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dating
Evidence
Citations (101)
I'm a therapist and I'd highly recommend healthygamergg's content for this sort of thing. I'll link some relevant videos of his below. [Stop Being a Low Value Man](https://youtu.be/or6A1Pl04ss) …
Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…
How do I know if I simply don’t like someone enough to be with them or if I’m simply running away from what is safe? — I am dating someone for a week and I feel like I don’t like them enough and I would like something more exciting. They also feel like coming in too hard with double and triple texting. I know howeve…
Reading interest in text — I am looking for some feedback or insight. I’m 49m and she is 50f. I met her on a dating app. It was great energy and really engaging. We went on a great date and she was very complementary and we di…
Why are companies updating their ui? — First YouTube (luckily this was reverted) then Discord and now SoundCloud most of the users love the old ui's and then they change/"fix" it anyone got any ideas why? edit: I have seen all the poin…
[Showoff Saturday] Indoor football arena website made in html and css and 11ty static site generator. No frameworks. Nearly perfect page speed scores. Just showing what’s possible with only the fundamentals. — Here’s the site https://thefootballfactorynj.com The biggest problem we had to solve was consolidating all the dozens of pages they had for each age group and camp or league to sign up. We made the…
Haha being an FA is fucking weird — I’m dating someone I really like and just being around her makes me dis regulated what is this shit. Learning to laugh at it. 😂😭😂 fellow FA’s how do you handle being deregulated.
Cannot stay attracted to dating app matches — I've never been in a relationship but I've been working on myself a lot and trying to put myself out there to find love. And I've just noticed a pattern of mine. But I just keep losing interest or ge…
Announcement Regarding Community Safety — Dear SEO Members, We are reaching out to address a serious issue that affects the safety and well-being of our moderation team and our community as a whole. It has come to our attention that the CEO …
Thoughts on an image sharing tool with link permissions? (i will not promote) — **Looking for feedback: Tool for sharing images securely with permissioned domains (like DocSend, but mainly for images)** Hey r/startups, I’m working on validating an idea and would love your thoug…
To all the scrum masters/PMs: Would you use an AI that joins meetings, takes notes, and assigns tasks to the right teammate automatically? I will not promote — Hi! I’ve been thinking about a recurring pain I see in most teams — meetings generate lots of discussion and action items, but someone still has to take notes, track tasks, and figure out who shoul…
JSON-LD by llana Davis — I am newer to SEO and stumbled across this app via ChatGBT. My 7-day trial ends in the next two days and then we’ll be charged the $400 annual charge. Before we commit though, has anyone (or does an…
CSS not working in web, but works pretty fine locally. — I was rebuilding the page in a subdirectory. I was working always with at least two browsers (Edge and Floorp) to see how the page was going of course. I also tried with a live server extension in VSC…
Voice-to-text recs for sales professionals — Happy Monday killers! Hope everyone's crushing their quota this quarter. So, I've been in sales for about 5 years now, mostly SDR roles, and I'm starting to feel it. My wrists are *screaming*. All th…
Funding Questions (I will not promote) — I started a chatting site in January. And I’m at the stage now where I think I’m ready for funding. I have created a decent pitch deck, one pager, new sign up website, LLC, trademark pending, and th…
Website Traffic Analytics Show No Activity Suddenly — Hello Guys. Hoping you can shed some light as to why we are facing a situation. When I click on Rank Math Analytics for the last 30 days it shows zero activity across the board. There is activity up…
Should I hide my plugins in WordPress for safety? And how? — Hey folks, I've been thinking about WordPress security lately and came across this question: **Should I hide the plugins I'm using on my WordPress site to improve safety?** I’m not talking about u…
Proud of my results as a non expert and want to share and say thanks! — I posted about my SEO efforts about 5 months ago and I had such a warm response from everyone that I kind of wanted to provide an update. I had both shared my results and asked for advice on next step…
Admin down? — Hi, is there an issue with the admin not updating the total sales and order totals? I noticed this about an hour ago on both mobile and desktop. My recent orders are showing up as unfulfilled, the ad…
Anyone else noticing small businesses drowning in SaaS subscription costs these days? — Been consulting with a few local businesses recently and I'm shocked at how many are spending $500-1000+ monthly on various software subscriptions. One client is paying for Salesforce, Asana, Notion, …
Death by a Thousand Subscriptions: Is anyone's SaaS bills higher than their Ad spend? — I've been watching several eCommerce businesses in my network, and it's fascinating how many are drowning in subscription costs for essential software. One store owner I know is paying nearly **$500/m…
Webdesign and SEO — Hi I'm updating an old website with more updated/modern visual elements, but all website structure, urls and content is the same. Speed is the same if not faster, html structure/tags have some diffe…
Do push/pull dynamics happen even when you’re not participating in them? — I (F, 32, originally AP, now definitely more secure) have just gone through a very confusing dating experience. 3 months ago I started seeing this man (34 met on Hinge). He started off very interested…
