om aim hreem kleem chamundaya vichay

I (22M) am so confused. Didnt know where else to go with this anymore. I just want help understanding what happened? PLEASE READ - its long, kinda. — important context- i was born into a religious family and grew up a religious kid not in any unorthodox manner only a typical hindu family in india. when i was a child i was afraid of the dark then on…