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Citations (101)
I think you should look into Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B Rosenthal. You can read the book if you need it, but you can also just look up the basic tenets online. It breaks down how to comm…
Victim Blaming will not be tolerated — Hey all, Codependency can lead to a ton of behaviors and relationship styles that are less than healthy, but as we all strive to better ourselves and shed these old habits that no longer serve us, it…
Manifesting New Skills and Knowledge with the Law of Belief– Is It Possible? — Hi everyone! I’m reaching out to this amazing community because I’m diving deep into the Law of Belief and want to explore how powerful it can truly be.🙏❤️ I keep wondering—can this law actually he…
What web builders would you recommend in 2025 for simple websites? — **I**’m looking to build a few simple websites in and wanted to get recommendations on what the best web builders are at the moment. I’ve been working as a digital designer for over a decade but woul…
Website Rebrand and Redesign Advice — First Let me say: I have absolutely no eye for design. If it is more complex than a stick figure, I cant imagine it in my mind. However, I do know of already existing designs that I love and want to r…
5 Best SQL Books for Web Development - JV Codes 2025 — Welcome to the [SQL Books](https://jvcodes.com/category/free-books/sql-books/) section on [JV Codes](https://jvcodes.com/)! If you’re starting with SQL or want to strengthen your skills, you’re in the…
Ressources for designing complexe software — Hi, a lot of resources and guides online are about web design. For example, if you scroll through dribble, mobbin or just look up ressources, most revolve around how to build, design and create a good…
Should we use Grafana open source in a medium company — I work at a medium-sized company using New Relic for observability. We ingest over 4TB of data monthly, run 20+ services across production and staging, and use MongoDB. While New Relic covers logs, me…
Inappropriate Design Task — I recently did well in an interview and have been given the most wild design task to date that I was made to feel stupid for pushing back on and would like some opinions. I was presented with a 9 pag…
How to Wreck Your Career: a cautionary tale from someone who has 5 years of experience.. — Context:- I am a 31 year old UX designer with a masters degree in industrial design from one of the top design schools here in India. I have almost 6 years of experience on the paper of which I hav…
What is k8s in bare metal? — Newbie understanding: If I'm not mistaken, k8s in bare metal means deploying/managing a k8s cluster in a single-node server. Otherwords, control plane and node components are in a single server. Howe…
Upwind's Cloud Security CNAPP. Is it viable? — Can anyone share their real-world experience implementing Upwind's "Runtime-Powered" Cloud Security Platform? The promise of using real-time runtime data (I think they use eBPF sensors?) to focus onl…
How do you estimate the cost and effort for full ecom website builds? — If you’re building e-commerce websites for clients (Shopify, WooCommerce, etc.): → How do you usually scope the project? → Do you use fixed-price packages, custom quotes, or hourly estimates? I’m c…
Things to do with my non technical cofounder "i will not promote" — Hi all i will not promote So i have a startup / side business im working on, I bought a friend in as a cofounder as he's generally useful in going out making connections, someone to help with site …
Is WooCommerce the Right Fit for Your Wholesale Business? — If you're a wholesaler considering WooCommerce for your B2B operations, it's essential to weigh its capabilities against your business needs. Here's a concise breakdown based on insights from Qoblex :…
I built a VSCode extension that shows array sizes directly in your code—would love feedback from other devs! — Hey everyone! I’ve been working on a VSCode extension called **Array Size Extension**, and I wanted to share it with you all to get some feedback or maybe help out others who run into the same proble…
How should I go about looking for insurance for my home, auto and ecommerce business? — Did anyone have issues with getting insurance considering your business is located at your home? I have an at home ecommerce business and I also do gig work (Uber, doordash etc) as well. For whatev…
E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…
This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…
Rejected in the final interview after a month long process — This is honestly just a rant post, because I feel completely deflated at this point. I’ve been actively looking for a job for over a year now, moved to Spain three months ago to start a new life, and…
Should I move from Supabase to a self-hosted backend? — I’ve been using **Supabase** for my current app—mainly for Postgres, authentication, and storage. It’s been super convenient for getting started, but I’m starting to think about switching to a **self-…
Best low-effort analytics tools for Shopify optimization? I'm drowning in data... — I'm struggling to make sense of all the analytics data from my store. The native Shopify reports give me tons of information, but I'm finding it difficult to determine what metrics I should actually f…
