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r/raisedbynarcissistsUpdated 30 days ago
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What are some double binds you remember from growing up?

You've actually explained it well--and I study trauma because ironically I went through years of therapy, wound up studying it myself (and got qualified) and now get very aware of therapy done badly i…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/11/2026
Talk to my CIO or nah?

Talk to my CIO or nah? — Context: I’m a junior devops engineer who reports to the Director of my team directly. Director’s boss is the CIO who joined 4 months ago. I want to reach out to the CIO to hear his insights on career…

r/DevOpspost5/7/2025
Did your Narcissist gift you a " Trash " gift?

Did your Narcissist gift you a " Trash " gift? — My Nmom would gift me the most ugliest things to wear just to make me look bad in front of other people, to the point where I wore something she gave me and I would find out I was being laughed at by …

r/raisedbynarcissistspost3/8/2026
My mom who disowned my for being gay is ready to forgive me, oh and for me to financially support her and my dad after he retires of course.

My mom who disowned my for being gay is ready to forgive me, oh and for me to financially support her and my dad after he retires of course. — I don’t speak to any of my family anymore because they disowned me for being gay after i was outed. It hurt at the time but honestly the more time i spent away from them the more i realized how awful …

r/raisedbynarcissistspost3/15/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this? — So I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years now. We’ve had our ups and downs and have started to go to couples therapy (and we’re still going), trying to figure out our relationship.…

r/relationship_advicepost3/29/2026
lost my friend and my money and my crush likes to play games with me

lost my friend and my money and my crush likes to play games with me — Idek where to start because everything feels like it’s collapsing at once i got scammed and i feel stupid and worthless. i was just trying to sell my laptop on Dubizzle, and for once someone didn’t t…

r/therapypost4/3/2026
I (23F) use Reddit for outside perspective because I don’t want biased opinions from friends/family, but I think my boyfriend (26M) found my account and is uncomfortable. How do I handle this?

I (23F) use Reddit for outside perspective because I don’t want biased opinions from friends/family, but I think my boyfriend (26M) found my account and is uncomfortable. How do I handle this? — I sometimes use Reddit to get outside perspective when my boyfriend and I have issues. I started doing that because I realized that when I go to friends or family, they usually automatically side with…

r/relationship_advicepost4/5/2026
Idk how can I get help

Idk how can I get help — when I feel like something going good for me, I get anxeity becuase the thing I was doing (binge, wear not a pretty cloths, etc. ) is look bad and I feel like ego death…? idk so I just choose to not g…

r/therapypost4/6/2026
Spouse needs help but believes they are extremely emotionally intelligent

Spouse needs help but believes they are extremely emotionally intelligent — I (39) have been in and out of therapy nearly my entire life. I was a victim of child abuse at a very young age by my alcoholic father and dealt with severe alcoholism and drug addiction myself in my …

r/therapypost4/6/2026
Doing EMDR made me realize how much shame I internalized and how messed up my mom was.

Doing EMDR made me realize how much shame I internalized and how messed up my mom was. — I've been doing EMDR for a while mostly working on other stuff and trauma from my adult romantic relationships. We are finally getting into my relationship with my mom which I knew would be difficult.…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost4/6/2026
I have an ego problem — do you?

I have an ego problem — do you? — For a long time I naively split people into two categories: 1. The big ego — the person who can't stand losing, always finds an excuse when things go wrong, needs others to recognize their worth. 2. …

r/selfhelppost4/6/2026
i feel like this was manifestation..but could it be a coincidence

i feel like this was manifestation..but could it be a coincidence — So I’ve been in this group for a while just observing, but I feel like I’ve had a big enough experience with manifestation that I finally want to share—and also get some outside perspective. I’ve kno…

r/nevillegoddardpost4/8/2026
My girlfriend or now my ex played me.

My girlfriend or now my ex played me. — so me and my girlfriend dated for four months starting December first our relationship ship was good at first ee build bonds I trusted her with my life I connected with her so well I thought she was t…

r/BreakUpspost4/10/2026
I caught my mom drinking before she was supposed to watch my son

I caught my mom drinking before she was supposed to watch my son — When I caught her, she immediately tried to deny it. I could smell alcohol on her breath, and when I reached for her cup she refused to give it to me. I went to the liquor cabinet and hid the bottle b…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost4/11/2026
I escalated a situationship into something toxic and I’m ashamed. How do I stop this pattern and move forward?

