looked

i was encountered shadow beings.. For me, astral projection was just a bs. until I unintentional left my body during a state of loop paralysis — I never believed in astral travel.. I always avoided the subject because I thought it was just a myth. Over the past year, however, I’ve been experiencing loops of sleep paralysis in one "sleep" in t…

Long road to dream job and instant healing. — Bestcub called me to write this, I hope it will be helpful to someone. A story like many others. After years of wandering around shitty loa and other stupid spheres, books and forums I finally start…

Why you should always schedule your job interviews in the early morning. — I got reminded today of a very important tip when you're setting up interviews. \>> Do not set up job interviews at the end of the work day. In short, there have been studies done on judges that sho…

Thought experiment – What if OpenAI had followed classic startup advice? I will not promote — Let’s have some fun with a thought experiment. What would OpenAI’s journey have looked like if it had followed all the usual startup advice from the Paul Graham / YC / generic playbook? Things like:…

Different Businesses Need Different Content Formats – Here's Why (i will not promote) — Hey everyone! One thing I see often overlooked is the fact that **not all businesses need the same type of content formats**. Depending on your target audience and the type of business you run, the …

Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…

Etsy integration that allows products not listed on my Shopify store? — Hi all, I'm trying to get started with Etsy integration with my Shopify store... Would like some suggestions on which app to use. I've looked around myself and maybe I'm misunderstanding how this who…

Adventures of a South African Engineer: Lessons from 3 Startups (I will not promote) — **Adventures of a South African Engineer: Lessons from 3 Startups** These are a few things I have come to learn while doing "startups," maybe it will help some entrepreneurs in their startup travels.…

Good user interviews? [I will not promote] — Hey r/startups, I've had some recent pain doing user interviews, and I'm wondering if it's something that can be fixed. Every tool I've looked at for help seems expensive, and tbh, pretty shit. I'd …

using AI for repurposing our pillar content generated 4 million impressions and hundreds of leads — I recently led a Reddit content repurposing campaign that got over **4 million impressions** and **hundreds of new user signups** for my client. Here's exactly how I did it. # Why Reddit, and why use…

Overlooked levers in the returns process — Been thinking about how to address refund requests—not returns logistics Everyone I talk to says to optimize logistics, improve product descriptions, promote exchanges, etc…I’m curious: Anyone make …

We Fired a Developer But Not Because He Was Bad, But Because He Wasn't Right. Only 2 Legit Reasons to Fire Anyone. (i will not promote) — After building a small team and running a startup for a while, We’ve come to a hard conclusion: There are only two legitimate reasons to fire someone. 1. They are not the right fit for the company.…

What are the Benefits of AI in eCommerce that actually influence why we buy? — I was reading up on how ai taps into emotions like FOMo urgencye or even guilt to push you closer to a purchase. and it’s not always obvious it’s subtle stuff like “only a few left prompts or remindin…

What is the best place to setup a subscription based business online? — Hi all- we are trying to start a subscription based business online! We looked into Shopify but Shopify doesn't seem like the best option for subscriptions. Any help is greatly appreciated :)

Theme Suggestions- simple, visual oriented, for events/non-profit — Hello! I run a small nonprofit that produces low or no cost music shows for the community. Part of our mission is to be as supportive as possible to the creatives "on both sides of the stage"... So w…

Services which don't quite mesh with devops — Hey folks, Do you have stories about teams or products which don't quite fit into devops? - for any reason. How did your org or you approached these? - At my current org (midsized insurance enterpr…

Backstage feels like a fools errand — The employee I replaced was promoting backstage and now its all my company wants to talk about. Recently I looked up the custom runner he had to develop in react to get templates to run bash scripts,…

Duolingo leader throws shade at r/UXDesign — You all might remember this thread a few months ago, [debating Duolingo renaming UX to “Product Experience.”](https://www.reddit.com/r/UXDesign/comments/1j3hvkw/duolingo_renames_ux/) The VP Mig announ…

Being a parent exposed everything bad about running a small business — Before kids, I founded and ran a small food delivery business for 5 years. It was locally loved, I had a steady stream of orders, and from the outside, it looked like freedom. But then I had my first…

Looking for WP setup: searchable listings + user edit access — I'm working on a project using WordPress and I'm looking for advice on the best **theme or setup** to make this work easily. # Here's the concept: * A **homepage with a search bar** where users can …

Log / Metrics / APM for SaaS Solutions with minimal / no Selfhosting — I'm currently looking into a tool for our developers to get metrics and logs from our Azure App Services and Azure SQL services into. I'm currently using Azure Managed Grafana for Alerting and Datadog…

Would you use an app to try on wigs virtually? — Just curious, if there was an app where you could see how different wigs looked on you before buying, would you use it?

