book
security
Evidence
Citations (100)
Therapist will navigate with you your core wounds which will help you to identify your fears and patterns, learn healthy boundaries, learn about attachment in deeper and learn more about yourself, wor…
Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …
I just proved that a crappy industry is literally pissing away money — I constantly preach about template fraud and those "pretty but useless" websites that don't deliver actual business results. This week, I decided to prove my point. I spotted a security product in th…
Bundle pricing and host suggestions — Sup y'all, I'll start by mentioning that I did read through the FAQs regarding pricing as a web developer. This post is regarding bundling and host selection. I recently worked with my brothe…
Building My First B2C SaaS Product – Learning, Struggling, and Still Going — I’ve been working on my B2C SaaS app **Gamify** for a little over a week now. It’s a habit-tracking, gamified to-do list app — a mix of fun and structure I’ve always felt was missing in other tools. …
MacOs HomeBrew and Open Source tooling — Hey guys! Quick question for ya, I've been at a job for awhile now but we just got transitioned over to macOS. We were on windows machines before. Software was always distributed through self service…
From Rejection to Redemption: How I Broke Into DevOps — Guys, I'm here sitting on my back yard on a beautiful Saturday and I am about to sign an offer letter with a Fortune 500 company — with a 25% salary increase. But just a few months ago, I was getting…
Upwind's Cloud Security CNAPP. Is it viable? — Can anyone share their real-world experience implementing Upwind's "Runtime-Powered" Cloud Security Platform? The promise of using real-time runtime data (I think they use eBPF sensors?) to focus onl…
How ENIs Work in AWS EKS — In AWS EKS, Elastic Network Interfaces (ENIs) play a critical role in how Pods get IP addresses and communicate over the network. So, what is an ENI? An ENI (Elastic Network Interface) is a virtual …
DevSecOps / AI CTF today - Ctf.punksecurity.co.uk — Our CTF runs today, with entry level and difficult challenges across DevSecOps and AI. No cost to play, some prizes for the best teams. CTFs are little competitive puzzle based games designed to exp…
How to sync shopify store to Redbook (Xiaohongshu) — Hey there just seeing if anyone has successfully integrated their shopify site to Redbook? If so how did you do it and does it function well? Security risks? Costs? Thanks
E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…
This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…
What back-end tools should I focus on to become a marketable full stack developer using .NET? — Hey everyone, I've been a front-end dev for a while now, and I’ve recently started diving into back-end development. I'm interested in becoming a full stack dev using React on the front and making my…
What is the biggest problem your startup is solving, where are you located, are you a solo founder and what is your biggest challenge these days? I will not promote. — Please don't promote your startup, just share your main focus, from where you operate even its a global product, if you are the only founder and most importantly what is the biggest challenge you are …
Should I move from Supabase to a self-hosted backend? — I’ve been using **Supabase** for my current app—mainly for Postgres, authentication, and storage. It’s been super convenient for getting started, but I’m starting to think about switching to a **self-…
Security testing frustrations — Just curious what people are using: What's your current workflow for website security checks? If there was a tool that only needed a URL to scan for web vulnerabilities, code issues, and AI security r…
Error: Chrome persistently redirecting to HTTPS for HTTP site, code 400, message Bad request version. Need proper solution please. — **code 400, message Bad request version ('...') You're accessing the development server over HTTPS, but it only supports HTTP.** student project with django backend, running on local development. …
Should I hide my plugins in WordPress for safety? And how? — Hey folks, I've been thinking about WordPress security lately and came across this question: **Should I hide the plugins I'm using on my WordPress site to improve safety?** I’m not talking about u…
Backstage feels like a fools errand — The employee I replaced was promoting backstage and now its all my company wants to talk about. Recently I looked up the custom runner he had to develop in react to get templates to run bash scripts,…
Row Level Security Postgres/ Supabase — Currently building a web application with a node.js backend/api and react/spa front end. I'm using supabase/ postgres as my database. Currently I'm using the service key supabase provides in my backen…
Rate limit when trying to log in to WP Engine — Hello everyone. I need to access to WP Engine to restart the plugins installed in a project. The administrators of the page gave me a link to create a password for my user and i loged in using my mobi…
What WordPress Security Problems Do You Have and How Do You Fix Them? — Hello everyone, If you use WordPress, what security problems do you face on your site, and how do you fix them? I’d love to hear your tips! Thanks!
