functional

I went to a Physical Therapy intake appointment today, and part of the protocol was asking "Do you Feel Safe at Home?"...........and apparently I said "no', but had no Conscious memory of saying that. OMFG. — I f'ing hate trauma bullshit CPTSD so f'ing much. I thought I was doing fine, wore my best workout outfit to my First PT apointment, so I didnt look like the hot mess that I feel like inside. I…

How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …

Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …

Handling another crush as a FA — Hello all, spring is here and so is a new crush. I really can't get used to how excited but anxious my butterflies and fantasies make me. Sometimes they make me so anxious to the point I get dysfuncti…

Need Guidance on Turning My Design Into a Functional Social Media Website — Hello everyone, I’ve been learning IT for the past few months, with the long-term goal of becoming a white-hat hacker. I also have a couple of years of experience in graphic design. However, when it …

What web builders would you recommend in 2025 for simple websites? — **I**’m looking to build a few simple websites in and wanted to get recommendations on what the best web builders are at the moment. I’ve been working as a digital designer for over a decade but woul…

Am I Overcomplicating This Workshop? (Personas or Empathy first? — Hey everyone! I need some advice on structuring a workshop for a client’s new product. They’re unclear on the direction (app/web/game?), target audience, or features, so I suggested a workshop to alig…

What will it take? — Seriously… What does it take to land a UX role these days? My wife is graduating with her masters in UX from a good program but it seems that the industry is evolving and everyone is making it seem …

I cannot figure out why Google Search Console keeps indicating "Couldn't fetch" — I'm looking over a client's website and one of the things I found was their sitemap doesn't report being crawled since last September. I resubmitted the exact map that was crawled (happens to be plura…

Is there a UX role in existence that doesn't involve so much documentation? — So I come from a background in design. I was a bit of a generalist before—branding, logos, layouts, art direction—and while that was fun, it started to feel fragile. Like I was always one trend away f…

10x increase in Shipstation monthly fee. Alternatives? — I've been using shipstation for around 3 years now, it's functional, but gets the job done. I only ship about 30-50 packages per month, and the integration with my website(wordpress->Woo->shipstation)…

Reasonable equity for Lead Engineer or Tech Co Founder in this scenario? App is live, Large follower base on socials, Profitable after 4 weeks, 200+ paid subs - i will not promote — Have launched the first camping app in Australia with video reviews, backed by 130,000+ engaged followers across platforms, directly grown from the campground reviews. App launch is already pro…

How much is ChatGPT going to replace Google? — many people and research say that ChatGPT is going to replace Google, especially after it has the search functionality, however, I am not sure if this is true, I have seen Google ads revenue going up …

Things to do with my non technical cofounder "i will not promote" — Hi all i will not promote So i have a startup / side business im working on, I bought a friend in as a cofounder as he's generally useful in going out making connections, someone to help with site …

Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…

Is WooCommerce the Right Fit for Your Wholesale Business? — If you're a wholesaler considering WooCommerce for your B2B operations, it's essential to weigh its capabilities against your business needs. Here's a concise breakdown based on insights from Qoblex :…

How to Build a Site for Both Art and Ecommerce? — Hi everyone, I’m a freelance graphic designer and currently have my portfolio site on Squarespace, which also includes a small e-commerce shop for art prints. I originally chose Squarespace because …

What are your favorite tools to share changelogs, roadmap & features feedback with users? — We’re a B2B SaaS platform starting with beta testers in our production environment. We’re looking to integrate a tool to facilitate communication with the users, including: * having visibility on the…

E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…

This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…

How to actually contact support? Phone number is dead, Chatbot is...dead? — I'm trying to contact support on behalf of a fortune 500 company to regain access to some of our shops that because of turnover and neglect (thanks Covid) we've lost admin access to. Yes, we should h…

Seeking a low-maintenance frontend/CMS stack for modernizing 10+ year old sites — Hi all, I’m looking for advice on a conservative, low-maintenance frontend and CMS stack for modernizing a couple of old but still functional client sites. **Background:** I’ve got two long-lived s…