Wordpress Staging vs. LocalWP for website redesign — Hey everyone, I’m working on a full redesign and cleanup of an existing WordPress website, and I want to make sure the development process doesn’t hurt the site’s current SEO at all — both during deve…
"Mastering Content Creation with Real-Time Optimization, Competitor Analysis, and Smart Editing Tools" — Content is still king—but not just any content. Today, high-ranking content is the result of a strategic balance between creativity and data-driven precision. To climb the search engine results pages …
Problems updating to Rank Math Pro — Hi, I have the free version of rank math. I bought the pro version and I am having some problems installing it. I downloaded the file and uploaded it to wordpress but I'm getting a message asking if…
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…
Update — Saw her again at the Social Club — not much to report. She came over, sat next to me, and we had a nice chat the whole time. We’re actually planning a spa date since we share the same birthday. Befo…
You know what sucks about being in the process of healing your attachment type? Dating someone who has no idea they have an insecure attachment and you're just wasting all that hard-earned security on someone who doesn't care — I've been fearful avoidant most of my life, and it's helped me in abandoning very healthy partners because I was too blind of my issues. For 2 years now I've been working on myself and seeing huge s…
How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating? — I (M,21, Secure) and my *girlfriend* (F, 21, DA), been dating for 6 months (however both agreed to not proclaim it a relationship yet) and right about 6 month mark she began deactivating (sudde…
Feeling smothered by an AP friend… — This is part reflection/observation, and part question at the bottom. It’s interesting and a bit funny to me, I rarely feel avoidant in my attachments. The test I took for this sub, showed all secur…
antidepressants and avoidant attachment — i (22f, FA) came off venlafaxine (SNRI) about two months ago after being on it for 5+ years for depression and anxiety. predictably a lot of stuff is coming up, OCD and BDD symptoms, anxiety is a bit …
I despise myself for having avoidant tendencies. — I'm dating someone right now, and things are actually going well. She moves a bit slower than I'm used to, but that's probably a good thing—my last relationship moved way too fast; we slept together …
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
Women I’m dating is afraid I’ll lose interest when I learn who she really is. Seeking FA perspective. — I’m ramping up my dating efforts because I’m doing well—both financially and mentally. Things have been going really well with a new woman I’m dating. We shared a nice moment on our last date, and I’m…
Help me understand-anxious now ex bf + part avoidant ex gf — My anxious ex and I met in ‘22. Online I was a full dismissive avoidant I began to work on myself in October’23. Since October ‘23,I have been a dismissive avoidant in recovery Recently,I have …
Anxiety only triggered in romantic relationship, how to manage it? — Hi everyone, I’m a 26M and fairly new to relationships. I’ve noticed my anxious attachment only really shows up in my romantic relationship, not with friends, family, or colleagues. With them I feel …
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup — This thread will be posted every other week and is the **ONLY** place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question. Please be sure to read the [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/…
The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…
I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …
For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…
I had a breakthrough tonight! — Hello! Brief backstory here. I recently got divorced, and dating has been an interesting experience since. I went into one relationship very quickly with another anxiously attached person. It didn't w…
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup — This thread will be posted every other week and is the **ONLY** place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question. Please be sure to read the [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/…
How to fully be present in my dating break (build momentum at the start)? — You'd think taking a break would be straight forward, but I feel like it's more challenge for us anxious attachment/pure-O OCD types who struggle with rumination or feelings of inadequacy about their …
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup — This thread will be posted every other week and is the **ONLY** place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question. Please be sure to read the [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/…
Any support groups out there for preoccupation with dating? — I think the obsessive thoughts and rumination around dating (status, ongoing situations) is a common thing in anxious attachment so seeking support here. Has anyone found any support groups or what l…
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup — This thread will be posted every other week and is the **ONLY** place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question. Please be sure to read the [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/…
Finding proof that you were right to be anxious — I'm sure others can relate to this, but whenever I start dating someone, I look for signs that they don't actually like me. Things like "he took hours to text back" or "he was a little quieter than us…
READ THIS if you want to POST here — This is a new thread with the SAME GUIDELINES as the previous post which is now archived. THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR APPROVAL TO POST. You don’t have to be an approved user to comment or lurk. ONLY som…
>About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought I’d always be broke. I even had to take a screenshot of my bank balance to remind myself of that amaz…
This was so validating. Thank you so much.
