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r/relationship_adviceUpdated 30 days ago
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My (M19) Gf (F19) constantly asks for details on me being raped because she "can't wrap her head around it", is this worth it?

Dude from the bottom of my heart... This deeply saddens me. I can literally feel the pain in your writing, the headspace your in, the chaos in your head you deal with on a day to day, you having grown…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/20/2026
Happy New Year and Bye-bye 2024: 6th Kill - $20,000 from Futures Trading

Happy New Year and Bye-bye 2024: 6th Kill - $20,000 from Futures Trading — # 6th Kill: $20,000 Money Mission **Mission**: To make $20,000 from futures trading **What I achieved:** I made $20,000 from futures trading **How long did it take:** 5 and a half months **Backgro…

r/JosephMurphypost12/31/2024
My arguments against manifestation

My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…

r/JosephMurphypost1/23/2025
Handling another crush as a FA

Handling another crush as a FA — Hello all, spring is here and so is a new crush. I really can't get used to how excited but anxious my butterflies and fantasies make me. Sometimes they make me so anxious to the point I get dysfuncti…

r/attachment_theorypost3/19/2025
Meta won’t let you control impressions, so I trained an RL model to do it

Meta won’t let you control impressions, so I trained an RL model to do it — One thing that always annoys me with Meta campaigns: you can’t just say “give me X impressions.” It’s all budget-based, and if you’re trying to hit specific visibility goals (like consistent daily del…

r/digital_marketingpost4/30/2025
How are unemployed designers managing financially right now?

How are unemployed designers managing financially right now? — I was laid off two months ago and have been in the job search grind since - applying, interviewing, and trying to stay hopeful. But I’ve also been feeling pretty stressed and anxious, especially as ti…

r/UXDesignpost4/30/2025
Sharing my learnings as a mid-seniority job seeker

Sharing my learnings as a mid-seniority job seeker — I started job-hunting in April. After two weeks of sending applications and receiving zero feedback (only ghosting), I scheduled a few calls with my mentor. Based in Eastern Europe and looking for a f…

r/UXDesignpost4/30/2025
How to get companies to even VIEW my portfolio.

How to get companies to even VIEW my portfolio. — I have 6 years experience as a UX/UI designer, 2 of those years were at an agency and the most recent 4 are at a pretty big company. I have recently been applying to jobs with my most recent work and …

r/UXDesignpost4/30/2025
How to overcome lack of mobile experience?

How to overcome lack of mobile experience? — I'm a mid-early senior product designer with over 5 years working on SaaS/Enterprise products. The issue is that they've all been for desktop. Quite a few roles i've been applying to have some need fo…

r/UXDesignpost5/1/2025
Monthly Getting Started / Web Dev Career Thread

Monthly Getting Started / Web Dev Career Thread — Due to a growing influx of questions on this topic, it has been decided to commit a monthly thread dedicated to this topic to reduce the number of repeat posts on this topic. These types of posts will…

r/webdevpost5/1/2025
Why am I losing keywords?

Why am I losing keywords? — I'm a bit lost. For the past 6 months I have been working on improving the rank of my website. When I first started, I just left an agency that wasn't doing a great job. When I switch from them, they …

r/SEOpost5/1/2025
What will it take?

What will it take? — Seriously… What does it take to land a UX role these days? My wife is graduating with her masters in UX from a good program but it seems that the industry is evolving and everyone is making it seem …

r/UXDesignpost5/2/2025
Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying?

Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying? — Hey everyone, I’m at a bit of a crossroads and could really use your advice—even if it goes against what I’m currently thinking. Since I was 18 (I’m 20 now), I’ve been building websites just for fun…

r/digital_marketingpost5/2/2025
Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying?

Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying? — Hey everyone, I’m at a bit of a crossroads and could really use your advice—even if it goes against what I’m currently thinking. Since I was 18 (I’m 20 now), I’ve been building websites just for fun…

r/SEOpost5/2/2025
Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit)

Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…

r/web_designpost5/2/2025
AWS network automation

AWS network automation — I find myself in a funny position to redo part of the network in AWS. We have two parts: one is newer and uses transit gateways that are centralized in a single account, the other is older and vpc pee…

r/DevOpspost5/2/2025
What are the skills needed to manage a Shopify Plus account?

