book
strong
Evidence
Citations (101)
Therapy, self-awareness, reading books on the subject, journaling, it's not easy, and it's not immediate, but slowly you start to question some instincts you have and push through. It's the most unc…
A Procedural Update for the Continued Health of Our Subreddit. — Hey everyone on r/NarcissisticAbuse. We get it, we really do– the U.S. political situation right now is a bloody mess with further escalation, rather than some kind of stability, on the horizon. W…
Does attachment style start to shift after cutting out toxic family members? — Recently, I removed a toxic family member from my life after years of emotional turbulence and manipulation. This person liked to gaslight me, hold past mistakes over my head, and blame me for everyth…
Why do so many retail & shopping sites hide the item details/description? — I’ve noticed this on a number of sites, and I’m fairly certain it hasn’t always been this way. "Hide" is probably a strong word, but basically retailers making the details/description of a product a c…
Feeling stuck between a promo and burnout - advice? — I'm approaching 5 years at my current company (2 years as junior, 3 as mid-level) and am submitting a promotion case for Senior. I won't hear back for a couple months - my director feels optimistic, b…
I work with meat snacks and my supplier is one of the leading companies. Looking for a partner. — I’ve developed two types of meat snacks products - beef jerky and dried beef slices. My supplier is one of the leaders in the space and is EU-certified organic. Marketing isn’t my strong point, so wo…
The brutal truth about content marketing no one tells you (until you burn out) — The brutal truth about content marketing no one tells you (until you burn out) You can publish 3 blog posts a week, schedule a dozen tweets, crank out a newsletter, and still feel like you're screami…
I designed an AI-powered path planner, but users lean toward heavy learning goals — need help rethinking the UX direction — Hi UXer! I’m a solo founder & designer, currently building a lightweight learning platform that uses AI to generate custom learning paths and micro flashcards. I designed it to support curious, self-…
How Would You Approach Digital Marketing for a Premium Food Product Expanding Internationally? — Hi everyone, I run digital efforts for my family’s pistachio butter business based in Gaziantep, Turkey — a region famous for producing world-class pistachios. We’ve been in business since 2007 and …
Looking for solid affiliates (not random IG girls) — We run a women’s journaling brand with a strong psychology/wellness angle. Our affiliate program’s been live for a while, but most signups so far have been low-quality and not serious. We offer 30% c…
I have software business with a few customers. How should I scale? (I will not promote.) — Hi everyone, I currently have a SaaS business that provides software to local Credit Unions with the goal to enhance the member experience by building credit, offering tools to renters, and compete w…
SEO Strategies for Large Database Sites with Dynamic Titles and H1s — Hi ! What are the best practices for optimizing dynamic H1 and title tags on a large database-driven site with filterable pages (by year, country, artist name, etc.)? How do you avoid duplicate conte…
Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…
How to Build a Site for Both Art and Ecommerce? — Hi everyone, I’m a freelance graphic designer and currently have my portfolio site on Squarespace, which also includes a small e-commerce shop for art prints. I originally chose Squarespace because …
APPLYING FOR MERCHANT ID — Hey guys, just thought i’d drop in here to quickly as a question for the experienced folks here. I am looking to apply for MIDs but i am kind of stuck on what banks/ Mid providers will look at on my…
Looking to Upskill for Freelance Digital Marketing – Advice on Courses? — Hi everyone, I’m currently working as a nurse but looking to transition into freelance digital marketing on the side, with a long-term goal of building a strong client base. I completed a postgrad in…
What’s the smartest business to start today with $50k–75K? — I’m 18 and looking to start a serious business with a budget of $50K–$75K. I’m not interested in quick flips or side hustles. I want something solid and long-term. Ideally, a real business with a phys…
Warning: Aggressive Tactics from Paperstack – A Cautionary Tale for Store owners seeking funding — Hey fellow builders, I want to share our recent experience with [Paperstack](https://paperstack.ai/), an e-commerce financing provider, to caution others who might be considering their services. We …
Is it good to ghost people? — Hey everyone, I've been looking for client work as a freelance graphic designer and a few times now a potential client shows interest and sounds like a strong lead They ask for my portfolio I send i…
