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Analyzing Astrology (Natal) Charts

Analyzing Astrology (Natal) Charts — Hey guys! I've noticed this sub has gained a few more members - so I'd like to welcome everyone to r/AstrologyChartShare :) I thought it would be a good idea to get a thread started with some knowle…

r/AstrologyChartSharepost11/30/2017
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs?

Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…

r/attachment_theorypost3/18/2025
Detailed Car Crash Simulation as a Service - I will not promote

Detailed Car Crash Simulation as a Service - I will not promote — Hello everyone! I am a mechanical engineer specializing in simulation (with a PhD in biomechanics) and I'm currently working on software that simulates car accidents in detail, also taking biomechanic…

r/startupspost5/4/2025
Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote)

Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…

r/startupspost5/5/2025
ELI5: What is TDD and BDD? Also, TDD vs BDD?

ELI5: What is TDD and BDD? Also, TDD vs BDD? — I wrote this short article about TDD vs BDD because I couldn't find a concise one. It contains code examples in every common dev language. Maybe it helps one of you :-) Here is the repo: https://githu…

r/DevOpspost5/7/2025
Can a FA-DA relationship work?

Can a FA-DA relationship work? — My partners have been dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant, so I have always leaned anxious ig. In my last relationship, I felt secure at the start, it was nice, we set boundaries.. till it happene…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost10/7/2025
thoughts on the more "woo-woo"-ish and paranormal aspects of Murphy's work?

thoughts on the more "woo-woo"-ish and paranormal aspects of Murphy's work? — I am precisely talking about those: [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1676311.Telepsychics](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1676311.Telepsychics) [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4108560-…

r/JosephMurphypost10/19/2025
DAs, do you find that you avoid things in wider aspects of life, not just relationships?

DAs, do you find that you avoid things in wider aspects of life, not just relationships? — I’ve noticed that I sometimes avoid things that stress me out. For example, I avoid looking at my bank account and I just don’t look at it unless I absolutely have to, because it makes me stressed. I …

r/attachment_theorypost11/27/2025
Happy and healing but still need to be "chosen." Advice welcome

Happy and healing but still need to be "chosen." Advice welcome — I have been on a healing journey for my anxious attachment for a few years now. I am in a secure relationship where I have found a deeply vulnerable and safe connection and also know that if it ends I…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost1/4/2026
SATURN RETURN & TRANSITING SATURN/NEPTUNE IN ARIES POSTS PROBLEMS

SATURN RETURN & TRANSITING SATURN/NEPTUNE IN ARIES POSTS PROBLEMS — # PROBLEMS WITH SATURN RETURN POSTS We are getting a lot of Saturn Return questions as transiting Saturn enters Aries. First, many of you think your Saturn Return just began today, Feb. 14, 2026 (usi…

r/AskAstrologerspost2/14/2026
RULES: PLEASE READ

RULES: PLEASE READ — *POST REMOVAL: Understand that all posts are instantly removed into a queue to await mod approval. Please allow 24 hours, though usually it is much less. Your post will either be approved, or you will…

r/AskAstrologerspost2/19/2026
ways to stop ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc?

ways to stop ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc? — hi everyone! something i struggle with a lot is ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc. especially right after they end. even if i know that said relationship was TERRIBLE for…

r/AnxiousAttachmentpost2/24/2026
Transits that can show long-distance travels & spiritual retreat?

Transits that can show long-distance travels & spiritual retreat? — I was trying to find what transits could show long-distance travels, involving a spiritual retreat? Or maybe, that comes with a massive life-change? It should be the 9th and 12th house, and Jupiter,…

r/astrologypost2/25/2026
Septile vs Novile

Septile vs Novile — Hi friends 🩵 so I've been digging pretty deep into astrology recently, I had been messing around with it lightly for a couple years but now going in headlong. Not to make a career out of it or act li…

r/astrologypost2/26/2026
NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 2ND HOUSE

NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 2ND HOUSE — *Only post if you have natal Saturn in your SECOND house.* **SATURN IN THE 2nd HOUSE** We are starting a series of planets in houses, starting with the outermost of the 7 traditional planets, Saturn …

r/astrologypost2/26/2026
Moon Question 🌙

Moon Question 🌙 — Hi all! I’ve been studying up on Moon placements. To me, at least lately, Moon placements stick out as the interesting spot to focus on when learning more about people I know - my family, my friends, …

r/astrologypost2/27/2026
what do i do? my anxious attachment is getting REALLY bad.

what do i do? my anxious attachment is getting REALLY bad. — i haven't been like this since i last had a really close online friendship w someone 2 years ago, but i recently started talking to a new friend online and we've known each other for only a few days. …

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost2/28/2026
Are aspects to the Ascendant (trines, sextiles, oppositions etc) important to look at when analysing a chart? How do they affect the Ascendant?

