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Citations (101)
Read about this phenomenon when Iris Chang first published "Chinese in America", the same book this article cited. I'm speculating, and I'd have to do some research on this, but the Irish teamsters a…
How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …
Need Guidance on Turning My Design Into a Functional Social Media Website — Hello everyone, I’ve been learning IT for the past few months, with the long-term goal of becoming a white-hat hacker. I also have a couple of years of experience in graphic design. However, when it …
Hosting Company Gaslighting Strategy? — I work as a sub-contractor for a marketing company and their biggest client uses a niche hosting company that is more paranoid than Elon Musk in a bunker. I have to install Wordpress manually, do manu…
Suggestions are like Forex signals - doing the exact opposite is where the real money is — I was in a Discord channel with 90K+ designers and every time someone dropped their landing page or website, it felt like getting advice from someone selling Forex signals. Doing the opposite would a…
What questions can you ask a client who doesn’t know how to define their brand? — Sent over a questionnaire to my sales team to use for onboarding and they all came back and said most of the clients don’t know how to answer the questions related to their design guidelines (contract…
Why is Amazon's website design so ugly? — I can't be the only one seeing it. The all white pages, strange font choices, horrendous product image compression, terrible layout, cluttered webpage in general. Even the text looks awful on the page…
Issues making card payments on shopify — Hi guys, I am currently building a new store and everytime I go to either purchase a domain or select a shopify plan through shopify I enter my card details and it just keeps loading and loading on …
Different Businesses Need Different Content Formats – Here's Why (i will not promote) — Hey everyone! One thing I see often overlooked is the fact that **not all businesses need the same type of content formats**. Depending on your target audience and the type of business you run, the …
E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…
This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…
High Margin Whitelabeled Stevia Product - looking for someone to take over — Hi all. Long story short I came in contact with a manufacturer in South America for a very, very good Stevia product that I use by myself and decided I wanted to try to sell in the states which I’ve w…
Would people pay $5 to protect a restaurant reservation from no-show fees? Testing a micro-cancellation MVP. (i will not promote) — Hi all - I'm working on a simple MVP and looking for early feedback: **Problem**: Some restaurants on Resy and Tock now charge $50–$100 per *person* if you cancel too late or don’t show. Totally fair…
Being an Entrepreneur is bloody hard — That's a quote from Dan Pena and it's absolutely right. The bum boys on Instagram, YouTube and all the rest that pretend like it's easy are 1000% full of it. The true life of a business person and e…
Way to protect a page, give access only to certain users with passwordless login — Hello, I am looking for a way to add a page to my WP site, accessible only to certain people. Ideally they would have access without a password: enter their email, and if this email is part of an au…
Simple Hover Effect — **Hi,** I'm new to WordPress and I'm trying to create a hover effect for my homepage. Specifically, I’d like an image to switch to a colored version when the mouse hovers over it—the default image wo…
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
Is deactivation the real her? — When my FA and I started dating, she said, “I’m afraid you won’t like me when you get to know the real me.” She was sweet, caring, thoughtful, and made a real effort to be part of my life. We were i…
I’m not sure how to process this. Idk if it’s my Anxious Attachment style acting up or if I’m being objective — Thoughts on finding this text exchange on my girlfriends phone? she was with a group of friends and at a bar and I guess she started talking to some guy there. I’m brown, she’s not referring to me wh…
We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…
How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…
Eat, Pray, Love for white men — Oof… White men really will turn their exploitation of Asian women into some philosophical search for oneself. Glad the comments are flaming him and the white patriarchy for exploiting vulnerable women…
I astral projected last night.. — I astral projected last night... What was your first experience? Here's mine: We arrived in Tunisia yesterday, had some sleep, woke up, yawned, and my nose started bleeding, only mentioning this bec…
Anybody else notice people in other countries tend to doubt that you're American? — So I've noticed to a lot of Europeans, White Americans will always be American and not European. But from my time going to other countries I had quite the opposite experience especially with Asians. …
Are Asian men at a disadvantage in dating in the US? — A asian guy with 185cm tall and 80kg, with above-average build and looks. I'd like to know if such Asian men are at the bottom of the dating market in New York, and what kind of white girls he could f…
Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…
Graduation outfit help — Hi guys, I posted here not long ago about what I should wear to my graduation in May. Well here’s a bit of an update! I bought red qipao that I wore during CNY and figured I could wear it during grad …
how common is it for 2nd generation asian americans who didn't really connect with their ethnic identity during their younger years to embrace their ethnic identity as they get older? — when i was younger i desired to fit in with whiteness yet with age, I became more embracing of my ethnic identity.