pros/cons of different vc programs for deep tech (i will not promote) — I know there are many specialized accelerators and venture programs tailored to different types of startups. For AI startups — especially those with a strong research orientation — what are the top pr…
Looking to Upskill for Freelance Digital Marketing – Advice on Courses? — Hi everyone, I’m currently working as a nurse but looking to transition into freelance digital marketing on the side, with a long-term goal of building a strong client base. I completed a postgrad in…
Looking to Upskill for Freelance Digital Marketing – Advice on Courses? — Hi everyone, I’m currently working as a nurse but looking to transition into freelance digital marketing on the side, with a long-term goal of building a strong client base. I completed a postgrad in…
Considering a move from big tech to a small company. Worth the risk? — I know this sub leans junior, but hoping to get some advice from senior folks. Especially people in Bay Area, NYC, or Seattle-type tech scenes. Tagging this as Job Search and not Senior Only because I…
How to get Millions of $$$ from ANY government for your business (I will not promote) — Experienced founder & CEO here. I'm gonna tell you how my business got straight cash (like literally millions) from the gov and how you can do that too. I've bootstrapped my last german education bu…
Services which don't quite mesh with devops — Hey folks, Do you have stories about teams or products which don't quite fit into devops? - for any reason. How did your org or you approached these? - At my current org (midsized insurance enterpr…
I’ve failed at startups, lived on the road, and I still believe I’m successful — I was 19 when I started my first startup. I led a team of 15 people, wanted to change the world. And I failed. At 21, back in 2016, I left home without any money, hoping that traveling would help me …
Americans working in majority Indian workplaces. What do you need to know to succeed? — I’ve been working at my company for a year or so and it’s been great. I’ve learned a lot of new tech as well as practice old tech (Django). My team is also quite strong and I can’t really complain. I…
Getting SaaS app rolling — Hey guys, So after about 1 yrs and a 1/2 I am finished building my first SaaS and a high level MVP done. Also my first round funding is secured. Now to be clear, I have done marketing, gathering pro…
Every day I try to do things right. Every day they say no. Now I duct-tape and maintain the mess I warn them about — Hey folks, Just wanted to drop this little gem of corporate masochism So I work at this company where we develop software for real state agencies, in this 'properties' sql table we have a field cal…
Does your business have to be something you’re good at? — I have a production company and have spent most of my late teens and early 20s being a music artist, pursuing shows, publications, and making music connections to very little success. I’ve met great …
Overtraining and being effective — Wanted to share about a recent breakthrough I had in being effective and getting things done. Like many of you, I believe that being physically fit is a huge part of operating at peak efficiency. Whe…
Any advice ?? — Hello everyone, I’m a 23-year-old senior in college majoring in Business Administration, and I’m currently exploring opportunities in real estate. I’ve been drawn to the field because of its strong p…
Generational wealth advice? — Hello everyone, I’m a 23-year-old senior in college majoring in Business Administration, and I’m currently exploring opportunities in real estate. I’ve been drawn to the field because of its strong p…
Generational wealth — Hello everyone, I’m a 23-year-old senior in college majoring in Business Administration, and I’m currently exploring opportunities in real estate. I’ve been drawn to the field because of its strong p…
Need advice!! — Hello everyone, I’m a 23-year-old senior in college majoring in Business Administration, and I’m currently exploring taking over my dad’s welding business. I’ve been drawn to the field because of its…
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…
Excessive Rumination — Dear all, I've recently found myself reminiscing on a brief encounter I had with someone two years ago, in which we both massively triggered one another's attachment wounds (me being anxious, & her …
Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…
Workshop On Sunday, July 20th: Basics of Attachment Repair Meditation: donation based. — This course will cover the basics of Attachment Theory and Attachment Repair Meditations. There will be a strong emphasis on the meditation practice [https://attachmentrepair.com/online-events/2025-…
Anyone Else Feel Relationships just Aren't for them? — Hello all, I'm basically pretty severely A.P. , & so far I've been unable to get close to anyone (romantically) in my life without just exploding with terror that I'll be abandoned (or feeling a stro…
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…
A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …
