being single and he broke up with me on my birthday — I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about 2.5 years. A couple nights ago we were lying down together and having a really open conversation about different things going on in our lives. The …

Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…

Wife (26F) scheduled cosmetic procedures we agreed we wouldn’t do before marriage, using money from our joint account. I’m (28M) struggling with the trust breach. — I’m 28 and my wife is 26. We’ve been married for 4 years and we have a 1-year-old child together. Before we got married, we had a lot of conversations about values and expectations for the future. On…

UPDATE: How do I (28M) tell my girlfriend (28F) a prenup and keeping my inherited house separate are non-negotiable? — TL;DR: I had the conversation. She brought up moving in first. She completely agrees the house and inheritance should stay separate, supports a prenup, was impressed I’d thought it through, and confus…

A couple great tips for easier Revision. — Revision is an extremely important yet underrated technique. After going through an event that "future" manifesting just wouldn't solve, I knew the only thing that would fix this situation is to chang…

Ex-wife is adamantly opposed to me introducing anyone to the kids ever. Any advice? — My ex and I have been divorced for almost five years. In that time I’ve dated casually, but never seriously enough to introduce anyone to my kids. For the past year, though, I’ve been in a committed r…

Struggling with Chinese In Laws — Hi everyone, I’m looking for some perspective or advice because I feel pretty overwhelmed. I recently moved to China with my husband (he’s Chinese), and we’ve only been here for about a month. His pa…

Super Neat! — I found out about the Gateway Tapes/Monroe about 3 weeks ago. I have read most of the links and information on this sub reddit, watched some of the Youtube videos and started listening to the audio b…

How would you explain to a codependent person what a healthy relationship actually feels like? — I am a recovering codependent. I am in a relationship with someone who is incredibly codependent. I‘ve tried explaining codependency to him in various ways but he seems to view it as an accusation, a …

How I slowly got my mental clarity back after months of brain fog — A few months ago my mind suddenly didn’t feel like itself anymore. I was rereading sentences, forgetting simple words, and struggling to concentrate. What confused me most was that everything medicall…

Am I (26f) throwing away my relationship with my (30m) boyfriend? — ​ I 26/F have been with my BF 30/M for almost 4 years (june). I have been unhappy for at least 2 of these years. we have talked it out multiple times, he usually cries and becomes very upset w…

Has anyone ever changed their entire selves/view on life? — I (40f) have been struggling with selfishness my whole life. My husband left me and asked for a divorce but more recently agreed to a trial separation. One thing he brought up today was that I never s…

I got into medical school but my mother is still ashamed. — I (24f, Filipino) recently got accepted to medical school away from home. For context, I had a conditional acceptance for my local medical school that did not work out in the end. After 3 cycles and 4…

Stoicism and advice regarding isolation? — Because of life situations outside of my control, I have dealt with a lot of grief and pain regarding all relationships. I am essentially alone and after the grief and pain of betrayal and abandonment…

Wish it had gone different — A few months ago I put myself out there after ending a very long marriage. Messaged with a guy a few years older, it turned sexual pretty quick. I hadn’t had anyone make me feel wanted, nor had I been…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

Art and study of the Gateway tapes and general connection to the Universe (with my own experimentation) — \- I WILL BE UPDATING THIS POST EVERYDAY. LINKS WILL BE AT THE BOTTOM OF POST WITH LOG NUMBERS AND DATES - 🌠 Log. 00 \[Tuesday, March 24th, 2026\] So far, I’ve been repeating the same first 3 tape…

I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …

The Attachment Loop — Hi, not sure where best to post this so I’ll try here. TL;DR – I am stuck in a 10 year pattern of getting emotionally attached to women who are unavailable in some way, and I really want this last si…

Ended up manifesting a ladder moment as I was responding to a ladder experiment post here! — Less than 24 hours ago, I had responded to a post about the [Ladder Experiment here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NevilleGoddard/comments/1s5ii7d/conflicting_goddard_teachings/ocwwx5b/). I was explaining …

My full story 2 weeks since DDay 4 days NC — (Cheater fiancée 26f) (me 26m) (AP 46m) So it all started about 4 to 6 months ago I noticed that her drinking had become a concern she was showing up drunk after work very frequently and it was both…

I had a weird experience today during meditation — Well as the title suggested, I experience a sudden warmth charge spike up from the base of my pelvis area up through into my heart and as i embrace it it shot up to my brain and idk but my eyes just n…

Wow, thank you for explaining this.

Regardless of what it was, it was a non-physical experience. There can be lines blurred between what is lucid dreaming and astral projection, here's a video explaining the difference https://youtu.be/…

Thank you so much for explaining! One more thing if you don't mind, what's the best method to leave the physical body? I tried the rope technique yesterday, it didn't work but I know I need to practic…

Omg... thank you for explaining this.

Fluctuations, yes. You're talking about the fluctuation toward 80% being the anomaly, and that the normal amount of time would be far less. And, no, there are plenty of secure people who enjoy greate…

Thank you for explaining. Im also super happy for you that you’ve grown from this,I know its hard. I’m in a relationship with an avoidant/emotionally unavailable man, so I’m bracing myself for impact.

Okay I’m new to this- would anyone mind explaining what a DA is to me?

As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…

As an outsider it’s really not clear who or what is going wrong here… have priorities been made clear? have deadlines been agreed upon and then violated without explanation? are they a mature member o…

Umm.. I think your % is off and there are way more lurkers here and some real people out there. I thought about doing posts, a podcast, or a book as an entrepreneur about how hard it was for years ru…

Thank you for explaining. Im french. Oh okay I definitely see what you mean here. 

