book
The Change
Evidence
Citations (101)
From a guy's perspective: I'm 42 now and my late wife was 9 years older than me. Like you, she looked younger than she was. Our running joke when we started dating was that between my hair starting t…
How to handle versioning in Figma? — I joined a project where the figma doesn’t match what is in the field for a mobile application. The project wants to re-baseline the app to what is in the field and keep up to date in the future. F…
Sitemap 404 error in Yoast — Hi everyone, I am stuck on this for 2 days. I am Getting 404 Not Found on my website sitemap, I have activated it on Yoast. Here is what I have done so far to fix this using youtube vidoes and Chatgpt…
Strange page name changes to en dashes from regular dashes. Bad for G4. — This is a bit of an odd question, but I noticed in google analytics that the page names have changed from a hyphen to a en dash (option + dash) – . The dashes are automatic where it puts the page name…
Attachment page with info — Hi, I've had a couple of basic Wordpress sites for about 15 years for my artwork using the Twenty Ten theme. I'd create a gallery, and on clicking the thumbnail, it would link to an attachment page wi…
SEO is updated on my Shopify page, but the text on the page hasn't changed. How do I fix this? — Hey everyone, I recently updated the SEO settings on a specific page of my Shopify store, including the title, meta description, etc. Everything looks good in terms of SEO, and the SEO score is solid…
Wordpress Staging vs. LocalWP for website redesign — Hey everyone, I’m working on a full redesign and cleanup of an existing WordPress website, and I want to make sure the development process doesn’t hurt the site’s current SEO at all — both during deve…
Found out my friend and her coworkers are stealing money from their job — My friend works at a small franchise location that is a self serve food place. The amount of staff is small (8) and I recently found out that the they all essentially steal money. The owner doesn’t li…
I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…
What s month it's been — The title says it all. Confronted my wife last month on the 7th last month at 1 am and learned that she cheated on me and was talking with someone. This was after an emotional affair that I discovered…
THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…
NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…
Perimenopause and dating — For the ladies. I'm 40F. I'm oh so very lucky that I'm going through perimenopause early. 😑 TBH, I feel ugly these days. My face has changed in the last year and I'm gaining a little bit of weight,…
Trans in a religious and conservative Viet household — Truthfully, it’s just awful. I (23FtM, pre-everything) am bisexual and trans. And I just happen to unfortunately be born in a Vietnamese Catholic household that loves our good ol’ president. Not to me…
My experience with Iboga — After 10 years of struggling with an autoimmune condition, I made a decision that completely changed my life. My iboga experience was one of the most profound and life-changing events of my life, and…
We are just 3d Printers — I get it now Our subconscious or minds or whatever it is that we are, are in the 4d. Potentially higher but let's just say the 4d. Time is not a constraint there, you can have many things in an insta…
My boyfriend (M25) saw an old video of me(F24) and was disgusted. How can I get over this? — I never thought I’d be making an advice post on reddit, but everyone in my present life is super split on the issue and can’t really relate. I genuinely don’t know how to fix this. So my boyfriend (M…
DMT: Has anyone had experiences where existing things were *changed* rather than seeing entirely new things? — I'm interested in a specific category of DMT experience I don't see discussed much. I'm not asking about seeing entirely new environments, entities, or geometric patterns. I'm asking about experience…
April 2026 Astrology: Key Dates, Weekly Forecast and Mundane Astrology World Events — April is one of the most active months we’ve seen. Not one planet is in retrograde. Aries fire and cardinal energy sets the stage for initiation, assertion and spontaneous energy. There is a bit of na…
Don't take, but give. Don't want, but be. — **“Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself. Turn from appearances and assume the feeling that would be yours were you already the…
Fiancé ended our 12 year relationship after meeting a new guy — Caitlyn, I'm sorry, and I miss you and still love you. I can't function. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do, and I don't know how much of this was me, and how much of this was him. Everyone has to…
Breakup after almost decade, lying,cheated, etc I made a Short list of “some” of the things that happened. I did see a lot of these red flags. — \- \[ i did not see a lot of these red flags but now i see them. He told me not sexual enough, don’t drink enough, do things that he wants, cheated on me, gave me an STD, \- \[ \] left me to pay my …
"You have to be hungry enough for your desire" — Well, I can bet many people here are NOT HUNGRY enough for their desire. When Neville expressed his desire to go barbados... He straight told Ab... "I have a *burning* desire to go barbados this time…