Are aspects to the Ascendant (trines, sextiles, oppositions etc) important to look at when analysing a chart? How do they affect the Ascendant? — I know conjunctions to the Ascendant are very important but I've never even considered other aspects to the Ascendant such as trines or sextiles. Oppositions I would guess manifest more through others…

r/astrologypost2/28/2026
The most difficult Sun & Moon transits!

The most difficult Sun & Moon transits! — I love Robert Hands book ”planets in transit”, and I just saw a listing including the most difficult Sun & Moon transits, which made me curious if anyone had any real life experience that they would l…

r/astrologypost3/2/2026
scary how astrologers predicted war in end of february

scary how astrologers predicted war in end of february — Hi it‘s so mindblowing how astrologers predicted this. has anyone more information about this? what is coming more & how did they predict this? was is the neptun saturn conjunction? or which aspects a…

r/astrologypost3/4/2026
Can You Change How Your Moon Sign Expresses Through Conscious Behavior?

Can You Change How Your Moon Sign Expresses Through Conscious Behavior? — I have a theoretical question about how flexible natal placements are in astrology. For example, if someone has a Moon in Aquarius but consciously chooses to develop emotional habits and attitudes th…

r/astrologypost3/5/2026
My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself?

My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself? — Based on my limited understanding, having your sun and rising in Sagittarius signifies being outgoing, expressive, and freedom seeking. I couldn’t be further from that. I know other aspects in my char…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/8/2026
Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President??

Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…

r/experiencerspost3/8/2026
I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on?

I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on? — I’ll start off by saying, I completely understand we have to communicate with others on the ways we want to be loved and cared for. This isn’t that anymore. My gf and I have been together for a littl…

r/relationshipspost3/9/2026
My desire for relationships disappeared after a narcissistic ex. Has anyone else experienced this?

My desire for relationships disappeared after a narcissistic ex. Has anyone else experienced this? — I was in a relationship with a narcissist for about a year. After it ended, I spent about two years working through it with a therapist, and I’ve continued doing a lot of personal work since then. I r…

r/NarcissisticAbusepost3/10/2026
Implications of personal Pluto aspects relative to your generation/other generations

Implications of personal Pluto aspects relative to your generation/other generations — For example, if a person had Venus square Pluto on their natal chart, although the degree would vary, they would have the same aspect with everyone else with the same Pluto sign as them. I also know y…

r/astrologypost3/11/2026
How to deal with places that have bad energy?

How to deal with places that have bad energy? — For context, a few years ago i moved away from a city that drowned me energetically, in the sence that i genuinely couldn't feel joy for extended periods of time, but after moving to a new location fa…

r/energy_workpost3/11/2026
Would the 6th house represent mental illness as well?

Would the 6th house represent mental illness as well? — The 6th house is intimidating to review in a chart and I wanted to know if it can represent either physical OR mental illness or is physical illness always an trait of the 6th house??? (I know how it …

r/astrologypost3/11/2026
If there's no aspects between sun and midheaven does it mean an individual will have a hard time with career or that they are free to shape it?

If there's no aspects between sun and midheaven does it mean an individual will have a hard time with career or that they are free to shape it? — Often times I hear astrologers say that if for example your sun is in conjuction with your midheaven you will have an easy way to climb the career ladder. Or any aspect such as sextile and trine, or e…

r/astrologypost3/12/2026
Histories of Native American Treaties and Anti-Chinese Violence Win Bancroft Prize

Histories of Native American Treaties and Anti-Chinese Violence Win Bancroft Prize — Emilie Connolly’s “Vested Interests: Trusteeship and Native Dispossession in the United States,” published by Princeton University Press, examines the financial aspects of many U.S. government treatie…

r/AsianAmericanpost3/13/2026
NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories.

NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…

r/experiencerspost3/13/2026
was it "written in the stars" that i was going to be dropped on my head as a baby? (transit chart for the date and approximate time it happened)

was it "written in the stars" that i was going to be dropped on my head as a baby? (transit chart for the date and approximate time it happened) — my mom was taking me to my babysitters' house, holding me in one arm and diapers in the other when i threw my arms up and rolled out of her arms, landing on my head on my babysitter's driveway. it was…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/15/2026
How do you quickly spot planetary aspects in a chart?

How do you quickly spot planetary aspects in a chart? — Im newly studying astrology and charts. How can I quickly spot things like inconjuncts and other aspects? Is it the number of degrees you are looking at?

r/astrologypost3/15/2026
Are synastry aspects always the same between two people regardless of who is partner A or B?

Are synastry aspects always the same between two people regardless of who is partner A or B? — are synastry aspects always mirrored as the inverse when switching people as partner A when generating a synastry chart? like will synastry always be the same between two people no matter who is partn…

r/astrologypost3/15/2026
Relationship worries — Challenging placements and aspects regarding 7H

Relationship worries — Challenging placements and aspects regarding 7H — so, i got into astrology after my last relationship ended (it was a tough one) and while i did it to figure out some things about myself i also found out i have some pretty challenging aspects and pla…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/15/2026
I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work

I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost3/16/2026
As long as your ex knows you will always take them back, they will never truly want nor respect you

As long as your ex knows you will always take them back, they will never truly want nor respect you — Now how come it is this way? How come you need to walk away, abandon them and put yourself first in order for them realize what they had? And why can’t your ex just put their pride and ego aside, st…

r/BreakUpspost3/17/2026
Anyone's Nparents raised you to become dependent, then complain about your dependence and pressure you to be independent?

Anyone's Nparents raised you to become dependent, then complain about your dependence and pressure you to be independent? — I was raised to become dependent. As a child, i used to not speak and be selectively mute, because i thought i didn't need to speak as my mother controlled all aspects of my life. She didn't just pres…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost3/17/2026
NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 3RD HOUSE

NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 3RD HOUSE — *Only post if you have natal Saturn in your THIRD house.* **SATURN IN THE 3rd HOUSE** We are starting a series of planets in houses, starting with the outermost of the 7 traditional planets, Saturn …

r/astrologypost3/17/2026
Is Marriage preferable? Guna milan 20/36

Is Marriage preferable? Guna milan 20/36 — Hi everyone, I’m seeking a genuine and honest opinion regarding a potential marriage match. My family has received a proposal for me through a family friend, and we’ve matched our kundalis. The Guna…

r/vedicastrologypost3/17/2026
Is this lucid dreaming or is it SP?

Is this lucid dreaming or is it SP? — Put this in a few subs cause I’m starting to get curious about what’s going on with me. About six years ago, I experienced something unusual while lying in bed fully conscious but with my eyes closed…

r/LucidDreamingpost3/18/2026
Despite every effort, I'm developing feelings for my boss. Am I cooked?

Despite every effort, I'm developing feelings for my boss. Am I cooked? — I know. Yikes. I usually have a protocol for these things - find out they have a partner or find the worst possible photo of them on the internet and change their contact photo to that. Unfortunately …

r/datingoverthirtypost3/18/2026
Stoic Polytheism

Stoic Polytheism — Hello Friends! I have a question regarding the theology of the Classical Stoics. Did they hold a mere pantheism, with 'the Gods' merely being different names of one and the same Logos? Or, are they as…

r/Stoicismpost3/19/2026
What matters more in interpretation: house placement or aspects

What matters more in interpretation: house placement or aspects — When reading a chart, how do you weigh house placements versus aspects? For example, if a planet is in a strong house position but has difficult aspects, or the opposite, which tends to influence you…

r/astrologypost3/20/2026
Unable to understand what people mean when they say “libra moons are scared of being alone”.

Unable to understand what people mean when they say “libra moons are scared of being alone”. — Hey y’all! I‘m a bit confused about what people mean when they say that Libra moons have a “fear of being alone”. As a Libra moon I don’t relate to that sentiment at all, and I really love my solitude…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/20/2026
Can aspects to houses that represent the external ever represent internal changes ONLY?