I almost shifted and i’m TERRIFIED — My friend told me about shifting today, and I decided to search it up on TikTok. I found it interesting, yet I didn’t believe it. I decided to try anyways, and I think it almost worked. I had my DR r…
Has this happened to anyone in a lucid dream before — So to make this short, I don't ever lucid dream becausei don't know how to trigger it. In my dream I just became aware I was in a dream randomly I was in an unknown city in an unknown shopping mall wi…
‘Bing’s Cherries’ rewrites the American tall tale through Oregon grower’s life — “Bing’s Cherries,” written and illustrated by Taiwanese American authors Livia Blackburne and Julia Kuo, is set for publication on March 10. **If you grew up in the United States, chances are the fol…
For Those Struggling With REBAL Build — [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhyR\_YzKMe0&list=LL&index=104](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhyR_YzKMe0&list=LL&index=104) Hey all! I wanted to share a meditation I use to form my REBAL. I thoug…
Rant about Asian American access to education in NYC — This is specifically about NYC schooling so YMMV and may not be applicable anywhere. But for context, NYC has these "elite" specialized high schools were Asian Americans disproportionately make up the…
A woman complimented my aura. — One time I was working in a second hand store, it was a very busy store so I was constantly on the go, putting things back, helping customers, etc. I was called over to help a lady who was looking a…
Dreamt the Sphinx had the head of a Goddess with a headdress. — Hello friends, Just wanted to share a dream I had two nights ago. For anyone who may be familiar with some of my experiences, you’ll know that so much of my journey has been guided by messages I have …
Behavior of Asian boys vs. White boys? — I've been wondering about a topic regarding EA and SEAsian boys, socialization, and racialization: do Asian boys behave differently from White (European, non-Latino) boys in any noticeable manner, and…
I hate it when Asians take advantage of other Asians to make sales — As Asians, we want to support “Asian-owned” businesses right? I rather buy in auntie’s more expensive mom and pop grocery store than a chain grocery store, if there’s a choice. Then there’s Asians wh…
I hate everything — I got threatened with marriage because I seemed like I gained weight through video call. And because I had the audacity to wake up late. And my brother is a piece of shit that sees nothing wrong ever …
Jesus loves a homewrecker... — That's the message I want to send to the steroid infused POS that helped break my marriage. He's such a sleazy scumbag and a Jesus freak. Like how delusional do you have to be to be a supposedly very …
Caught myself falling asleep and slipped into another OBE/AP (details + what helped) — So last night (11/3/2026) I had another experience. I can't say for sure whether it was AP or an OBE — I'm not sure if they are classed as the same thing or not. I’ll be looking into that later. Befo…
THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…
Movie List: Chinese movies where the antagonist(s) are racist/imperialist White/Westerners and get their asses kicked — I thought I would make a list of some Chinese movies(mostly martial art action films) where the main antagonist is a racist and/or imperialist white. These movies are all fun and feel good, and while …
Histories of Native American Treaties and Anti-Chinese Violence Win Bancroft Prize — Emilie Connolly’s “Vested Interests: Trusteeship and Native Dispossession in the United States,” published by Princeton University Press, examines the financial aspects of many U.S. government treatie…
“Asian Men Only Like White Women” Is So Baffling to Me — Preface: This post is about *women's perception* that "Asian men only like White women," not about who you should be in a relationship with . Of course, we shouldn't stop/discourage/vilify AMWF relati…
Contact Experiencer Jason Sands cited in online Newsweek posting concerning the disappearance of General Neil McCasland. — Newsweek News Article **Missing Air Force General Update: Gun Missing, Sweater Found** PUBLISHED MAR 13, 2026 AT 11:23 AM EDT Online Newsweek coverage of General McCasland’s disappearance quotes …
Crazy experience “timeline hopper” — I’ve been lucid dreaming since I was about 12/13, and I’m now 23. I trained myself into it years ago and now I lucid dream every morning which sometimes can be annoying because it affects my sleep. I’…
I want to leave America. What country to move to? — I am Filipina. It is 3 in the morning where I am, and I cannot sleep. I cannot do this anymore. What this country has become, the headlines, the racists (and most white people), are debilitating. I am…