What are the skills needed to manage a Shopify Plus account? — Some background: I've been a web designer/developer for 25 years. Spent 13 years as Senior Web Developer for a medium size corporation that manufactured consumer electronics, primarily working in the …

r/Shopifypost5/3/2025
APPLYING FOR MERCHANT ID

APPLYING FOR MERCHANT ID — Hey guys, just thought i’d drop in here to quickly as a question for the experienced folks here. I am looking to apply for MIDs but i am kind of stuck on what banks/ Mid providers will look at on my…

r/ecommercepost5/5/2025
Got ghosted after 3rd round

Got ghosted after 3rd round — Hey everyone, Just wanted to share my recent experience and see if others are going through the same thing. I’ve been applying for DevOps roles for the past few months, and finally landed an intervi…

r/DevOpspost5/6/2025
Marketing Digest: Google tests new AI mode outside Labs along with more features, ChatGPT introduces shopping features with personalized product recommendations, Google confirms search signals used to train Gemini AI

Marketing Digest: Google tests new AI mode outside Labs along with more features, ChatGPT introduces shopping features with personalized product recommendations, Google confirms search signals used to train Gemini AI — Hey guys! A new week means a fresh batch of marketing insights. Google’s keeping us on our toes as usual, and AI is busy finding new ways to take over the digital space. Let’s read: **SERP features /…

r/digital_marketingpost5/6/2025
“Found this gem when I was applying for a job 👀🔒”

“Found this gem when I was applying for a job 👀🔒” — Clicked the eye icon to reveal the password… only to have it immediately blur again when I tried to edit it. Who designed this — a magician? 🎩✨

r/UXDesignpost5/6/2025
I am going to give my first ever interview and it's for an Azure SRE intern position. What should I expect?

I am going to give my first ever interview and it's for an Azure SRE intern position. What should I expect? — After applying for around 400+ intern positions, I've finally got this - one interview. I don't wanna mess it up. I have 24 hours to prepare for it. I have a basic idea about azure. Where should I sta…

r/DevOpspost5/7/2025
Business Ideas

Business Ideas — Hello, I have a good chunk of cash lying around. I want to invest it with someone who has either a great business idea or has a business started already. I have a full time job already but want to do…

r/smallbusinesspost5/7/2025
Spent 1 year solving a problem users “loved” but wouldn’t pay for: my learnings [I will not promote]

Spent 1 year solving a problem users “loved” but wouldn’t pay for: my learnings [I will not promote] — We are 2 years into building our SaaS, but spent 1 year building something people “loved”, “were excited about”... yet did not pay for. Since then, we have slightly pivoted and gained traction, but I …

r/startupspost5/7/2025
Semrush 7 days free trial: how hard is it to avoid payment?

Semrush 7 days free trial: how hard is it to avoid payment? — Hi, long story short: I'm applying for a new job and I really need to use some SEO tool to perform a case study. I will need to use it only for a week max, since I have to complete the case study in a…

r/SEOpost5/7/2025
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA)

If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost8/3/2025
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been.

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost8/14/2025
4+ Months of LOB Practice

4+ Months of LOB Practice — What's up people. Discovered this sub around the start of april 2025, and didn't actually navigate trough the index until about 15-16th of April, and after reading the index, starting 20th April I st…

r/JosephMurphypost9/3/2025
Feeling bad after dates?

Feeling bad after dates? — I asked my friends for some advice regarding how to attempt to move my attachment style in a more secure direction, and one of them said that for them, going out on dates really helped them, especiall…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost9/4/2025
READ THIS if you want to POST here

READ THIS if you want to POST here — This is a new thread with the SAME GUIDELINES as the previous post which is now archived. THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR APPROVAL TO POST. You don’t have to be an approved user to comment or lurk. ONLY som…

r/AvoidantAttachmentpost10/24/2025
how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times?

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

r/attachment_theorypost10/27/2025
RSD potential cause of AA?

