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Citations (101)
Grieving a divorce — I've never posted and I don't know who will read this, but I've been reading a lot of posts for people in similar situations and wanted to share my story. I recently divorced my wife of all of 8 mont…
Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means) — I last posted a variation of this a little over 5 years ago. We're a little overdue for a repost. --- You know how every Uber rating is right on the verge of 5 stars unless something's particularly …
Hello, I have just recently started with Joseph Murphy books, I have a question. — So I find it difficult to repeat certain affirmations while falling asleep, to keep repeating 'Subconscious Mind' feels off, just not comfortable for some reason, has anyone tried naming your subconsc…
Need Help with SEO for medium-sized e-commerce sites — I own a medium-sized e-commerce website, and we’ve never really focused on SEO. Yep, we've mainly relied on paid ads, but traffic is getting more expensive, so we’re ready to take SEO seriously now. I…
Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying? — Hey everyone, I’m at a bit of a crossroads and could really use your advice—even if it goes against what I’m currently thinking. Since I was 18 (I’m 20 now), I’ve been building websites just for fun…
Freelance in SEO or full-time remote job: Am I making a mistake by still applying? — Hey everyone, I’m at a bit of a crossroads and could really use your advice—even if it goes against what I’m currently thinking. Since I was 18 (I’m 20 now), I’ve been building websites just for fun…
SEO Basics Done But Not Ranking — I've been working on optimizing a page for a keyword with good search volume and low difficulty according to Keyword Planner, but it's nowhere in the top 100 results. I've done all the basics: * Met…
Unsecured Capital Raise "i will not promote" — Hello, first-time poster looking for creative fundraising recommendations. I’m working to open a recreation + F&B "eatertainment" facility inside a large leased space. I anticipate traditional invest…
How do you estimate full Shopify projects for clients? — For those who offer full Shopify site builds (themes, apps, checkout customizations…): What’s your typical process to estimate time and price? Do you follow a checklist, use a spreadsheet, or someth…
SEO vets - what actually works for ranking nowadays? — Hey, So I’ve been diving into SEO for a bit now — took a dozen free courses (Semrush, Hubspot), read some articles by people like Brian Dean, etc. Thought I was starting to get the hang of it. But a…
How do you inspect what actually changed in container images? (My Git-based approach) — Hey everyone, When working with CI images or debugging build issues, I often need to understand *exactly* what changed in a container layer - not just which files were added or removed, but what was …
Was pushed into a Devops role. Never got the chance to learn properly — I was pushed into a devops role. And since then there was always a deadline on head and was never able to learn things properly. I am still good at my job and can do what is required but somewhere fee…
[Product Survey] Help us understand your auth/DB platform choices (Supabase, Firebase, Auth0, Clerk, and more) — Hi everyone! 👋 I’m a Product Manager working with a developer friend on a new backend-as-a-service solution, and we’d love your feedback. Whether you’ve used Supabase, Firebase, Auth0, Clerk, Authn …
What’s one DevOps tool you tried but just didn’t click with? — I really wanted to love Terraform when I first picked it up. Everyone was hyping it up, and it *is* powerful—but I kept getting tripped up by state files and weird syntaxes. I probably broke my infra …
My clients says my store looks closed from the outside.. — I run a high-end furniture store and some of my clients said that the store looks closed from the outside. My store needs to look elegant so I can’t buy some cheap « open » neon-sign. Do you sugg…
Does anyone else go through phrases where they feel cynical about people easily? — I kinda feel like I’m in one of those now. I'm a DA. It usually happens if I feel like I’m trying to make plans with people, but they’re not responding or declining. Usually I’m okay with it, but when…
Do fearful avoidants "split" or "idealise" and then "devalue" when triggered? Or is it more likely to be a sign of something else? (Eg BPD/NPD?) — I am curious about whether "splitting" is something that is an FA behaviour or if it's a separate issue associated with other mental health disorders. As an FA, do you feel yourself "idealising" or p…
Have you ever mixed up attachment issues with something else? — For me it’s financial/practical security because of health problems and being poor even when I can work enough hours (still not enough money). What are your experiences and where do you draw the line …
Update: Self-help group for anxious attachment — Thank you to everyone who responded to my [**prior post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/1plm1g1/selfhelp_group_for_anxious_attachment/) re starting a self-help group. (Yes, The…
What to do when i am triggered around my partner? — When i get triggered i usually have a routine of pausing, taking deep breaths, positive affirmations, then switching my attention to something else. However when i am around my partner and i become …
Deactivation or undisclosed breakup? — I'm a FA woman...in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant....all was good, until past Christmas holidays , his bday and all situations when they deactivated.. he was the one who planned being wit…