The dismal state of WordCamps in the US — I used to enjoy attending WordCamps for learning, networking, etc. I even helped organize one in Providence, RI years ago. I looked at the [WordCamp Central schedule](https://central.wordcamp.org/sc…

I need a simple easy tip to fix a JavaScript error on my Wordpress blog — I added a page to my Wordpress blog and it was fine and today a command popped up stating that it’s the wrong json response error and I looked it up in the search engine and a few of the steps that we…

Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…

The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…

Thank you — I'm in one of the healthiest relationships I've ever been in, and this subreddit—along with my therapist—has helped me in a big way. I still get triggered, but I'm better at self-soothing and have lea…

We should keep in mind that its a spectrum.. — I realized something in my relationship and it is not much shared in this way so maybe it helps someone else I am anxious and my fiancee is avoidant. He is very introverted and trying to deal with hi…

Working on becoming secure has made me more susceptible to toxic relationships — I think. Here's the thing, I'm fearful avoidant, and before I was aware of attachment styles at all the moment a person I was interested in made me feel at all rejected in the slightest (took too lo…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

Should I meet up with my ex? — Back in November 2024, I went on a couple of dates with a guy from my friend group, “Frank” (41M now). Looking back, it’s obvious to me that he was a rebound, but I genuinely didn’t realize it at the …

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Getting over approach anxiety — A few days ago, I went to a local restaurant by myself to have supper. This cute woman with a pom pom on her toque was sitting in a booth across the way, with a couple guys that looked like they coul…

Netpun and crude oil — I looked up what happened when Neptune was in the same position as it is now. As we all know, we are living in interesting times. With the help of Wikipedia, I found the following: 27 August 1859: …

Thoughts on dating people who are legally married (but separated)? — I have a very close friend who has started dating a man who is still legally married. He's been separated from his wife for at least 6 months. But because I'm a total stalker, I looked him up in publi…

Did Saturn in Aries correlate with the “heroin chic” era of the late 90s? Wondering about parallels with today. — I had a random thought earlier today while watching some video on YouTube, and I’m curious if more experienced astrologers see anything in it. There’s a lot of discussion right now about the return o…

Saw the same man I've been seeing as a kid — I'm sorry about the use of A.I but my drawing skills are bad and I don't know how to explain this but I've seen this man in my dreams ever since I was a child. I remember seeing shows like Tom and Jer…

Experienced ego dissolution and timelessness while a friend spiraled into a bad trip believing we were communicating through “waves” — I wanted to share a recent experience because the contrast between my trip and my friend’s bad trip was extremely interesting, and I’m curious if others have seen similar dynamics in group trips. We …

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

I astral projected last night.. — I astral projected last night... What was your first experience? Here's mine: We arrived in Tunisia yesterday, had some sleep, woke up, yawned, and my nose started bleeding, only mentioning this bec…

Found out 10 year situation-ship has been married the entire time — I’m absolutely gutted. Sick to my stomach. We’ve (now 28F 35M) been on and off in a passionate, toxic, can’t-keep-our-hands-off-each-other “relationship”, and we couldn’t seem to ever stay away from…

F**CKKKKKKKKK — I don’t really have anywhere to say this, so I’m just putting it here. I was with someone for a long time who I truly believed was my person. From the beginning, there was just something about her th…

Any clue what could have happened? — I took a heroic dose of dmt last year. I had every intention to communicate with whatever I may have seen during the experience. I hit my rig until I couldn't anymore, I had been sitting on my brother…

