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Citations (101)
I [28F] may have set my boundaries too high [32M] — I've been seeing this guy less than a week. We met 3-4 times in this week for short bursts of time. He expresses openly his affections/intentions whereas I am more reserved. He was respectful and did…
START HERE !!! — # Step-by step short guide r/Sbreggo So you just found this sub but you don't know anything about "The Gateway Experience", follow these steps and read all the suggested documents to avoid asking the…
Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …
Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means) — I last posted a variation of this a little over 5 years ago. We're a little overdue for a repost. --- You know how every Uber rating is right on the verge of 5 stars unless something's particularly …
I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…
Question for the template flippers out there - where’s the real money? — Genuinely curious - for all the devs who “custom build” sites that are clearly just recycled templates from ThemeForest or whatever the latest place is nowadays. Where’s the *actual* money coming fro…
Lately, it seems like every new client I get is either a weed company or a yoga/spiritual guru. — I’ll trade you for a good old-fashioned plumber or landscaper—seriously, I’m offering a two-for-one deal. Also, a friendly reminder: a yoga mat does *not* make a good logo background. And no, “Namast…
Announcement Regarding Community Safety — Dear SEO Members, We are reaching out to address a serious issue that affects the safety and well-being of our moderation team and our community as a whole. It has come to our attention that the CEO …
Need Help with SEO for medium-sized e-commerce sites — I own a medium-sized e-commerce website, and we’ve never really focused on SEO. Yep, we've mainly relied on paid ads, but traffic is getting more expensive, so we’re ready to take SEO seriously now. I…
Feeling stuck between a promo and burnout - advice? — I'm approaching 5 years at my current company (2 years as junior, 3 as mid-level) and am submitting a promotion case for Senior. I won't hear back for a couple months - my director feels optimistic, b…
Started a Pistachio Spread Brand in Turkey — Now Trying to Go Global (Advice Appreciated!) — Hey everyone, I’m based in Turkey and help run a family business that produces natural pistachio butter — no additives, no sugar, just roasted pistachios. It’s something we’ve been doing for over 15 …
What will it take? — Seriously… What does it take to land a UX role these days? My wife is graduating with her masters in UX from a good program but it seems that the industry is evolving and everyone is making it seem …
Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying? — Hey everyone, I’m at a bit of a crossroads and could really use your advice—even if it goes against what I’m currently thinking. Since I was 18 (I’m 20 now), I’ve been building websites just for fun…
Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying? — Hey everyone, I’m at a bit of a crossroads and could really use your advice—even if it goes against what I’m currently thinking. Since I was 18 (I’m 20 now), I’ve been building websites just for fun…
[I will not promote] curious does affiliate marketing still work for early stage startups? — hey folks just wanted to share something i’ve been building on the side i’ve been trying to grow an affiliate program for a while but finding the right people is tough outreach feels like yelling in…
Looking for solid affiliates (not random IG girls) — We run a women’s journaling brand with a strong psychology/wellness angle. Our affiliate program’s been live for a while, but most signups so far have been low-quality and not serious. We offer 30% c…
The whole I will not promote in post titles thing is just silly (I will not promote) — Seriously, what kind of weirdo implemented this rule. Feels like being in a first grade classroom with a strict teacher. Long time reader of this sub but it’s just such a random and weird thing to imp…
I’ve decided to go all in on my mental health tech startup — how do I fully shift from side project mindset to founder mindset? - i will not promote — Hi, I run a platform with digital tools to help people build mental strength and emotional resilience. Until now, I’ve treated it like a serious side project, but starting today, I’m committing to it…
Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…
How to Build a Site for Both Art and Ecommerce? — Hi everyone, I’m a freelance graphic designer and currently have my portfolio site on Squarespace, which also includes a small e-commerce shop for art prints. I originally chose Squarespace because …
