the talk

The role of parents is so underrated and important here. Too many Asian immigrant parents don't talk about race with their kids and even choose to settle down in very non-diverse places or minimize th…

Is AI Applicable Everywhere? — Currently working in the tech space for the mining industry. Core product I work on focuses on workflows and tasks for ground and office staff to complete. Such as verifying CAD drawing, sign offs and…

Writing about my experience with Iboga medicine 🌱 — Earlier I made a post and someone commented that they didn't want to watch a video. Understood! Here is an account of what I saw during my time with ceremony number one with iboga. It was not what I i…

He got into a relationship the very next day!! — Hi, me and my ex were in a relationship for 5 years and know each other for almost 5.5 or 6 years now. We had a very loving and truthful relationship. We were genuinely very close, emotionally, me…

Close Friend Unicorn hunted my girlfriend while we were still together. I wish I wasn't worried about her. — The guy encouraged me to date her. Was my confidant during the talking stage and told me he wanted the best for me. Meanwhile he set himself up as emotional support for her and started slowly pursuing…

I [33F], am tired of being the family mediator for my [50+] parents, and my youngest sibling [18] — As the eldest daughter, I’ve always been used to being the mediator for my nuclear family whenever there’s been an argument, a discussion, etc. Now as an adult who’s in therapy and working on boundari…

He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…

What exactly we humans are looking for ? — Had this question in my mind after my horrible breakup , what are humans doing when they think they looking for love ? My ex broke , now she will go to some other guy some day , repeat the whole i lo…

He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…

I said, I need time to process.. — ... but after a week I am still confused. //edit: thanks guys, I needed this. For some reason this guy kept popping up for me, even though I've been meeting other people and am quick at cutting cr…

Mist woods from childhood inside a dream — when I was a kid maby 4 or 5 I got a nice red bunker and i loved sleeping in the top bunk it made me feel like I was someone important i have a few weird storys in that bed all very short exept this…

Dream life mist forest help — when I was a kid maby 4 or 5 I got a nice red bunker and i loved sleeping in the top bunk it made me feel like I was someone important i have a few weird storys in that bed all very short exept this…

POC solidarity as an Asian — Firstly I would not like for this post to derail into other non-Asian POC hate, and I know this is not ALL non-Asian POCs being this way. I know this bc my own non-Asian POC (Black, Indigenous Blak, P…

my (m30) bf is convinced I don’t take care of myself (25f) because I don’t eat meat — This has been going on since I can remember. We have been together for 9 months, moved in together after 2 months knowing each other- very fast moving & loving relationship. I have never lived with a …

The older I get. The more furious I am. The grieving process can be one hell of a rollercoaster sometimes. — I just had my birthday a few days ago. Here I am 26 years old and the older I get, I just don’t understand how someone can be this way. I’ve been NC for 2 years next month so I’m pretty chill, mostl…

I'm free! — Just wanted to say that I'm finally free and got my closure while also going no contact. Yay!! They faked a cancer announcement to get me to go home and "talk", the talk quickly became ugly and i got…

I (24F) found my FWB/BF's (26M) tinder account after we agreed to become exclusive. Help? — I want to ask about a situation I’m going through right now. I (24F) met a guy (26M) in my martial arts class. We met at the end of November 2025, we hadn’t been friends prior, we just acknowledged ea…

First person telling of a intelligence coming into existence. — I recorded this as a raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness while high. At some point, it started to feel like a separate “consciousness” emerged—something that believed it had just come into existenc…

is it some sign? — some really weird thing is going on with me alright. So i know this guy from my childhood and we used to play in groups but obvio we were not close, later i shifted from that place and he did too. I h…

is it some sign? — some really weird thing is going on with me alright. So i know this guy from my childhood and we used to play in groups but obvio we were not close, later i shifted from that place and he did too. I h…

confused if i [24NB] should break things off with the girl [23F] i'm talking to? — tagged nsfw for mentions of abuse (verbal and physical) long one, just gonna get right into it. i, 24NB (afab), am currently talking to this girl, 23F, who also has/had a fwb. we're both african amer…

