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So in my late 20s I did a similar thing. Met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday the same day he accepted a job in another province. (Canada - 4 hour flight for reference.) He left, we "ended it" but …
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…
Does this have to do with my attachment style or is it normal? — I used to score as anxiously attached when I was in my last relationship. I feel like I still have some anxious tendencies in my relationship now but I also sometimes feel avoidant and for the most pa…
DA Downplaying friendship — I have a self-confessed avoidant friend (I am secure). We dated very briefly but ended it because he said he couldn’t do serious relationships and I didn’t want to continue something ambiguous, catch …
Trading book recommendation! For those trying to fix attachment issues. — “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” -by Lindsay C. Gibson, PHD This book helped me realize that, at my core, I struggle with dating and attachment because it’s hard for me to comprehend …
UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…
Great guy, but after 4 months, there's just no physical touch — I've been dating a great guy for about the last four months and we're a good fit in several different ways. We're both in our 40s, no kids, no previous marriages and have lived all over the world. We'…
Discard/sudden breakup?! — Three months ago months ago I met a woman and had an intense, genuine connection. In under 8 weeks we spent 18-20 days together. She said she cared about me first, unprompted. We made future plans tog…
I’m so lonely after my divorce — I (46F) got divorced 8 years ago. I had been with my ex (45M) for 12 years and we have 2 kids. I met someone a year later (40M) and we moved in together eventually but after 6 years together we were m…
I (38M) was just sent proof that my fiancé (35F) has a recently active hinge profile. — My fiancé has been acting really distant lately. I'm currently dealing with some health issues and she seems more focused on her work then helping me through my current health struggles. We have bee…
My husband cheated. I don't want 50/50 custody. I also don't know if I can stay with my husband. I don't know what to do. — Both options suck. I found out my husband cheated on me during my pregnancy with our first child (which we both wanted). It was a physical and emotional affair. It continued after our son was born. It…
What Happened? — Just looking to gather perspective from someone else. I (M34) matched with someone (F36) on Hinge back in December. Got along really well and had two dates in January, which went really well. We kiss…
You lost them, not losing them — I had a strange thought today, it hit me like a ton of bricks. An ad came up for a movie we planned to watch and instantly triggered a sad wave, That thought of "we was going to enjoy that" to "I'm g…
My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. I sent a message breaking no contact. Her response destroyed me. — International relationship — she's Brazilian, I'm Arab. We truly loved each other, but the distance, cultural differences, and wanting different things ended it all. It was the right decision, but the…
i’m 20 and i don’t think there’s anything out there for me — hi, i’m 20f, and i’ve reached a point in my life where i don’t think i was meant to live as long as i have. i still live at home, except now im getting kicked out. i can’t drive and my parents refuse …
Girlfriend asked for a 3 week breakup after a fight. I ended it when she asked for more time — I'm 43M, gf is 37F. I'm a doctor, she's a lawyer. I make good money, she's kind of just starting her career. I never skimp out on her... Fancy dinners, nice gifts etc etc. I was planning to give her a…
My 18M bf broke up with me 17F because he got an A in maths — hi, im 17F and I'm dating 18M, we met in grade school and became high school sweethearts. It's been 4 years and we have been going on really strong, although he lives 30 mins away and goes to a differ…
Rebound? — Recently, I have become closer to one of my friends. He's cute, and I think he's into me, but I suspect that he is using me as a rebound for his ex. I think he broke up with his gf of a year (maybe …
ex went through my phone — My ex and I have been sleeping together, we both love each other a lot even though we know we aren't getting back together. Last night while I was asleep, he went through my phone. He found texts …
Breakup due to her grief + life circumstances…how do I make sense of this? — My ex (25F) of almost 3 years broke up with me (28M) about a month ago. The last few months were long distance, and this was a serious relationship — we had met each other’s families and were quite i…
breakup with someone who didn’t communicated issues — My ex (20M) and I (20F) broke up at the beginning of March after almost a year together, and I’m having a hard time moving on. It felt like a really special connection to me. He made me feel genuinel…
Just keeps getting worst — I recently was broken up with a women I thought was different. It was about a month ago when we got into a small fight but that’s how she decided to end it. I did everything for her I loved her so muc…
I want to hear your ex aftermaths (20M,21F) — Hello, im currently out of a 3 long year relationship and my ex has 0 intention in getting back with me. I found out she never loved me for the past few months, but im in a 1 month relationship with h…
help crazy ex boyfriend — hi reddit i came here looking for support i’m so lost and i’m actually horrified of my ex. so we stopped talking last april and we don’t have each others socials i don’t have his number etc. when we e…
Im tired of this life — I’ve been a daily weed smoker for about 6 years now. For two years before, it would be an occasional spliff. At my worst, it was a q a day. Today, I’m down to two spliffs a day. I want out. So bad. …