SOC maturity tool for small teams — assess detection, IR, and automation readiness — We struggled to get a clear read on how mature our SOC really was — especially with a lean team and cloud-first stack. So we put together a free tool to assess: * Logging & telemetry coverage * Aler…
What every DevOps needs to know about DevSecOps — The FREE open-source dynamic DevOps roadmap content is extending more and more. One recent contribution was adding more content to the "growth" section of DevSecOps.  & free-will. They seem to me to slightly conflict. Certainly, it is a difficult p…
You know what sucks about being in the process of healing your attachment type? Dating someone who has no idea they have an insecure attachment and you're just wasting all that hard-earned security on someone who doesn't care — I've been fearful avoidant most of my life, and it's helped me in abandoning very healthy partners because I was too blind of my issues. For 2 years now I've been working on myself and seeing huge s…
Learning to take space, self regulate and set boundaries as an AP earning secure — I have always leaned AP but working on security and now in a relationship with an FA leaning heavily avoidant I've realised a big goal for me is learning to self regulate and set better boundaries. Fo…
Mass produced emotional security/intelligence? — Do you think it can be done? With AI in a HIPAA compliant model? Done ubiquitously across the planet with people being able to access support in real time to put and keep them on the road of secure fe…
Overcoming my anxious attachment — Hi I've successfully combated my attachment style and offer some of the resources I've found. I've dealt with anxiety and insecurity across my romantic and platonic relationships throughout my life. …
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
New relationship insecurities that mimic AP — The first 6 months or so in a relationship I feel like I'm an AP, sensitive to people not texting consistently or following through with planning meetups, primarily. Then I settle down, feel like I ca…
APs what would you want to hear in response if someone doesn’t feel the same as you? — So I’ve been noticing the way a few friends reach out, feels mismatched with how I’m feeling. Usually this is my more anxiously attached friends/most unhealed ones. Often it will be something sugary…
For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…
Have you ever mixed up attachment issues with something else? — For me it’s financial/practical security because of health problems and being poor even when I can work enough hours (still not enough money). What are your experiences and where do you draw the line …
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
What did you notice changed when you began leaning secure? — I'm pretty happy with my progress. I notice I have a much lower tolerance for unaware dysregulation (no matter what kind it is whether it's someone push-pulling or an anxious type dumping on me). I d…
Is casual sex compatible with secure attachment? — I feel like I have a solid grasp of attachment theory after reading a fair amount of the literature over the years, but there’s a philosophical question I can’t quite resolve. Can someone who is secu…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…
Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition? — I have been dating my current partner for about a year now. Long post incoming. I’m posting because I’m noticing a significant avoidant shift in myself and I need perspective specifically on my own at…
My father is sabotaging my career and medical treatments through "smear campaigns" and monitoring. I feel like I'm living in a Truman Show nightmare. — I (25F) am an Indian doctor currently preparing for NEET PG, and I am living with a family led by a malignant narcissistic father. My mother and brother are complete enablers. I’m writing this becaus…
My girlfriend [20F] has scrubbed all photos of me [21M] from her social media and her room. How do I handle her explanation? — My girlfriend and I have been getting into quite a few "back and forth" fights over the past month, and it feels like nothing is changing. Recently, she started removing photos of me from her Instagra…
Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…
Why Being Ok With Not Having Your Desire Manifests It Faster — It’s a very contradictory thing in manifesting where you desire something, but you’re told to let it go and not care about whether or not you have it (because in 4D you already have it). But let’s fo…
Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…
I don't connect with others anymore — Meditation taught me about awareness and of the things I feel i truly want and need in life. But in our materialistic and commercialized setting it seems the goal of everyone is to get more and more …
Would you stay in a relationship with someone like this? — I’m in my first relationship post-divorce after 20 years of marriage. We’ve dated for a year and I love and care deeply for this man, but I’m struggling with whether I’m ignoring red flags. The good:…