Can aspects to houses that represent the external ever represent internal changes ONLY? — Can aspects (in transit or solar return, not natal) in houses that typically refer to actual physical things, people, etc., ever represent internal changes in the way someone relates to those things, …

r/astrologypost3/20/2026
Hot take on Daniel Love

Hot take on Daniel Love — (quoting will NOT be accurate, only rough from my memory). I am not structuring this as a super hateful post, not SUPER hateful, and I wouldnt try to say hateful, so bare with me here. I dont like Da…

r/LucidDreamingpost3/21/2026
Wrong again but did I do the right thing ?

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? — Ugh...I was dating someone the last few months. Things were going well including physical aspects. For context I'm 44f he 51m. I planned a trip away with my best friend months ago. I'm starting a new…

r/datingoverfortypost3/22/2026
Jack of all hobbies, master of none?

Jack of all hobbies, master of none? — Kind of a silly topic but ever since I was little I’ve been decent and passionate about so many hobbies. I bake, lift weights, sew, crochet, draw, read, enjoy movies, producing beats, philosophy, lear…

r/selfhelppost3/23/2026
Which planet and/or aspect should I focus on and work with to remedy my inability to form lasting intimate relationships and friendships?

Which planet and/or aspect should I focus on and work with to remedy my inability to form lasting intimate relationships and friendships? — As you can see I have a T-square between Mars, Venus and Saturn and I have Pluto on the Ascendant opposite Chiron. I'm 56, not married, no kids, I only had one boyfriend in my early twenties for about…

r/AskAstrologerspost3/24/2026
Human Plus (H-Plus) and Patterning

Human Plus (H-Plus) and Patterning — I know that the majority of people use the gateway tapes to pattern, but I wanted to share my thoughts and techniques for using the H-Plus series. I feel that H-Plus is the most advanced system that R…

r/gatewaytapespost3/27/2026
If you are new here..

Just a few questions Mr Moonbeam. If you are so against the “act/live as if” what do you have to say about Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden and Dr. Bruce Liptons, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Eckhart Toll…

r/JosephMurphycomment4/18/2020
The NO BS Guide on Winning Your Ex Back!

It’s difficult when there is something you share with the person though, like children. You’re involved to some capacity and you can see how they are doing in all aspects of life - relationships, fina…

r/ExNoContactcomment10/12/2022
If you are new here..

Respectfully, this is what happens when you only focus on material aspects and totally disregard the "spiritual woo woo." I'm not saying everyone ever needs to be enlightened, but there's a reason why…

r/JosephMurphycomment3/3/2023
REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength.

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

r/Divorcecomment9/28/2023
Donald Trump & the LOB

Hi Ralumarian35 On Moonbeam's instructions, the mod team has decided to ban you for 4 months. From your post history, it is clear that you've read, thought about and understood the posts in the index…

r/JosephMurphycomment9/22/2024
Manifestation coaches have not refuted any anti-loa arguments

Yes, and that was clearly one of the most important aspects of your original post. Everyone who replied in the other comments ignored this, which is incredibly ridiculous. All members, respond to…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/22/2025
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs?

Thanks for your opinion on my 10% figure. Besides that, I did not say partners should be at my convenience. I said other aspects of life can throw a relationship’s typical patterns out of balance. Ha…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/30/2025
The "and" theory...

Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/4/2025
Other attachment styles

Thank you. This research at least is not wedded to what is seems to me to be a very over simplified model. I've just read the abstract and will chew through the rest of it. Then look at what else …

r/attachment_theorycomment4/24/2025
What Platform Engineering Really Means (and How It Differs from DevOps and SRE)

Hey. These titles are often interchangeable but can mean different things for different organisations, depending on their role responsibility expectations, product/services. As such I wouldn't focus…

r/DevOpscomment5/6/2025
Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that?

The advice to not discuss negative aspects of your personal relationships with others is good advice. It is also good advice to not jump on the bandwagon against someone else's SO because when they re…

r/JosephMurphycomment5/6/2025
Anyone here navigating entrepreneurship with ADHD? How do you manage focus, procrastination, and distractions?

I was diagnosed three years ago with ADHD. My wife, who is a psychotherapist, speculated for a long time and then gave me an assessment, which was then confirmed with a psychiatrist. But I've been run…

r/Entrepreneurcomment5/6/2025
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA

You will get tired in a year or two. Besides other aspects of tor life like career will suffer in long run 

r/attachment_theorycomment5/17/2025
Your subconscious pays attention way more to your ACTIONS throughout the day, than to your script.