I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…
I’m 20 and my mom still asks for my phone and laptop every night or there's consequences — I'm 20 (F) and turning 21 in a few months. My mom recently started asking me to surrender my laptop and phone again. "Again" because she did this to me as well when I was 13-18 years old. Before, she…
Life's expectancy for life & love — Unfortunately, I think for the rest of my time on this planet, I will carry a quiet fear. Even in the midst of real, full-blown love, I may never truly trust that one day I won’t be lied to, cheated o…
Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…
How do I stay focused and consistent despite feeling tired? — I have this really important exam in two months . It's extremely important to me and I want to clear it. However lately I've been feeling no urge to study. I'm always tired. I open up my books but my …
I was able to communicate with someone….. — I don’t know if this the correct sub… let me know I’ll explain my situation hoping some one can orient me : A few days ago, I had a weird dream/astral projection experience—I don’t even know how to …
DO NOT GIVE UP — DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I have so much to say. But ima try to keep it short ish. I just wanted to make a quick post about my journey. I’ve been “manifesting” for five years. I actually have not. Those f…
Effective ways to get lucid dreams 80% — A way that you might think is contrary to the ways on the internet, but this is actually the most effective way according to me, how? This is the way. The first way, this method often allows you to h…
Opened up to my wife about how I feel about our relationship and she just said "That's your problem" - am I crazy? — We're both in our mid 40s, been together for 20+ years and we have two kids who are both teenagers and I've been thinking about divorce for quite a while now as I feel like I just don't get anything b…
Getting married soon help me pls — We met in high school and I have spent my entire adult life loving her. I’ve (30m) moved across the country for her (28f) career 4 times, leaving all my friends and family behind. I’ve worked 60-70 ho…
Is meditation good for sharpening the mind — I'm not the best at articulating this stuff but I'll try my best, hopefully it's understandable. I have a problem where my mind is very chaotic, a lot of the stuff is happening at the same time in t…
They just want results immediately and don’t want the work it takes to get there — This is something I have noticed with my APs as of recently in that they want results and only good results immediately without the work to get there. Like they want me to have a nice physique yet ove…
I wanted to be recognized as an artist — (Non native English speaker, sorry for mistakes) I had 1 dream. Im an artist, i do art. Ok, this is ego talking, but anyway, art is all I do Since i’m a Little girl. I’ve been told I was good at it, …
I feel like I was cursed or hexed by someone. How can I get rid of this? — I suddenly feel off. I don't understand what is happening to me but I can't think about anything else other than my past mistakes in my life and insecurities and struggles and negative thoughts in my…
Life is going well but it gets boring… — I’m doing good. I work, go to the gym, and take about two days off during the week. But I’ve noticed that after 4–5 days of being consistent, my mind starts to feel really tired. I feel like I need so…
Reiki or something else?
I (34F) found out my ex-husband (40M) cheated on me again, after we were supposed to be working things out. — I found out, from the person he's been cheating on me with, that it happened over a year ago and has been happening since. Of course i flipped out and went ballistic! He claims she was psycho and wa…
Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…
House of Danube/Deneb & The Tuatha Dé Danaan — I have just had an unexpected and seasonally apropos experience with St. Patrick's day right around the corner. Meditating in a hypnopompic state yesterday morning I heard a man's voice speaking to m…
Anyone else have a parent with an undiagnosed mental illness? — Growing up my mom was always physically there but never emotionally present. She has never been able to admit to things she considers embarrassing (even if they're really not), being wrong or When I …
Something from The Four Agreements finally clicked for me today — I was reading the second agreement from The Four Agreements this morning, “don’t take anything personally” and something landed in a way it never has before. I realized how many stories I tell myself…
Why do I overthink/overanalyze so much? — I’m a highly anxious person but have most of it under somewhat control after years of inner work and therapy and spirituality, but even on this other side of it, I am still quite the overthinker, over…
My (23M) girlfriend (26F) desires less sex and has slowly stopped initiating. When are things deemed as sexual incompatibility? — My (23M) girlfriend (26F) has, over the course of our 3 year long relationship, wanted less sex. At the start of our relationship, we were going at it like crazy. Daily, if not twice a day. Over time …
Is this lucid dreaming or is it SP? — Put this in a few subs cause I’m starting to get curious about what’s going on with me. About six years ago, I experienced something unusual while lying in bed fully conscious but with my eyes closed…