RSD potential cause of AA? — Hey fellow AA folks, Since discovering attachment theory 2+ years ago, life has improved quite a lot. However, for the sake of anyone else who might be fresh to attachment theory, I want to spare yo…

r/AnxiousAttachmentpost12/3/2025
How do anxious attachers know when they are truly ready to date again, rather than just trying to soothe anxiety or loneliness?

How do anxious attachers know when they are truly ready to date again, rather than just trying to soothe anxiety or loneliness? — I was talking with a friend recently and we were comparing how hard it is to get an honest gauge on your own readiness to date again when you have anxious attachment tendencies. Everyone tells you to…

r/AnxiousAttachmentpost12/8/2025
How do you respond to people who are very quick to think that you’re angry at them?

How do you respond to people who are very quick to think that you’re angry at them? — I’m a DA and I’ve been in friendships and romantic relationships with people like this, where if I’m delayed in replying (due to being at work or similar), they’re quick to think that I hate them or t…

r/attachment_theorypost1/16/2026
Deactivation or undisclosed breakup?

Deactivation or undisclosed breakup? — I'm a FA woman...in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant....all was good, until past Christmas holidays , his bday and all situations when they deactivated.. he was the one who planned being wit…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost2/8/2026
I'm so tired of people.

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

r/AvoidantAttachmentpost2/12/2026
Avoidant conversation patterns are confusing me - should I address them?

Avoidant conversation patterns are confusing me - should I address them? — I’m (secure leaning anxious) getting some confusing conversations patterns from an avoidant friend. And I don’t know if I should address it or just let things continue to play out. Context; we disco…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost2/13/2026
I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!!

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost2/17/2026
I want to to start healing so badly, how can I?

I want to to start healing so badly, how can I? — I recently posted here my journey of realizing I have a fearful avoidant attachment. I used to think I was anxious but I realize I'm fearful avoidant and I don't want this anymore. I want to stop push…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost2/18/2026
March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More

March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…

r/astrologypost3/2/2026
Has anyone been experiencing an uptick in seeing UFOs/NHIs in dreams?

Has anyone been experiencing an uptick in seeing UFOs/NHIs in dreams? — Hello everyone! I've been a member of the sub for quite a while now, I have posted some dream experiences of mine in here. Lately, I've been seeing crafts in my dream a lot, I'm talking about 5/7 d…

r/experiencerspost3/7/2026
My father is sabotaging my career and medical treatments through "smear campaigns" and monitoring. I feel like I'm living in a Truman Show nightmare.

My father is sabotaging my career and medical treatments through "smear campaigns" and monitoring. I feel like I'm living in a Truman Show nightmare. — ​I (25F) am an Indian doctor currently preparing for NEET PG, and I am living with a family led by a malignant narcissistic father. My mother and brother are complete enablers. I’m writing this becaus…

r/AsianParentStoriespost3/7/2026
Experienced ego dissolution and timelessness while a friend spiraled into a bad trip believing we were communicating through “waves”

Experienced ego dissolution and timelessness while a friend spiraled into a bad trip believing we were communicating through “waves” — I wanted to share a recent experience because the contrast between my trip and my friend’s bad trip was extremely interesting, and I’m curious if others have seen similar dynamics in group trips. We …

r/Psychonautpost3/7/2026
A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil

A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil — A lot more people are traumatized/ in pain than are evil. And I won’t say that evil people simply don’t exist, they do, but there’s fewer truly evil people than there are hurt/traumatized people who d…

r/therapypost3/7/2026
Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months.

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

r/survivinginfidelitypost3/8/2026
When is emotional control actually suppression?

When is emotional control actually suppression? — In reading Epictetus and Seneca, I’ve been reflecting on how Stoicism distinguishes between emotional mastery and mere suppression. the texts emphasize that destructive emotions, anger, fear, resentm…

r/Stoicismpost3/8/2026
Read! if you were anxious !

Read! if you were anxious ! — I am going to write this with neville goddard lectures quotes. I know it will help some of you :) **Feel the wish fullfilled :** I know some people can't generate the feeling of wish fullfilled and b…

r/nevillegoddardpost3/8/2026
I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live.