What Platform Engineering Really Means (and How It Differs from DevOps and SRE) — Hey all, I just wrote a piece breaking down what **Platform Engineering** is — not just as a buzzword, but as a real discipline that’s emerging in many engineering organizations. 🔧 **Key takeaways…

ID this Wordpress Theme? — I'm a very beginner Wordpress user who can implement some themes, but I want to build out my website to have much of the same functionality found at [https://coucoufrenchclasses.com/](https://coucoufr…

What made you hate component libraries? — Component libraries make life a lot easier, cause I don't need to spend 6 hours trying to figure out why my dropdown menu won't align to the middle by 3 and half pixels. However, as time goes on you …

How do you effectively refine wireframes into a responsive design? — I’m currently working on a website redesign and started by sketching out some wireframes to get the structure right. I found some great wireframes on [wireframes.org](http://wireframes.org) to use as …

Any experience running and managing many locations on POS? Switching from Square and I’ve got questions — Shopify POS as a refreshing breath of fresh air over Square on many points. However, they seem to fall short on some really obvious things. That make me think maybe I’m the crazy one and just don’…

Solo founder here—bootstrapped a travel startup, no bookings yet. Influencer model failed, paid ads feel too risky. What would you do? — Hi everyone, I’m a solo founder of hopmytrip.com trying to build a travel group tour platform—basically fixed-date trips to places like Bali, Thailand, and Vietnam, where people from any country can …

Looking for WP setup: searchable listings + user edit access — I'm working on a project using WordPress and I'm looking for advice on the best **theme or setup** to make this work easily. # Here's the concept: * A **homepage with a search bar** where users can …

I made a custom date-time picker using pure JS and CSS. — Hey r/webdev. A few months ago I put together this date-time picker system for a project I was working on, as I needed a professional way for users to be able to select dates and times for various fun…

Americans working in majority Indian workplaces. What do you need to know to succeed? — I’ve been working at my company for a year or so and it’s been great. I’ve learned a lot of new tech as well as practice old tech (Django). My team is also quite strong and I can’t really complain. I…

ELI5: What is TDD and BDD? Also, TDD vs BDD? — I wrote this short article about TDD vs BDD because I couldn't find a concise one. It contains code examples in every common dev language. Maybe it helps one of you :-) Here is the repo: https://githu…

Spent 1 year solving a problem users “loved” but wouldn’t pay for: my learnings [I will not promote] — We are 2 years into building our SaaS, but spent 1 year building something people “loved”, “were excited about”... yet did not pay for. Since then, we have slightly pivoted and gained traction, but I …

What are your pain points? — I have been in the business world for many years, usually putting out fires for the businesses I have worked for. Over the last few years, I transitioned into Functional Business Consulting and foun…

I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…

Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…

Is it just me or is "date secure people" a bad idea? — To be specific, people who were born into families that fostered secure attachment. Not earned secures. I think the latter is exactly what I need but there's no stat on how much of the population is e…

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

“You must respect your mom, she’s your mom.” — How many times have I heard this lecture? People who have normal families have absolutely zero clue what they are talking about. When people see a situation or even read a situation they can’t tolera…

When did you finally realise, your life would never be ‘normal’? — I am 47M I grew up in an EXTREMELY dysfunctional household, with every type of abuse you can imagine, and death of a parent at 12. I’ve had to fend for myself since that age, whilst being used and a…

The phrase "you're so strong" is pissing me off. — ETA: TW tags and NSFW added. I apologise. Had a dysfunctional childhood, abusive stuff of all sorts, was struggling with major depression and being extremely suicidal in my teens, have been through a…

I achieved my dream… now what? — Hi everyone, I’m in my early 30s and I’m facing a luxury problem I never thought I’d have. I’ve basically achieved what I set out to do, since I was a kid. I have a good education, a well paying job…

Has anybody found awareness to be functionally unhelpful? — As I spend more time actively aware of the present I've become quite successful at recognizing, acknowledging, and not judging my emotions as they arise in me. I don't find that this helps them pass h…

"No one is coming to save you" Yeah, I know, because I saved myself. — I literally fucking hate hearing this. I can't save myself anymore. I'm burnt all the way out and am nonfunctional from saving myself. I still consider that I'm continuing to save myself by at least …

