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Citations (101)
Ah yes, all my life with my mother. I learned as a kid that the way she does Christmas shopping is to aquire whatever things throughout the year and then a week or less before Christmas, spread them o…
Am I crazy? Growing from a single freelancer to an agency with a team — Hi everyone - quick background: I'm a freelance web designer/developer who's been doing this thing now for almost 15 years. I've done it under a studio name, but it's always just been me, with some oc…
Other attachment styles — I know the normal 4: Secure, Anxious/preoccupied fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, plus disorganized, which is just sort of an "all of the above" In doing parts work, I've been trying to figure…
Helping my partner — I (40f) looove my partner (36m). We've been together almost 9 months. When he isn't triggered, he presents as very secure. Loving, consistent, communicative, vulnerable, empathetic, self-reflective. …
Cannot stay attracted to dating app matches — I've never been in a relationship but I've been working on myself a lot and trying to put myself out there to find love. And I've just noticed a pattern of mine. But I just keep losing interest or ge…
Why you should always schedule your job interviews in the early morning. — I got reminded today of a very important tip when you're setting up interviews. \>> Do not set up job interviews at the end of the work day. In short, there have been studies done on judges that sho…
Research -- What makes you hire a copywriter? — Hey everyone, I'm doing some market research and would really appreciate any input you have. Also, this isn't a promo post or anything of the sort, just me diving into the market. First off, a bit ab…
Helpless( I will not promote) — I have been looking for a summer internship in the AI and ML space for two months now. I have one related to web scraping under a professor at an institution, but it will be unpaid. I also have anothe…
Offered Technical Cofounder Role — How Much Equity Should I Ask For? [I will not promote] — I initially joined a startup as a developer, building the product from scratch — no existing codebase, no tech team, just me & one junior developer. After a few months of work, the founder has now off…
From IT Support to DevOps: How Can I Be Production-Ready? — Hey all, I've been working in IT support for 6 months and recently got into automation, which led me to explore DevOps. I've started building personal projects and put them up on nishdevops.org—would …
Equity with new cofounder and fundraising. I will not promote — I'm starting a tech startup company. Currently outsourcing the tech team to build the app - every tech person I met wanted to be paid cash and wanted to take up to a year to get the platform up and ru…
Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…
I need you advise am i a UX Jnr Midwieght or more? — **Hi everyone, I need some advice.** I’m currently a Junior UX Designer (30years old) in the UK at one of the top for new broadcasting companies such a Sky BBC ITV etc. **A bit about my background:*…
Marketing for startups (I will not promote) — (I will not promote) Proven strategies to take a startup from zero to scale ($10M+ ARR). As a 3X startup CMO, I have experienced tremendous success and a ton of failure. I have been involved in th…
E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…
This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…
I’ve been acquired!!! — Call it selling it out or whatever but when another company came calling with that deal and that check, all my hard work, all my team’s hard work, all the long nights finally paid off. Knowing that …
Discuss SaaS idea - API wrapper — Hello everyone! I am building a tool that turns *any* API (yours or third-party) into a full SaaS website,. with a UI, user auth, billing, and deploy, in one click. It is a no-code solution, where yo…
How to approach colleagues ‘improving’ my copy with unedited Chat GPT? — Hi all, I’m a new and junior member of a very small team, we are overstretched and have far too much on the go at any given time, which inevitably leads to shortcuts being taken. I’m no stranger t…
Anyone feel like managing money as a solopreneur is just… a constant headache? — Between juggling invoices, taxes, and never-ending paperwork, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. What’s the one financial task you wish you could make disappear? Or is there a trick you’ve found that actu…
Need some help with SplideJS Carousel -- auto height is not working — I've got a jsfiddle setup for review. [https://jsfiddle.net/agvwheqc/](https://jsfiddle.net/agvwheqc/) I'm really not good with code, but know enough to waste lots and lots of time trying to figure…
Death by a Thousand Subscriptions: Is anyone's SaaS bills higher than their Ad spend? — I've been watching several eCommerce businesses in my network, and it's fascinating how many are drowning in subscription costs for essential software. One store owner I know is paying nearly **$500/m…
Rate limit when trying to log in to WP Engine — Hello everyone. I need to access to WP Engine to restart the plugins installed in a project. The administrators of the page gave me a link to create a password for my user and i loged in using my mobi…