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

r/therapypost3/8/2026
How do I beat decision paralysis?

How do I beat decision paralysis? — My entire life I've struggled with making decisions, whether it's choosing what food to buy at the shop, which route to take on a trip, or more important things like what job to take, or what I should…

r/Anxietyhelppost3/8/2026
Had the most intensely beautiful lucid dream and now real life feels blurry

Had the most intensely beautiful lucid dream and now real life feels blurry — I was flying over an endless ocean made of liquid starlight. Every breath I took filled me with an overwhelming sense of peace I have never felt while awake. The colors were more vivid than anything i…

r/LucidDreamingpost3/8/2026
Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President??

Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…

r/experiencerspost3/8/2026
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

What does this mean - the fact that we astral project unconsciously anyway every night? Is this implying dreaming or something we don't remember? I'm confused

r/AstralProjectioncomment5/3/2021
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

hey dont do the rope thing it doesnt work , first , you have to be extremely tired first in oder to do it , you cant do it without feeling tired , train your body for a second sleep over , do …

r/AstralProjectioncomment11/30/2021
If you are new here..

a) law of assumption, not law of belief. And where did you get the other descriptions from? I've been on Neville sub for a while, literally noone describes the law in those words or speak in a spiritu…

r/JosephMurphycomment2/18/2022
The NO BS Guide on Winning Your Ex Back!

Came here to ask why the FLYING FUCK I would want to do that??? Not disappointed by the answer.

r/ExNoContactcomment3/31/2022
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

I've asked two different entities, and they gave me partly conflicting answers. The self-proclaimed deity said most humans and all animals go to an enormous astral...warehouse waiting room thingy. Th…

r/AstralProjectioncomment8/24/2022
START HERE! - Beginner Guides, FAQs, and Resources

Try focusing on your environment and not getting to excited . Tell yourself you want to explore your surroundings before and during . Don’t go straight into getting excited and trying to control every…

r/LucidDreamingcomment10/14/2022
START HERE! - Beginner Guides, FAQs, and Resources

Don’t Try focusing on controlling too much immediately or getting Carried away trying to do influence it strongly at first . Try just remaining calm by focusing on your environment and exploring as yo…

r/LucidDreamingcomment10/14/2022
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

I really do not know anything about this at all. I went to sleep at around 1130pm last night, I woke up feeling nauseous and sweaty at 530am. At around 630am I remembered my “dream?” I was floating/fl…

r/AstralProjectioncomment2/7/2023
The NO BS Guide on Winning Your Ex Back!

Can’t believe i am replying to this after a 4 week fling and my SA did a 180. Connection felt real but was way too fast (Red flag). Trying to come up with ways to continue were just ploys to avoid f…

r/ExNoContactcomment3/7/2023
REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength.

This is so hard to do for me. It’s only been a week or so now but I would end my life if not for my 3 little kids. I can’t believe the woman I’m still in love with thinks so poorly of me she wanted to…

r/Divorcecomment7/9/2023
START HERE! - Beginner Guides, FAQs, and Resources

Hello all, I am new to this site but I have been lucid dreaming since I was eight years old. I am now almost 66 years old. I had nightmares as a child. I decided that if I had a nightmare I would wak…

r/LucidDreamingcomment7/18/2023
FAQ on emotional neglect - For anyone new to the subreddit or looking to better understand the fundamentals

That's a good question. I'd like to know the answers, too. Does she acknowledge the emotional neglect she experienced? Does she recognize some of the ways it plays out in her outlook and person today…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment9/29/2023
Astral Projection: Quick Start Guide

I am sorry but when you are experiencing an astral projection you know it right away because your consciousness stay awake and powerful, I remember my first time as teenager, the first feeling that ov…

r/AstralProjectioncomment9/30/2023
REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength.