I escalated a situationship into something toxic and I’m ashamed. How do I stop this pattern and move forward? — I need honest advice because I’m not proud of what I did. I had an online situationship with a guy for about 3 years. We never met in person, but we talked a lot and I got emotionally and sexually at…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost4/12/2026
I need to talk about something I’m confused about… parents put AirTag in my car… and Life360 on my phone I am 28.

I need to talk about something I’m confused about… parents put AirTag in my car… and Life360 on my phone I am 28. — Long story short… I am 28 I moved out at 22 but I’ve had to come back home and start over again and then I’m going to move out again but anyways my parents are narcissists and they are control freaks…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost4/13/2026
my n-parents again comparing me with my elder sis

my n-parents again comparing me with my elder sis — im tired of my parents always comparing me with my elder sis. my sis is the golden child and also narcissist like them. as if their abuse (both verbal and physical) wasnt enough, they started comparin…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost4/13/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

“This is the girl I’m banging” damn Romeo is out here making the rest of us look bad. Such eloquence.

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/16/2026
Ran into my ex today with her new boyfriend and it hit me harder than expected

wow the exact same thing happened to me a couple months ago hand drop too it sucks but yea as another commenter said it’s just guilt for their actions bc they know they look bad

r/BreakUpscomment3/8/2026
Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker.

That’s the only thought i have for now. He probably cheated and didn’t want to look bad, he cares a lot about his image. And he did tell his family and friends that we fought too much and i never app…

r/ExNoContactcomment3/9/2026
Be honest ladies, how much does being bald impact your interest in a man?

Many men look good bald. Plenty of men look fine bald. Very few men look bad bald. Bald + pony tail has never been good. Its day will not come. Your comfort with it matters more than how it looks. M…

r/datingoverfortycomment3/10/2026
Nmom wants an invite to my wedding or she is going to divorce my dad

Whatever you do, don’t invite her. Your SO deserves far better. Her attending will be disrespectful to SO. Plus, she only wants to go because it makes her look bad if she doesn’t attend. That’s how na…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/11/2026
My husband (36M) told me (33F) that I don’t deserve love until I’m 140lbs again?

You're right that this isn't because you look bad or anything (I sincerely doubt you look bad at all), it's him controlling you. He feels entitled to dictate how you look. A lot of emotionally immatur…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/12/2026
Dating as an Asian Australian man

God i hate these videos. I have no trouble dating and these shits make us look bad.

r/AsianAmericancomment3/13/2026
Dating as an Asian Australian man

Complete agreement. Some men and women of every race have issues dating for whatever reasons. Things like this just makes us all look bad and plays into stereotypes. Dating is not at all hard for many…

r/AsianAmericancomment3/14/2026
Please tell them the truth before it destroys them.

Preaching to the choir, mate. I get it, it sucks. It really does. However, a cheater isn't going stop cheating because it's an opportunistic endeavor they partake in. They don't care about the people…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/14/2026
Shame on all the ‘parents’ who shamed and blamed their child because THEY didn’t want to feel like the useless, clueless, inadequate, emotion morons that they were!!!

This is the literal reasoning why i'm child-free, because I sat down, and asked myself that question "am I financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally in a position to have kids?", and 1 second…

r/CPTSDcomment3/15/2026
Mom using ChatGPT as a therapist

Comment removed. This is not true and I am not entirely sure that you don't know this and you are just twisting things to make this community look bad. When the OP is clearly wrong, unreasonable, …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/16/2026
Still hurts after many, many years

Honestly, that answer is a killer. She only stayed with you because she didn’t want to look bad in front of others - not because she wanted to stay with you. She doesn’t sound one iota sorry

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/16/2026
UPDATE: How do I (28M) tell my girlfriend (28F) a prenup and keeping my inherited house separate are non-negotiable?

Ok, it really seems like you didn't read my post and also made up scenarios to make me look bad. I mentioned in there that I would be splitting my retirement account, any rental income, and any future…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/17/2026
UPDATE: How do I (28M) tell my girlfriend (28F) a prenup and keeping my inherited house separate are non-negotiable?

So how exactly did I make you look bad? I didnt.  So now I'm questioning your motives and sincerity. I gave the example of my friend as a cautionary tale.  Your response was: I'm not her father. …

r/relationship_advicecomment3/17/2026
Comically anti AM agenda in the 2025 series Alien : Earth

You can also blame the people who keep watching the TV since you are giving them money and viewership. If you know Netflix, Hulu, etc. is intentionally making asian men look bad, then why do these peo…

r/AsianMasculinitycomment3/17/2026
If your avoidant ex discarded you: go no contact immediately.