"What would your subconscious most likely be SEEING (if you were in a relationship with them) throughout the day? " This post uses the above line as the central premise for its "logic" that you shoul…

r/JosephMurphycomment6/4/2025
Fellow DAs, do you sometimes experience people taking it personally when you need space to be by yourself?

Also you lie to them and expect them to except it.when I notice some one is just saying something that isn’t real ,it bothers me. Often my wife needs space,so she stacks her calendar with appointments…

r/attachment_theorycomment6/12/2025
It’s frustrating how often I run into women with Avoidant tendencies.

You may be surprised to find that in many cases anxious partners show avoidant tendencies when paired with a fellow anxious attachers. AT is not a rigid paradigm. We all show up differently in variou…

r/attachment_theorycomment6/16/2025
FA Ex who semi-ghosted me sent me this message 2 months later

Realistically, 2 months isn't nearly enough time for someone to reflect AND implement what's needed to heal wounds, triggers or habits. So, likely... you'd be going back into the same situation. I hav…

r/attachment_theorycomment7/1/2025
A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now.

You have to examine other aspects of your relationship and connection, as well as take into account the kind of person they are. Not everyone who is avoidant and loves you will push you away, and not …

r/attachment_theorycomment8/5/2025
Mass produced emotional security/intelligence?

When I mention ‘AI’ I don’t necessarily mean that which exists in its current form, but rather a smart artificial intelligence that actually does know how to counter your thoughts and redirect them to…

r/attachment_theorycomment8/14/2025
Women I’m dating is afraid I’ll lose interest when I learn who she really is. Seeking FA perspective.

Honestly? It's mostly up to her to resolve that issue, not on you. But somethings you can do to help is tell her you like when people are being real, it doesn't matter if that's a bit imperfect. I al…

r/attachment_theorycomment8/14/2025
Law of Belief - Relationships

That’s the thing are we certain that he was like that before she got married? If he is saying people are a reflection of us, of what we believe, and what we feel inside and what we attract then wouldn…

r/JosephMurphycomment9/13/2025
Law of Belief - Relationships

I agree and I’m wondering if JM is being pragmatic in recognizing that so he’s giving us different examples so we can see that our overall beliefs in all aspects influence the outcome, but not to figh…

r/JosephMurphycomment9/13/2025
Help me to recognise my attachment style please!

*Hm, but I thought FA would distance when they feel too much of closeness?* It's like this. FAs will distance but then softly test for intimacy. They aren't afraid of being too close; they're afraid …

r/attachment_theorycomment9/15/2025
I have become obsessed with finding someone.

Since everyone is giving you replies on the note deep aspects of this, I'll offer something about the app/texting usage. Just a suggestion but you could try not spending too much time texting. Pres…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment9/16/2025
Thank you

Healthy relationships are truly worth it. Obviously, a healthy relationship doesn't mean two perfect people and eternal bliss, but it surely beats crying in the bathroom and being dysregulated for wee…

r/attachment_theorycomment10/5/2025
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

Learn to self soothe. Stay grounded in yourself and don’t get caught up in potential of people you barely know. Stay busy with other aspects of life. Dating should not be the center of your world.

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment10/15/2025
Physical Reaction

What has your therapist said about all this? What guidance are you getting on that front? My guess is that the answer is in the complexity you mentioned at the end. Is there some codependency going o…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment10/21/2025
antidepressants and avoidant attachment

In early dating (first 3-6 months), Most people when establishing a new attachment, experience a period time of obsession with their romantic partner. Their dopamine level is elevated and serotonin i…

r/attachment_theorycomment10/22/2025
Finding proof that you were right to be anxious

There’s actually a term for this that my therapist taught me, and it’s self verification. Think of it like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that model car all over the place when you never …

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment10/22/2025
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations

Hi! Sure, this is my own healing journey, nothing more, nothing less. Everything here comes from sources that I have listed, I relied on their status in the scientific community and didn't go as far a…

r/attachment_theorycomment10/24/2025
Why do I get upset when bad stuff happens to my partner and it doesn't even impact me?

It isn’t necessarily, but to an anxious person who was raised with intermittent neglect and is hyper vigilant about it, it will look like it.  But like I said, it could be there’s truth to it as well…

r/attachment_theorycomment11/1/2025
Do fearful avoidants "split" or "idealise" and then "devalue" when triggered? Or is it more likely to be a sign of something else? (Eg BPD/NPD?)