What Platform Engineering Really Means (and How It Differs from DevOps and SRE) — Hey all, I just wrote a piece breaking down what **Platform Engineering** is — not just as a buzzword, but as a real discipline that’s emerging in many engineering organizations. 🔧 **Key takeaways…
UX/UI for advanced manufacturing equipment is horrible — First time posting in this sub - I’m a manufacturing engineer and just felt like I needed to point out an opportunity for any entrepreneurial UX/UI designers out there. I work in the advanced electro…
Combining MPA and SPA? — I'm creating an application for a construction company, enabling them to report about different sectors of the construction process (tender procedure, quality assurance, safety checklist, complexity,…
Struggled to Find Clients Until I Found My Niche. — One thing I’ve realized building my agency is this: most small business owners *aren’t* looking for some complex, “next-gen” AI solution—they just want the annoying, repetitive stuff *gone*. I’ve bee…
Nextjs is a pain in the ass — I've been switching back and forth between nextjs and vite, and maybe I'm just not quite as experienced with next, but adding in server side complexity doesn't seem worth the headache. E.g. it was a p…
What I learned building a quoting system for a construction company doing $10M+ a year — I recently finished a project for a construction company doing roughly $10M per year. They were quoting jobs using Excel and email threads, and while it technically worked, it was slow, error-prone, a…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…
Studying attachment theory — I’ve been studying attachment theory for a couple of months now, and I’ve only recently started to REALLY look into it. I started reading a book called Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for…
I thought they were very complex, but they were just emotionally unavailable — I can't believe I was so stupid.
I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …
Did your partnert felt like your mother emotionally? — I’m 26m and my partner 29f. We broke up almost a year ago but I cant cut my ties with her emotionally or spiritually . I dont want someone to be in her place so I don’t want to move on from her. Basi…
Have your thoughts on shrooms been somewhat like this? — Yesterday I first tried shrooms. I did 15g fresh, which you can expect to be about 1.5g dry ± I've tried acid 2 times before, which were very amazing, intense and long experiences. They theached me a…
DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…
You can be pretty and still fucked up. Attractiveness will not save you from this disease. — I am not model-tier attractive, but I have modeled for local brands and have a very unfulfilling "successful" dating life. Everyone in the internet, and in real life claims that attractive people "hav…
My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself? — Based on my limited understanding, having your sun and rising in Sagittarius signifies being outgoing, expressive, and freedom seeking. I couldn’t be further from that. I know other aspects in my char…
„Did you forgive them yet?“ — I stood my ground and said NO. — I opened up about my abuse to a 'spiritual friend'. His first question was: „Have you managed to forgive them yet?“ I said NO. And it's NOT my duty to forgive. He said „But forgiveness causes healin…
Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…
My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do? — TL;DR my girlfriend has reached a breaking point and told me she’ll consider being together but as of now we aren’t. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and met our senior year…
NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…
Did you guys ever felt like you didn't belong in America? — Hi. I am a 15 year old second generation American born to Chinese immigrants. I sometimes feel like I don't belong in America, heres why. I dislike football. I don't support Trump. I perfer Asian foo…
Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…
I think I’m genuinely stupid — As the title says, I think I’m genuinely a dumb person. When someone says “this guys is empty headed” that’s literally me. I’ve always known I’m not the most intelligent person, I deflect that by ta…
Starting over at 32, jobless lost 20s to sickness — I was diagnosed with a brain tumor when I was 22 and doing bachelors, tumor is benign but in critical place that really messed me up, health took a down ward turn with a lot of complications, i dîd no…
I was the husband who didn't do enough. Sharing my perspective — It wasn’t a single explosion but a slow grind between two people who couldn’t agree on what a "good life" looked like. For a long time, I was admittedly the husband who didn’t pull his weight, a chara…
THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…
Managing Guilt and Shame — Hi everybody! I'm tackling the superiority complex part of my codependency today and I realized some of the root of the problem. I've got some pretty bad negative self talk and it really comes out whe…
Reality transurfing is a bunch of balls. Some idiot says stuff using complex modern language and people believe it without thinking because they are addicted to things being complex. Posm is very s…
Already familiar with these concepts, but I enjoyed reading this. It is succinct. Reading your descriptions of learned helplessness, trauma, complex trauma and addiction made me cry too, from identify…
This is an excellent summary of something so complex. Bookmarking it for future reference.