Why is healing from a discard taking longer than the relationship itself? It was only 2 months — I'm 3 months out from a discard with a suspected covert narcissist, but we only dated for 2 months. Is it normal for it to take longer to get over the discard than the time we dated? It feels kind of …
he’s in my state right now — i ended it 34 days ago even though things were good and i loved him. bc he said his family would never accept me and he knew marriage is impossible from the start but “intentionally avoided that conve…
Well, he left the state and found an apartment in her town — Like the title says, my cheating husband, who had to leave the state for work (I was supposed to go with him, thank god I didn’t) had to find an apartment to live for the next year. Out of the entire …
How can I do better — My Story — A Journal Entry Where It All Began I grew up in a joint family — grandparents, cousins, relatives all around. On the surface, there was warmth and togetherness. But my immediate family wa…
Help please — I need a reality check because this is starting to feel like psychological warfare. My ex (20F) broke up with me (21M) about 1.5 months ago after a 2-year relationship. We had plans for a future, liv…
1 month relationship with previous history. Both with ADHD. — Hey all, To start, I'd like to give context. I'm 29M, she's 26F. She has diagnosed ADHD. I had undiagnosed ADHD at the time of dating her. I've been recently diagnosed post-breakup, just started Vyva…
I'm about to lose everything and having panic attack all day — I (24M) really need some advice. I am having the worst day of my life today. So, basically, I'm in college studying engineering. It's my fifth year. It is normally a four-year program, but I basically…
She broke up with me over something that happened before we were even dating… and I don’t know how to handle it — 17M 17F I really need some advice because I feel horrible right now and I don’t know what to do. So my girlfriend and I just broke up today, and the main reason goes all the way back to something th…
How do I (24F) handle my boyfriend's (25M) friendship with his coworker? (26F) — My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half and most of our relationship has been long distance because he got a chance to work in Major League Baseball last year and follow his dr…
Why not just end it? - emotional cheater — My three-year relationship ended two weeks ago. She initially broke up with me in January. I couldn’t believe it. There had been signs building up to the breakup for months. But I was still shocked. …
Wanting them to break no contact, but knowing you would also be destroyed if they did 💔 — For context I am actually the dumper in this situation. We were in a situationship, it started off very strong and I was given more attention and consistency then I ever have in previous relationships…
I (22F) broke up with my ex (23M) after he cheated and said he was never “excited” about me… but I still believe he loved me and that’s what’s messing me up — I (22F) broke up with my ex (23M) two months ago, and I feel like I’m stuck between two completely different truths that I can’t reconcile. For context, we’re both medical students and were flatmates…
I [M23] am facing a decision that might cost me what I think is the love of my life [23F] — TL;DR: After a wonderful but complex 4.5 years, me and my partner separeted. We then kept spending a lot of time with each other and stayed exclusive, before completely ending our contact for a few mo…
My gf (F19) and I (M23) have cheated on each other. Would I be blinded by love if I stay with her? — Before I start, everytime I tell someone close of mine my current situation they get stunned so my story right now could either intrigue you to reading more or bore you. But if you put yourself in my …
Heartbroken and Need to Move On.. But How? — Hi reddit, I could use some comfort and I need to write this out After a slew of bad dating luck and heartbreak in the past few months, I organically started developing a connection with a woman. Onl…
Am I still AP or I actually earned my secure attachment? — Hi all! I’m trying to understand whether I’m actually growing toward a secure attachment, or if I’m still acting from anxious patterns in a more subtle way. A bit of background: I was in a toxic marr…
(35m) Less Sex while Dating Gay man (29m), am I being abusive? — i’m open to non-monogamy, but more like a “primary + side” dynamic, and i explained that to someone i’m dating very early on. as we kept seeing each other, he started using the l word, but at the same…
I F26 Regret Dumping My Ideal Man M23 — A few months ago I, F26, ended things with the man I’d been seeing M23. We were together less than 3 months, but I genuinely REALLY liked him and I‘m pretty confident the feeling was mutual. He was in…
My ex broke up w me but is still cool with going to prom with me? — Me and my ex bf dated for 3 years, we had our issues but we typically always worked them out but it got to a point. I finally admitted to him how i'd been feeling about him not supporting me or listen…
me and my partner have split — my partner has ended it, moved out with our 1 &1/2 month baby, she says she needs space to heal and says she has tremor from when the baby was born, saying i wasnt there for them, we have been to coun…
has anyone with anxious attachment been the dumper? — i have, i was never her priority and i gave absolutely everything for her, rearranging my schedule, flying to her country every time, resolving arguments, sending messages of love, being spontaneous. …
Ex-Situationship started No Contact — I (F) have been friends with a man for five years, and over the past year we’ve grown much closer. We live four hours apart, but we’ve seen each other quite often since we grew up in the same city. Ov…
