book
someone better
Evidence
Citations (79)
I think my comment was read very differently than intended. Thanks for the reply but I didn't say "I want an apology", I said if someone has never experienced someone apologizing to them (not necessar…
Looking for advice on how to stop being an avoidant — Hi Everyone, I started dating rather late, at 28, but since then I've been a major avoidant. Every time I find myself getting close to someone, I overthink it, and feel like I can find someone better…
If you're reading this, you're gonna make it. — Hey, you. yeah YOU. I know what you're going through. Nobody is on this sub because they're having a good time of it. I know that, because 4 years ago I was in the exact same place. Any advice you rea…
Update after miscarriage and blindside divorce from STBXH — Two months ago my STBX husband (39M) blindsided me (34F) while I was pregnant. I was abroad doing a graduate course when he ended our marriage by text. Three weeks after he dropped me off at the airp…
I’m lost. First time I feel like this, and I really need help. — (24, M) I’ve never been in a romantic relationship before, and I’ve never loved a girl or been loved by a girl . Only because i never found someone with the same weirdness as me Recently, I met a girl…
Just figured out she was cheating today — So there's a long story, I met this girl a almost a month ago, she still to this day was the most beautiful woman ever, I love her so much. I was surprised I got her attention and quickly we got into …
Boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and i begged him to stay. — I got broken up by my boyfriend yesterday, and to me, it was out of nowhere because he said he would never leave me. For context- I was his first serious relationship and he says I was the first girl …
The new girl comparison — People say the new gf isn’t “better” necessarily but I feel like it is the truth. Logistically my ex was with me years, loved me, knew me very well. Then broke up with me unexpectedly saying he still …
She moved on. — I have been in a toxic but healthy relationship from the last 5 years until 2024, we broke up. Why I am saying toxic and healthy at the same time is because I was the one who ruined the relationship. …
what are your thoughts when you break up with someone that is too good for you? do u ever regret it — my bf recently broke up with me and we were the most healthy and fulfilling relationship we could be. he was having a hard time and wanted out. he said he loved me so much he had to let me go and find…
I’m afraid — my girlfriend broke up with me one month and a week ago. we only dated for about that same time so it was really short. however, I did not expect the break up at all, and it was completely out of the …
Any stories that you found someone better than your ex? — I broke up with my ex and been 4 months of NC because he cheated. I was miserable, because i thought he’s the one after my last two exes. We have a lot in common, even our sexual compatibility. No one…
My own thoughts are ruining my relationship (anxiety & overthinking) — I need to get this off my chest because I feel like I’m going a bit crazy in my own head. I’m in a situation where nothing bad is actually happening… but my mind keeps creating scenarios that feel 10…
I can’t bring myself to break up with him. — Me and my boyfriend (both male) have only been dating for about 6 months, but I can tell that this isn’t going to work out long term. He‘s perfect, handsome, and treats me wonderfully, but we both ha…
My boyfriend (19M) did sex work a couple of weeks ago, he is asking me (19F) for permission to do it again. How do i proceed? — So, the story is sorta like this, ive wrote this same sht a good couple of times so ill do a quick summary. Me and my boyfriend met 1 year and 8 months ago. approx 2 months ago i broke up with him for…
Gf of 7 years came back just to cheat on me and take revenge — I’m 24M, she’s 22F. We were together for 7 years. D-day was 22nd March 2026. She broke up with me in August 2025 saying I was too controlling and abusive. From my side, it was things like asking her …
Feeling unworthy of love — I cannot comprehend why would anyone like me or love me , I want to be loved yet I doubt my worthiness for it , I genuinely cannot see anything lovable about myself from other people's eyes and I doub…
Any girl gone back to their ex after the chasing you? — Please don’t ignore. Just like the title says. We broke up the day after Valentines Day. I didn’t chase her every day, but for about 3 weeks after the break up I did try to make her see that she was m…
On and off for 2+ years, I want this to be the end — \*needing advice & encouragement We had an awfully traumatic relationship - trauma bond, mental health issues (I have complex PTSD from him, and an array of other MH issues like bipolar, and social …
How can I stop feeling suicidal like this — Every night, or whenever I have time alone to think, I end up in the same place. Since I was about 15 or 16, I have kept coming back to the thought that I don’t deserve to live and should end my life.…
I 30M asked for a divorce from wife 28F but we have to live together for a year, confused on what I’m doing — I’m 30M and my wife is 28F. We started dating in college and have been together for several years. We got married pretty young. I recently asked for a divorce, but due to logistics (lease, family invo…
I manifested the man of my dreams and he turned out to be a cheater. Help — So my life has been super weird for the past two years. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. In my career, love life and my social life. But I recovered. Just this feb/march I reached a state of…
I manifested the man of my dreams but he turned out to be a cheater. Help — So my life has been super weird for the past two years. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. In my career, love life and my social life. But I recovered. Just this feb/march I reached a state of…
Reality sucks. — When will it get better? I’ve been going out with people and I I think they’re cool but I go home and I can’t believe this is my reality. I go home to my bed alone and I can’t help but think of the n…
This is a long one — My ex (30m) and I(32f) broke up about a week ago. We started dating in November 2025. Each of us had left a relationship recently (like less than a month). The beginning of our relationship we click…