In my case it's strange bc at first I thought I was the avoidant one. He was the one who opened up first and the one who said I love u first. I’ve always had a hard time expressing love and I don’t ev…

r/BreakUpscomment3/18/2026
If someone is repeatedly triggering you despite knowing what your triggers are is it emotional abuse?

Absolutely. I’m sorry for your abuse. [Signs of Manipulation - WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-manipulation) Signs of Manipulation Manipulation can take many forms. In fact, even ac…

r/CPTSDcomment3/18/2026
I want to send this text so bad

No I disagree, can't be a begging any other human being. Literally no self respect. Come on Bro we better than that making us look bad.

r/BreakUpscomment3/18/2026
Surprise Surprise another tale of a cheater

!Thankyou. I hear you my friend. The people that will be in my life after all.of this already know the type of person I am. If they dont believe me and believe her. Have fun. I only worry about …

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/20/2026
My ex-husband is engaged, 5 months after our divorce.

I filed divorce, he refused to sign the response for months just to hold it over my head. Then, he got one pregnant, didn't want it to look bad in court so he hurried & signed the response so we could…

r/Divorcecomment3/21/2026
My mother won't stop grabbing my crotch

Yeah, but that was a family member that the mother clearly didn't care about. Imagine if OP said something to someone his mother respects or wants to look good in front of. I know narcs don't often ha…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/21/2026
(tw: trafficking) I can't interact in queer (or even fandom) spaces because of all the sex

this comment is so kind, thank you <3 it's especially nice to hear from a fellow trans person, i always worry about making the trans community look bad cause i know i fall into a lot of dumb stereotyp…

r/CPTSDcomment3/22/2026
Which one trait helps you detect narcs early on?

It's the way they first set you up to get a reaction out of you, then when you do, they make sure other people are watching and they make extra-extra-slow physical actions of recovering from the shock…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/22/2026
why cant i feel proud about being chinese?

I identify equally as Chinese American and Asian American. Asian because I do feel a sense of connection to other Asian Americans regardless of ethnicity, but also Chinese because there are aspects of…

r/AsianAmericancomment3/22/2026
Spent money on clothes, grooming, and a Miami photoshoot for dating apps. Still getting weak matches. What am I missing?

Hey bro, u actually don't look bad physically. Just some fine tuning and you'd kill. But these pictures gives off friendly and kinda feminine energy. Not trying to shade you. I know for a fact you'd p…

r/AsianMasculinitycomment3/23/2026
Mom wants to review financials with me 2x a year to receive my inheritance

Tell her you will talk with your accountant and/or lawyer friend to make sure that is a something they would recommend you doing. Put her off... "Oh, my lawyer is consulting with a colleague because …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/24/2026
why cant i feel proud about being chinese?

>None of my Chinese identity and my pride in it has to do with the Chinese government, just as none of my American identity feels tied to Trump or the current American federal government. A lot of Ame…

r/AsianAmericancomment3/24/2026
What is your earliest memory of being neglected?

Accidentally got blackout drunk bc my mom gave me alcohol without explaining what it was beyond “only have a few sips it’s for adults”. At the age of 7. She refused to get me medical help bc it would …

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment3/24/2026
I saw my ex after 3 months of no contact, everything looks different.

You aren’t slow. I was with my ex for 23 years and she did this more and more as time went on. When you don’t know how to recognize this pattern you continue to try to be heard in a rational way. For …

r/BreakUpscomment3/24/2026
Mom threatening suicide if I don't come back

Typical narc tactics. Don't fall for it. Ignore it. They will do ANYTHING to get you back under their control. They are feeling the shame that you left and made them look bad. They are adults. They c…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/24/2026
I found my new therapists old racist twitter account.

Well…if that was an old account that was hacked how do you prove it? The problem with hacked accounts is frequently the person can’t gain control back and the hacker can (and frequently does) post any…

r/therapycomment3/25/2026
I 27f pregnant can barley eat and my partner 31m didnt sleep because I ate McDonald’s

That makes me really sad. /u/very_stellar_ deleting your posts is just another sign that you're in denial about what kind of man you're with. Women in good relationships don't have to worry about ma…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/25/2026
Covert narcissists are emotional sadists!

