dates.

When you stop centering your whole life around a relationship (or lack thereof), it is a good idea to find something else to put your energy into that feeds your soul. I think "the thing" that you fo…

Tips regarding upgrading Contour — Hey everyone :) We have a Contour (https://projectcontour.io/) and are a bit behind when it comes to version updates. There is a guide on their website here [https://projectcontour.io/resources/upgr…

Struggling with losing my best friend/coworker, anxious attachment + limerence making it unbearable — Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for this long post. I’ll just post the TL;DR at the start. TL;DR: Lost my best friend/coworker of 7 years after a conflict. He’s now cold/avoiding me but friendl…

Seeking self-closure — To give a brief overview. Had a multi year situationship with someone I had fallen for, a fearful avoidant. Much pulling and pushing until it ended by her pushing everything away. A year later she st…

How to unlearn? — Hello all, I have been practicing meditation and breathing exercises regularly for the past nine months and it has been having immense effects on my life.. I coupled this with yoga, shadow work and s…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

AAPI mental health meeting irl (free Seattle area) — Come through if u have time! Check out our social media too for updates. https://www.instagram.com/lotusrisingofficial\_?igsh=dXlpdXR6b2VwcWR6&utm\_source=qr

Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…

My mom who disowned my for being gay is ready to forgive me, oh and for me to financially support her and my dad after he retires of course. — I don’t speak to any of my family anymore because they disowned me for being gay after i was outed. It hurt at the time but honestly the more time i spent away from them the more i realized how awful …

Got back with my ex: DON’T DO IT — So, as the title goes, I got back with my ex for a one-week long situationship. We were together for six years, then she decided to break up with me a month ago. She went on to live her “single-colle…

For those who have accepted / semi- accepted being alone... what are you filling your time with now? — I have semi-accepted that there's a chance I will not find the type of person who fits my life. I'm not saying I deleted the apps ...the apps are still there, but no match does not make me feel sad …

Surprise Surprise another tale of a cheater — Surprise Surprise another tale of a cheater Throw away account Midwest USA(MI) M42 F40 Two kids 20years of married Found out late December clear signs of cheating (got to work bag, bottle of lu…

Dating Apps Make Me Feel Super Lonely — Hello all. I'm a 45 (M). I rely far too heavily on dating apps because my current job (which I'm seeking to leave) is pretty isolating with respect to meeting new women. I also pretty much have no fr…

What Happened? — Just looking to gather perspective from someone else. I (M34) matched with someone (F36) on Hinge back in December. Got along really well and had two dates in January, which went really well. We kiss…

Intentionally having bad sex? — OK, so this one was a new one to me. I (50f) have been dating a guy (51m) for about two months. Took it semi-slow on having sex by agreement \~6 dates 4+ weeks of dates. First time was wonderful. T…

How do you know when you're just in a relationship because you've known them for so long? — I have my mom telling me my bf is no good for me. I got a text from a person saying that my bf had an inappropriate relationship with them, they were a band kid like he was. The old band members are b…

Update 03. I feel connected? — Can anyone explain to me what’s happening? I feel like a different person but I’m still me. I have no idea what’s going on but I have become extremely peaceful. I went from having arachnophobia to s…

Need advice: How to properly end a long-term relationship? (F19, M20) — Hi, I just want to ask for advice on how to handle this situation properly. I’ve been in a 3-year relationship, and we’ve already gone through one breakup before but got back together. When we got ba…

I (29F) found out he (30M) had a girlfriend of 3+ years after dating for 4 months and he FAINTED TWICE — I met this guy through a mutual friend. He had his eye on me for a while via social media and asked my friend about me. My friend then showed me pics of him and I said he’s cute. He would do this thin…

HINGE APP Am I doing alright on Hinge or nah? (30M) — I’m a 30M East Asian guy, 6’2, in Canada. Just got out of a 10-year relationship (also a single dad of 3), so I’m pretty new to dating again. Downloaded Hinge 5 days ago just to try it out. So far: …

1 Year After My Breakup: The Honest Reality & What you can expect — **1 Year After My Breakup: The Honest Reality** A little over a year ago, my 4-year relationship ended out of nowhere. I’m 27M, she was 25F. One night we had dinner, watched a movie, everything felt…

To pay or not to pay — I’m a woman that gets asked on quite a few dates. I generally let the guy decide what kind of date he wants it to be ie coffee, drinks or dinner. I can usually tell by the end of the date if I want …

27 M my first gf left me for another man. — I don’t have my first relationship until I was 24. I met her (let’s call her Ashley) while working fast food after I stopped going to college due to Covid & tuition. She was a typical alternative type…