House of Danube/Deneb & The Tuatha Dé Danaan — I have just had an unexpected and seasonally apropos experience with St. Patrick's day right around the corner. Meditating in a hypnopompic state yesterday morning I heard a man's voice speaking to m…
Asians in Sci-fi — Besides Bruce Lee and Kung-Fu movies, Hikaru Sulu (Played by George Takei) was my ONLY exposure to Asians in media as a kid. (I'm Gen X/Millenial) He actually didn't even have a 1st name in the show f…
Sunken Cost Fallacy — Married for almost 27 years. Got married at the ripe age of 19. Funny thing, I thought it was a mistake on my wedding night when he got out of bed to jack off because I was so exhausted from the long …
Why does Japanese video games and anime have white protagonists? — They could have had Asian protagonist and increased Asian softpower instead every anime and video game star white guys so embarassing
I've never attempted astral projection while awake, usually I do it by accident when I'm sleeping and I always run into these human -shaped white light creatures (I don't know how else to describe the…
i managed to do astral projection after 2to 3 months , i usually go to the gym alot and sleep alot , i would use an alarm for my second sleep where i stay still and let my body go , i will breath in …
hey dont do the rope thing it doesnt work , first , you have to be extremely tired first in oder to do it , you cant do it without feeling tired , train your body for a second sleep over , do …
yes eyes closed , you will be able to see while your eyes are close ,dont open your eyes when that happens , that means that you made it , you can also see your body laying there and the white cor…
yes , it took me like 2 months to master it , all i did was lay on the back look up and close my eyes , i would invision seeing myself fly around my neighborhood while doing this practice , , this ga…
I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…
1000%!!! And the egotistical rewrite of his OLD profile 🤮🤮🤮 He is def not getting anything of quality w that! So many red flags that i bleached white but NO MORE!
Reddit has been very clear that commercial apps like Apollo, RIF, etc will not be whitelisted on accessibility grounds. Seems like you’re the one not telling the whole story > “We’ve connected with …
Idk why you felt the need to say that when I literally wrote "often" but yes, exactly. Sometimes it is like you said, and also agreeing on it not being black and white.
If you want to talk, I invite DMs but I'm only here sporadically. I'm a healed avoidant. I say that, but it's not black and white. I measure now for mostly secure. I still experience the initial resp…
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Nuanced, critical, free thinking. Microlabelling and micromanaging to me are always signs of absence of precisely this skill. They are tools of oppression of inner conflict, wh…
as a person who found out in therapy that I have a black or white mentality and with excessive self-criticism this is extremely helpful
Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…
You're describing dialetical thinking, which is a really important tool when you are trying to move past black-and-white thinking. Being able to hold two truths at the same time is really important, e…
I’m not sure if I was starting to have a lucid dream last night or not, i had been a sleep for a little bit (probably a light sleep) and felt myself get pulled into a dream where i knew i was dreaming…
He could be like me (anxious avoidant) I run white hot at first and then turn distant once I feel a bit overwhelmed with life and my mental health.
You know avoidant are just people don’t you? A human who has suffered and who, SOMETIMES, reacts a certain way to being triggered. If you don’t want to date someone then don’t but don’t just label eve…
Keep that guard up. You losing interest is your healing, so make sure you don't undo it. She is not out of the woods yet - if work makes her so stressed out she is unable to communicate, I'd watch out…
That’s not what this person said. They are saying that being secure means recognizing when something isn’t working. You might be with someone who is attached insecurely, but if their actions continu…
This is definitely not true. You can still get attracted to them. Especially avoidants tend to be very charming, successful and if the person is smart or you share a lot of common interests, until the…
>People who are securely attached are often more than their attachment style because their behavior isn’t constantly filtered through anxiety or emotional defense mechanisms. They’re not performing sa…
Oh absolutely. He was mostly perfect in the beginning. I think the only thing keeping me grounded was I knew that the honeymoon stage would bring out the best of us and conflicts were what we needed t…
I really appreciate how you worded this and the quote! I do have a tendency to think in black and white and focus on the negative, it definitely applies.