Thank you so much for this! Actually, also 12 years and my husband had an affair 6 months ago and a new one now that I discovered right after a very sad (for me) Thanksgiving. So I get what you’re say…

r/Divorcecomment12/13/2023
START HERE! - Beginner Guides, FAQs, and Resources

Anyone else have random lucid dreams about the exact way to start a flying sequence. Some kind of 3 step jump and then a somersault and then you take off and fly for ages if you control your arms prop…

r/LucidDreamingcomment6/6/2024
Manifesting New Skills and Knowledge with the Law of Belief– Is It Possible?

That's not answering her question and you are being a corrupt liar. You would download 10 languages and 20 skills in a heartbeat if you could do it to your brain just like you could load programs onto…

r/JosephMurphycomment10/28/2024
START HERE! - Beginner Guides, FAQs, and Resources

i am a 51yo married man and educated with a professional degree but stuck in middle management which is fine. I have become more or less an alcoholic in some respects because i love sleeping and my…

r/LucidDreamingcomment1/3/2025
Manifestation coaches have not refuted any anti-loa arguments

Well, you can believe me or not, I have no incentive in lying. But the Neville sub has messed me up. Those LOA “teachers” there are messed up - and they don’t even know what they are talking about. “L…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/22/2025
Manifestation coaches have not refuted any anti-loa arguments

Nah. Oprah is just scripting and lying about her success.

r/JosephMurphycomment1/22/2025
My arguments against manifestation

It literally is, look at that essay you wrote. You’re overcomplicating things and applying 3D thinking to something that really has little to do with the 3D. The 3D is merely the result of all of this…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/24/2025
Manifestation coaches have not refuted any anti-loa arguments

Uh oh…better get to affirming and visualizing before your man runs away! Imagine not being able to enjoy your time with your partner because you always need to check your thoughts and assumptions? Wha…

r/JosephMurphycomment1/25/2025
My arguments against manifestation

>If it comes to new age stuff like LOA/LOB/Law of assumption I actually agree with you to a certain degree but not entirely. So let me explain where I disagree. Most people who follow Joseph Murphy, L…

r/JosephMurphycomment2/10/2025
Before you make that post about some avoidant ex ask yourself……..

I wouldn’t say they aren’t aware. AP can be extremely self critical. I find the issue is that until they process the underlying trauma, the attraction pattern is hard to break. Simply being aware of i…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/23/2025
Before you make that post about some avoidant ex ask yourself……..

They can be self critical, but that's actually the opposite of being accountable and aware because typically it's just another way to ruminate. I also think that tendency in general is what drives the…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/24/2025
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs?

I do understand and I can agree it’s not a behavior that can cultivate a long standing relationship with someone who is secure or anxious. But the same can be said about other attachments aswell (no…

r/attachment_theorycomment3/30/2025
Confused about affirmations

>Not saying you’re entirely wrong but that wasn’t the point of the ladder experiment. The point of the ladder experiment was to teach about awareness. > Ah. Conscious awareness. Complete rubbish and…

r/JosephMurphycomment4/7/2025
How do I know if I simply don’t like someone enough to be with them or if I’m simply running away from what is safe?

One thing I'll say is that in the early stages of dating you aren't actually seeing a person's natural "energy"; you're seeing their energy when they're flying blind under the pressure of courtship an…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/7/2025
Does attachment style start to shift after cutting out toxic family members?

Happy for you. Nobody asks to have an attachment style that’s dysfunctional. I’m working through mine and try so so hard to have compassion for others. But a big part of self love is learning how to h…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/9/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

To answer: They will escalate negative behavior towards you if you’re not respecting their distance or wishes for disengagement. I once told an ex, “If you keep staying with me I will treat you worse …

r/attachment_theorycomment4/18/2025
I got ghosted and I feel blindsided

Yeah and it's not that avoidants are lying, they actually like the love bombing stage. They actively choose to instigate that. U never see AA lovebombing avoidants in the beginning. Avoidants are l…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/23/2025
What hurts a DA?

>Note: It's at that point when most secure people will leave a relationship with an insecure attacher, when their reasonable requests start getting shot down. That's what I was going to say too. If y…

r/attachment_theorycomment4/28/2025
What else do I need before I apply?