Can people truly change — I’m 18 and I need honest advice. I’m going to lay out everything in order by year so it makes sense. 2024:This is when we were together originally. During this time, she cheated on me multiple times…

Creepy behavior before date? — I'm preparing for a 3rd date with the guy on Saturday. Totally ok, we've had a couple of great dates. We're 3 miles apart but haven't been to each other's homes, although we know the general area ve…

1 year since D-Day, and I didn’t cry. — 1 April marked a year since my then boyfriend cheated on me. I found out a month later, so I guess I was bracing myself for both dates. One down. I spent nearly 9 months after that absolutely crying m…

My mother was a teacher. She understood children. She used that against me. — Before my sister was even born, my mother sat me down and did something I didn't have a word for until recently. She walked me through every single feeling I was going to have when the baby arrived. …

What do you miss? — I have been divorced for years now. No serious relationships, mostly just some physical ones and a few random dates. I have been content with that because I need a lot of personal space and tend to ke…

Need some advice/dating support — Feeling a little down in the dumps lately. I recently just got out of a 3 year relationship. He broke up with me because "he loves me but isn't in love with me". I just keep finding myself so sad to…

Am I overreacting or was this just a mismatch in communication and expectations? — I (21F) was talking to a guy (22M) for a few weeks and I’m trying to figure out if I handled things wrong or if we were just incompatible. In the beginning, things were good. He was consistent at fir…

How often do you get approached in real life? — I’m 46F, was married for over 15 years and got divorced last year. Since then, I’ve been on dating apps and I get likes and matches and gone on few dates. For the past few months, I’ve been casually …

Narcissistic Abuse — TL;DR follows. Two years ago, I met a girl that acted cute, cheerful and sweet all the time. She used to talk about how she does not like swearwords nor smoking because it's bad for the health and sh…

Need to vent — F26 M28, we’ve been dating for 10 months. My boyfriend is the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. He’s kind, a gentleman, has a good job, has never played mental games like my exes, and is just amazing. My …

Rekindling Relationships — Partner of loving four years called and wanted to go on a break/breakup very recently over distance, and needed space to find ourselves again. My mental health was at its worst this year, and did weig…

Girl (24F) I’ve been talking to for 4 months (26M) doesn’t acknowledge my photos and keeps bringing up other guys — So I (26M) met this girl (24F) on a dating app and we’ve been talking for about 4 months now. We text pretty much daily (long conversations) and have regular calls too. It’s long distance right now. …

Girl (24F) I’ve been talking to for 4 months (26M) doesn’t acknowledge my photos and keeps bringing up other guys in our conversations — So I (26M) met this girl (24F) on a dating app and we’ve been talking for about 4 months now. We text pretty much daily (long conversations) and have regular calls too. It’s long distance right now. …

My wife is having an online affair with a bot — I (60-F) found out that my wife (41) is having an online relationship with what I think is a bot. This is all through pridedates.com . She has spent >10k talking to this person. The site charges for …

[28M] I pay for absolutely everything for my [26F] girlfriend of 3 months. She gets mad when I need to work weekends on my startup. Am I being used? — I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 3 months. I recently left my corporate job to build a startup. I still make good money/have savings, so I don't mind paying for dates. She is a 26-year-ol…

First Date Therapy Sessions (Help! 😂) — Many of my (37M) recent first dates turn into therapy/counseling sessions, and I’m personally struggling with how to discern that ahead of time or manage situations, because there’s no sign of that le…

[Success Story] Canceled an unwanted visit even after tickets were bought! (Proof included) — Hi, my family in Neville! I wanted to share a recent win because it taught me so much about the importance of making firm decisions and remaining faithful, even when you do not feel "perfect" or the 3…

the LOML got married, Don't know what to do, how to process 24M/25F — **What do you do when the love of your life marries someone else three days ago and told you she still loves you a week before the wedding?** I'll try to keep this as short as I can (I failed). Abou…

Is no friends in the area a red flag? — Went on a date with a woman and one of her feedback was that because I don't have any friends in the area, it is red flag for her. The conversation was basically: Her: do you do things with your fri…

Bouncing back from heartbreak — Hey, Day 1 of transforming myself into a stronger and better version after my breakup. I want to prove who I really am, and I’m serious about it. I’ll give my best every single day. I’m emotionally d…

How to move forward after a traumatic relationship? — TW: SA, emotional abuse I know this might be a long post, but this has been weighing on my mind for the past year and a half and I just found this community and thought someone may have some advice. …