I (22 NB) messed up with (21M). What can I do now? Any advice? Any future? — To preface this, me and this guy were not official. We had been seeing eachother for a month or two, but I could see us going somewhere. We never clarified if we were exclusive and we went around tell…

I (F43) want to know if my expectations are unreasonable. — I really struggle with the current state of dating culture. It feels very influencer driven and honestly, it is exhausting. I miss when there was more independence in the early stages of dating. When …

situationship that lasted almost two years chose someone else over me, yet i still decided to date him — Hey guys, i would like to get some advice from you on how to work on attachment issues so i could avoid **this kind of thing** happen to me again. I am very mentally exhausted honestly. I (26F) …

On my last limb here. — To make this easier to understand im the youngest of four silbings two girls two boys, my eldest brother lives in the states(secret love child my dad had), my other brother lives on a different island…

I (26F) paused my engagement/broke up with my fiancee (28M) because he didnt stand up for me against his racist family. now i want to either leave the UK, is that a bad idea? — Hallo everyone. I (26F) posted about this a few days ago on AITAH but my post was deleted :/ I explained how I'm Polish and have been in the UK for 4 years with ex (28M), he's from here. this is shor…

Denied access to the moon — Spontaneous projector reporting. So it's been a while since I've had a projection and I had a cluster of them today! Really fun, I got out three times consciously during a much needed nap. The last o…

I 18f am overly concerned that my boyfriend of seven months 18m is insecure. What would you guys advise. — Hey guys, this is a bit of a long one and I just needed some advice from people older than me. I don’t have much relationship experience and I have been struggling recently, so I came here. Anyways …

The mom who won't allow me to stand up for myself then watch me get victimized. — All throughout childhood, it's their way or the high way. You're never allowed to talk in edgewise or else it's "talking back". You're also only allowed to listen and obey. You can never do anything c…

How do I (35F) tell my dad (70F) we want to severely limit time with his wife (70F)? — My dad got remarried a few years ago to a woman who is, without a doubt, the most mind boggling and frustrating personality I've ever dealt with. While she has welcomed us into their home and cooks fo…

My family has made me not want to eat or look in the mirror anymore, and I got kicked out of the house for saying no to Ozempic and beauty surgeries. I am allowed back in again but... I can't look at my family the same way anymore. What do I do? — I have been kicked out before when I was much younger and my mother started freaking out and yelling, but this situation... I couldn't do it. I can't seem to move on from this one at all. So, we were…

I went from feeling everything, to nothing, and now I don’t know what to do with myself — I(31f) am going to separate from my partner (35m) of 9 years later this year. He’s deployed right now, knows that this is something I’ve been feeling, but accepted my offer that I not tell him if I re…

Me (M) ex (F) reached out after 4 months NC to return "stuff". We walked and hugged, but she says it’s complex. Need advice. — ​ My ex and I were together for a year. We both have kids from previous marriages. She is currently navigating a divorce from an extremely controlling and abusive ex-husband. Last October, she…

25M have to beg for sex to my 26F gf — My girlfriend and I started dating in January 2023 when we met in college. At the beginning, everything was great; our relationship was strong and our sex life was active (we were having sex at least …

Did I make the right choice ending things with my situationship? — I'm writing this post an ultimatum to myself that I won't think about this anymore. I (24 M) found myself falling in love with a (23F) and ended up having a situationship with her which I ended recent…

I (23M) am in the talking stage with someone (22F). I need some advice on whether this is a slow burn that I should give a chance or let go? — I was set up with this person who lives about 3 hours from me. She is very ambitious and successful and I was instantly attracted to that about her. She is super bubbly and friendly too. We are also q…

Update #2 of Wife Cheated on me in Jamaica. — It has been a while since I posted on this forum, or at least about what's going on with me, I feel like I have enough to make an update. To everyone who is new or needs a recap, last year I got marr…