It doesn't prevent people totally, but there are complexities to this practice, it is not as simple as it seems. Astral projection is inherently a spiritual practice and not always easy to control. Lo…
We can go to all sorts of different dimensions during OBEs, it all depends on your level of consciousness. I recommend these 2 videos to start understanding the complexity of them: https://youtu.be/H…
No, it is to do with you as an energetic being and your level and complexity of consciousness and also your own psychology. There are many things to consider.
a) law of assumption, not law of belief. And where did you get the other descriptions from? I've been on Neville sub for a while, literally noone describes the law in those words or speak in a spiritu…
*Can i lucid dream* *Without waking up in the* *Middle of the night* \- complex\_blacksmith94 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.…
I discovered that both statements work equally, it probably depends on how accustomed we are to the statement I think. Specifically how well we experience the meaning of the words we use. If we can us…
1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…
I did what you did.. except correctly 🫨 Not every one is drinking the koolaid. You’re attributing a few things you’ve seen on REDDIT OF ALL PLACES to a whole group of people. The silliness. There’s …
I have many, many personal anecdotes that prove our beliefs create reality. Some goals/desires achieved are beyond the realm of mere coincidence and far exceed a free cup of coffee. My response to th…
Just found this sub and consider it a safe place. My mother is a narcisist and my father is just there. I suffer from complex-ptsd from emotional neglect, and verbal,emotional abuse. I just recently…
Now THIS is the kind of conversation we need to be having. As a fearful avoidant who leans both anxious and dismissive avoidant I have to say I love this sub but I’m getting tired of the victimhood co…
What have you done to resolve your fear of commitment, your emotional unavailability and the inferiority complex? Why are you searching for excitement from a partner? What does that mean to you? Is i…
I don't think there's a simple answer here, but my personal experience is that if I'm deactivating before having sex with someone, then it's probably just a lack of attraction/chemistry. If I deactiva…
Both wonderful food choices! I love your outlook. We are complex human beings and the ONLY thing we can control is ourselves and our reactions!
Beautifully put!! We Re complex beings and recognising the duality of emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them, really does set us free!