How do i move on? — Hey guys, i have a slight dilemma. Let me just say my entire story. When I was 17 i was w my partner for almost 5 years. I love him but it became toxic, he cheated and what not. I fully trusted him he…

Still works!!! Every once in a while I test myself and abilities with random objects/animals — My main technique to test my abilities is "butterfly technique" every once in a while I test myself with this technique. I developed this first in 2023 when I started read about Neville. Next day I w…

2 dates on one day. Is it in poor taste? — As the title says, is it? Also am I setting myself up to potentially have 2 bad dates in the same day? I have had it in the past if I have a particularly bad date on a Friday night then have another …

What happened to me when I stayed. — I’m not here to tell anyone what to do. I’m just going to tell you what it actually feels like on the other side when you decide to stay. Try to forgive. Try to reconcile. If you’re thinking about …

confused if i [24NB] should break things off with the girl [23F] i'm talking to? — tagged nsfw for mentions of abuse (verbal and physical) long one, just gonna get right into it. i, 24NB (afab), am currently talking to this girl, 23F, who also has/had a fwb. we're both african amer…

Husband cheated with coworker — After 9 months of feeling like something was off with this coworker and being told I was jealous, paranoid, etc. I caught my husband sexting her while he was in the shower. He says that it was “only t…

Stuck on Abusive relationship — Hello there. Firstly, let me start with this: I know I acted terribly and was not a good person in this situation. This is genuinely the worst thing I've ever done, and I suffer for it every day. I do…

Some of these comments are saying silly (and heteronormative) things like "weird around children" or "checks out other women when they think you're not looking". Obvious reminder that being uncomforta…

Please help, I am currently dating a DA, and I feel like he is pulling away. She does not express any interest in seeing me, despite us being in a long distance relationship and almost a month of not …

1. Therapy is like training wheels. If you can’t even ‘shop’ for a therapist, meaning: seeing their profiles, interview them, try it out, switch, maybe come back, maybe move on means you don’t have a …

With avoidance you just cant build anything with them. Not until they realize they are the ones sabotaging themselves. That's why people try different tactics thinking they are going to weed them out …

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

I’ve been dating someone whose behavior seems to text book match a lot of what I have read about Dismissive Avoidant and Fearful Avoidant. They are somewhere in between the two, but I would say mostly…

In order to overcome my anxious attachment, I wouldn’t say I’m fully healed yet, but I’m so much better compared to earlier this year. One thing I want you to understand is that there’s nothing wrong …

I hope he does respond. I tried being calm, Rogerian, active, passive, using card games like "We're not really strangers" (not an ad), and other things like Gottman 8 Dates. Ultimately it didn't work.…

Yes, it is indeed 😅 I wouldn’t call it polite to breadcrumb someone when you’re not interested, the polite thing would be to actually say something. My guess is that he’s immature or avoidant, and ju…

Just found out I have an anxious attachment and thought I would share my current journey….This book was my intro into my anxious attachment journey https://a.co/d/hkWAHRB from here I purchased a journ…

I've been working through my anxious attachment tendencies with my therapist, and I've been putting myself out there and going on dates. One thing I'm realizing I'm struggling with is needing to go sl…

I'm a 51-year-old man, divorced twice, with autism and severe anxiety. I've been completely socially isolated with no friends. I met a woman online 6 weeks ago and we've had 1.5 in-person dates. I'm f…

I went through a devastating break up three years ago. My ex was a dismissive avoidant. We were in couples therapy before the breakup. I kept seeing the same therapist after the breakup and that’s whe…

I spent a whole year recovering from a breakup. I focused on healing and my anxiety. Very confident in dating. I go on multiple first dates. I’m having a good time. I feel in my own skin for the fir…

This was kinda why I asked the question. Not being able to talk about past relationships is the marker of avoidance, and having only negative things to say is the marker of anxiousness.  I totally ge…

How do you know if it is your anxious attachment or something about the other person that is making you anxious? I recently dated a guy for two months, one month exclusively. We didn't text between t…

Hi! I suffer from anxiety and recently had a strange dating encounter. And just trying to remind myself of the best way to deal with these types of situations going forward. Quickly, I went on a date …

For me, awareness came first, repair later. I actually know the exact dates. I'm not sure what the exact trigger was though. Our situation has been stabilizing, as the youngest has gotten settled into…

I think the love bombing. Planning to many dates. No exciting things etc I'm not really sure so I'm sorry If I'm wrong somewhere

I (25F) and a guy I met on CMB (27M) just met a week ago and I got super infatuated with him the first few days. We share a lot in common and I wanted to rush into things despite my plans beforehand b…

I love the idea, but not sure I currently have capacities to do this. Thank you so much for offering to support. I will keep following this thread to check for updates.