I (23F) have a hard time biting my tongue when it comes to my (23M) boyfriends procrastination — My (23M) boyfriend and I (23F) have been together for 2 1/2 years and this is both of ours first long term serious relationship. We’ve been living together for 6 months and we just signed to re-lease …

You're welcome to ask. A lucky strike - that sounds just like an LOB effect to me, haha. Also, to answer "a gambler high off a win", I didn't specify my wins in the above pouncemonial, though have a …

I have anxious attachment but I get over people very quickly if I feel their interest wane. I think U could have a bit of romance/fantasy addiction. For people suffering that, they tend to fantasis…

You're absolutely right to question. This is such the norm in the dating scene, it's crazy! From my experience, what I can say is that you're definitely dealing with a DA type here. Idk if you got int…

This is interesting. my ex was fearful avoidant, and she broke up with me just after 12 days of coming in relationship, and mind you the relationship was at its best at that time.  I'm a secure guy,…

If it's an rship, I will personally ask after my third initiating: "How come you never initiate things?" And give them a chance to do so. If they follow through, well and good. If they start slacking …

I can tell you my experience. I have been in a close to 7 year relationship with a BPD ex girlfriend, quit that one more than a year ago, if you know the dynamics you know that's a huge slap in the fa…

The perspective I'm operating from is very different to yours, so it's hard to say. I'm rebuilding with my bf of almost 2 years and slowly working through distance the way I told you. He makes progres…

Long text but I would really appreciate any advice and support 💗 TLDR in the end. I'm meeting up with my avoidant partner after he shut down at the mention of a problem. So my partner (21m) and i …

Because they're probably in the talking stage with multiple people, and they likely found someone who they think they have a better connection with or are more attracted to. Or they were already on th…

Thanks for the talk back to reality! I guess I was in internal conflict cause I don’t want to be her friend and since I have to be at the shared hobby, my mind was saying she is a friend at least in…

Hi guys, I've been single for a while, I'm a little insecure, and I've been currently thinking about just socialising with unknown women through the day when I am out, but starting to talk to them is …

A lot of people are given the advice to keep their opinions open until they’re in something official. It’s possible he was seeing her but they hadn’t had ‘the talk’. The planning of this date could …

Interesting timing,I have gotten in conflict with my partner about this. We have been seeing each other for a year now. On most weekdays, because we live half an hour apart ,we chat on the phone al…

How exactly does our culture *reward* hyper-independence? I don’t think all discourse makes such a definitive line in the sand as to how it relates to “needs” or “withdrawal”. Such topics are highly s…

She doesn't sound ready for a relationship. While I don't think grand declarations and gestures are necessary, and calling someone the LOML after 7 months is too much, everything you feel and want is …

Why does it feel like no one wants to do the talking stage anymore and just wants to jump directly to sexual talk/phone sex? This is exhausting. Just ask me questions and get to know me pleaseeeee

I'm not sure if people understand that small talk is a good way to do a little vibe check for safety reasons among other things. I'm not a fan of being penpals forever but the talking stage is importa…

The talking on the phone everyday for 30-60 minutes is a LOT for not dating someone. It sounds like he’s getting his girlfriend energy fill from you without any of the boyfriend benefits for you.

A question for the shyer / more introverted daters…. I’m super bubbly, chatty, energetic, “too much,” etc personality. I sometimes go on dates with men who are more introverted/quieter/shy, and end u…

I hear you. Years ago, I tried this in a very small city and it wasn't great. Later, in a big city, I also tried speed dating and I quit when I ran into the same people.... That said, somewhat recent…

Another day, another convo that turned sexual. I know that I probably sound like a broken record at this point. I was really excited about this one, though. He’s not a guy I would typically go for, …

Everyone’s different of course, but for me personally I like to save activity dates for the 2nd or 3rd (depending on the person as well). First dates are more of a vibe check with zero expectations. I…

I’m two weeks into the talking stage. The sex has been amazing. We see each other twice a week, sleepovers on the weekends. We’re aligned in values, faith, goals. I can’t get over how well connected w…

Wait, lol, does the talking stage still continue if you've moved onto sex and sleepovers? Sounds nice anyways <3

Sex and you are still "in the talking stage". What?!

if coitus a part of the talking stage, i dont know then what stage ive been in with women ive dated for the past 4 years?