Founders, Seriously, Please Don't Quit your Day Job (I will not promote) — I say this as a lifelong Founder who spends all his time trying to make other people lifelong Founders - **"Please don't quit day job" ... at least not yet.** Seriously, hold on to that steady incom…
What’s the smartest business to start today with $50k–75K? — I’m 18 and looking to start a serious business with a budget of $50K–$75K. I’m not interested in quick flips or side hustles. I want something solid and long-term. Ideally, a real business with a phys…
Freemium from day one, free trial, or free for first N users? — Hi all, I am building a productivity app where you can track anything from habits (e.g. Meditate on frequency basis) to events (e.g. Social Dance/Clubbing) to build routines and track what matters to…
I’m starting to panic 😨 — Ok I’ve ran an online boutique for about 5 years now but it has never been this slow. Then, I talked to my vendors and they basically said in order to avoid the tariffs, they will first ship to anothe…
2.5 million in fraudulent orders — I have a huge problem and Shopify has mentioned they cannot help and do not give refunds once processed. They insist there is no support phone number and can only discuss the matter via chat. My orde…
MySQL Database Quota Reached - Clean database — Hey everyone, I’m currently hosting several websites on SiteGround’s GoGeek plan which comes with 40 GB of web space. Most of my websites use between 1–3 GB, with one around 5.3 GB. However, one of m…
Proud of my results as a non expert and want to share and say thanks! — I posted about my SEO efforts about 5 months ago and I had such a warm response from everyone that I kind of wanted to provide an update. I had both shared my results and asked for advice on next step…
Its time to Grow India — I'm building a focused community dedicated to one purpose: building startups. In this group, we’ll exclusively discuss how to launch and grow startups, explore market trends, understand how to secure …
Solo founder here—bootstrapped a travel startup, no bookings yet. Influencer model failed, paid ads feel too risky. What would you do? — Hi everyone, I’m a solo founder of hopmytrip.com trying to build a travel group tour platform—basically fixed-date trips to places like Bali, Thailand, and Vietnam, where people from any country can …
Strange Issue with WPBakery Page Builder in Editor — 3 Admins on same WP Site (site is up to date). Editing or Creating new Page -> 1 Admin sees WPBakery Page Builder Header etc. - the others don't. In Browser Dev Console nothing to see. Tried it via …
Scaling a Faceless YouTube Channel into a small business. — Around a Month ago, I started mentoring a few people on how to start a YouTube automation channel/business with no real launch, just looking to help a handful who was serious about building something …
Overtraining and being effective — Wanted to share about a recent breakthrough I had in being effective and getting things done. Like many of you, I believe that being physically fit is a huge part of operating at peak efficiency. Whe…
If you're sending ALL paid traffic to your homepage, you're burning money - here's why — I see this constantly: businesses dropping serious money on paid ads - Google, Meta, Instagram, only to send traffic straight to their homepage. Then they’re shocked when the cost per lead is through…
What would you do? CEO wants me to become the company’s front-end dev. — I am the sole product designer for a corporation which includes 5 companies and 2 CRMs. I just had my first yearly review - glowing feedback, nothing but exceeded expectations. And then it happened… m…
Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…
How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating? — I (M,21, Secure) and my *girlfriend* (F, 21, DA), been dating for 6 months (however both agreed to not proclaim it a relationship yet) and right about 6 month mark she began deactivating (sudde…
Anyone Else Feel Relationships just Aren't for them? — Hello all, I'm basically pretty severely A.P. , & so far I've been unable to get close to anyone (romantically) in my life without just exploding with terror that I'll be abandoned (or feeling a stro…
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…
This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…
For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…
I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…
I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …
Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…
Recovering DA trying to reconnect with FA wife — For context: * I (40M) am a DA, my wife (41F) an FA. We have three children. * Together for 17 years, married for 13 years, distant/no-touch for over 10 years but stable and no deep conflicts. * Cont…