Reciprocate the same energy, go back to the dating world and find yourself someone who will always look forward to spending time with you.
Because thats not how relationships work. You can’t solely be thinking of whats best for you. If I date someone yet kept myself before them all the time, that relationship would probably not last very…
>go back to the dating world and find yourself someone who will always look forward to spending time with you. sorry, but he's a dude. This option is only viable for women.
So my long story short.. yes I reached out after almost a year and not with any love or dating intentions. We started to reconnect and things started to happen for us again. We’ve been back to togethe…
Reading this now and all I can say is same, and you’re not alone. All I’ve ever wanted is for my parents to show some level of engagement and curiosity in my life. How am I doing? What interests me ri…
Also there seems to be an overreliance on arbitrary "rules" like "age gap bad" (obviously some age gaps really are bad but five years in your 20s shouldn't be such a big deal IMO) or "high school swee…
Definitely true. My parents in law have been together for 40 years, married for 32. They started dating when she was 16 and he was 24! Something that's literally illegal in most places now and situati…
Wow, thank you for asking. 🥰 No, I haven’t found either. I have really tried with the therapist but they are too expensive and not covered by my insurance or are only licensed in states other than mi…
These changes are long overdue. Thank you for updating the rules to adapt to the evolving situation! I hope the sun can self correct back into a helpful place to discuss self improvement again.
Based on my experience dating a DA, yes this is all “normal” for them. He made it clear we were only to see each other once every two weeks. He didn’t “have capacity” for more than that. The week afte…
I’m sorry to hear you had an experience like that. I do think my current relationship is a little more consistent than what you’ve described. We see each other usually at least once a week, more if we…
I am securely attached, and I usually don't communicate a lot after i have met up with someone. This "withdrawal" has nothing to do with my dating partner. I myself enjoy a lot of alone time, so usual…
This was a pattern when I was dating / situationship with a DA. Amazing day together and then poof mia like it never happened
Probably...I'm not fully DA especially now, but even when I first started dating my girlfriend, I never needed time away after spending time with her. In fact, I wanted even more. DA or not, it's a…
FA leaning more towards DA here, when I’m dating and we spend a lot of time together or talk/text a bunch I typically take time to myself after. It can be pretty overwhelming “dealing” w my partners i…
I'm not sure but I have some FA tendencies in dating and have needed "cool down" periods in past dating situations, as sometimes they really ramped up my anxiety and I needed space to regulate again. …
Yes, I do this myself and see this happen with the guy I'm dating as well. I think it's triggered by positive feelings/increased connection or vulnerability. For me, when we get closer, or when he tel…
For me a big part *is* (cause I’m still working on it)… not fearing losing myself in an attachment. Being able to establish clear boundaries early on, and keep to them even if I lose the other person…
I think it really depends on the partner and how willing they are to communicate. In my last relationship I was avoidant leaning secure and my partner was preoccupied. There were certain things I thou…
If you want to talk, I invite DMs but I'm only here sporadically. I'm a healed avoidant. I say that, but it's not black and white. I measure now for mostly secure. I still experience the initial resp…
Or before going on a rant about an "avoidant discard" consider maybe someone just broke up with you because it wasn't working for them. People aren't obligated to stick around forever trying to for…
I think that problem equally applies to everyone with an insecure attachment style. Avoidant people don’t become less avoidant by naming their behavior either. A lot of people are able to identify th…
It’s been a year (yesterday) since my ex cruelly and coldly discarded me by text (after 18 months of dating… and lots of life experiences).. “I can’t see you anymore, I wish you well”.. It was massive…
If you have ever had to watch a secure friend get destroyed by someone with Anxious attachment it is awful. Sometimes healthy people get tired of being smothered and decide to end a relationship. An…
Honestly I find avodants very triggering. I believe it’s better to just set hard boundaries to weed them out. There’s nothing wrong with dating people who are right for you.
