earned-secure

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

Therapy, self-awareness, reading books on the subject, journaling, it's not easy, and it's not immediate, but slowly you start to question some instincts you have and push through. It's the most unc…

I relate to this a lot. Therapy taught me there's this “myth of secure attachment” that secure people are 100% Secure™ all the time and once you’re healed you’re basically immune to messy feelings. Th…

get ready to cry a lot and get real uncomfy 💕 but it’s so worth it. i’m earned-secure now, and i’m currently in a really painful breakup with an old avoidant attachment figure from before i ever sta…

I guess I'm more earned-secure at this point (DA primarily for a long time though), and yeah I have my partner as my lockscreen, and it really surprised me when I made that decision. I used to keep ph…