To-do lists in text form don’t fit our way of thinking, they are slow and unproductive. To-Do Models is the way to go. — I’ve found Projects modeled visually instead of written in flat lists to be wayy more productive and successful. Traditional to-do lists are linear—one-dimensional. You follow a fixed path: top to bot…
I have an entrepreneurial spirit, but no direct or passion project. Am I doomed? — Hey, I come from a family of entrepreneurs, and I know what it takes to make visions come to life. I work super hard in my work, and I'd love to have my own thing one day, BUT I have no vision. I …
Solo founder here—bootstrapped a travel startup, no bookings yet. Influencer model failed, paid ads feel too risky. What would you do? — Hi everyone, I’m a solo founder of hopmytrip.com trying to build a travel group tour platform—basically fixed-date trips to places like Bali, Thailand, and Vietnam, where people from any country can …
Simple Hover Effect — **Hi,** I'm new to WordPress and I'm trying to create a hover effect for my homepage. Specifically, I’d like an image to switch to a colored version when the mouse hovers over it—the default image wo…
If anyone tried fiver or upwork, how long did it take for you to get your first gig? — I wanna freelance web dev but I want an idea for how long it’ll take. I know it’ll vary but still. Considering how saturated web dev is I don’t have high hopes but you never know
how do you manage cache browser control- after version update? — here's the problem- obviously we don't want to screw up our clients when they are working, so a new version should be in a manner that won't cause conflicts in the previous version, which has loaded …
Best & Easiest Mac Cloud Service for Simple Xcode Use? — Hi everyone, I'm looking for advice from anyone who has used cloud-based Mac services like: * HostMyApple * AWS EC2 Mac Instances * MacStadium * MacInCloud All I really need is a simple, reliable …
Where do you look for solutions for your pain points? — Hello guys This is not another post asking you for your biggest pain points. I already offer a service to solve certain pain points that companies of all sizes have. After working for years for diff…
CKA? Or EKS project? — Here's a bit of context as to why I feel like I need to get out of dodge ASAP... IT Management: "We need **more automation**! Nobody should be using User Data scripts." Me: \*Writes several Ansible…
How do you actually feel safe believing and knowing when it comes to an SP manifestation? — Brief context: I've studied the law on and off for 6 years. Tried to manifest 2 old SP's with varying success, then eventually having them both try to contact me, but I realized that I was shooting so…
Manifestation coach hired me and fucked me over — Hi everyone, this is my first post here and I’m writing because I’ve exhausted every other option. And I am FUCKING DONE WITH IT. I hope some of you will see this and help me to hold that person accou…
Afraid of the "how" — Hi to all. I have been studying the law and this sub since many years, then left, then (1-2 months ago) came back. I had my fair share of watching coaches, reading the content proposed here (and more)…
A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …
Starting over — Heya, I don’t want this to be a negative thread— looking for some positivity and hope maybe? I (34F) am recently out of a one year relationship. It was my first secure relationship in my entire adult…
Anxious attachment spiraling? — Hi everyone :) (26F and 25M) I’m in a healthy relationship, we have our disagreements but overall we work things out. We’ve been together for about a year and 3 months. Lately, I’m feeling overwhel…
Struggling with losing my best friend/coworker, anxious attachment + limerence making it unbearable — Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for this long post. I’ll just post the TL;DR at the start. TL;DR: Lost my best friend/coworker of 7 years after a conflict. He’s now cold/avoiding me but friendl…
Seeking self-closure — To give a brief overview. Had a multi year situationship with someone I had fallen for, a fearful avoidant. Much pulling and pushing until it ended by her pushing everything away. A year later she st…
4+ Months of LOB Practice — What's up people. Discovered this sub around the start of april 2025, and didn't actually navigate trough the index until about 15-16th of April, and after reading the index, starting 20th April I st…
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
The most painful relationship/breakup I've ever had, cracked me open for healing. Plot Twist: The text message llm tool said I was an FA, I ignored it for 5 months before I figured it out. — For five months I was absolutely certain I was dismissive avoidant. Monthly attachment coaching—as a DA. Studied obsessively, could recite every AP/DA/FA trait. I even built this text analysis tool, a…
Recovering DA trying to reconnect with FA wife — For context: * I (40M) am a DA, my wife (41F) an FA. We have three children. * Together for 17 years, married for 13 years, distant/no-touch for over 10 years but stable and no deep conflicts. * Cont…
Master’s degree, big scholarship, and leaving a toxic situation — Background: I was keen to leave my toxic family situation for years but let’s just say it wasn’t happening. I got a good job in my hometown, I found someone I loved who was desperate to marry me, I …
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…
(3.5 years) Where did I go wrong ? — So I was manifesting this SP(ex), whom I really love, for about 3.5 years now. I did everything - SATS, affirmations, mental diet, journaling, etc. But nothing happened. I read the power of subconci…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