Oof that sucks :(. As the other posts said, it seems like it's already over but you might try to talk to see what's happening. I feel like I'm going through something similar with a good but more rec…

No we did not have The Talk but did talk about looking for something more steady on the first date and that's all. It's true that my schedule was unfortunate. I also think it's a conversation to hav…

Rant: the talking stage is so awkward and it feels like no one knows how to have a real conversation anymore. I know I’ll find someone that does, but dang it. Rave: I got a new water cup that has ca…

That seemed a bit much after a first date (from her part) if you didn't know her before, doesn't it? I feel the sting, I'd probably get excited too, and yeah, answering should be the minimum, but I g…

Actually, days before Iran was saying that they would capitulate to US demands on an agreement. It was also leaked that Generals and JD Vance were urging the President not to go all in (which the VP h…

Rant/Advice. My anxious attachment ended a potential relationship in the talking stage itself. It hurts enough now but I'm glad it ended before I invested myself further. Get therapy/self help, fell…

I know Brene Brown has her issues, but some of the talks and books she has written has really helped me. Check it out!

Can anyone tell an autistic man how to even get to the talking stage? I get first dates semi-frequently and, without exaggeration, every woman tells me afterwards that I am nice, but that she's not fe…

Yes I’ll work up to the talk. I enjoy myself so much with him. It’s hard to be like “stop let’s talk serious”. He does show me he likes and respects me. I enjoy yappers as well as I enjoy listening bu…

Yeah, thats a sign. When my ex was in love with me, I didnt realize but he would keep a long running note on his phone writing down every little thing I said I liked, or where I want to go etc. Then h…

Im on day 30. There have been some contact since she left, but everytime she reached out and with hearts in the messages. We lived together, so she had to come pick up some stuff from the apartment. T…

broke up w my avoidant ex in Jan and it wasnt exactly clean and not on my own accord. That is the toughest part, not being able to move on entirely. While we had a talk eventually, it also comes with …

I agree that this is a smart decision to end things if you’re not getting what you need out of a relationship. Does he call you his gf? Have you had the talk about where things are at and where they a…

A follow-up to [yesterday's rant](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1rp2j9j/comment/o9i6pir/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) b…

I assume these are trivial reasons, for those of us not up on all Seinfeld lingo? Can't say that it's ever happened to me. Most likely though there were other reasons and some little quirk just put it…

I don't know how relevant this is, but in my late 20's when I was using dating apps, I was in the talking stage with a guy and went on one date. The date went.... well, ig. Nothing significant to note…

Nope you are not crazy, but take some advice: Before you have the talk with your wife about divorcing make sure you are ready for all of the repercussions . You'll need to explain it to the children, …

When I talk to my therapist, we discuss that therapy is really just holding up a mirror to your own situation. My partner has not been interested in therapy for herself at all - we even had a joint se…

You need to align more in the talking phase. I wouldn’t even go on a date if I didn’t think my politics were in the same spectrum along with values. You need to figure out how to filter this out ear…

lol my boyfriends mom gets me at the door. Usually overwhelming yelling/crying/hugging. Then the talking/invading starts and doesn’t stop. Followed by extravagant gift giving of irrelevant things we e…

You will find pieces of it scattered throughout the chart. The home you build together shows up in the 4th. The way you first come together lives in the 5th, along with romance, children, and even the…

A virgin? It's possible. If I wasn't having sex by the end of a month and 4 dates within, I'd be asking questions. I do realize everyone has their own pace, which is fine. This is bordering on inexper…

Unfortunately my dear you literally baby trapped him, so it makes sense that he’s unhappy. I think since you’ve already tried focusing on yourself (and keep doing that) it’s time to sit down with him …

My son just turned 18 and I don't know what he could do to make me disown him. They want to talk about not natural. THATS not natural. It almost feels like the end of Joe Dirt when he meets his f…