Bash and python are more relevant than powershell for most DevOps roles unless wherever you land is pure azure. I say that having landed in DevOps 9 years ago from a strong background in windows syste…

r/DevOpscomment5/4/2025
Got ghosted after 3rd round

I had the exact same thing happen to me last year. For third round had to containerize an app and then write some pipelines for it as well as some k8s manifests I think. I presented everything (and th…

r/DevOpscomment5/6/2025
Is there sometimes no hope?

Learning about change management helped me a lot in applying DevOps transformation. Check out this post about J-Curve and Agile change management: https://tech.aabouzaid.com/2019/05/devops-and-chang…

r/DevOpscomment5/6/2025
What should i do to earn 10k/month ?

Bruh. I own a restaurant franchise with 6 locations with my husband and business partner, plus a car wash, plus 1 more restaurant that isn't part of the franchise. None of us are making $10k per month…

r/Entrepreneurcomment5/7/2025
Do push/pull dynamics happen even when you’re not participating in them?

Someone’s gotta be on the other end. He might be pushing, and looks like he usually is, but you’re pulling every time you entertain him. Because most people wouldn’t keep letting him in again, which y…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/7/2025
Do push/pull dynamics happen even when you’re not participating in them?

Thank you for sharing your perspective :) And I do totally see your point about over applying attachment theory. I think I feel hurt by these hot and cold dynamics and probably as an anxious person I …

r/attachment_theorycomment5/7/2025
Fellow DAs, do you sometimes experience people taking it personally when you need space to be by yourself?

Yeah. Several people ended friendships with me for needing time and replying slowly. And I can’t really blame them. If it’s not okay with them, if my communication style is painful for them- then it’s…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/10/2025
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA

>But if you were me and you had just discovered attachment theory, wouldn't you at least try use that new information to work on a solution? I think EVERY anxiously attached person in an anxious/avoi…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/15/2025
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA

I don't understand all the salty responses that talk about "bending over backwards". If you have anxious attachment, you will need to do attachment work to make sure your side of the equation isn't co…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/15/2025
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA

What bothers me the most is how OP's relationship progress is being dismissed. It doesn't seem to be enough that they reached a functional state and OP is happy at the moment, getting his needs met. …

r/attachment_theorycomment5/15/2025
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA

So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/16/2025
What are the signs to spot a DA or FA in early talking stage?

IMO it's impossible to identify avoidants early on without them directly telling you if they are avoidant or you test them by implying or expressing emotional intimacy and it scares them away. Avoidan…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/20/2025
What are the signs to spot a DA or FA in early talking stage?

Used quotations because I was trying to articulate that closeness can be superficial as opposed to true intimacy… i wasnt implying its an intrusion but okay interpret it however youd like.

r/attachment_theorycomment5/22/2025
What are the signs to spot a DA or FA in early talking stage?

Well, if you're into them, that's the first sign. It'll be tricky to differentiate between DA and secure for you because they'll both feel like they're moving at a reasonable pace at first, but a DA i…

r/attachment_theorycomment5/23/2025
Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago.

Except they're not being logical and the leaving often occurs due to deep-seated fears. They're basically lying to themselves.

r/attachment_theorycomment5/26/2025
Fellow DAs, do you sometimes experience people taking it personally when you need space to be by yourself?

Thank you for your insights, but how exactly is the “allow the space” - not texting and/or replying to their chats? We are actually back together, but the communication has dropped, the distance is …

r/attachment_theorycomment5/27/2025
Excessive Rumination

Love this comment. I’ve found it to be so true. For a regular ex I was with for nearly a decade and we had a fairly normal/stable/secure attachment to each other, maybe a little bit dependent on each …

r/attachment_theorycomment6/2/2025
Does anyone else go through phrases where they feel cynical about people easily?

I'm secure. I can't relate to those feelings in general but everyone hates a fake person! Not everyone is fake though. Not getting a response can make me feel anxious, let down, or rejected -- not g…

r/attachment_theorycomment6/4/2025
A Metaphorical Description of An Avoidant Reaching Out

I mean, I will only romanticize this if I didn’t know any better, but if I already did a research and I already experience how it feels like then I don’t give a flying fuck if they reach out I don’t c…

r/attachment_theorycomment6/7/2025