We desire a change in the Self — Many times when it comes to a desire, we are actually seeking for a change in ourselves. This is because you can only be aware of who you are in the moment. Really, you are always aware of yourself as…
It’s taken so long.. — I’ve finally had a deep realization about my breakup and it has helped me process a lot of lingering feelings. For the longest time, I blamed the other person for everything, imagining that they disca…
Uncertainty gave me happiness again. — Feel like I've been waiting around the last few years, and I'm not even sure what I'm waiting for. I'm just hoping life will fall on my lap one day. But life is out there, and it's also waiting. T…
I’ve realized too late. — I, 18F, recently just out of a 1 year relationship with my, 20M boyfriend. We broke up because he brought up that I had been invalidating him the entire relationship. It is not an excuse to say this b…
A dream and interpretation — I apologize for the uselessness of this to anyone, but submit it from loneliness and hoping to help someone who may find context in this. I know it is personal, and will appear to many as utterly irre…
My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. I'm still in love with her. — Quick backstory. My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. We broke up after being together for 4.5 years. We met on a dating app, I was 21 and she was 18. Everything clicked instan…
Spoon bending with psychokinesis and next steps — Started bending spoons with my hands a few days ago! I'm super excited about it and nobody around me seems to really care besides "oh, cool." I wouldn't have been able to do this before the tapes, the…
I am scared of relationships because I dont want my partner to grow old — I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’m scared of something that feels ugly to admit. I’m afraid that if I fall in love and get married, I won’t be able to handle my partner aging and becoming less…
My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. I'm still in love with her. — Quick backstory. My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. We broke up after being together for 4.5 years. We met on a dating app, I was 21 and she was 18. Everything clicked instan…
I (31M) am currently in a sexless marriage with my wife (33F). Wwyd? — My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for 3, and have two children. Our relationship has always been steady. Only ever had a few proper arguments, but we've always been able to work …
Losing trust in a clinical psychologist - what next? — I’m a freshly licensed counselor (M28) who has seen a total of 5 paid therapists in the past 4 years (another 3 previously who were trainees). The change were mostly due to stuck progress and my previ…
Back to square one in an obsessive loop — Currently on day 11 of a 3 year breakup I am deciding to use this account as tracking, as venting, and maybe a place to seek advice from the few kind people that reply. I want to be completely ho…
partner's parents are horrible people,, dont know what to do — Hi all, im posting kind of as a proxy for my (25f) boyfriend (27m) of 3 years, but also to rant from my own experience with them. His parents have always been an issue in our relationship from the st…
My boyfriend (25M) said he can’t trust himself not to cheat on me (21F) again — I(21F) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (25M), and we currently live together. We've had issues in the past with trust (he's been not loyal once before), but I've been trying to work through it …
What would be the best way for me (M38) to approach my wife (F37) of 10 years about separation and divorce? — My wife and I no longer get along, and we have nothing in common any more. On top of that we have a completely different set of morals, and we clash hard on so many things. We have 3 kids together. I …
Closure.. kinda of. Any advice? — So we talked again and I have my closure. He’s a lie, he’s a cheat, and he would still have sex if I gave him the chance. I told him that I did miss him in the sense of a person being here and sharin…
Meeting with my ex girlfriend this Sunday after 3 months — Hi guys, I hope you are all doing well! So my exgirlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. We were together for 2.5 years. The last year of our relationship wasn't the best, because I was depressed, I di…
Anyone else experienced a change from being hypersexual to hyposexual (asexual?) — It’s hard to come to terms with the fact I was groomed hard when I was younger. And that now looking back I see so so many red flags that are vivid and blinding. I often wish I could go back and save …
How can I start taking accountability rather than just saying I want to be a more fun and interesting person? — 19M and wanted to make a change for years but never put all the effort into actually making the change. I’d love to know how I can actually stick to the change and become the person I want to be which…
How do you know you're ready for the next tape? — 3rd day trying these tapes with meditation and have been stuck on the introduction because idk if im ready or not for the next ones. So far i can see the change the tape has and the meditation, Idk w…
why shift if you can manifest in your CR? — hello, okay so from my understanding manifesting and shifting is the same. why not just manifest the changes you want in your reality in your CR?