My GF of 4.5 years left me while I was already working on the issues she pointed out. Why leave now? — My girlfriend left me a month ago. I haven’t seen her for two weeks. I miss her, but I feel like I’m managing. However, there is a part of me that still wants her back. We were together for 4.5 years…
Can I reach out? — Can I i Reach out to her? She ended things almost 2month ago. For me this breakup was and probably still is the most painfull expirience of my life. Day after the breakup she suggested to stay friends…
Broke no contact with avoidant.. shit — So I ended things about a month ago, at the beginning of the year we got back to dating again after she ended things last year (never official just exclusive together). I ended it this time after she …
I don't feel this at all. I question the fuck out of it. I been broken from my ex for 2 months, it's so up and down. Cold as hell then will go out to eat with me. Then ignore my messages then I'll be …
I like this idea. It seems to help both the anxious leaning and the avoidant just check in for the day rather than the avoidant expecting to have to check in continuously, or the anxious person waitin…
I'm an FA that leans anxious, and this never bothers me unless I'm in romantic relationships. Platonic relationships with friends that disappear never hits the same for me. Quite honestly, and as som…
Exit this situation. No more hbd texts, no more ‘he deserves this or that.’ He ended it. Respect not only his wishes but more importantly yourself. You deserve to be in a relationship where you’re not…
I know what you’re saying, in my case I had all elaborate dates planned for me, introduced to all his family and friends as his girlfriend, our parents met, flowers, gifts, attended his friends weddin…
Why would an avoidant push me away, but then orbit me for almost 2 years — even while committed to someone else? I feel ashamed for being stuck on this.. I (32F) had a short but intense connection wi…
I don't exactly have advice, but this is very similar to what I experienced with a former colleague that I dated for a bit and developed limerence for. I'm still conflicted about whether I actually "f…
This was very much my experience and I eventually married another FA, we detached from each other probably and stayed together for 10 years. After him I met another FA, fireworks, amazing 3 months a…
How to balance contact with friends and family after a breakup? I'm here after a breakup less than a week ago which left me in shattered. After doing a lot of reading, I concluded I have very much AA…
Have you ever reached out to someone months after going no contact? Like by text, or even a letter? I (28M) cut off contact with someone (32M) back in mid-June. We had a very intense anxious-avoidant…
5.5 years here and got discarded 6 months ago. The way my nervous system has been healing made me realize I should have ended it myself and much sooner. Avoidants do not get better - they withdraw f…
My (27F) bf (27M) broke up with me after 5 months tgt because I might have anxious attachment. How am I feeling: Feels like hell and torture. Shaking. Spiraling. No appetite/havent eaten for a coup…
Looking for help and support. This girl and I have got a fucking unreal connection. When we are together, time stands still (sounds fantastical doesn't it!). But then she pulls back every time and th…
Damn. I would date the living shit out of you just because of this post alone. Self-awareness and holding your boundaries this firmly is beyond attractive. Good for you. I have the utmost confidence t…
I was hoping someone would say this, actually. He thinks he’s secure and tried to convince me of it. I agree, which is why I ended it. But this was still the closest to a healthy relationship I’ve e…
Honestly, I think I’m even a step deeper into that loop. I’m currently going through a rough patch with my current partner, and that’s when my brain decided to resurrect thoughts about an ex I dated …
There seems to have some conflicting info that is hard to make sense of. It is hard to tell if the relationship was truly healthy or you just ignored any red flags/incompatibilities or problems and fo…
Wow, is this really a thing among people 30+? What is “their predetermined time frame”? I was talking with a friend about this matter and she and I both agreed that replying within the same day is f…
I can relate to what you are going through. I had a similar situation with my ex husband . We ended it. I am not tell in you should but what helped me make the decision is therapy and loads of it . A …
I went on 3 dates with a woman (M) I met speed dating in October. M ended it after “no spark” (sad face). I dated another woman (B) who was in the same friend group as M - not on purpose and acciden…
I've lurked on and other attachment style subs) for over 5 years. Since being introduced to attachment style, I've identified as AP most of my life but lately maybe show some DA). I first learned abo…
Hi All! I need some advice. My post has not gained any traction anywhere else. I am here to understand what is happening because I feel clouded a little bit in my relationship. We are opposite attachm…
I feel like I could’ve written this. I’ve been on and off dating apps for seven years and in that time have had two…two genuine matches that led to meaningful connections. Even then, one ended it afte…
My bf and I said it at 6 months. But we were feeling it for real at 5 months. We started the relationship clock from our first date because I didn't have any significant dates after that. After our …
Just mutually ended it with a guy I fancied and saw for 7 dates or so, then went on a dud date yesterday with a different guy and now someone else asked me out but I'm at such a breaking point, I feel…
Right! The last person I was dating was showing signs of anxious attachment, and I immediately ended it. No hesitation, I didn’t even give her a chance to redeem. She was shocked when it was done. Lik…
OP, I waited for 2.5 years and he still could never say it to me. Not even once. I ended it over this. It honestly starts to hurt after awhile!