Letter to my ex — **7th February 2026** “You will find me, right?” That sentence is the last sentence. The one that always stays with me. Every single day I think about it, and I think that’s why I know what I have t…
Everyone coming here from the other subs is blessed to have finally sought a break from the emotional self-harm that seems to be at the core of the methodology in these other groups... which I took pa…
>Hi everyone, > >I am new here.. i got the link of this group through the NG sub.. i am glad i found it.. i have been reading the posts and the content in the index.. i have started reading the P…
I can’t wait to read all of this information! I must sleep for work, but tomorrow I will read! I tried to AP last night and just ended up falling asleep.. I can fall asleep with in 30 seconds. So I…
Firstly congrats dude, that's awesome news. And secondly, sounds like both of you realized you had to do that deep work, and both were open AND available 6 months later... All these things have to ali…
Hello all, I am new to this site but I have been lucid dreaming since I was eight years old. I am now almost 66 years old. I had nightmares as a child. I decided that if I had a nightmare I would wak…
Quite common not being able to control it, when having no experience. I know it's related to keeping up with expectations to how things work, as in real life. I know it's possible to summon a dream gu…
I have adhd, this is alot of work, is there a shorter way😭
read actually anything by Margo Anand. (SkyDancing tantra) I’m 72 now, and i was always taught that any of this chakra, energy work, out of body experiences, visions, etc etc and etc was just a bunch …
It’s so funny how you act like you are an expert at this, but your profile tells a complete other story. A quick look at your profile shows someone who constantly asks for reassurance, needs help unde…
I had a quick glance at this on my break and will chip in more later, just by point 1 alone I see you haven’t grasped it, feeling is the secret indeed. But the feeling isn’t emotions. 2 That knowing…
And like clockwork, one click on your account shows that you haven’t manifested anything.
At this point in your journey, I believe, you need two ingredients: grieving and not avoiding your emotions (somatic work, journaling, revisiting painful memories, allowing yourself to cry, etc) and s…
sure but at what point is repeated “venting” just victimizing yourself/validation seeking? if you really do the work, you wanna live your life and invest your time in things that are interesting or …
You can. It's hard work, but you can. LMK if you want know where to start.
It’s been a year (yesterday) since my ex cruelly and coldly discarded me by text (after 18 months of dating… and lots of life experiences).. “I can’t see you anymore, I wish you well”.. It was massive…
This is the one. I'd also add that attachment doesn't just stop at partners — it's also at play at work, friendships, family relationships/siblings, and even children. It's really fucking hard to be …
They can be self critical, but that's actually the opposite of being accountable and aware because typically it's just another way to ruminate. I also think that tendency in general is what drives the…
I’m not playing the “Oh yeah, you’re a fan? Name five of their songs, then” game. As adults, we know when we’re taking responsibility and doing the work, and when we’re not. I don’t have to prove an…
I think I sometimes do feel like it’s a little bit of whiplash, but I think it’s more so when they haven’t been making time for themself or are burning the candle at both ends with work, etc, and we m…
That’s how you see it though. Some people are different and do not have the capacity to consider that, especially if they had a stressful day. Normally I respond to my friends, but the other night aft…
Attachment styles are not the sole factors for attraction we create. But cutting off people we have known for a long time - especially family members, to which we are bound to biologically - is a sig…
Yes, you can develop the habit of Prayer to strenghten your faith, ask for little things first with conviction that it’s done and when you’ll see it work, your faith will grow :) That’s what I did, y…
Your partner sounds Fearful avoidant, is he aware of his attachment style? I think all you can do is let him know in as blame-free way as possible that you notice a pattern in his behaviour that con…
Hmm. My experience so far is that I will use different attachment styles depending on circumstance. Most people I think have a default, e.g. A person who comes from a secure background will be willi…
DAs are already very self-critical. Most criticism we receive from others, we’re already aware of and have gone to great lengths to conceal and/or correct said issue. Even if said criticism is somethi…
" But I just keep losing interest or get unbearable anxiety around guys I meet on dating apps. As a man who has been on over twenty dates from dating apps I can say you are not the only one and you m…
> Question: Does Symfony block concurrent requests by design No. PHP applications run concurrently on each child process of the php-fpm interpreter, starting with a request and ending with it - unles…
The ones you use yourself at work, or the ones you'd want to use but are not allowed to.