The entire universe is frequency and our communications depend on the resonance of our quantum fields — As many of you in this community know, the "UFO/NHI" phenomenon and spiritual awakening often converge at a single point: Resonance. For years, I’ve been obsessed with a question: Is there a specific …
I totally agree that there is a general trend to project personal issues and give drastic advice, especially since... well, it's not your life. I particularly notice it when it comes to fear of a par…
I get where you are coming from. I feel like though, at least for me, it can be a false sense of security trying to overanalyze things. It is masking the fear of being rejected if I ask a partner some…
I’ve experienced all of the attachment styles in one way or another. What has been working for me is finding security in my friendships first. I’ve become so severely avoidant that im not pursuing a r…
I found security in friendships first as well- I was severely DA to start. Friendships are more malleable in expectations, less conditional, and you can experience emotional intimacy, practice healthy…
I'm also a recovering FA and I recently realized a few REALLY important things that are actually really simple. Figure out your boundaries and enforce them from a calm place. Our anxiety builds in our…
I never said they tried, but who wants to find out that someone else emotional regulation depends on your constant presence. Again I’m talking about anxious attachment because secure people are secu…
You don't go up to a mountain and meditate to heal your attachment wounds, then come down and jump into a healthy relationship. That isn't how the human nervous system works. Healing happens in relat…
Yeah that's pretty much it. It's weird seeing the lack of situational awareness driven by what I assume is some kind of insecurity on their end. We've already got a date lined up for the weekend so al…
Speaking as an Attachment focused Therapist, attachment wounds has to be healed through therapy. 1. Relational wounds require relational repair. 2. Insecure attachments lack ability to self-regulate,…
It is a valid question. They are core beliefs(about selfs,others and life) and other beliefs rooted in the core beliefs. Core beliefs are about enoughness, worthiness and deserving, love, security, c…
It can help you by managing your triggers, but it does not mean healing. Years of exposure to emotional turbulence sounds like a disruption to your nervous system, your attachment style. In fearful …
Happy for you. Nobody asks to have an attachment style that’s dysfunctional. I’m working through mine and try so so hard to have compassion for others. But a big part of self love is learning how to h…
Like others already pointed out, this is a good thing! My best friend's mom is a psychotherapist who does long therapies with demanding clients and she says that going from avoidance to attachment anx…
Rejection is the absolute worst. I also have rsd as well because of my ADHD and any lack of interest from my partner just sends me into deep panic. I've worked fairly hard myself in regulating these …
Gees what a nightmare!!! I hope u find a way to feel safer like I would consider moving to a difference city even. I think people like that should be in a maximum security mental hospital for life.
Plenty of other excellent advice here. In terms of cloud hosting: A lot of this is going to depend on your team, think about all of the people that will be managing this. What platform does your team…
It's a pretty good tool, I've been using it for years and am happy with it ... especially the last version (0.16.x) it has been written in Golang. I wrote a post about it a couple of years ago: http…
Personally I would go down the route of malicious compliance. Move every ticket into blocked saying you can't install the required tools due to company policy. Make it a business problem. Security …
Our service involves deploying databases, and a full stack in something like 80+ different regions around the world. For us, we never wanted to deploy to more than one region a day unless we absolutel…
oh man, IAM is tough at first. I think for me it was VPC networking on AWS. its just subnets...lol route tables, nat gateways, private vs public subnets — it all felt like trying to wire up a data c…
Nice idea, but regarding that use case, there’s no way on this planet that I, nor any security team, is going to be happy installing this onto any piece of hardware running production code or handling…
My company provides AI research and dev services to two large clients: a governmental entity and a large security firm. Both look to us to develop tools that can read very large amounts of documentati…
Hey. Interesting write up, it has some good references and shows some good understanding on modern software security. Though there are some parts I would critique for feedback: >Another layer that …
It's that you won't consider how it impacts them. It's not that you might need some space it's that you can't be available for their need for security.