I don't think so because attachment is inherently connection to another human. Humans who aren't perfect. There's a big difference to therapy with a human and when I vent to chatgpt for example. Thi…
Think what you want and swallow your poison behavior pills. It’s REAL medicine after all because a ‘doctor’ says it is - one who graduated medical school and a ‘residency’ and has a bunch of governmen…
No, not at all. But perhaps it’s also because I have BPD, so I have a black and white thinking. I’d feel anxious during the relationship because they might leave me for being hot and cold — not delibe…
Oh I see, interesting. I don't think he had BPD but he definitely would idealise me in the beginning and then devalue me in the deactivation stage. I definitely noticed his black and white thinking an…
"The last FA I dated shit tested me early on, dumping some not so flattering info about herself just to see how I would react." • Mine has done it throughout all 4 years! I faltered a few times, yes…
Hi everyone, I’m in my early 20s, and recently I went through my longest relationship so far — almost 2 years — with someone who is also my age, and has BPD. I have AuDHD on top of everything. Our rel…
Also, dating rhetoric can be very black and white and all or nothing. aka “you have to be 100% over her” etc etc
When it comes to friendships, I have felt this way sometimes. I think the best way to manage is to set healthy boundaries with your friends. Know what’s important to you and also how much capacity you…
Sorry this is long. I’m 27, I have only been on dates with like 10 guys in my life (I don’t understand why getting a date, let alone a relationship is so incredibly hard, but that’s a different topic)…
yeah that’s classic FA pattern - it’s not full “splitting” like BPD but it rhymes with it when safety flips to threat your brain goes black-and-white - love turns into danger so fast you can’t see nu…
That isn't splitting as typically used. Splitting is goob/bad, black and white thinking in the context of OP's post.
It’s on both of you. Personally he sounds more FA to me, based on the constant back and forth. But that is beside the point. You have a toxic dynamic. Both of you are acting out and contributing to ea…
"*Quiet does not equal danger.*" Oh gosh. Yes. I understand this. This is how my partner now reminds me to be assured of space, and with myself. What also helps is, both of our quirky nature and humo…
We are social animals. So even when we are not dating we still need to have connection in our lives. So how are you meeting that need outside of dating? Your romantic partner should not be your only f…
I’ve had two aspects of this come up in therapy. I’m kind of surprised how much I have to describe to my therapist about what Jonice Webb calls the Fatal Flaw—the conviction that there is something …
I am also anxious. I told my partner to leave in June, which was extremely traumatic but I'm sorry, I won't cohabit with anyone who is an apologist for the worst excuse for a human being on the face o…
I hate to inform you there is no set of rules to follow. The work that needs to be done is within yourself. Seeking out a set of rules is just more black and white thinking and that is not how life wo…
Rules….guidelines = same thing. Life is not that black and white. There are many variables that could come into play at any given time. There is no guideline that could cover them all. The key is know…
The thing is I do not know when I am doing that, so I just prefer GUIDELINES to make sense of the situation. example = If they ignore for too long, I can call them out without overreacting if I knew h…
How long did the intense grief + obsessive thinking last? The grief stopped when I allowed myself to understand what exactly I was grieving for. Was it that version of me, was it the safety, was it …
How do we manage the black-and-white thinking that often encourages a spiral? Went on what I (32F) thought was a great first date recently, we agreed to a second date in person on the first, then thre…
I haven’t hit 35 yet, though it’s coming. However, your dating experiences sound pretty standard. It seems like what you’re describing is a schism between how people present themselves on the apps and…
I have a different perspective 🙈 my country is shelled daily so all my social media feeds are full of black and white photos, so I guess I see it differently.
Text of original post by u/pineconewashington: Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we can…
I would like to note that I do understand what you are saying and get how Society plays a role. I think if anything, what I take issue with is its a little too black and white. That Instagram post is …
You absolutely did the right thing. The worst move is to nod along and agree to something you don’t actually mean. That kind of people-pleasing doesn’t protect the relationship - it slowly undermines …
Yeah, I thought about saying that too; I studied Spanish in college and grew up in Texas, but I’m a white girl so I wasn’t sure I hadn’t missed something cultural. Still, I’ve never heard anyone say t…