book
be consistent
Evidence
Citations (73)
I ignored my self-critic for a full week and boy was it exhausting — A week ago I decided that since behavioural activation therapy, CBT, other therapies, and trying to find ways to be productive or find meaning with others or by myself, and even low pressure advice we…
Why are WhatsApp IOS app icons so inconsistent? — I was trying to change my profile picture on WhatsApp when I noticed the icons were inconsistent. 1. The avatar icon looks smaller than others. 2. Camera icon has thin stroke. 3. Choose Photo icon …
Different Businesses Need Different Content Formats – Here's Why (i will not promote) — Hey everyone! One thing I see often overlooked is the fact that **not all businesses need the same type of content formats**. Depending on your target audience and the type of business you run, the …
I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…
I want to to start healing so badly, how can I? — I recently posted here my journey of realizing I have a fearful avoidant attachment. I used to think I was anxious but I realize I'm fearful avoidant and I don't want this anymore. I want to stop push…
How can I become more consistent in my relationships? — I recently learnt I'm fearful avoidant and I've been in therapy for 3 years so I know how I stopped being inconsistent in many areas of my life I used to be – I learnt to be consistent with studying b…
How can I become more consistent in my relationships? — I recently learnt I'm fearful avoidant and I've been in therapy for 3 years so I know how I stopped being inconsistent in many areas of my life I used to be – I learnt to be consistent with studying b…
I tracked my dreams every day for 6 months. Here's what actually worked and what was a total waste of time. — So I've been into lucid dreaming for a while now and decided to actually get serious about it. For the last 6 months I tracked everything. Techniques, sleep times, supplements, all of it. Figured I'd …
I was in Barbados… Well actually it was Turks and Caicos but close enough! — I was in Barbados… Well actually it was Turks and Caicos but close enough I just came back from a 4 week long vacation in Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean. This was the 10th year in a row I have don…
Is there something in my chart that explains attracting obsession that turns into betrayal — Hi everyone!!! ❤️ I’ve been noticing a recurring pattern in my relationships and wanted to ask if my chart might show anything about how I approach or experience them. A lot of my friendships start v…
I realized most people don’t glow up because of this… — I’ve been thinking a lot about why people struggle with self-improvement. It’s not that we don’t know what to do. We all know the basics: \- drink water \- workout \- fix skincare \- be c…
Avoiding Your Real Work Is Costing You More Than You Think — # Avoiding Your Real Work: The Hidden Cost of Staying Busy Without Progress ***“I’ve been noticing this pattern in myself lately and wanted to share it here because I’m curious if others deal with th…
Something I genuinely need help with — (My first time posting here) Hello! I'm a beginner shifter who started shifting on March 8th of 2026. I've tried to be consistent and have a lot of symptoms like the spinning symptom, twitching, fee…
Greet my ex (M23) on his birthday. — Almost a year since we broke up on good terms. Our last conversation was around December, he congratulated me for graduating and talked for a while. It was chill, friendly vibe and thats it. He didn’t…
I (22F) broke up with my ex (23M) after he cheated and said he was never “excited” about me… but I still believe he loved me and that’s what’s messing me up — I (22F) broke up with my ex (23M) two months ago, and I feel like I’m stuck between two completely different truths that I can’t reconcile. For context, we’re both medical students and were flatmates…
Need cheap couple therapist in India. — Hey so, I'm manan, I've been searching for a cheap couple therapist everywhere but couldn't find one. Couple therapies are mostly expensive. I am a student figuring out life that's why I can't afford …
Manifestation partner — Hi, just to try it out. I was wondering if there's anyone interested on partnering up to be consistent with manifesting and like self concepts just for fun nothing too serious just to share succes…
Struggling — Hi guys just really wanted to vent off and just need some kind words. I recently broke up with my partner, originally I was the dumper. The reason for me dumping him was his lack of support and just g…
How to create a good evening routine? — I have a demanding job and I reach home by 7 pm and leave in the morning by 8 am. After work, I am always super battered to do anything. I eat quick fast food and scroll reels. I don’t have any energy…
Just sucks any way you spin it — Was in a 4 year relationship that I felt was going pretty well. Over the last year she started to have some issues in the relationship. My ADHD has caused some lack of follow through and changing thin…