I'm tired of people assuming that everyone can afford therapy. — I live in a third world country, I'm non functional and I depend on two abusive parents, who refuse to let me go to therapy. I also don't have the money for it, I don't even have a job.. Anytime peopl…

Horrified to find myself talk to my baby the way my mom used to talk to me — I grew up with two parents who hated each other but stayed married. They were also emotionally very distant and verbally & physically abusive to me (they'd beat me up sometimes). I don't ever remember…

Spring Cleaning and Change — Currently, the biggest benefit for me since the new year has been discarding items. I've gotten into a bad habit of stockpiling possessions in one room and eventually thinking I would take action on t…

Considering divorce from my husband. I need perspective. — Hey everyone, I've been lurking, but it's my first time posting, so sorry if this is inappropriate. For starters, I'm not asking for advice, as in "what to do", but more like perspective in case I'm …

This!! Same man. I want to use my trauma as an excuse but the truth is when I was with her I only knew my own toxic coping skills taught by my manipulative dysfunctional family

Getting your medicine right will make a big change. It didn’t cure my sadness and grief and fear and all the things that came with my new circumstances but when I finally got on the right dose of the …

Don't even get me started on how dysfunctional people are with relationship skills these days. Absolutely based on lust, transactions and selfishness. Most younger people have ZERO clue how to love. T…

If he makes you this dysfunctional, I would not pursue this at all. High chance he is emitting energy that feeds a - unconscious - known and chaotic dynamic/pattern to you. Expectations of this sort c…

Thank you for your comment! I wouldn't have this accomplishment without my therapist. I came here because I got really scared and felt urgent with another rush of feelings. Just talked to my therapist…

I didn’t like the book attached bc he basically denigrates avoidants & says the only way forward is to be jn relationships w secure people- which js statistically not possible & ignores the vast treas…

That's not how relationships work: they don't come in waves or at your convenience, for a short time. And, no, relationships are not 10% of most secure people's lives. It's more like 50-50, otherwise…

Happy for you. Nobody asks to have an attachment style that’s dysfunctional. I’m working through mine and try so so hard to have compassion for others. But a big part of self love is learning how to h…

He’s going to leave you. I’m sorry. I can guarantee this. He’s extremely immature, and you are trying to be his mother and his therapist. It will backfire on you spectacularly. He needs professional h…

No, my statement has nothing to do with validation. I find when someone says 'that's invalidating', they haven't sat down and thought about what they're saying. And why would I need to constantly vali…

If he can’t even return a simple “hi”, there are other psychological issues going on there. That’s not all DA. I wish people would stop attributing extremely odd behaviors to DA 🫠 we are functional i…

>Note: It's at that point when most secure people will leave a relationship with an insecure attacher, when their reasonable requests start getting shot down. That's what I was going to say too. If y…

I’m writing a declarative orchestration engine for integrating mainframe jobs with modern cloud stacks. I intern at CA DMV and work on a bunch of gnarly AWS ETL pipelines so this kind of grew out of m…

My company is ready to pay reasonable price for the software we use and that provides value over FOSS ones. Unfortunately many companies go for crazy unrealistic pricing models and then complain that …

It would be really cool to add some functionality around not only understanding what changed through the layers of one image, but also what changed between two different images.

Hey! Nice operator you have there. But it's not well received because it is an antipattern. The restart of pods should be achieved through liveness checks not by a hard-coded operator that restarts t…

It’s a common challenge. It sounds like you might need a stronger structure for cross-functional communication. Try setting up clear documentation (like a shared roadmap), defining goals for each team…

I don't understand all the salty responses that talk about "bending over backwards". If you have anxious attachment, you will need to do attachment work to make sure your side of the equation isn't co…

What bothers me the most is how OP's relationship progress is being dismissed. It doesn't seem to be enough that they reached a functional state and OP is happy at the moment, getting his needs met. …

No, you didn't get lucky. I know it feels like a win, but look at how much thought and work you have put in to make a relationship barely functional. You say you don't want to fix her, but you do ever…

Ignore please, nothing good comes from you interaction with him, its already dysfunctional communication, you are in for more confusion, pain and suffering.