This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…
Help me to recognise my attachment style please! — I (26F) am struggling with this a lot, since my patterns of romantic behavior don’t seem to fit neatly into any of the four categories (AA, FA, DA, SA). On the one hand, I clearly crave intimacy and…
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…
Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…
For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…
I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …
🕊️ Community Reminder: Respectful Dialogue & Open Exchange — Hey everyone, We just want to take a moment to thank all of you for helping make r/AstralProjection one of the most interesting and supportive spaces on Reddit. Every day, people from around the worl…
Kinda cruel to do something that hurts them. Haven't you both hurt enough from breaking up? I mean most couples did have allot love or strong feelings for their person at some point. Getting closure i…
Don’t Try focusing on controlling too much immediately or getting Carried away trying to do influence it strongly at first . Try just remaining calm by focusing on your environment and exploring as yo…
I agree that things can change, but am forever baffled/frustrated by a repeated theme I see in here: men seem to think women have it easier or have some sort of advantage. I assure you, women don’t “k…
Easier said than done. I have no motivation to do anything. She was a big motivation for me in life. I’m going on 13 days NC now, and I have a very very strong urge to reach out. She reached out 3 tim…
I understand. Just a week before my wife left me she said “I’m so glad we are such a strong couple that if we needed counseling we would go to couples therapy” however what she really meant was “ plea…
Fortunately I've taken my separation (and inevitable divorce) as an opportunity to quit drinking and make healthy lifestyle choices. I've been working really hard to practice mindfulness and radical …
I have not been public-facing but generally when people come to me with issues I take care of them. This was due to complaints about a certain comment that made people feel unsafe. It's important a co…
It's so easy to resent and want to blame your parents, but don't you think the way you where raised where how your grandparents raised them? Finding compassion, and understanding that your parents did…
Thank you so much for this! Actually, also 12 years and my husband had an affair 6 months ago and a new one now that I discovered right after a very sad (for me) Thanksgiving. So I get what you’re say…
How do you know they don’t have success despite not posting about it? Myself and those I know who practice it aren’t exactly the most vocal about it. In fact I strongly suspect that the amount of pou…
You don’t “ignore” the negative thought or brush it aside. You deal with the negative emotions using whatever means necessarily (sit and cry if you must, get therapy,etc ) and you continue to do your …
That was an instant example I was giving as of today. Well, on bigger stuff: getting into Harvard with shit gmat scores on a full ride scholarship (miraculously some rich dude donated to the school, a…
Just believing is one thing, subconscious faith towards your desire (not LOB particularly) is another thing. You lived your entire life based of your default beliefs without even knowing the Law. I sa…
Anecdotally, I am good at getting admitted to all-funded conferences, I used to say it’s just because I believe in it. Later on, I realized it turned into a pattern as I was lucky for getting into the…
exactly, I have strong scientific understanding, so I know all the sort of science reasons are usually bullshit, and fool those with less science background, yet I also have experienced that it works,…
I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …
I am in a similar position to you OP. I've been seeing my fiancée for over 2 years. We live separately due to circumstances at her end, and we see each other roughly once a week, usually at weekends…
It is extremely difficult to *start* the healing process while in a relationship as you would be required to balance other factors (is the other party willing to work too? What is their level of healt…
I've been in therapy for over a year for various reasons, and for me the first thing I needed to work on was my self image. Understanding and accepting myself, building confidence and a stronger sense…
If you want to talk, I invite DMs but I'm only here sporadically. I'm a healed avoidant. I say that, but it's not black and white. I measure now for mostly secure. I still experience the initial resp…
I would suggest you reread my comment again. I said I didn’t want romantic relationships to take up 80% of my life, which is a major and unsustainable deviation from the normal relationship pattern of…
Thanks for your opinion on my 10% figure. Besides that, I did not say partners should be at my convenience. I said other aspects of life can throw a relationship’s typical patterns out of balance. Ha…