I’m a FA leaning secure (previously leaning anxious) after leaving a long marriage and experiencing my first DA discard. I have been using casual sex as a way to explore sexually in my 40s. I lived a …

- for obsessive thinking to stop asap, you have to make sure there are as few memory triggers as possible. Also, you have to consciously stop yourself when you feel ready. Find distractions, hang out …

Really struggling with gaining the enthusiasm to even go on dates.

you should still go when YOU WANT TO GO OUT ON DATES. you're not going to be successful ever if you're going on dates whilst being miserable. Like... it's palpable when people don't want to be there.

I think clarity and expectations are important. I think it could be helpful to tell her that you have been enjoying seeing her, and just let her know that you are currently still looking to keep thing…

You've been on three dates. Just text her and tell her you don't feel the right connection to move forward. No reason to overthink this.

As a guy, I've heard this question a lot (maybe not from 80% of matches, but close to that, though never as a first question). And yes, I've been a person asking that question or using "what about you…

My ex of 3 years ago reached out after the turn of the year. She sent a sweet text and I’ve been exploring getting to know her again. She lives 2 states away, but I’ve even had the opportunity to see …

Yeah, it comes off as mildly neurotic to me, but you never know until you meet them. I have to imagine the dude equivalent would be the hustle culture quotes. I went out with a chick who had "honest…

Well. Like everyone in this sub I seem to have anxious attachment tendencies. While I do not externalize them I do struggle with periodically reoccurring „attacks“. These attacks aren‘t substantiate…

Hahah maybe. I think a big possible difference is I am definitely partly sapiosexual, and can gain or lose attraction when I learn of certain qualities about someone. That with a mix of initially only…

Some of what I've heard women call "clear and obvious" flirting has be laughably vague and unclear. So no, its definitely not that simple, at least for new dates. But beyond a few dates with the sam…

Different strokes for different folks. I am never able to experience the spark, whatever it is supposed to be. My first dates are either "thank you not interested" for whatever reason or ok this fe…

The guy I'm seeing started calling me beautiful on our third date and still calls me that after 6 dates. It's very welcome. I will notice if it stops (and am somewhat expecting it to).

True story: The thing that finally gave me the confidence to start dating again after my LTR ended was reading a Reddit thread on the dumbest things men have done on dates. The bar is set so pitiful…

Dating two guys right now. Both are 35, as am I. One I have dated around 6 weeks and one I’ve dated 3 months. I thought the 3 month one was going to fade away the past couple weeks as he’s been dist…

Almost the exact same thing happened to me recently. I went on a date with a girl last Sunday for coffee. I messaged her afterwards saying that it’s hard to tell after 1 date but I had a good time. We…

It sounds like you get really emotionally invested in these dates. You can't let that happen. They are all people that you barely know. If you have some routine that you enjoy (I dunno, pickleball eve…

It's possible but unlikely. I've tried it and it's only worked out one time over dozens of first dates. Total lack of interest or reciprocation from everyone. The let's be friends is pretty much alw…

when my partner and i weren't living together, we would do tuesday night, thursday night, saturday and sunday together. we had our own lives and work. we live together now and baseline spend every nig…

I had a really good date on Sunday and I'm very awkward with first dates. I have adopt the practice of being upfront with people by either the end of the date or as soon as I get home. This guy said h…

In a LTR since Oct, but before that: When I'm in NYC: 20-30 per week between Hinge and Feeld When I'm in Pittsburgh: 3-5 per week between Hinge and Feeld I live in Pittsburgh lol. But I typ…

Im in NE Ohio, so the fact you are getting 3-5 per week with Hinge is a lot better than me! I have so far only gotten one match ever. I kind of want to see your profile just to see what you mean / are…

It’s been a very difficult 24 hours for me. About a month ago I matched with a woman on Facebook Dating. She lived 2.5 hours away, but I messaged anyway. After a few messages, I suggested moving to t…

Hundred percent job interviews are more difficult than dates.

i’m not sure what you meant by ‘intentional’ because this sounds like anything but. seems to me you want a penpal and, while he’s been admirably patient, he’s not interested in continuing that dynamic…

Really depends on how long you known each other and how long you actually “dated”. I knew my bf from high school, we reconnected as adults and dated for like a month before deciding to be exclusive.…