Everyone splits. It's a psychological defense mechanism. Under emotional stress everyone will eventually lean on more primitive defences. When you are mad at someone you become less able to view thei…

r/attachment_theorycomment11/13/2025
Do fearful avoidants "split" or "idealise" and then "devalue" when triggered? Or is it more likely to be a sign of something else? (Eg BPD/NPD?)

I understand. I can relate to these feelings *a lot.* I understand not wanting to label someone you love as an abuser, I think it can prevent so many people from actually healing because… I mean I cou…

r/attachment_theorycomment11/16/2025
Being DA but really wanting kids

Thanks for the kind words, but Id also like to emphasize that no one has said they were having children without healing. We are discussing the completely human desire for children that every man and w…

r/attachment_theorycomment11/26/2025
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

Self- love and desire for a partner are two different things imo. Humans are built for connection and that comes in many different forms (friendships, family, romantic etc). If you have a preference…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment12/11/2025
Being DA but really wanting kids

I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …

r/attachment_theorycomment12/11/2025
The monster jar theory of FA or avoidant attachment.

I’ve had two aspects of this come up in therapy.  I’m kind of surprised how much I have to describe to my therapist about what Jonice Webb calls the Fatal Flaw—the conviction that there is something …

r/AvoidantAttachmentcomment12/23/2025
Both best friends got engaged

Well I do think it would be nice to have a built in friend I could always depend to be my number 1 and also have sex with regularly. There are aspects of it I don’t love but that much seems nice. I al…

r/AvoidantAttachmentcomment12/23/2025
Weekly Rant/Vent Thread

Oh my god, I totally relate to this! One of the saddest aspects of my own avoidant tendencies is that, in some ways, I’m even more uncomfortable with intense positive emotions than negative ones. It’s…

r/AvoidantAttachmentcomment12/24/2025
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

Communication is a two way street. Both parties need to work to do better. It’s not clear what communication aspects you are struggling with. The fact that you are long distance tells me that there co…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment12/31/2025
The pain of being unmet...

Okay…here is what I am seeing in what you are saying. It doesn’t sound like you really enjoy your hobbies/interests very much. Like you are doing them because you think you should but not because yo…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment1/12/2026
The pain of being unmet...

I don't need my view of self validated by other people, but I do need to recognize when aspects of myself (or my trauma) are holding me back relationally, and continue to work on myself. I can love wh…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment1/13/2026
How do you respond to people who are very quick to think that you’re angry at them?

Sure, all this information is accessible to anyone that wants to read Dr. Crittenden's work on the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment. Type A attachment defined my the DMM: >The Type A pattern…

r/attachment_theorycomment1/16/2026
What is my core wound when I don't worry what others think about me, I'm not afraid of being alone, but still no boundaries with closest people

Really helpful comments here, those have made me think the whole thing considering many aspects. I think I might have made an observation which could be a hint. I realized I don't like social situati…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylecomment1/27/2026
how to be "chill" in early stages of dating?

Others have stated this too, but in my words: 1. Go external: Make an active practice of actively planning non-romantic activities and events with others that you are looking forward to. Keep this…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment1/30/2026
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story

I'm glad you appreciated it. I totally agree with you, boundaries that don't center around body autonomy or things like that should be allowed to be questioned and negotiable, especially when they're …

r/attachment_theorycomment1/31/2026
The New Agora: Daily WWYD and light discussion thread

Sunday Stoic - Greetings, I am cohost of the “Sunday Stoic” podcast, a weekly podcast that concentrates on applying Stoicism to modern life.  Our most recent episode examines the Cardinal Virtue of Ju…

r/Stoicismcomment2/3/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

That stinks. At least if he is getting married to her then at least he didn't cut you off for someone unimportant to him. Still though, I feel the second hand sting from the situation and how hurtful …

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/6/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Are you sure that is not being a sapiosexual? I mean I have been totally unnattracted to women, and after meeting them and learning aspects of their personality became very attracted to them. That sou…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/6/2026
"I want someone obsessed with me"

Yes, i totally agree with your point. Which is why I think "obsession" is a word shortcut, not what people really mean. Someone intentionally putting time and energy in the growth of the relationship …

r/AvoidantAttachmentcomment2/9/2026