Did I make the right choice ending things with my situationship? — I'm writing this post an ultimatum to myself that I won't think about this anymore. I (24 M) found myself falling in love with a (23F) and ended up having a situationship with her which I ended recent…
Music for Recovery — Hi everyone - I stopped drinking in 2022 and was a catastrophic alcoholic when I was drinking, while also dealing with several ongoing mental health crises. I had dealt with severe depression, which l…
i (21f) kept self harm from my partner (19f) and now she doesn't trust me, how can i make things okay? — trigger warning for self harm. about a week ago (or longer, i don't remember) i relapsed with self harm (something both my partner and i have struggled with) and told her about it right after it happ…
So then you have to ask yourself why are you drawn to avoidant women? You are framing this like they're drawn to you - but should be considering why you're drawn to them. You're saying it's because …
Research for the knowledge first off, then be consistent with how you show up for her and showing interest over a longer period of time. Many of us with this fear weren’t allow to be ourselves growing…
I'm an FA and I agree with my friend here. You kind of can't. It would be a little codependent of you to try to navigate it for her. All you can do is be consistent in your behavior according to your …
The last FA I dated shit tested me early on, dumping some not so flattering info about herself just to see how I would react. I'm not an FA but I've dated quite a few of them. Fear of abandonment is …
Be consistent and align your words with actions. This helps an FA trust. But first and foremost take care of YOU and be prepared for her to act out and test you a bit … you have to look out for yourse…
be consistent in your behavior
I don't resent any of my exes. When exes would reach out to me I was pretty aloof/indifferent towards them. Which is typical avoidant behavior strategies. Usually the one's that have resentment toward…
Thank you, this does appear to be consistent with ROCD symptoms, though more specific to the dating side of it (ongoing relationship ROCD is less relevant for me). I'll also check that subreddit as we…
After my Bipolar ex broke up with me, I can’t stop worrying about her. She broke up with me a month ago. Everything was seeming wonderful, and on top of the world. We were going to get married. I bou…
POSM has tons of techniques. Every technique in there has worked for some people - if not JM would not have put it in his book. Yet they are very varied. The reason for this, is to motivate you to try…
She sounds like an avoidant/dismissive. Avoidants often crave attention and admiration, but when it starts to feel "real" to them, they become afraid and pull away, often becoming cold or even cruel. …
It sounds like you may be abandoning yourself somehow and that is why you are getting anxious and worried about him leaving. People make mistakes. How others handle such things is important info to …
Seems like you spent the better part of a year not actually seeing each other. This behavior may very well be consistent with him seeing other people and not being straightforward about it. You didn…
Huh? If you're interested in someone then dates should be consistent. If you dont have the time, then you're dating way too many people
Relatable. I stated on my OLD profile that I still mask up and that I'll know I'll align with a match if they also do and at least do not make fun of me (this simple statement already weeded out so m…
I think it's really significant and helpful that you can notice and tolerate your desire to be able to connect more and be consistent. Finding ways to titrate towards this desire (to take small steps …
Jenny? Oh she does wetwork for the CIA. Makes it super hard to be consistent.
I get what you’re saying. You know, learning to be consistent in solo routines is one thing, but relationships are tricky because they involve someone else’s needs, which can feel unpredictable or eve…
For me, the key has been not to try to "fix." The urges you have aren't the enemy, they're your system trying to protect you, and going to war against them or judging them will often result in entrenc…
Hey! Ill give you some advice: Disclaimer im not super great at this. But im a guy 31M so same age range and I get about 6 or so matches a week. Im waiting on my car and on mobile so the formatting …
Hey thanks for the extensive advice. I really appreciate it. You hit a lot of good spots, and are clearly pretty smart. Although it would make me feel a lot better about myself, I doubt it is bugged b…
Brain tumors aren't that clever. He wouldn't be consistently successfully deleting every single message before he gets home, while never "remembering" or noticing them in the meantime. The only possi…
We met last year, he was super patient with me and met all my crazy demands for an ongoing sexual relationship. Last year we actually talked more than we actually had sex, it was weird. There were som…
Yeah. I know. Wouldn't be asking for a chance if I knew I couldn't be consistent.