Honestly, yours is the best comment here. Online pop psychology has REALLY distorted what secure attachment is. To some, it’s some sort of stoic perfection where your actions must always match their i…
It feels like a child is clinging to me and then getting angry with me if I try to have a life or any interests outside of them. It starts with needling comments from them, passive aggression, accusat…
I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …
As someone from the other side, It is definitely the worst feeling to go through this with a FA. I feel like ever since being with my ex-husband and going through it, I constantly still find myself lo…
>Whatever the actual proportion is, I bet there is definitely a rise in non-secure attachment overall. Yeah, agreed. People keep citing these dated and dubious "statistics" that 50% of the populati…
Keep that guard up. You losing interest is your healing, so make sure you don't undo it. She is not out of the woods yet - if work makes her so stressed out she is unable to communicate, I'd watch out…
She got pumped and dumped and wants to go back to you for security
Achieving a secure attachment means getting to a point in your healing where you will not engage or stay in a relationship with someone who pulls that sort of crap on you. So your earned security isn…
Yeah, I think this is definitely one of the challenges of healing. The vast majority of people are simply not that self aware about this sort of thing because these psychological concepts aren't that…
The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …
That’s not what this person said. They are saying that being secure means recognizing when something isn’t working. You might be with someone who is attached insecurely, but if their actions continu…
I think it is possible to have earned security on the same level as secure attachment, especially if you have the access to secure attachment figure at the times of need. I actually think you can have…
You assume wrong, I’m a woman and friend is. It’s a platonic relationship. Close friendships also involve attachment, it’s not strictly a romantic thing. I’m not unattached from my friend, I just am …
Okay, this is long and it might sound harsh, but I relate to a lot of what you're going through and acted much in the same way as you did, and I've gone from anxiously attached within a friendship to …
Well, but that is indeed the thing: you cannot have a healthy fulfilling relationship without becoming secure! Not as a DA/FA and not as an AA. Extreme anxious will either push away even a secure pers…
I think dating is for you and self sabotage is common. I think a key, a lot of the time is, is to go into most situations with no attachment to outcome. Find people you like, date and just see how …
Attachment and polyvagal theory, and this happens mostly as an infant / child - when you have a need and it is unmet, you start with Protesting. When protesting fails, you move to Despair (Anxiety / S…
From the purely bystander's perspective, ie. the rational and adult brain perspective with 0 emotions involved, him telling you to "act normal" was yet another of his defense mechanisms. From the po…
Well my post was more about my experience with learning to take space and regulate myself and focus on myself instead of my previous behaviour of being completely focused on him instead. Security is a…
Some people can’t stand being alone or being disliked. They usually have crippling insecurity. The DA card is one that is embraced sometimes when the person is too afraid tbh with the other person. Y’…
Well said. OP talks eloquently about using a painful experience as a catalyst for personal growth instead of using it to justify bitterness or to focus on blaming and shaming. That's a huge sign of p…
Oh I'm sorry. Sounds like our situation is similar. I know that my ex is definitely FA leaning dismissive for sure. I think if he had leaned AP I probably could have dealt with it better, honestly. I …
I didn’t say I need it. I’m already secure. I’m wondering how to help the rest of the world start on the road to security - perhaps easy access to AI or some similar platform can get them there.
Why? It’s about getting the world to start traveling down the road to emotionall security. It may not get them all the way there but starting down that road is a big step.
What are you referring to? When I talk about emotional security or that I think psychiatry is questionable medicine. The two are related, at least from my perspective. But I really started this threa…