Need to let this out of my chest (6 almost 7 days after my ex broke up with me) — I don’t know what to do, I feel empty and very sad. I feel like I really need to get this out because I’m struggling a lot to process what just happened. I was in a relationship with someone (b…
I got blocked 💀 — hii soo me and sp were in no contact but suddenly after RA I could view his status and he could view mine. BUT now he blocked me on Instagram and WhatsApp 💀 but I've been living in the moment that …
I don’t know if what I want to do is selfless or selfish — I’m probably going to regret posting this and this probably isn’t the right place to post this but here it goes. 5-6 years ago when I was 16-17, I had an online relationship that I made through a mut…
Fearful Avoidant healing.. Need help !! — I am a FA (i did not know before) 44yo m, was in an online secret rlship with a loyal anxious person (she still does not know her type) with kids, who was stuck in an abusive marriage. Went for 3 year…
24M - Messed up relation with 24F. Advice!! — I liked a girl of my class, from class V. Maybe She understood I liked her but never resiprocated any feeling for me, from her side. Years passed, Now we are into class 12. She developed her feelings …
You put yourself in the mindset to take inspired action and you achieved your goals. Sounds like manifestation to me. This sub encourages action. As for SP...I might get banned for saying this b…
Thank you for sharing, I didn’t have the feeling he was seeing other people, but I might be completely wrong 😂 anyways as you said, definitely not worth staying in this situation, definitely someone …
This is interesting. my ex was fearful avoidant, and she broke up with me just after 12 days of coming in relationship, and mind you the relationship was at its best at that time. I'm a secure guy,…
I'm a female DA with a male AP. I have never loved anyone before so I don't want to mess this one up (again lol), and I've been working on my style for 5 years now. I was truly a hopeless case before…
So, I heard a saying once when I was going through a really bad OCD flair, I think this will help. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. Anxiety comes at us in waves. We have to feel the wave wash over us…
I don’t find it attractive anymore. I just want someone who’s secure, it feels like ”this is what is available to me”. Could I find someone better? Hopefully, but I don’t know how because I’ve had bad…
Hello. I have a question. Are anxious attached people self-centerd? I heard from my Ex-BF that I am self-centerd and think the world revolves around me. Sometimes I act upon my anxiety, only to be pro…
I’m new to Reddit but find it of good use to try and find answers to my problems. I’ve been in a LTR with a man but we’ve always had issues where he has said I’m narcissistic - I couldn’t understand w…
I've been there. I'm sorry your experiencing this and your in a lot of pain right now. I can gaurantee that the pain will end with time. It lasted around 4 months for me, but everyone heals different…
Tbh, I think this guy is a walking red flag. Even if you only like a few people a year (same with me, it takes me a while to find someone I really like), it’s better to stay single in case someone bet…
oh my! okay well someone better is headed your way
Not really to all of the above. But, I am 43 and I can honestly say that my son is the best thing that ever happened to me 💙 You will meet someone better suited. Honestly, talking a better job oppor…
Wow! I cannot imagine leaving my child behind! I assume you're the mum, without knowing any facts, I'd suggest that perhaps if he is willing to just fuck off and leave you with the baby, then he doesn…
All posts are manually reviewed before being approved for posting. This usually takes less than an hour, though it can take longer depending on moderator availability. While you wait for your post to …
>I started dating rather late, at 28, but since then I've been a major avoidant. Every time I find myself getting close to someone, I overthink it, and feel like I can find someone better. >Also, the…
One: stop defining yourself as an "avoidant." It's a self fulfilling prophecy. The attachment styles are not diagnoses or set schema governing your life, they're traits that exist within all of us and…
This is unpopular opinion, but I wouldn’t consider what you describe as avoidant. You state you think you can find someone better, and there are a lot of other options, but you’re interested in sett…
"find someone better". The issue is people have become accustomed to treating relationships like the market place. People are complex, they vary. Sometimes a person is great. Other times not their bes…
This is a really honest post, and the self-awareness alone puts you ahead of most people stuck in this pattern. What you're describing sounds like classic avoidant attachment, and the "I can find som…
I have no advice for you other than to try therapy. My ex dumped me (his first gf) by listing off all of his “icks” about me that he had never indicated he had trouble with before and I loved him with…
Some people need a clean break to be able to move on. Some eventually reach out again, and others prefer to move forward and never look back. Breaking up is never easy either way. Just remember that…
You did not luv. We are adults. We need jobs and health insurance. She sounds like a teenager. Stringing together a couple of part time jobs… Look, it’s not fair to her to go back. You are going to e…
I honestly don’t understand it either. Are they keeping their options open to find someone better, guilt free because you agreed to non monogamy? The situation would exceed my pain threshold. Protec…
I had a 3rd date with someone which is the most dates I’ve had with someone consecutively since dating again. I think we are both slow warming up to people and it’s been fun watching both of us make o…
Broke up with my gf two weeks ago. She wasn't treating me right, like she switched up on me real fast. I managed to make the ending positive for both of us. However, when my mind feels nostalgic, I …
I know by the second date. Three dates in 6 weeks, doesn’t sound like either person is interested. You are both just killing time together while they try to find someone better.
