boyfriend

So back in 2021, my SP was abroad for 1 year and it was then that I started catching feelings for him. SUCKS!! I believe he was in love with someone else too. Plus, he and I barely interacted. I got …

I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…

What makes an anxious attached person feel loved? — I’m a dismissive avoidant in recovery. That means I have been working on myself. I would consider myself slightly secure but not secure enough to call myself secure Anyway, my boyfriend is anxious…

Help me understand-anxious now ex bf + part avoidant ex gf — My anxious ex and I met in ‘22. Online I was a full dismissive avoidant I began to work on myself in October’23. Since October ‘23,I have been a dismissive avoidant in recovery Recently,I have …

Triggered over broken promises — Got heavily triggered over a little promise made by my boyfriend. I asked him in the morning to send me a message once hes back home but he did not, and instead i find him gaming for hours. I feel …

Does this have to do with my attachment style or is it normal? — I used to score as anxiously attached when I was in my last relationship. I feel like I still have some anxious tendencies in my relationship now but I also sometimes feel avoidant and for the most pa…

What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…

FA breakup & prolonged limbo - does avoidance calcify over time or can it still reverse? — I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar, FAs, or anyone who has opinions on this. I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I later realized is fearful avoidant (I didn…

Feeling conflicted, I don't know if I don't love him and I am settling or if I love him and the "cons" are avoidant deactivation? — I 33F have ve been dating this guy 32M for 8 months. He's chased me for years and eventually recently I started to feel attraction back, he figured it out and kissed me. For some months I didn't feel…

Bf of 14 months hasn’t said I love you — My bf (35M) and I (33F) met December 2024 on a dating app and became exclusive immediately after our first date. On our first few dates he asked what I was looking for and I said I was looking for som…

Should I meet up with my ex? — Back in November 2024, I went on a couple of dates with a guy from my friend group, “Frank” (41M now). Looking back, it’s obvious to me that he was a rebound, but I genuinely didn’t realize it at the …

The way trauma shapes your attachment system... — I'm FA and I was reminiscing on what my love life was like as a teenager and young adult. I remember the feeling I had when someone showed interest in me, it was very much of disgust and suspicion. …

Is "good on paper" a thing for guys our age? — I can't help but feeling like I'm good on paper and that's why my boyfriend is with me. I'm conventionally attractive, I make really good money, I take care of myself (and him) and my things, I'm kin…

Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…

Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition? — I have been dating my current partner for about a year now. Long post incoming. I’m posting because I’m noticing a significant avoidant shift in myself and I need perspective specifically on my own at…

Is there a way to manifest myself to STOP being attracted to someone? — I’m curious if anyone here has used manifestation or LOA techniques to intentionally lose attraction or romantic interest in someone. There’s a guy in one of my classes that I find really attractive.…

my(F28) bf(M30) thinks themed bridal shower of my friend is stupid and my costume is stupid. — I (F28) am a teacher and my boyfriend(M30) works for a company. we have been together for 4 years and are highly compatible. He has always been reserved and quiet and introvert by nature. i'm more of …

Is matchmaking before marriage really important? — So my boyfriend and i decided to improve our relationship status aka get married. But our matchmaking point is only 13. Is it really important? Or i am just overthinking? Is there anyone who got marr…

Feeling alone because my partner lives in his own Fantasy World — Recently I discovered I am a Codependent. I've been with my boyfriend for about six years, and he has this habit of always engaging and interacting by talking a lot about marvel or superpower fantas…

Mom is being kicked out — Parentified eldest daughter here. haven’t spoken to my recovering alcoholic mother in years. Doing so always sends me into a spiral. She puts herself in awful, high-risk situations, never chooses her …

I’m 20 and my mom still asks for my phone and laptop every night or there's consequences — I'm 20 (F) and turning 21 in a few months. My mom recently started asking me to surrender my laptop and phone again. "Again" because she did this to me as well when I was 13-18 years old. Before, she…

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

My (28f) boyfriend (37m) drinks to excess nearly every weekend, am I selfish for wanting it to stop? — Throwaway account. Please tell me if I am crazy for feeling this way. My boyfriend (37m) and I (28f) have what I consider to be a generally good relationship. We’ve had some issues in the past that we…

Ex going on dates and hooking up — Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and he’s already going on dates and hooking up with them? I’ve been with him for 3 years and as soon as we broke up he was on the apps going on dates again…

I (28F) gave my boyfriend (29M) an STD and I can’t stop feeling so ashamed and guilty — My boyfriend and I met on tinder a couple of months ago and everything has been so great. We get along wonderfully and we have such a good time together. I was sexually active with a couple of people …

Ran into my ex today with her new boyfriend and it hit me harder than expected — Earlier today I bumped into my ex in the city, walking hand in hand with a guy. The moment she saw me, she immediately let go of his hand, looked down at her phone, and sort of moved behind him while …

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F27) have not said i love you, over a year of dating — TLDR; My boyfriend (M35) and I (f27) have been together for over a year, he hasn’t said I love you despite having talked about marriage, kids, future together. In a conversation he said he was apprehe…