Simply get back to the things that give me joy in life. Nature, cycling, career progression, healthy cooking, travel, caving, gym, movie buff, research, etc. Never abandon my identity ever again when …
I let my intentions be known. I tell the im dating with the intention of finding a GF. If I do not hear from them for a week or they dont text back for days I set the boundary that if this continues…
"And if someone ghosts, maybe they didn't feel emotionally safe enough to communicate openly with you." This is the most equivocating, invalidating, dismissive bullshit I've ever seen. There is a di…
Most people lived in small villages(or close proximity) and wouldn't be that far away from each other about...70-80 years ago, and even before the internet you'd be close by your partner (otherwise, h…
When you first started dating. When my ex and I first started dating, we were in constant contact for months and spending most weekends together. What happens after your first started dating?
I do understand and I can agree it’s not a behavior that can cultivate a long standing relationship with someone who is secure or anxious. But the same can be said about other attachments aswell (no…
Yes this is my default mode. I need calm after engagement. Relaxation after stimulation. To unwind / recharge. The best thing an AP person can do is realise that other attachment styles don't need to…
I think typically the people we get along best with, will feel boring. Conflict is where excitement stems from. When things are easy and flow naturally, there is no conflict, and thus no excitement. Y…
Usually most people are a little bit chill and collected in the first few weeks of meeting each other. There are no global standards or benchmarks, but if you’re looking for general guidance maybe som…
“Would you be ok if we slow our cadence down a bit? I like to have some time between our dates and texting interactions, so I can settle into my feelings and intentions.” Or something like that… If t…
Example 1 is something I'm experiencing from someone else so thanks for describing it so well. I agree example 2 is more common from my experience in dating. It's why I can't tell if I'm reacting to …
Love the question!! You don’t need a relationship to grow, that’s the beauty of it (you can but it will be slower, depending on what kind of partner you end up with) You could try to explore being mo…
My best friend used to say he "couldn't imagine" not texting someone back quickly. Then, *in his own words,* he ""got a life"" and understood that, **yes,** people really can and do get that busy and …
I suppose it’s very subjective. Even tho I’m wired anxious in romantic relationships, I catch and correct myself. I figured this out in my 20s when I began dating. At minimum, basic self-awareness a…
Why would you post this topic in the attachment theory sub? This is dating 101. I see you’ve been dating for a while now - what’s stopping you from realizing people don’t have to reply back right away…
Something might have come up in her life. And this is where attachment theory comes in. If you have doubts about her non-actions, ask yourself - Why are you thinking of her disinterest when she did…
I absolutely agree! For me, this allows me to "forgive" them, but accepting the reality of who they are and what the relationship ultimately was. I was dating potential, rather than what was actuall…
I've been experiencing something similar, broke up in December. In my mind, it's almost as if the person I knew and loved severed (like from the show Severance) themselves and returned from a trip as …
My brother i think it's good you posted here bc you can begin to recognize you have anxious attachment. It was one date. Even if she's brushing you off and lost interest, she doesn't necessarily owe …
I think your question is valid. You showed vulnerability by posting it here. I’m sorry so many adults in this sub choose to use their inside voice when responding. I think it would be different if we …
I almost commented on this earlier in the week because I was dating someone who made me feel the same way but I’ve since ended things and I’m pretty sure what you’re feeling is a sign of incompatibili…
One thing I'll say is that in the early stages of dating you aren't actually seeing a person's natural "energy"; you're seeing their energy when they're flying blind under the pressure of courtship an…
Thanks for sharing the reel. I really liked how it acknowledged the full range of the trauma spectrum. It was both enlightening and validating. I wonder if I should find a therapist who specializes i…