Poor boundaries, financial instability, emotional instability (you can be in hard times and still be consistent and emotionally regulated ask me how I know), he’s venting to you about your own child s…
From what I see, it's majority retirees at here on the East Coast. It's not just Asians of course, majority in a white country is whites at casinos and that's what I see and hear both online and live.…
Go through the domain of the subconscious mind, calm the body, meditate, breathe deeply, and then begin the commands. Go gently, be consistent, and believe in the process. A quick story... For thre…
There's no philosophy of contentment that relies on "getting the stuff you want". Stoicism specifically talks about wanting the stuff that nobody can take away from you. If your happiness depends on…
Doesn’t matter. Just pick a couple and be consistent and persist. You can say hers to a Tee and still not get what you want because of wavering or doubting. It’s about mindset, not magic words
So invalidating my god. He took up the space in the conversation but refused to give you the space to hear you out. Sounds alot like my partner too. Like a toddler throwing tantrums, and I have to reg…
I think it's not like about avoiding , it's just about recognising the patterns and not projecting our fantasy on the other person. If someone is giving mixed signals, I either talk to them about it d…
If you have been able to discuss hard topics and he has changed his mind in the past you MIGHT have the ability to have the deconstruction convo you want. I'd suggest a mediation type person for those…
Find an outlet. Get on #gymtok or something and just focus on yourself for 18 months. Don't burn out. Just slow and steady and be consistent. Social life and friends will follow. Lots of Asian men to …
I know what you mean! I’ve started realizing I set goals on my high energy days and that means I fail on my low energy days. So I started trying low energy goals I can do any day but do more if I fee…
this mindset is exactly why, btw. you have to persist in changing your thoughts not spam a bunch of techniques on your brain and expect them to do the job for you. YOU have to put in the work and chan…
The dog needs to be trained, but you can’t do it, because it is not your dog and 2/3 of the people in the home won’t be consistent. Also, “corrections” are generally not the way to go. The dog has to …
It's not a dream like state. It's when you're in that in-between state right before sleep. You did say you were trying to sleep in your other comment and that's when it happens. I have gotten them eve…
Take your vitamin D! Be consistent. At least every other day. I swear by it
I hear you. It wasn't as helpful to me as a teen or whatever either, at least in the same way as it is now. I am 31 and picked up the practice 1 year and 2 months ago. I usually do it at least 5-7 tim…
yeah haha i know i think this relationship didn’t allow me to be consistent with those things as she was very needy and it was extremely draining too. i know in the long run this’ll be all worth it an…
you dream, you just don't always remember them. Are you trying to dream lucid or are you just trying dream? Your post is a little iffy on this. if you are trying lucidity, reality checks is the way to…
Do a routine that works for you. The key is to be consistent and do it everyday. Yeah, the longer, the more ideal. But consistency is most important and doing 10 min everyday will naturally become eas…
You might be able to find some experiences here on Reddit. I didn’t come across it elsewhere in my learning. Unfortunately that statement is coming from personal experience. I stopped speaking to my…
A few weeks is not long enough to create lasting change. It needs to be consistent over time and for yourself not to win someone back...
Doesn’t matter. Just try some and be consistent. The universe doesn’t care about words, just the implication and meaning to YOU personally
Don’t try to convince someone that doesn’t feel a connection with you. Sometimes things don’t won out. You just didn’t fill her cup in the way she wants. You want to be with someone who is stoked abou…
You're like a parent who's trained their child to throw tantrums because anytime they do it, you'll comply. I'm not suggesting you should stay with her, because she really sounds unhinged, but at the…
I am not an influencer but if I run social media ads for small businesses as a side hustle so I know a little bit about the space. if you do decide to get started, the hardest part will be consistency…
The belief that you’re behind will hold you back. There is no behind. There is no path. There will never come a day when you feel like you’ve caught up, because there will always be something more to …
the galantamine causing LESS recall is actually super informative. that's not typical. usually galantamine increases both vividness and recall. the fact that it's having the opposite effect suggests y…