I ended it with her just now 🤙🤙
I am sorry if my questions felt intrusive. I wanted to give you the best advice I can. You are in a great position to meet someone new right now and to put this guy in your rear view. Let me know how…
It absolutely was. I felt so healthy though. I thought if I handle emotions like an adult and stop running away from things, I can work through any issues that occur. Its like if someone who alway…
I recognize this. I was dating a man a few weeks ago. At first it seemed we had a great connection, but as time passed, we had less and less to talk about. I somehow felt that we weren’t meant to be a…
Learning about Avoidant Attachment style has helped me feel so much better about him dumping me. He fits the type to a T. I know that being with him would have led to more hurt than I could handle, so…
We dated last year for a few months, but ended it because we wanted different things (me a relationship, him, causal). We kept in touch for a bit and the stopped talking until last month. He reached o…
Thank you for this. I think you might be right. I guess I just. Wanted to do something since I immediately just felt so lonely. I didn't want to drag it out, but maybe it was too soon. I suppose just …
It seems like you spotted the red flag and ended it before losing more time with him.
Sometimes it's needed. Dated a guy for a few months and I fell HARD for him. I was ready to say that I loved him but he ended it due to some trauma from his past he hadn't worked through. I didn't fi…
Amicable as u ended or he ended it? Cuz it matters…
People grieve in different ways. My last break up was 7 years ago. He ended it. Both in our 30’s. I never spoke to him again. Unfollowed. Deleted his friends and family. Blocked his number. Cried an…
Guys I wanna text him sooooo bad! Oof that swing of the healing pendulum sucks so hard. I miss my little daily chats n cutie checks ins ;( How long do yall give yourself before jumping back on the OL…
I was discarded by my ex 4 months ago. I've recently started going out with others seriously. They are lovely humans, but I cried for 10 mins during my lunch break today from the stress of it all. I…
It took me a solid two years to start to get over a 5 year+ relationship. Technically three years but we were still enmeshed and seeing each other for the first year so that year was more of one big l…
LMAO. listen.. it's still raw for me - only a week to your month. OF COURSE I miss that man enough to wish the universe to bring him back to me. I say reach out because I want that for myself. B…
He’s been online. He sort of ended it Valentine’s Day, saying he wasn’t sure we had a future, so maybe my post isn’t quite the correct picture. But said we’d talk the next day.
I can’t speak for your boyfriend because I know next to nothing about him. I can tell you that when I hit 35 I refused to settle. Period. I was at the age where I knew I wanted to get married and ha…
No that's not what I said and it's quite a misinterpretation of the situation. I said I had a minor miscommunication with my partner, I did NOT say I was about to end it, you just added that assumptio…
I felt like I met the perfect person. I felt like we were perfect for each other. Everything was going great until he suddenly says he needs to figure out his feelings. I ended it and said that he can…
Went on a first date yesterday, he ended it after an hour and doesn't seem interested in meeting up again. I liked him and definitely would have liked to meet up again. I haven't had anyone I'm intere…
I get it, I always wanted my belongings back and most recently the jerk I just ended it with a month ago would without good reason block me as a manipulative crappy thing to do. Hence why he’s an EX.…
Hey everyone, I’m a 34M with anxious tendencies. I broke up with my 29F girlfriend (likely fearful-avoidant) 2 months ago during an argument over feeling ignored. We’ve been in strict no contact sinc…
Closure is something we give ourselves. I would question if there was some type of codependency or enmeshment that came into play here. Like you are defining your self worth through the friendship. So…