What you have said mirrors almost exactly what I felt and went through, including me explaining to her briefly at the end about attachement issues and asking if she wanted to know more, and whether sh…

I don't think the playfulness is a bad thing. In this video Ken Reid talks about positive qualities of avoidants and why we tend to fall for them, if you're interested in someone more knowledgable exp…

I'm of the opinion that there is no free will, chemicals move in your brain and then a decision happens, not vice versa. Just like lungs expand to take in air for you to breathe and the stomach digest…

Ahhh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your sympathy : ) How did you handle no contact? I found the short, sharp disconnect (after something that had initially seemed so promising) extremely diff…

My ex came back 4 times in 2 years. Every time the cycles were the same but condensed, like at first it was long nights of processing our breakup over text and finally meeting up and saying I love yo…

I'm securely attached and I'm still dealing with the emotional turmoil from letting a FA in. It's one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life because the person actually understood many o…

It's not a workbook, but "Anxiously Attached" by Jessica Baum has a lot of questions to reflect on and guided meditations. When she asks questions in the book and in the meditation I would pull out my…

I've been on the other end of this.. the push and pull was exactly my ex-girlfriend.. thank you for explaining your side. It's like you're speaking for her. She will never admit any of that in the day…

Hey, thanks for the reply. I'll do my best to answer as precisely as possible > 1. You say you’re in the state of “I could get up, but I do not want to.” This means you’re not fully relaxed or in th…

Could just be general anxiety. Also our attachment system is dynamic. There isn’t a “style“ that keeps you constrained by operating the exact same way in every relationship. You can read about our at…

In my opinion they're very comparable, yours was there for you but didn't know exactly how to help in a way you needed them to do so. I do not know the whole story, but there are people here who sugge…

Text of original post by u/VisibleAnteater1359: I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good …

I feel like we’re like the same people in this way. And I have struggled heavily with this aspect in the past, feeling so powerless, feeling like no one consider things the way I do, wanting to contro…

Or maybe something explaining how many comments we need to make or what karma is or anything. Should I come at five times or 100 times before I write my long post?

Please be careful talking to gpt, it can trigger your anxiety all over again. You don't want the issue of "I'll stop being anxious after gpt explains" it's dangerous and can impact your self regulatio…

Ahh, ok. Thank you for explaining.

Hey I've been facing some issues in my relationship. Need advice on how to fix everything. My partner very recently expressed her concern for my health and that i should really avoid drinking at all.…

Thank you so much! This makes total sense. I’m trying to move toward being secure. Hence giving him a week to process his emotions without needing to fix it. I was just handling my emotions. Regulatin…

In an anxious avoidant cycle with my fiance, we've been dating for 7 years. Some times we are better at navigating the ebbs and flows and sometimes all hell breaks loose . In general I've stepped int…

> Well there is no existing relationship lol. that's what I mean. I was wondering if using an online dating app felt like an admission of that. I certainly have a level of anxiety about people as…

Great stuff here. You always post good, interesting shit on this forum. Lots of valuable insight in your post, thanks for taking the time to write it. One thing I appreciate is that you talk abou…

Happy New Year! 🎊🎉 I will stand by my truth even if it damage the link. I will say "no, I don't like that", "yes, this bothers me", and "no, I don't know if it's gonna work between us" without expla…

I'm not setting societal standards just explaining them.

Hey everyone, I really need some perspective on my situation. My ex and I recently broke up after almost 3 years together, about 8 days ago. The breakup was reportedly over “values” — but from my pers…

The dismissiveness in a dismissive avoidant is towards the self. Like I said, read Dr. Crittendens work on attachment. Her book assessing adult attachment is very good at explaining what attachment i…

So recently, I was feeling pressured by my new friend to meet up. Not intentionally by them. When I gained the confidence later that night, I texted a long message to, i guess, set my boundaries. E…

I want to focus on what you said is your knee jerk response. Explaining that you can’t reply because you’re busy and take time is something worth considering. It’s not justifying yourself, it’s making…

Mental Dieting doesn't work and is harmful in the long run. Self-concept has been discussed here too (in the index). I think you should re-read the index. You may have read it, but I don't think you …

Thank you for explaining in detail, it's very helpful. I'm sorry you had to struggle through trichotillomania without help. It's doubly painful to be in that position, getting yelled at when you need…

Since this book gets recommended a lot, even in this thread, I am also making my own comment. This is about *Atttached* by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This goodreads review by a user named Melody d…

Sort of meta, but you quitting therapy is you doing the thing you're talking about. The relationship with a therapist is a vignette of our attachment style and relationship issues (the therapeutic all…

One of the healthiest response in my idea is consistent reassurance without over-explaining—name your pattern (“If I’m slow to reply, I’m busy, not upset”) and hold that boundary calmly. If they cont…

I've been there. I'm sorry your experiencing this and your in a lot of pain right now. I can gaurantee that the pain will end with time. It lasted around 4 months for me, but everyone heals different…

Its cliche to say this but it is true when people say to focus on yourself. They just kind of suck at explaining how. I'm going through a new break up right now and what kept me stuck before the most …

What specifically is stupid? I'm struggling to see it between him validating OP's concerns, explaining his own communication frequency, and then telling her their expectations for texting might not be…

Hi All! I need some advice. My post has not gained any traction anywhere else. I am here to understand what is happening because I feel clouded a little bit in my relationship. We are opposite attachm…

You will know when you’re ready. I can’t explain it, but you’ll know it. When it’s the right time for you, it’ll feel like the right thing to say. In fact, when you’re really ready, you might even not…

Just to clarify - both of you like each other (the degree of said liking is different, but the general sentiment is the same), but you still want to break up instead of just talking and explaining. Wh…

I'm about six months past the final breakup with my ex, if you can call it that. I thought I was mostly over it, then cried explaining the whole thing to my new therapist earlier this week and definit…