What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…
Global Policy Journal: “Don’t look up?“ – Why it is past time for serious holistic research into Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena — Karin Austin, Michael Bohlander and Kimberly S. Engels have contributed an excellent article to the Global Policy Journal. Two of these people I've met personally and they are experiencers who are doi…
First Time Serious Connection With an Avoidant — I was in a relationship with an avoidant for around 3 months and everything was going well and we weren't moving too fast in my opinion. We had gone on dates and met each other's families. They had be…
How do you tell whether you need to push through the avoidance or if you just don’t like them as a partner — I feel silly asking this but I’m in my first serious long term relationship and I’m struggling so hard. I get very paranoid that it’s not meant to be because I feel so insanely avoidant. Like what if …
Just a few questions Mr Moonbeam. If you are so against the “act/live as if” what do you have to say about Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden and Dr. Bruce Liptons, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Eckhart Toll…
>Who do you think you are? Neville's method are the best! Joseph murphy's techniques were also good but required lot of work , but neville just said you to imagine and later in his lectures he did sai…
Instead of writing them I use the notes app on my phone and voice dictate my dreams. Keeps them organized by date and I do it right when I wake up. Don’t wait because for forget small details. Like…
I guarantee you that dreaming and precognitive or prophetic abilities are connected. I knew how long it would take for Kurt Cobain to die and even that it would be specifically him when I was 7 and 1/…
I've asked two different entities, and they gave me partly conflicting answers. The self-proclaimed deity said most humans and all animals go to an enormous astral...warehouse waiting room thingy. Th…
Is it possible for multiple “travelers” to converge in one place? Not sure if it was AP, but if it was then it was accidental. May have been a crazy dream, but I’m looking for an Elijah from Detroit. …
He's a serious narcissist. It comes through. Better off leaving this sub.
Ze's saying within 5 years of a serious betrayal, like cheating, not within 5 years of marriage. Your statiatics are for marriages in general (this is a good demonstration of why it's generally a good…
They took the Ellis Island poem too seriously - “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore…” We’re a country of legal immi…
r/decidingtobebetter is not therapy. If you have serious issues like that, go seek therapy. This sub is for mundane issues such as "I want to stop being lazy", etc, etc. Also, a lot of people are not …
1. That doesnt disprove anything. It just means it may be more difficult. That's like saying mindfulness doesn't work because some people have ADHD. 2. Decent point but keep in mind some scientist …
I’m seriously waiting and looking forward to it.
You’re the only one I ever see mentioning coffee 😂I get you’re trying to be cute but I haven’t heard it once. I’m asking about *you*. Not anything thing in any sub. There are dozens of success storie…
“If it’s isolating me, that would be my own doing” lol. You are brainwashed and in a cult. You sound exactly like the people in Jonestown did before they drank the kool aid. Cults have nothing to do w…
I’m sorry to hear you had an experience like that. I do think my current relationship is a little more consistent than what you’ve described. We see each other usually at least once a week, more if we…
FA leaning more towards DA here, when I’m dating and we spend a lot of time together or talk/text a bunch I typically take time to myself after. It can be pretty overwhelming “dealing” w my partners i…
Do you feel like its much harder to start healing while in a relationship as opposed to being out of it? Diving into a serious relationship very fast, I realized I have a lot of issues with avoidance…
Seriously. I've seen more avoidants that wake up to their own issues than AA's ever do. Like, it's 50/50 folks, everyone has to do their own work. Wake up and see how your own behavior ruins your rela…
Hey, really appreciate you sharing all this. That FA-FA dynamic can be such a rollercoaster—sounds like you’ve been through a lot and done some serious inner work already. Respect. Since you’re looki…
They are pressure! For me there's a no presents please rule unless we're somewhat serious. After that presents are actually nice because there's a connection to appreciate.