When I was a teen, I had a 200 year old piano gifted to me by my grandmother because I was a pianist. It was very loud, so I would usually do my practicing and songwriting when no one else was home. …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/27/2026
My GF (22F) told her parents about my (24M) secret financial situation

I don’t want to tell her. If I tell her and stay with my girl I’ll make her look bad and then maybe strain their relationship. Also don’t want to tell my best friend for the same reason. Hence, Reddit…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/27/2026
What’s the worst smear you’ve heard your nex shares with people?

Omg. Exactly the same. Physical and emotional abuse. Poor baby. Knows exactly what they did wrong to and that such wrongs look bad.

r/NarcissisticAbusecomment3/27/2026
What’s the worst smear you’ve heard your nex shares with people?

His story (and his moms): I was toxic and all I did was lay in bed depressed while he planned our wedding. I used him for the Hawaii trip and he went to therapy but I gave up on him. He also told his …

r/NarcissisticAbusecomment3/27/2026
What’s the worst smear you’ve heard your nex shares with people?

Oh it’s totally projection. Pissing you off is a consequence, but them trying to slough-off any notion of a particular subject by shining it on someone else is always strategic. So many ‘horror stor…

r/NarcissisticAbusecomment3/27/2026
25M in USA, No job tensed

It doesn’t look bad yet. You have a slight risk with regard to the peak Saturn transit coming up 2027-29 similar to 2009-11 or 2000 affecting each time yourself and family. You have a strong Saturn pe…

r/vedicastrologycomment3/28/2026
Whats the most hurtful thing a parent/caretaker has said to you?

"It would make me look like I'm a terrible parent if you killed yourself, why would you want to make me look bad"

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/28/2026
I (32m) found out my partner (32f) cheated on me while she was away on holiday. She doesn’t know that I know. How do I navigate this?

>1. How and when should I bring this up? Do I tell her I went through her phone after having the same feeling I had in my previous relationship? Do I tell her one of her African friend messaged me pri…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/29/2026
Do men think nipple piercings are trashy? I’m 31 W he is he’s 36 M.

This guy sounds like he was just trying to find a reason that doesn’t make him look bad.

r/relationship_advicecomment3/30/2026
its so fucking bullshit that we have to be the ones who figure out that we're being abused

I've had the same realization that you had after I moved states away and started getting therapy that no one was in the room with me for to make sure I don't "say the wrong thing" or "make the family …

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/30/2026
Husband had an affair… is reconciliation even realistic?

He sounds a lot like my ex… the angriest he ever got was when he got caught in a lie and might look bad. I would bet your ex is trying to save face. But he looks like a bad guy because he is one. He n…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/30/2026
Kinda Proud but Missing Support

Well! I’m proud of you… vegetables and a placemat even!!! Damn girl, slow down! Making the rest of us look bad out here! Take the wins when and as they come. Good for you!!!

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/31/2026
Did spending time with someone new help or make things worse?

That’s not simple avoidant behavior. Look I’m a recovered avoidant and I have definitely been the villain In someone’s story but I was never intentionally trying to make someone hurt. Narcissistic can…

r/BreakUpscomment4/1/2026
My mom flipped out on me for buying second hand clothes

It's all about their face and their rep. You could've thrifted the most valuable possible clothing like hell the sandals that Jesus wore and it would still be an issue for them since regardless of how…

r/AsianParentStoriescomment4/2/2026
My [F 33] boyfriend [M 42] is jealous of my brother [M 29], how do I address this insecurity in my bf?

This could definitely be it as well so bf is looking for any little thing to make him look bad.

r/relationship_advicecomment4/2/2026
Child of Parents in IDEK What Marriage

Your parents’ stupid drama is not your drama. Their horrible marriage isn’t your marriage. Your mom is emotionally abusing you by constantly venting to you about him and then playing the martyr and b…

r/AsianParentStoriescomment4/3/2026
I found out what my girlfriend is talking about behind my back with ChatGPT M24, F27

If I were you, I'd take plenty of screenshots and then break up with her. You need evidence of what she's saying to ChatGPT about you, and about her talking with her ex or wanting to cheat on you. Bec…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/3/2026
My Asian parents demanded I (19f) break up with my bf

Obedience through fear and authentic respect are two different things. You’re simply being an independent adult. Start looking out for your best interests because they certainly are not. You have a…

r/AsianParentStoriescomment4/4/2026