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Citations (101)
I love this intellectual response but so much speculation going on you made up. I don't know all the answers but personally I draw my sources from the best of the best. Robert Monroe was one man, and …
How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …
A Procedural Update for the Continued Health of Our Subreddit. — Hey everyone on r/NarcissisticAbuse. We get it, we really do– the U.S. political situation right now is a bloody mess with further escalation, rather than some kind of stability, on the horizon. W…
New people — Hello, I am fairly new to Joseph Murphy's teachings, coming over from studying neville for a while, my life has changed dramatically and continues to change each day. If you are new here as I am, REA…
Bundle pricing and host suggestions — Sup y'all, I'll start by mentioning that I did read through the FAQs regarding pricing as a web developer. This post is regarding bundling and host selection. I recently worked with my brothe…
Announcement Regarding Community Safety — Dear SEO Members, We are reaching out to address a serious issue that affects the safety and well-being of our moderation team and our community as a whole. It has come to our attention that the CEO …
Failing to Find Google Maps Scraper (that does everything) — I've built a directory listing website and I'm using WP All Import plugin to pull in data from a spreadsheet (which consists of scraped business info from their Google Maps / GBP listings). Being tha…
E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…
This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…
Common sense from an actual founder [fully boostrap 10M$ company] about startup studios' playbooks [i will not promote] — I don't post on reddit but I've recently seen an increased influx of post or people talking about X or Y playbook about how you should startup. i will not promote Let me get this straight, I won't cr…
I feel like I can build anything! I will not promote — I’ve been “vibe coding” since January 2024, at first it was just copy and paste between ChatGPT/claude and VS Code. I started making web apps, then mobile apps, etc. Struggling I must say but eventu…
Technical Advisor role - as individual or LLC? I will not promote — I'm negotiating a contract to be a technical advisor to a startup, with compensation by equity. Wondering what is best for the contract - to be between the startup & myself as individual? Or, between …
i will not promote: help finding willing creators! — Hey guys, I just launched an app and am looking to try out influencer marketing to promote it (TikTok specifically). We have been reaching out to content creators with emails in their bio but response…
Proud of my results as a non expert and want to share and say thanks! — I posted about my SEO efforts about 5 months ago and I had such a warm response from everyone that I kind of wanted to provide an update. I had both shared my results and asked for advice on next step…
Looking for advice when it comes to hosting client websites — Currently have around 50 client websites. All PHP/MySql based, using various versions of PHP. At the moment all sites are hosted on a managed dedicated server running WHM/cPanel. As the number of web…
Automated Texting for Customer Orders — Looking for an automated texting service that isn't bloated with unused features. Basically we are a small family farm that texts customers on any given day to collect orders. Would like a service tha…
Would you use AI to automate emails and newsletter drafting for your products? — Hey there marketeers! 👋 I’ve been working on an AI-powered newsletter tool that automates content curation, summarizes insights, and generates newsletters based on sources you choose. The idea is to…
Spent 1 year solving a problem users “loved” but wouldn’t pay for: my learnings [I will not promote] — We are 2 years into building our SaaS, but spent 1 year building something people “loved”, “were excited about”... yet did not pay for. Since then, we have slightly pivoted and gained traction, but I …
Do your deploy dashboards ever show business impact, or just health checks? — We pump every deploy through Slack + Datadog to see latency/errors, but PMs still ask “Did *that* hotfix nudge MRR or retention?” How (if at all) are you tying *revenue or product metrics* to ind…
My impressions of Lovable 2.0 — # My impressions of Lovable 2.0 with key features and upgrades I always had mixed feelings about Lovable. But given the amount of attention Lovable 2.0 has received over the past few weeks, I decided…
How to find willing creators?!? (TikTok) — Hey guys, I just launched an app and am looking to try out influencer marketing to promote it (TikTok specifically). We have been reaching out to content creators with emails in their bio but response…
How to find willing creators?!? — Hey guys, I just launched an app and am looking to try out influencer marketing to promote it (TikTok specifically). We have been reaching out to content creators with emails in their bio but response…
Any Luck with TikTok Influencer Marketing? And where do you find them? — Hey guys, I just launched an app and am looking to try out influencer marketing to promote it (TikTok specifically). We have been reaching out to content creators with emails in their bio but response…
This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…
Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…
I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…
Global Policy Journal: “Don’t look up?“ – Why it is past time for serious holistic research into Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena — Karin Austin, Michael Bohlander and Kimberly S. Engels have contributed an excellent article to the Global Policy Journal. Two of these people I've met personally and they are experiencers who are doi…
Studying attachment theory — I’ve been studying attachment theory for a couple of months now, and I’ve only recently started to REALLY look into it. I started reading a book called Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
Is casual sex compatible with secure attachment? — I feel like I have a solid grasp of attachment theory after reading a fair amount of the literature over the years, but there’s a philosophical question I can’t quite resolve. Can someone who is secu…