Interesting that you have this experience and your therapist is suggesting that you’re now leaning anxious. I wonder how often this happens with DAs that are becoming secure, such as yourself. In m…
I disagree because I think long distance can work. I've seen it work. But I agree that the time lines are different. I'm seeing a guy long distance. We aren't dating, we aren't exclusive, but I hope…
As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise. I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…
Wow, that’s… I mean, that’s seriously sociopathic behaviour. I can’t even imagine how you felt. It’s such a mindfuck. I hope you kicked him out and never looked back. What a toxic piece of bovine excr…
I had something kinda similar happen recently, and I totally understand why you're hurt over it! I can't even imagine that situation, honestly. Mine was different (and still is) because we met online …
If it's an associate level role, then you should be fine. You have software experience, (and assuming everything you said above is accurate) you expressed a basic understanding of the technologies, a…
Fair play, I’m so happy for you. I’m also a sysadmin with decade of experience with Win, Mac and Linux, and have been helping out my company with devops stuff every opportunity I get (pipelines, ter…
In 2024 I think stack overflow had an april's fools joke about a subscription based model to get access to all answers. I always said, if they're serious, yeah I'll get one
I have found reddit to be possibly the worst place to ask these questions. You pretty much always get the same answer. regardless, someone always says " vending machines" and " pressure washing" Th…
Someone’s gotta be on the other end. He might be pushing, and looks like he usually is, but you’re pulling every time you entertain him. Because most people wouldn’t keep letting him in again, which y…
Hey, love the initiative! I work with a lot of entrepreneurs (I help ADHD founders scale their businesses) and having an accountability partner is genuinely one of the most underrated success hacks. …
Hey. Interesting write up, it has some good references and shows some good understanding on modern software security. Though there are some parts I would critique for feedback: >Another layer that …
No intention to offend, but unless you have the trauma that leads to avoidant behaviors ofc you wouldn't be having the same experience as him. Anxious is not better by any means. I'm disorganized so I…
Taking space from a group of friends during a prolonged outing (like in OP’s case): “Hey guys, I’ve had a great time but I’ve been feeling like I need to recharge my introverted batteries for a while…
This. How I became insecure 🙃 Dating someone who pulled the eject lever two years into a serious relationship, out of *nowhere* then yoyoed me for several months before ghosting. It made me doubt my …
I can't ever develop anything for people I meet online because my attraction doesn't grow that way. If I meet someone, like their vibes, and there's chemistry, I'll like them. On an app? It's appearan…
Yea, it was a daily check. She said she felt it to be harmless and that she had ample time to do it. It didn't feel confrontational to her. It was just a simple prompt and all you had to do was choose…
This type of attachment can even make those who are secure anxious. See where it goes trust your gut, but you really have to be serious about leaving if she falls back into the same old pattern. You c…
Got it. Was not expecting her to share something vulnerable, I draw a line in shallow connection & up until 6 months it was casual banter. I need serious invested friends, not those who are there just…
Got it. I only need serious invested connections. Six months was it. Her silence told me everything 🙂 but lack of even acknowledgment was maddening. As she seemed avoidant, initiated another interact…
I think you should market this... I probably would have used this. I had a situationship I was desperate to hang onto. I gave so much space, barely pestered, got on his same wavelength of taking the s…
Thank you, I take notes for euphemisms. My ex DA used to minimize everything and make it look like its nothing. Dismissing & criticising my feelings too as if it was the biggest sin to have emotions. …
Tbh I look for someone who is able to understand my POV when I tell a story, means show empathy not dismissing/judging, someone who is able to reassure me when I have my doubts, someone who doesnt tre…
Yeah, I think it hurts extra hard when you considered them a friend and knew what they were capable of acting like and just chose not to at a certain point. I’m aware that I was likely a “rebound” or …
Well, if you're into them, that's the first sign. It'll be tricky to differentiate between DA and secure for you because they'll both feel like they're moving at a reasonable pace at first, but a DA i…
I had gotten divorced a year prior to meeting him and that was what really triggered my wanting to change. My ex husband and I are still close friends but I really messed it up by being avoidant. We a…
You seem young, my advice to you is to go see a therapist and explore why you get afraid and panic when people get close to you. Just because you cannot consciously believe you have no trauma does no…
This one is loaded, and I really feel it. As someone who's actively working through avoidant tendencies, I’ll say this: therapy *was* a must for me. I get the hesitation—there’s stigma, fear of being …
Thank you for this eloquence and poignancy. Complex food for serious, contemplative thought.
Wow you have completely summarised my own experience perfectly. This was my last serious relationship to the letter! Thank you so much. I've been spinning mentally for a couple of years now not knowin…