1 month to go for Bicycle Day, the date when Albert Hofmann tripped on LSD after discovering it by accident, or was it...? — The world of psychedelics has a lot of unsolved mysteries to find out, one of them is an ongoing discussion on whether Albert Hofmann discovered LSD by mistake, or if it was logically discovered by wh…
Energetic Absorption or Something Else? Looking for Insight. — Hi all, I’m looking for some perspective from others who are energetically sensitive. I recently went into my aunt’s home after she passed. She had significant hip and back pain for a long time. Whil…
Thoughts on Wittgenstein? — Hi. Already posted something else recently. Don’t mean to bog the sub down with my own posts. I’ve been really interested in Wittgenstein as of late and was just curious what the folks here thought …
I am ruining my life and I feel like i cant stop it — Hello everyone and let me say thank you for taking the time to read and/or respond. Our time is valuable and I want you to know thst I genuinely appreciate you giving your time to a stranger... This …
Feeling completely lost about my career, what does my chart actually suggest I’d be good at? — I’m feeling completely lost about my career and I don’t know what to do next.. Money is important to me (although a career in itself not so much being honest, I would actually love to be a stay at hom…
Speaking out about my experience. The Shadow behind the Light? — Hello, I have felt compelled to speak about my experiences more. As my perspective is unfortunately a lesser narrative in our space. I have time and time again read but and pieces here and there that …
Alright, so, why do some need to work more than others? Is it something to do with DNA or something else?
yes you can simply train your body to go back to sleep for another time around 6:05 ,and you will notice that you are still tired , then lay down and look up ,soon it will get to a point where you can…
I was neglected from birth till, well, now, and have CPTSD for 28479227392 reasons related to my parents and to other experiences. I don't think focusing on blame is useful. I can't blame my one paren…
I want to Ap but as a kid I watched a lot of sci fi demonic movies and my mom would study Wiccan culture so I’m like ehhhhh what’s going to happen to me will I get stuck there will something else tak…
What does that look like??? Find a new hobby. Anything. Try learning to knit. Learn to build robots. Take a class in 17th century blacksmithing. Join a woodworkers guild. Join an improve troupe. Volu…
Yes, but since you can subconconciously know something and consciously think something else we see that your non lob thoughts doesn't matter.. See the post "concious thoughts don't matter" and it's su…
It literally is, look at that essay you wrote. You’re overcomplicating things and applying 3D thinking to something that really has little to do with the 3D. The 3D is merely the result of all of this…
Good thinking. Usually on internet archive or something else search up using terms like "power of the subconscious mind Joseph Murphy internet archive pdf" you can also look up the specific search on …
Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…
Wow, that’s… I mean, that’s seriously sociopathic behaviour. I can’t even imagine how you felt. It’s such a mindfuck. I hope you kicked him out and never looked back. What a toxic piece of bovine excr…
I wondered about that myself. I don’t have experience with it, but after the breakup started researching, and concluded that he’s very avoidant, very afraid of any type of confrontation, something bet…
If you fail every time but never learn anything to take you to the next step then yes, you should be doing something else.
Umm.. I think your % is off and there are way more lurkers here and some real people out there. I thought about doing posts, a podcast, or a book as an entrepreneur about how hard it was for years ru…
It's absolutely true that the outcome is you getting hurt. I just don't think you understand how terrifying it actually is. If you were that scared, you'd do the same. It is a survival instinct. Idk.…
I’m not a DA, but I have dated several and I also have a long term relationship with a securely attached introverted person. When my DA exes wanted space, they didn’t just physically distance themse…
Yea I get that, my point was that "self identifying as" only gets you so far. There's how we view and perceive ourselves, vs. how the outside world views and perceives us - and then there are objectiv…
This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…
I think you have to re assess what attraction means to you. Did you find her attractive when you first met her? If yes then it means you find her attractive. Did it start to feel like you weren’t attr…
Why would an avoidant push me away, but then orbit me for almost 2 years — even while committed to someone else? I feel ashamed for being stuck on this.. I (32F) had a short but intense connection wi…
I would chat GPT my feelings and responses. Sometimes having clarity as to what is actually happening and getting some constructive answers helps me calm my brain and eventually all the noise in my he…
Hey. There's a lot there. It sounds like you just want more connection with your partner and also to know that they aren't going away. If the digital self harm is making you feel worse, perhaps try no…
So I’ve been talking with a guy for just over a week now. And we have at least talked a little every day. Not a lot but a little. He lives around 2+ hours from me and we met online. So texting and on…