This is the problem with online dating. There’s always the thought you can find someone better. I would personally focus on the person who I hit it off with, especially if you already slept together. …
Yesterday I [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1ri0wrv/comment/o879jlq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) about this guy…
Sounds like she’s exploring herself alright. Sorry OP. It’ll be hard for awhile but you’ll find someone better for you.
Its pretty easy to read the implication in your comment. Even if you didn't intend it. Lots of people, especially young or immature people, often won't leave a partner they aren't interested in any mo…
You think that because you still love her. I love that you feel that way don’t get me wrong, she’s a lucky lady, but just reminding you that there are lots of women with hourglass bodies out there. Yo…
yeah, you’ll find someone better because you will be better, for it
I think it’s a red flag too. OP, she sounds incapable of empathizing with you & she is clearly a person with no ethics. You 100% can find someone better but, in the meantime, you’ll be better & happie…
First of all.. lemme just say this. This isn't something men do along. Both males and females do this, once they're doing the dumping. In the dumper mind, they think they're free but time would revea…
I don’t understand why people like you, well meaning as you are, post comments like this. If we wanted to be famous and failed and got rejected a few times, does that mean fame is not for us and some…
Thank you for pointing this out "there's no such a thing like meant for us, or not meant for us". I clarified that I didn't need the apology, I think my original comment wasn't explicit enough. I just…
I gotta say, subliminals have worked wonders for me. I’m not some arrogant jerk, but I don’t fall apart anymore when I “feel unworthy” I say ok this or better and move on. I’ve listened to “bring my S…
The problem is your mindset. There are plenty of great people who are fit and attractive, successful, with good values who would be compatible to date, marry and have a family with. You have a defeati…
I am not skilled at this so take my upvote, hopefully someone better can help
My guy my guy. The person you thought she was wasnt actually real it was all a fantasy. It is something you built up in your mind. She is actually a very selfish person who only cares about herself. A…
Good for you. I hope you can find someone better for you. “Hes a Catholic” and having sex before marriage … not a very good one 🤔 and not judging YOU, just his hypocrisy lol. You deserve someone way…
Thank you. But what do you have to say about your marriage? Wish your post had more about that/ or explained that you ended up happy and found someone better for you etc.
Wow he sounds like a complete ass. Even if any of that was true (which it sounds like it’s not), that was a horribly insensitive way to go about it. I’m so sorry that happened. I hope you find someone…
Cuddle with who you want? Idk why sex is off the table if you want it too. And then if you do meet someone better for you, who cares if they slept with someone else the night before? If that person…
Get your finances in order. You deserve someone better.
She can not have a gift of empathy and do what she's doing to you. The fact is nothing you say to us or yourself, can justify her as being even a decent person. If you go on and marry her, it'll be …
Sorry that you met these men. Their behaviour is inexcusable and insensitive. However I have to admit that I became more selective as I got older. When I was younger I didn't know what I wanted and …
You are well within the healthy range. This guy just wants you to get even skinnier to fit what he finds "hot". Your BMI is within the healthy range, and therefore your risk of weight-induced diabetes…
Girl, please decide you deserve a better partner than settling for this asshat I was a size 4 and my partner at the time kept bringing up my saddle bags. The first time I was frozen in shock The sec…