learning to guide your awareness will help you shift — After years I discovered something that really opened up a world to me about shifting. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS AWARENESS, that's all you need to dwell on. The moment you're trying your method don'…
After being ghosted, I finally heard from her after 4 months. — The relationship was 10 years. Me (M30) and her (F29). One night, 4 months ago, she just vanished. Never heard from her until last night. I tried numerous ways of contacting her in which nothing worke…
Torn about possible divorce after wife cheated on me. I'm petrified of hurting my boys. — Ok so my wife (f 46) and I (m 45) have been married for 10 years, together for 17. We had a happy marriage but over time we ran into some major obstacles. I began bringing stress from work home, letti…
Ex doing so much better without me — This is going to be a mess of a post because I'm currently spiraling rn I've (20M) been spiraling ever since my relationship with her (20F) fell apart. It's been more than a month since we last talke…
Tired of my mom constantly stealing the spotlight, even now during my engagement — I (F26) am recently engaged to my partner of 6 years (M26). My mom (49) also just got engaged, to a man she *met after* my engagement. We got engaged in June, and from what I can tell, she met him aro…
I’m not an expert in manifestation, but this is what started making sense to me. — Most people focus on techniques. Affirmations, scripting, visualizing. I did the same. It didn’t change much. The shift happened when I stopped looking at techniques and looked at self-image. Everyo…
Growing up with a mother who hates the idea of relationships. — I love my mother to death. I would do absolutely everything and anything for her if it meant she was happy. Ever since my siblings and I were young, we were always told not to get married early and to…
The protests haven't worked and Reddit is not reverting the change. It's a protest out of spite at this point which is pointless.
Ahh words! Jokes aside:TY for the response! Personally I am saddened at the new rules as I feel phone addiction (and by extension pron accessibility) is a prevalent issue, and one worthy of r/Decidin…
Bester Username 😂🤍 your reply filled me with so much pride and joy 🥺😩❣️🫂 you are doing the work. I am soo happy and glad to hear that 🤍🤍🤍 And YES! Thank you, very well worded. Your ex's *acti…
Me ex said he was “anxious attachment”, he proceeded to panic and freak out after he got me pregnant and dump and abandon me. Any time I talked about moving the relationship to the next level, or plan…
With more of those specifics I would say that part of what you are suffering from is the fear around how things have changed and will look different naturally. However you are personalizing it, as in…
I'm struggling with what is realistic to ask/expect regarding texting. I spent the entire weekend with my boyfriend, he left for work this morning and we texted throughout the day while he was at work…
Thank you SO much for taking the time to answer!!!! This is very motivating and I’m excited to see the change it makes. Thank you again 💗
I’m not entirely sure what advice you are seeking since you didn’t ask any questions. However, what I am getting from your post here is that there was likely some codependency going on. You admit to h…
When i am experiencing something that is the opposite of what i desire. I let it for a day or two. When i first did it it lasts for a week up to 2-3 weeks. After sometime, that "bad feeling" lessen th…
And how your partner behaves in relation to you! Someone mentions this down below, but even when someone moves more towards secure attachment if their partner does not move towards secure attachment …
I am really happy for you.How did the change come about? It sounds like you have been working hard on it, any tips?
Im working through my avoidance in therapy too and it looks very similar to you what you described. I noticed that if I’m intentional and confronting my avoidant tendencies with one friend or one rela…
\- You can absolutely fully break down in front of someone. Yes, people are fully breaking down in front of the people close to them - just not, like, all the time. Most people cry a little bit regula…
I’m not sure if this will surprise you but I actually don’t disagree with your counterpoint! I guess my question would be though: do you think it’s possible that some anxious folks might also misinter…
Same dynamic here but only 5 years in. How did you survive this long because I eventually got to the point of having enough. Right now in the midst of things at their worst they want change. They brie…
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I was 19. It took 9 months to find a reasonable treatment for it that mitigated many of the symptoms most of the time, I still spent two to three weeks …
I haven’t hit 35 yet, though it’s coming. However, your dating experiences sound pretty standard. It seems like what you’re describing is a schism between how people present themselves on the apps and…
How exactly does our culture *reward* hyper-independence? I don’t think all discourse makes such a definitive line in the sand as to how it relates to “needs” or “withdrawal”. Such topics are highly s…
Hey man , I’ve been seeing your posts here and there for a while. It’s so great to hear that your kids are responding to the changes you are making. I’m sure it is really difficult to look back over…
>He went from texting me pretty consistently throughout the day, checking in on how my day was going or updating me on what's going on in his daily life, to pretty much nothing. Leaving me on read/del…
You're not addressing an issue that can easily lead to breaking up, as it's already causing problems. You're not whining. Communication changes for a reason, he didn't go from wanting to talk to you …
Oh God, I am so sorry, this is so heartbreaking. Why they just don't say directly to our face that they lost interest or whatever the reason is for the change in their behavior... He didn't deserve yo…
I moved from a small town to a big city and the change in my dating life is major. I’m still single but dates are so much better. Even found a better job and better friends here. Life is good!