I(F28) have to have a tough conversation with my bf(M30), but I’m scared. — We’ve been together 8 years this July. Not married. It’s been a point of contention. We’ve been in a pretty rough spot since last year, and honestly, it’s only gotten worse this year. I’ve realized o…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …

I (28F) gave my boyfriend (29M) an STD and I can’t stop feeling so ashamed and guilty — My boyfriend and I met on tinder a couple of months ago and everything has been so great. We get along wonderfully and we have such a good time together. I was sexually active with a couple of people …

Ran into my ex today with her new boyfriend and it hit me harder than expected — Earlier today I bumped into my ex in the city, walking hand in hand with a guy. The moment she saw me, she immediately let go of his hand, looked down at her phone, and sort of moved behind him while …

Hello I just had the weirdest dream and I don't know how to look up my specific type of dream and was so shocked I decided to come here and write. I remember going to sleep around 12:30pm after wakin…

Okay, thanks. About all I know in regards to this it's that I'm a Leo. Lol the post that you shared this link to I had asked my mom what time I was born and she told me 10:58 p.m.. I just looked at m…

Awesome thanks, I looked at the image too and it seems to make sense. At that point in time is that when I should try the visualization of exiting such as a rope or rolling out of bed?

Just a few questions here - I'm new to lucid dreaming. I garden quite a bit, so I can grow Artemisia douglasiana and a few other helpful herbs and make a poultice or something. I usually don't rem…

Hi everyone . Ive looked through your techniques for oobe and the thing for me is i can't see any ropes or any hand its all just blackness when i close my eyes.. What could i do ?

Hey there’s a Z code in the DSM 5 for emotional neglect, I’m sure. I haven’t looked but there’s a lot of different Z codes to help identify life circumstances, to give a bigger picture to the F code d…

I attribute my LD to the episode ‘What was in Blue’s Dream’ from Blue’s Clues. Home sick one day from school, watched this episode, dreamed that episode that night then not only did I know I was dream…

Can someone explain what the fuck just happened to me. I was trying to fall asleep and when i finally succeeded i woke up again at like 3 am i realised I couldn’t move it felt like i was moving but wh…

New to the group, and restarted my no contact phase…I really do want to talk things thru with him. He looked so sad when I got my things and said I’d miss you

Yes!!!! Once in one night, I kept getting pulled between here and “the other place”. I’ve been calling it that, assuming it’s another dimension or parallel universe. It was somewhere familiar but unkn…

Following the instructions, I was able to AP, however when I looked at my sleeping body, I noticed that my body was just a dark black figure with no discerning features, just the outline of my sleepin…

This is the way. My ex broke up with me last week on the phone before my dentist appointment. I had to cut the call short because I needed to make my appointment. I lied about watching a sad show on m…

We are manifesting all the time, every day! We manifest the things we experience by focusing on them. When you are focusing on something consistently you bring it into your experience. If you looked a…

You think you don't owe your partner, someone who's entered into a loving partnership with you, anything? That you can just walk away from that righteously, whenever? Sounds like a paltry, wispy comm…

I never said they tried, but who wants to find out that someone else emotional regulation depends on your constant presence. Again I’m talking about anxious attachment because secure people are secu…

Hey, really appreciate you sharing all this. That FA-FA dynamic can be such a rollercoaster—sounds like you’ve been through a lot and done some serious inner work already. Respect. Since you’re looki…

I am in the same boat. Had my FA (maybe DA? I never knew about attachment theory until her. She was extremely committed and IN. LOVE. for 2 years and was much more anxious and attached. Then she was j…

My lil cousin(20F) was having relationship issues- she is an avoidant and he is an anxious. I pointed this pattern out and she said, "My therapist said the same, does having this attachment mean I'll …

So he's great when he's not triggered, but he gets triggered every couple of weeks. That's not a rare occurrence, it's very often. Replace this with any other issue whether attachment related or not…

Wow, that’s… I mean, that’s seriously sociopathic behaviour. I can’t even imagine how you felt. It’s such a mindfuck. I hope you kicked him out and never looked back. What a toxic piece of bovine excr…

Ever looked into how ‘kubectl cp’ works and what basic Linux package is required to make it work?