I feel like if it’s only been a week and you haven’t gotten physical and you’re not feeling it, it’s best to just leave. Running from a strong connection is different from running from someone you don…
We, myself included, are programmed to want answers, sometimes where there are none. So we chase abusers. Does it help? No. Do we think it will? Yes. Sometimes people have to experience the pain of y…
>Not saying you’re entirely wrong but that wasn’t the point of the ladder experiment. The point of the ladder experiment was to teach about awareness. > Ah. Conscious awareness. Complete rubbish and…
It was difficult untill last summer when I joined a men’s group, and got some feedback to my story… at the same time I was deeply committed to learning about avoidant’s and how they manage (or more to…
Attachment styles are not the sole factors for attraction we create. But cutting off people we have known for a long time - especially family members, to which we are bound to biologically - is a sig…
I've been there! I'm bordering between being a DA and a FA, personally. For me, it happened somewhat quickly after I opened up to my therapist and it was i n t e n s e. Like, I had never in my life…
I am avoidant and I don't hate my exes - I just don't want to be smothered or expected to constantly reassure people. Just because I have to get away doesn't equal hate. That is a strong interpretatio…
This is not standard. Maybe the person has other stuff going on making them act hateful. Or that’s how they cope with their decision to leave. An avoidant deep in the trenches does not want to look li…
Yup, a lack of respect for boundaries because of their inability to self-soothe drives me even further away. Hate is a pretty strong word; I'd say annoyed is more accurate.
The one that fucked me up the most was an FA I don't bother with avoidants. She showed really strong in the beginning, but after we had sex and it started feeling real she ran. Makes it hurt more. The…
People say they don’t hate, but from my understanding some of them fault-find in order to deactivate? Sure it’s not as strong as ‘hate’ by any means, but it seems pretty… negative?
I'm so sorry, this sounds so hard. If you can, I think it would be amazing to focus on yourself right now and what you need. My long distance boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after one disagreement…
All the nice words he said are just that: words. And excuses. When two people are away and didn't really have much time to really create a strong bond, anything can happen. First, once you saw he's le…
Hate is a strong word But I found unhealed avoidants, prob DAs, tend to at least temporarily drop or block a person to self-regulate, could be for weeks or months. The longest was an ex that blocke…
Defensive mechanisms going strong.
Indeed. They just became stronger with a perm ban for you. lol
Hmm. My experience so far is that I will use different attachment styles depending on circumstance. Most people I think have a default, e.g. A person who comes from a secure background will be willi…
This is interesting. A DA I was with didn't want to commit or name the relationship but seemed shocked that I started dating someone else. He was too busy chasing an ex that he refused to believe was …
Don’t worry, I understand that my phrasing was a bit strong. What I meant was that ‘removing autonomy’ can also go under being abusive/unintentionally toxic (for example, making them feel like they ar…
My phrasing was also strong. And to that level of controlling, yes, I agree. I presume this may happen for some severe anxious attachers or narcissists.
BeeDee is a part that has strong Body Dysmorphia.
This isnt wrong. Think about the way we used to punish people in our societies of the past - we would exile them. Being socially ostracized used to mean certain death for us. Somewhere in our genes we…
Bash and python are more relevant than powershell for most DevOps roles unless wherever you land is pure azure. I say that having landed in DevOps 9 years ago from a strong background in windows syste…
Stay strong and learn. It doesn’t get any easier.
I would strongly, strongly suggest keeping ci/cd pipelines and jobs/stages of those pipelines stateless and idempotent. Maybe add a few repetitions of "strongly" to that sentence.
There's a million different opportunities. Most are viable. At 18 you basically have no experience. There's nothing wrong with that, and even a few advantages. But you also don't know what you don't …
It all depends if you plan to raise funding. Of the answer is yes, start marketing now. Investors won’t fund you to hire an agency at least until you figure it out. If the answer is no, and you have t…
It’s a common challenge. It sounds like you might need a stronger structure for cross-functional communication. Try setting up clear documentation (like a shared roadmap), defining goals for each team…