The pain of being unmet... — I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But where I fall apart easily is when I don't. I …
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…
I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …
Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…
Jupiter in Aquarius and the impersonal nature of this placement — This is one placement I genuinely struggle to fully understand. Jupiter, as a principle, feels conceptually misaligned with Aquarius and its traits. The expansive, benefic, growth oriented nature of J…
Dating as someone between cultures — Hi, just a thought I had with regards to non locals living in a different country: what has been your experience trying to date someone local? I personally have found it incredibly difficult as some…
“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth — Written by Alice Roosevelt about her father, Teddy. I feel like this quote perfectly captures the dynamics of having an nParent. Whenever sympathy, positive attention or adoration is being doled out …
A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil — A lot more people are traumatized/ in pain than are evil. And I won’t say that evil people simply don’t exist, they do, but there’s fewer truly evil people than there are hurt/traumatized people who d…
DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…
Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …
Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…
I don't connect with others anymore — Meditation taught me about awareness and of the things I feel i truly want and need in life. But in our materialistic and commercialized setting it seems the goal of everyone is to get more and more …
The day has come! — For more than 50 years, the Monroe Institute has been quietly pioneering a systematic way to explore human consciousness — beyond meditation, beyond belief, and beyond theory. I’m excited to share tha…
My [30F] husband [34M] may be a functioning alcoholic — Buckle in because this is a long post. Tl;dr my husband drinks and I am sick of it. (TW: mention of miscarriage) Throwaway account because I need advice and I am at my wits end. I have been with my h…
Therapist told me I was a narcissist during a session, completely shutdown. — Hi everyone. I have been actively looking for a psychiatrist or therapist to take me seriously when trying to pick through cPTSD, and autistic shutdown. The services in my province (Canadian) only of…
If there's no aspects between sun and midheaven does it mean an individual will have a hard time with career or that they are free to shape it? — Often times I hear astrologers say that if for example your sun is in conjuction with your midheaven you will have an easy way to climb the career ladder. Or any aspect such as sextile and trine, or e…
HOW TO MAKE CHARTS SO YOUR POSTS DON'T GET REMOVED — # MOST IMPORTANT PLEASE USE ONLY THESE SITES: * [Astro-Seek.com](https://Astro-Seek.com) * [Astro.com](https://Astro.com) Do not use these chart makers. All are either useless because they don’t pr…
Ever had an ex told you that they would never get back together with you? but eventually reached out after months of no contact? — Curiosly asking as my ex did the same and he was very firm and serious about it. I'm also curious if the phrase "they always come back is true" but just how true is this based on your individual exper…
We are all completely different and unique individuals, we all discover it according to our level and willingness of consciousness. >why can't i? \^ you can, everyone can, some may just need to work…
Read the rules and then post to the sub as an individual post, but read the rules clearly first please
OK try thinking of a common place you go to that's memorable and see if you get images If not then I suspect you may have [aphantasia](https://www.verywellmind.com/aphantasia-overview-4178710#:~:text…
Yeah, this is not true and not really good advice. In fact, it’s mental bullshit that feeds the ego of a person. People are bitter and want their ex to feel bad and regretful because it makes them fee…
What if I ruined the chance of possibly not getting back together due to me being an emotional abuser??For example, she broke up with me because of unhappiness, goal of finishing her college degree, a…
I love my ex but we were so toxic together and our breakup did wonders in showing me how horrible our relationship was and just how much work I have to do on myself. My hope is maybe… in the future we…
Where is there more information on “the lucky few” whom for each dream they have, lucid dreaming is all that they experience? Has there been any research done on individuals like these, or are there o…
1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…
Love these arguments. Point 1: There is a difference between hypnosis (true authentic feelings of experience of here and now of the desired outcome) and daydreaming. When you give your mind and your…
1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…
1. That doesnt disprove anything. It just means it may be more difficult. That's like saying mindfulness doesn't work because some people have ADHD. 2. Decent point but keep in mind some scientist …
Okay logic and science- so your RAS reticular activating system is basically the minds way of filtering and processing the insurmountable data that it takes in from the environment 24/7 as well as pro…
OP, I'm a much more casual member of this sub but wanted to say it's good you posted this here, even if you catch flak for it. Ultimately, the necessity to rebut your arguments will either require t…
For me a big part *is* (cause I’m still working on it)… not fearing losing myself in an attachment. Being able to establish clear boundaries early on, and keep to them even if I lose the other person…
I do understand and I can agree it’s not a behavior that can cultivate a long standing relationship with someone who is secure or anxious. But the same can be said about other attachments aswell (no…
I never said they tried, but who wants to find out that someone else emotional regulation depends on your constant presence. Again I’m talking about anxious attachment because secure people are secu…