Haha, I'm not looking for an applause, just sharing what worked for me. Maybe it might help someone else, maybe it might not. Anyhow, for me, bending over backwards would be to give into their needs …

Can you explain what it looked like and felt like for you when you were made responsible for their feelings and behaviors?

The health issues are spot on. Mi è had health problems SO VERY frequently, yet he looked super fit. I then started to slowly realize they would come up everytime he was overwhelmed with something (mi…

Have you looked into how you express your own avoidant tendencies? The way you're rationalizing behavior that is proven to harm relationships and people (e.g. silent treatment and witholding resolutio…

This is so confusing because the ones I wasn’t immediately attracted to in the past also ended up being trouble, even if I consciously looked for secure/stable. 😭

My last astral projection experience well it's pretty intense. I was going super sonic speed up into outer space beyond the cosmos and all of a sudden I heard a pop and my eye was opened and I was in …

Well, ideally, we would have a completely open conversation in which we both apologised to each other for hurting each other, and shared any of our own development that had happened since (& possibly …

Oh you mean that as we showed our true selves and you looked disgusted we shoved those parts of ourselves down, the way everyone does as children?

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

That last part is what happens with my partner. It hurts so much that she feels me trigger a core wound. She will retreat for a few days, usually 4 or 5 and then come back when she's regulated. She …

I couldn't agree with you more. Also sorry that you had to explain that to people via DMs. I know it's something you kinda get used to as a more self-aware avoidant on reddit but that doesn't ma…

Thats why I created my business, especially after me and my kids being abandoned by avoidants more than once. I did research into the regression rate and success rate for avoidance, which is unfortuna…

Wait, what do you do for work? I have not looked at the regression rate. I’m a couples and individual therapist, so I work with many insecurely-attached clients. The core corrective experiences and e…

This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…

With the hot and cold, and an avoidant checking out mentally and/or emotionally - how does one even know if the avoidant is actually wanting to be with them? When words and actions don’t align it righ…

Amen. I've read every comment up to now without commenting and while there has been some great insight on "how" to show up for an FA partner, the "what happens when they don't like it" insights are la…

My ex and I have been apart almost four months. I realize now I'm fearful avoidant. When we got together, I actually kind of didn't want to. I had left my last relationship a few years before and felt…

I think romantic relationships are a funny thing - and kind of special in adulthood because your body makes them feel crucial to your very survival - as it is when you must rely on parents when your a…

That’s kinda how I started, then I looked into different theories to try to explain what I had seen. I found the simulation theory, that led me to the matrix, which lead me to PP(he who shall not be n…

I'm leaning towards secure now, but was mostly anxious attachment with some very strong avoidant tendencies as well. All of my exes were avoidant. 2-3. You're missing a key component of avoidance, wh…

I would like to share my story too. An FA myself, I got into a relationship 4 years ago, and that too with an anxious type. I got highly triggered by her needy behaviour and fear of abanoment. She wou…

TLDR: Seeking advice re: Dismissive Avoidant 50F dumped my Anxious-leaning Secure self (53M) but posts her upcoming travel to our once-shared calendar.  ..... Yes, it was the classical Avoidant's int…

Thank you so much for this. Haha it made my eyes water. Tbh ya i had been putting the majority or more like all of the blame on me. I'll try to eat although it's really hard to, but as for seeking pro…

I probably have this attachment style, and I think my gf is dismissive-avoidant. I really do want this to work. I know some things I should work on. Open more advice. Specific question though, should …

What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…

When I find myself caught in an anxious spiral, these are the things I've found that help me most: 1) Get moving - I pop in my earbuds, turn on a true crime podcast to engage my brain, put the leash …

A big one for me is self advocacy. I usually tend to blame myself for any negative situation, but I learned that I can call out when my needs aren't being met, when my feelings have been overlooked. I…

Yeah, IPF seems to be the most straightforward way to change the old emotional imprints. I looked at IFS as well (it is also often mentioned in context of attachment trauma repair) but frankly it didn…

I think i fucked up.... So I (32F) just ended things with a guy (33M) that I've been seeing for 2 ish months. I cant tell if my anxious attachment style got the best of me or of there were genuinel…