It’s possible that this is a compatibility problem. But you are also personalizing his extroversion as if it has something to do with you. Like you are not good enough and that is why he gives other p…
Not OP, but, as an FA, I would say that if pride or anger is an issue, it's probably actually fear and insecurity. When we're afraid and insecure, we go into fight or flight mode. When the mode is fig…
I had to read your post about this same topic in another sub to get more context, so that way I could provide more specific advice. A lot about what you are dealing with is perspective and the narr…
I’m not sure if I have any helpful advice, but I also have OCD and that plus attachment trauma sucks soooooo bad. I really feel for you (and me). I have more of a hard time getting myself to date th…
Delete their number and block them on everything. It's like a self-imposed boundary to keep you in check. You reached out to salve your anxiety, but that decision has only led to feelings of shame.…
This is difficult to parse. But you were probably overthinking it. Find something else to keep your mind engaged. Friends, family, a hobby. Trust in your relationship. Worst case scenario is it doesn’…
When I find myself caught in an anxious spiral, these are the things I've found that help me most: 1) Get moving - I pop in my earbuds, turn on a true crime podcast to engage my brain, put the leash …
Something will happen first. Like a disagreement or a fight. I think he might be taking that much space because he's not in the mood to risk starting something else. I can't be sure 100% because we ne…
>I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. To be clear, what I said before was that it *is* a freeze response, just that it's n…
Do you feel that the criticisms you have of them when wanting to devalue on reflection are genuine and truly how you feel? Or is it an exaggeration or even projection of something else?
Also, my ex would do similar things like you described. If I voiced I was concerned I had BPD and shared “why,” he would be supportive in the moment but the second there was conflict he would weaponiz…
The first thing that comes to mind for me is DBT skills, specifically opposite action in the context of understanding the DBT model of emotions. Opposite action is a skill where you say to yourself "…
Thank you. I think I understood what you said. I also do need to work on not acting out on impulses. My thoughts keep pushing me to act on them immediately and I can only calm down after that. Even …
Text of original post by u/Longjumping_Choice_6: For me it’s financial/practical security because of health problems and being poor even when I can work enough hours (still not enough money). What are…
Hey I've been facing some issues in my relationship. Need advice on how to fix everything. My partner very recently expressed her concern for my health and that i should really avoid drinking at all.…
I've been through something very similar. Ultimately, you and this person have broken up multiple times. The two of you have talked about boundaries, problematic patterns, etc. Suddenly dropping o…
Am I (26M) being triggered by my anxious attachment with this guy I'm seeing (25M)? Hi everyone, I (26M) am struggling to separate reality from past trauma (a toxic avoidant ex) and need a rational a…
What would you say "leaning into therapy" would look like? My current focus is on developing positive counter-narratives and pairing them with emotional regulation skills. Any time I catch myself fee…
I am navigating a post-breakup friendship. I really thought long and hard about keeping this person in my life because yeah I know myself and the last thing I wanted was to spiral into an insecure dyn…
Text of original post by u/TheOceanTheSun: Thank you to everyone who responded to my [**prior post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/1plm1g1/selfhelp_group_for_anxious_attachment/…
Genuine question, can you actually pinpoint why you're feeling that way and where it originally came from? A lot of our attachment issues are largely independent from our partners, even though they c…
I've gotta ask: Is it normal for someone with an advoident attachment style to have an issue with taking accountability and placing the blame onto others for their mistakes? I knew this woman for 9 ye…
Text of original post by u/Local-Focus-4252: When i get triggered i usually have a routine of pausing, taking deep breaths, positive affirmations, then switching my attention to something else. Howe…
True. What I meant is that an insecure attachment can seek casuals sex as a substitute for deeper connection, or see casual sex as a way to deepen a bond, but a securely attached person will choose it…
Mine is triggered in phases. Overall avoidance is just deactivation. It feels like a complete disinterest, boredom, I am greatly distracted by other things. Avoidance with my SO will feel like guilt…
I wonder if he’s got something else going on, like a cluster B disorder, and he doesnt want a real relationship and rather prefers the idealized version. Some people know they can't handle reality a…
Problem is, you're going to get attached if he's a good conversationalist, and you probably already are. And it will be more hurtful and confusing later, if you've let this drag longer and longer. …
As a fearful avoidant disorganized (yeah I am pretty messed up apparently)...I only start to really avoid when I am sad or upset about something else and I need to process....or I just need to process…