I don't think there's a simple answer here, but my personal experience is that if I'm deactivating before having sex with someone, then it's probably just a lack of attraction/chemistry. If I deactiva…
I definitely have much less and less tolerance for dismissive avoidant individuals once I identified those traits in my mother, realized they’re a root of pretty much all my lifelong trauma, and start…
It’s unhealthy to project or “mind read”. I think there’s a bit of this going on in your post. It may feel (to you) they hate you, because rejection feels bad. It’s not a good feeling to an ego or o…
Thats odd, as an FA as well, my only relationship with an avoidant lasted like 2 days at best, I don’t even consider it a relationship either. I dumped her because she seemed so disinterested after we…
To answer: They will escalate negative behavior towards you if you’re not respecting their distance or wishes for disengagement. I once told an ex, “If you keep staying with me I will treat you worse …
I understand. Glad you are working through those feelings. I hope I did not come off judgemental. I definitely don't think that your feelings are irrational (I might agree with the inappropriate part …
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to [psychotherapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy) that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each pers…
When you shame them for becoming distant, or misconstrue that distance as them hating you. Being too emotionally overbearing, *without explanation*. Being narcissistic or abusive, which is a given. Re…
- criticism, being called out - playing on their individual insecurities, but that’s literally anyone in the world. A lot of the times is them getting discarded the same way they would do to someone …
As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…
Is anyone aware of any apps that help DA’s? Something that could be used in conjunction with in-person therapy? The couples type apps are too much pressure, so looking for something that can help avoi…
Sorry, the more correct term is fearful avoidant leaning avoidant, and DA and FA are their own categories. However, there are a number of variations among FAs, including whether we lean anxious or avo…
I’m delighted to hear that you not only achieved your personal goals but also returned to contribute to this community. In this industry, it’s common for individuals to focus solely on their own succe…
Congrats! Think the most important thing is to pinpoint the right content niche - high demand, but also from well-paid individuals so that advertisers are willing to work with you. Not easy. I had a g…
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to [psychotherapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy) that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each pers…
Thanks...we are marriage counseling, individual therapy...all the trimmings. I tried to gently bring up attachment science, and I think our MC knew where I was going. I led with something like, "I t…
So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…
The same can be said with anxiously attached and codependent individuals though? Some people cant handle boundaries and in turn label them as neglect or avoidance when in reality time is required to p…
i feel from my experience it is. avoidant are very selfish individuals.
I had gotten divorced a year prior to meeting him and that was what really triggered my wanting to change. My ex husband and I are still close friends but I really messed it up by being avoidant. We a…
Hurt people hurt people. Is it wrong? Yep, but they do. All we can do is try to be better individuals and keep strong boundaries that If we are disrespected we can walk away. I always try to remember…
Mostly because the information isn't necessarily what the person needs or may even be harmful or untrue. From all accounts people say it "tells them exactly what they need" and doesn't challenge them,…
I'm definitely not a philosopher by any means, but here are my thoughts. The article references previous research by Monroe & Malle (2009), where it's said that people's concept of free will consists …
you are very heavily generalizing here. how many avoidants have you actually known? they cannot control their triggers, the ones that will try and heal will work on the behaviour around dealing with t…
\> "anxious individuals have a lack of self control, don't respect boundaries, and and don't realize how much damage they do because they just don't care" That would be basically correct, that's why …
No I don’t and while I think you have some fair and good points, for some reason you’re very emotionally attached and aggravated by this.This is just a personal rant on some perceived grievance you ha…
Wait, what do you do for work? I have not looked at the regression rate. I’m a couples and individual therapist, so I work with many insecurely-attached clients. The core corrective experiences and e…
I agree with you. Until the individual who has a disregulated nervous system can work on themselves, free will is non existent. Their biology is in threat detection and survival mode which leads to sh…
This is called “hoovering”, it’s a known technique for toxic individuals. They’re saying whatever they think will suck you back in to the scenario. Note the expansive, emotive but oddly totally no…
Im amazed that you still didnt block her, lets be real here, attachment theories doesnt work in romantic relationships, if the person is into you they wont ignore you or disrespect you period. These a…
Not secure. Like others have mentioned, it's on her to express interest and reschedule. People, regardless of work or life, will often make little sacrifices to date the ones they want to date. Yo…
Like how insecure attachment have different intensity in their styles, securely attached are similar. Deepen your secure attachment style to be more stable. And someone with deeply rooted secure att…
People who are securely attached are often more than their attachment style because their behavior isn’t constantly filtered through anxiety or emotional defense mechanisms. They’re not performing saf…
I hear you. And appreciate what you're saying. Thing is, DA's have a bad habit of ignoring an expressed need from a partner or hearing it as "neediness" or clinginess. Expressing a need can be seen …