It can’t hurt, especially in companies where you’ll need to know more than one area. If you are interested and don’t have that opportunity at work, do side projects where you learn these things yourse…
Maybe set up a lab and start studying the stuff you don't know well. That's my best suggestion because it's what works for me. I spend a lot of time inside and outside of work hours studying, both han…
If it’s like where I work, it’s a mechanism to control/restrict what those pesky dev teams are allowed to do by the “devops manager”.
I’ve used MacStadium and MacInCloud—MacInCloud was easier to get started with for simple Xcode work, but MacStadium felt more reliable long-term if you plan to stick with it.
Always, always try to show business impact. Estimate it if you can't derive it precisely, but whenever you can craft something consistent and useful for showing the value of your work, you gain tremen…
You don’t have to be great at the thing, just good at solving the problem and finding the right people. Most people start with what they can do themselves, hustle hard, then hire once money’s coming …
And THIS is why I just say I have to work, work on, work out, .....its simple, no one reading into it, or creating their own childhood stories out of my normal turn toward silence upon exiting.
I hear you and I can see that your comment is grounded in past experiences. Fair enough. The only reason I chose to pursue this was because I had new found knowledge. This was the first time I've date…
According to clinical data, even the most efficient protocols for attachment work, take 2 years to make someone secure. Sure, they are smaller milestones, but just to give you an idea. Two years, of w…
The health issues are spot on. Mi è had health problems SO VERY frequently, yet he looked super fit. I then started to slowly realize they would come up everytime he was overwhelmed with something (mi…
This is just someone regurgitating some LOApornstar nonsense about how important it is to give yourself a "mental diet" by forming a routine based in conscious thoughts with the hopes that your subcon…
This post takes 5 different topics and mixes them together into a mess which would confuse someone who's new to the Law of Belief and Joseph Murphys teachings. 1.Taking conventional action towards y…
I'm so happy to hear you've grown as much as you have. Putting the work in is hard work, and you are doing that. Thank you for sharing your journey. My ex is 45 now, we met when he was 38 (I was 35)…
Well, where do I start? I guess for me the foundation was based on 3 pillars. 1st was of course Mindfulness as ability to comprehend that neither thoughts or feelings are our true self, which is in fa…
Your interactions have to do with both of you, are all avoidaints self absorbed ego weirdos.do you use work,sleep,or all things to avoid accountability. Really when you’re presented with something tha…
I totally get it, I’ve seen corrective experiences work wonders in the moment. My background is in building real-time frameworks for clients and practitioners who deal with collapse or shutdown, espec…
This is your second tell that she is not secure and swing avoidant. Secured people have self-regulation techniques, are attuned to their bodies, and have habits for off-time to be with people or to c…
This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…
Ha, I could have written this. I spent a year with someone as I worked through my issues and we both didn’t immediately realize he was avoidant. Part of your healing should also be disengaging from s…
I would say becoming self-aware, reflecting about own unhealthy tendencies and applying secure behaviours definitely does something good however point of your comment is by my understanding that earne…
Like the things i was worried about my parents, my spouse, my children - they don't really bother me anymore. I am not worried that i will be abandoned, i know i am loved. I know i don't need to shut …
I was very careful not to speak in absolutes, and I made a very clear distinction between avoidants who are doing the work and those who are not. You are clearly doing the work, so your situation is n…