OP I just think it's important you don't idealize her. It's not a good start when you create a mental binary that basically goes "I'm FA (dysfunctional and in the wrong) and she's secure (healthy/al…

Yes I know this feeling. A big thing that helped for me was to actually notice when I'm picking my partner apart in my head or feeling some ick. I have to objectively observe those feelings and ask if…

OP you can also find the official DBT workbook online for free and go through it yourself. it's got 100s of pages of skills-based lessons and exercises. if you can't afford the therapy you can DIY the…

As a fellow CPTSD survivor who has worked in the field for 2 decades now (internationally), both clinically and therapeutically, I want to give you hope; it doesn't ever have to get to the point again…

Thank you for your comment. I'm feeling this very much in my own life now. Holding onto the open of functionality and affection years into a relationship.

Oh I see, interesting. I don't think he had BPD but he definitely would idealise me in the beginning and then devalue me in the deactivation stage. I definitely noticed his black and white thinking an…

Eh. The DA runs deep. I also have plans and thinking around leaving at a certain date in the future. Everything is always in the moment. I could drop the ball and fall back into my ways at any time. R…

No one has an attachment style. You engage in behavior strategies that are effective for that specific relationship. People do end up dating others that are familiar that allows for that behavior to b…

It sounds like you are trying to make it logical when most often dysfunctional relationships are not logical at all. Whatever issues he has are his problem. What you can clearly see is that he is not …

So I (35M) have an anxious avoidant attachment style, and I really don’t enjoy it. My Ex (32F) is pretty much exactly the opposite which had us in several head butting moments where she just wanted to…

I'm glad you recognized the bias for yourself. It's so noticeable as an avoidant, as I carry many scars from APs (not demonizing all of them, just obviously insecure attachment is a two sided coin.) S…

Text of original post by u/TranslatedIntoArt: This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them sti…

I would also be wary of relying too much on support groups, as they can become dysfunctional if not managed well. Before this sub became moderated, it basically functioned as an echo chamber where unh…

Text of original post by u/upernikos: I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I reall…

I’ll second what the other person has commented- that you gotta stick to your boundaries. Though I’m picking up on things that may be concerning here. I am not accusing anyone of anything, but are y…

It is very tough to make a distinction being so far removed from the individuals themselves, but I agree that as a FA, the people who have activated me the most- I also never saw them as “perfect” vs …

Okay I don't know if this is going to be controversial or something but here are my two cents: * *Yes*, building secure attachment means - allowing yourself to have preferences, and not engaging in r…

Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfun…

No, I am not inverting the two. The avoidant attachment system is dismissive towards the internal self. There is a common misconception within mainstream pop-psychology attachment theory that dismiss…

This relationship sounds horribly dysfunctional. She is acting abusively controlling and then trying to punish you with a break up in hopes that you will change and conform to her demands. This is all…

I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …

Feeling pain doesn’t mean that they won’t choose to leave. If a relationship is not working, or if it’s dysfunctional, a secure person will move towards ending it. Insecure attachments are inflexible,…

Self discovery is a painful, slow, grueling process. I feel so alienated despite being so loving. I adore the people (not my dysfunctional family though lol) around me and it hurts when I can't let th…

Sure, all this information is accessible to anyone that wants to read Dr. Crittenden's work on the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment. Type A attachment defined my the DMM: >The Type A pattern…

I sometimes listen to aca voices across America podcast. It’s a dift speaker on every episode telling their story. It’s recorded from an aca meeting, which is recovery from growing up with alcoholic o…

You feel like you are in a better place because you removed the trigger and now you are “romanticizing” the connection you two have. Even if they are just a friend…you are basically only thinking abou…

It was just an ad hominem. This user thinks that my my acknowledgement of sexual dimorphism and differences in gender constructs and societal expectations is an endorsement or that I'm somehow using t…

Glad to hear a comment going the opposite direction. I just turned 32 and was starting to get more depressed from all these replies lol. Dating has been tough / non-functional my entire life. But I ki…

Text of original post by u/pineconewashington: Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we can…