You mentioned you were raised by a Narcissist. FAs usually have complex developmental trauma and this needs to heal for you to move towards earned secure attachment. Even if you are aware, FA tends t…
Totally agree with this. Perhaps the mechanism behind "BeeDee" is actually fear. We humans are complex but probably not to the level of this dissection. Some type of wounding creates maladaptive stra…
Plenty of other excellent advice here. In terms of cloud hosting: A lot of this is going to depend on your team, think about all of the people that will be managing this. What platform does your team…
Im sorry, but 80GB ingest/month is not medium company. 80GB/hour may be middle sized company. You are really looking for small scale/homelab sized solution. Worst part of grafana stack is loki. If yo…
The answer here seems pretty clear. Fix the app. There’s no point scaling until you’ve fixed it. DigitalOcean is more than enough for your needs right now. And be wary of using Kubernetes. It’s an inc…
Work on an observability team. I stood up grafana with influx, ran that for a few years, then we moved to a vendor. Grafana itself is pretty simple to run, it’s the backend data sources that are not…
Not a good metric. It's used by middle managers to justify their existence (my opinion), as it's as useful as counting github commit lines. Or bugs found and squashed. Additional process limits pro…
It's an interesting question with an interesting answer from someone more in the know than me. The main thing to point out is that during the rollback they are still delivering services on a signific…
24 hours makes sense when you consider their infrastructure scale. Rolling back ML models isn't like deploying a typical web app - you're dealing with massive distributed systems, model weights, and c…
VPC and Secruity Groups come to mind. I think the deployment complexity in terms of no VPCs, no of regions and no of accounts exponentially increases things to debug. Not to mention if you have multip…
There are good articles out there on scaling mariadb. Most of them start by understanding the mix of writes and reads. They end by softening the ACID constraints. Either by sharding and routing requ…
Hey there! I'm Josh, and I'm a **freelance copy and content writer** specializing in writing web copy for US-based SMBs and content such as articles and blog posts. Let me do what I do best--which is …
Web scraping on-demand service or web scraping software for your eCommerce. Projects of any complexity. - https://e-scraper.com/#freescraper - https://e-scraper.com/software/
At our shop, the dumber and more boring the setup, the more stable and automated everything becomes. Our "internal developer platform" is just a simple CLI: `./run-cli.sh deploy all/staging/demo…
A local container emulating Fastly would go a _long_ way for my workflow. Since Fastly is based on an ancient version of Varnish (2.x), there is no `varnishtest`, making TDD to avoid regressions and …
This is super impressive! I relate to that frustration with fragmented UK property data soooo much. I'm actually working on automating my own property investing workflow (tho not nearly as sophisticat…
Well to be fair, even tech-savvy adults get tripped up by email. That’s why the whole idea is to skip the complexity. Just open the app, swipe through clear photos with short descriptions, and if ther…
That’s a great question. I work with small businesses on automation and honestly, a lot of founders are still figuring out where agentic AI actually fits into their day-to-day. It's not about lack of…
Terraform! Specifically HCL logic. Don't get me wrong, I still use it, there isn't anything better... but on complex infrastructure with dependencies and conditional scaling is bad. I know, I know, I…
This is super impressive! I relate to that frustration with fragmented UK property data soooo much. I'm actually working on automating my own property investing workflow (tho not nearly as sophisticat…
Y’know, avoidant people are completely capable of healing their attachment styles and learning to stop fearing love within healthy and patient relationships just like anxiously attached people are. Yo…
I literally felt the same, and so needed a second opinion. Here's what Claude Opus 4 had to say (after copy pasting it): Why does this reddit post feel like an ad? My spidy sense is tingling: Yo…
Thank you for this eloquence and poignancy. Complex food for serious, contemplative thought.
I'm of the opinion that there is no free will, chemicals move in your brain and then a decision happens, not vice versa. Just like lungs expand to take in air for you to breathe and the stomach digest…
Yes I have had similar experiences though I think it’s when I am triggered (aka Pete Walkers book on Complex PTSD) by current experiences into some mood related to earlier attachment trauma
I think skepticism is always warranted. But I would make the case that psychological processes like cognitive dissonance and projection are likely magnified in insecure attachers. Plus some peopl…
This is so tricky and difficult for you to manage, because the message itself appears genuine and heartfelt. But remember the bigger picture here, beyond the words...this is someone who just pretty mu…
Thanks qgain for such in-deep advices, I really appreciate that. No, I don't know for a fact that she's a DA, that's just my conclusion from reading different online resources (includong this sub). Th…
I'm securely attached and I'm still dealing with the emotional turmoil from letting a FA in. It's one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life because the person actually understood many o…
People who are securely attached are often more than their attachment style because their behavior isn’t constantly filtered through anxiety or emotional defense mechanisms. They’re not performing saf…
>People who are securely attached are often more than their attachment style because their behavior isn’t constantly filtered through anxiety or emotional defense mechanisms. They’re not performing sa…
Thanks for that insight! >he would ask me “how are you doing?” In the morning. I didn’t know why at the time, but that question used to really annoy me. I can resonate with this. While usually I app…