Pisces rising 22*30’ Saturn in Aries 18*16’ Saturn rules my 11th & 12th house My natal Saturn is trine my midheaven, but that’s literally it I’m 27 (almost 28) and at a major career turning poin…
You can either ask her why the change of attitude in case you did something to cause it, or just stop putting effort into a one sided relationship.
Uhm. Well my moon is conjunct my ex Jupiter. My Jupiter is exact trine my cap sun so my moon is a loose trine to my sun. My Venus is exact conj Saturn 7° cap and loosely conjunct Uranus 2° cap and 1…
Hi! So I have anxious attachment and have worked on this specifically like being more vocal about my needs and I can tell you that 1 through 4 are things that you are supposed to communicate and usual…
a full moon on your birthday means the moon is opposing your natal sun, which happens roughly once a year and marks the emotional peak of your solar cycle. it's like a personal harvest -- whatever you…
I do now, but I didn't for the first 40 years of my life, and I think I've been deactivated most of it. Even after learning about my attachment style and about deactivation, at first I could not recog…
Nowadays I usually know. Before I knew about attachment theory I would get intense panic attacks that would make me instantly end things with any romantic interest. I didn't know what was happening, b…
That is a big change. Give your brain time to adjust to the changes. Practice that flirting game, as it sounds like this has boosted your confidence.
This is kind of what I struggled with when I was dating. I wanted SO BAD to be an equal rights feminist and believed that if I'm after a partnership of equals, then our effort in dating should be equa…
And… I broke up with my (no longer) boyfriend. I should have done it last week and stuck to my original decision, but somehow we reached today as final breakup day. What a weird weird turn of events. …
Imo you can still talk to him and restart the dating process, but you're not his gf again yet. He has to show you that he wants to make the changes first , so it's a time to get to know him again. …
When you love someone, you miss countless things about them. Someday the love, someday the laugh and someday the body and someday the sex. It’s just human. But after moving on from many devastating b…
The good news about wanting change in my own life, is that by the time I can voice the change I want, I'm already close to having achieved it. It sounds like there are some things you value, and for…
lol I’m in the same position with my parents haha My mum is onto her second massive inheritance. She got the first one from her mother when I was 15 ish and she’d spent it by the time I was 25. She d…
People with peculiar worldviews often tell on themselves. Some people act poorly IRL and on the apps. It has always been the case. Am a dude with a cat (the cat is awesome and better than most peopl…
This is a huge post, and there is a way “to speak of the victory”. To get there. I’ll break it down in detail. It’s very, very important to go forward into the direction of hope and strength. That ca…
My dreams are definitely more vivid and I accidentally lucid dreamt twice. I feel like I overthink less as well. The changes haven't been too drastic tho.
The changes would be gradual and cumulative, not instant today. So what have you noticed over your 56 days?
OP, most times if it is "emotional" and they can find even a moment alone, there will be sex, they are adults. What I found in your post and comments here is rug sweeping overall. Yes, she did qui…
Good for you man! What a good post! Just keep moving, better days are coming ahead. Has your STBXW noticed the change? How are you doing with her? Does she want divorce as well?
"although I am trying to get to the root reason of these voices, I am not able to change it." **Awareness→Choice→Choosing** You're at the point of seeing you have a choice, and you're doing your bes…
I'll share a bit of my story, take from it what you will. I have a degree in political science. In 2015 I was living in Washington DC, reading from a minimum of five news sources a day. I knew polit…
I’m the dumpee, mine checked out years prior to the leaving but lied over and over. I felt the shift and the change along with the anger she had towards me for just existing but then she would play wi…
I'd be happy if it was genuine. Just because I left her doesn't mean I moved on months before as some seem to suggest here. It's not like I can just turn love off. If the woman I love reached out with…
Then first let me ease that fear. If she genuinely cared about you, and especially loved you, they most certainly did not move on quickly. It takes time to work yourself out of love, and it's a misera…
The 2 comments here that say im delusional for thinking he can change. And that im desperate for reaching out. On the first point. No im not delusion for thinking someone is capable of change. Some…
I had an ex who would rage text me for hours. He was relentless, even with me not responding and telling him I wasn't reading any of it. The best thing I did for my mental health at the time was to …