19 F how do i be less codependent and seeking of external validation — I am not a very busy person as I am still seeking work and not yet able to go to uni so I spend a lot of time by myself or with my friends or boyfriend. im not sure if im codependent towards my partn…

I (F18) am jealous of my boyfriend (M18) for the gpt chat — I know it sounds strange, but I can’t do it anymore. At first my boyfriend started using chat for normal things, such as workout plans, food advice etc. at some point, he started sharing his appearanc…

What’s the healthy way for us (46F, 46M) to resolve conflicts that my boyfriend has? — Tl;dr: what’s the healthy way for us to resolve conflicts? \*\*Background:\*\* I (46F) have been dating my boyfriend (46M) for about 6 months. Neither of us has been married or has kids, and neither …

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

Update: How can I(20F) tell my boyfriend (20M) about my sexual preferences when he has already expressed disgust over it? — Alright, so even though no one asked for it I’m back with an update. First of all, thank you to everyone that commented, I swear on everything that I read each and every single comment. Thank you for…

My (28F) boyfriend (26M) has recently got back into religion and it’s affecting our relationship. — I’ve listened/watched so many Reddit podcasts, but this the first time posting. This a weird situation and I have no one to talk to about this, I’m left feeling quite numb about everything. My boyfri…

Nmom wants an invite to my wedding or she is going to divorce my dad — TLDR; Nmom wants an invite to my wedding. I don’t plan on it as she doesn’t support or respect my decision, and only wants to go because my dad plans on attending and she doesn’t want to have to put m…

Manifested work and a promotion — I've been a silent lurker here for a while, and for some reason I couldn't manifest small things like idk, seeing a pink elephant. I felt like I was trying so hard, forcing myself to see that pink ele…

How to permanently stop feeling romantic love for anyone? — wasn’t sure I needed a TL;DR here, but I’ll put it anyway: how do I turn off my ability to feel love for anyone, ever? hi all, I (M,33) have not had a whole lot of luck with dating. I try to stay s…

I (21F) Am losing feelings for my (22M) boyfriend. Any advice? — Throwaway account. I (21F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for a little over two years. It's been good for the most part, and i can tell you that my boyfriend is one of the best people i kno…

My (19f) boyfriend (19m) keeps telling me I’m at high risk of diabetes. How do I address this? — I am a 19 year old woman. I am 5 foot 9 inches tall (177cm), my body weight is 67kg, my BMI is 21.4, body fat percentage is 15.8%, and body fat mass 10.6kg. I go to the gym 5 days a week and perform c…

I think I’m falling out of love with my boyfriend — I’m 21 F and my boyfriend is 23 M, we’ve been together for three and a half years. Hoping to get some advice, but I know it’s a really complicated situation, I just don’t know how to wrap my head arou…

My 22F boyfriend 22M is scaring me — He mutters things to himself. He pulls faces because he has intrusive thoughts. He mutters “fuck off” under his breath because he says he’s responding to intrusive thoughts and he’s not telling me wha…

Why am I so insecure now that i'm skinny? — I, 23F, lost over 100 pounds over the last couple of years. When I was 16, I was put on steroids for my eczema and birth control (nexplanon) on the same day. I gained weight rapidly. My boyfriend at t…

How do I tell my boyfriend he is wasting my time? — I, 21F have been dating my boyfriend, 24M for almost 3 years now. Recently more than ever it seems as though he never wants to do things I want to do... like, not even consider it. We always end up pl…

Advice on how to deal with parent giving ultimatum over my relationship — I'm a 28 year old gay Asian male currently living in an East Asian country for my job, away from my home country and my parents. All my life, I had a great and loving relationship with my parents. I w…

I hate my best friends boyfriend and I feel miserable — This is a small rant, but I just need to write it out to a bunch of strangers. Basically, my friend (21F) met her boyfriend (26M) a few months ago. They seemed to click almost instantly, which isn’t a…

My boyfriend (31M) is upset I prioritize money and don’t want kids, even though I (24F) told him this from the start — I (24F, in university) have been dating my boyfriend (31M) for 3 years. We both still live separately with our parents. From the very beginning, I was **extremely upfront** about my priorities: I do…

I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …

Idealization vs Devaluation: how it looked like for me — Tldr: Just read the Idealization and devaluation parts.  ## Idealization * You're a king! * You sexy tiger, handsome god of a man * You're the best!  * Gives gifts early on in the relationship * On…

I (26F) told my boyfriend (26M) I sometimes miss the freedom of being single and he broke up with me on my birthday — I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about 2.5 years. A couple nights ago we were lying down together and having a really open conversation about different things going on in our lives. The …

Is it actually possible to re-wire the brain and actually stop sexualising… everything? — I posted here a few times, I'm currently at 107 days of sobriety. I don't watch p0rn, don't masturbate, don't go cruising. The only times I've done something sexual were with my ex, as we are still cl…

I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…

I totally agree that there is a general trend to project personal issues and give drastic advice, especially since... well, it's not your life. I particularly notice it when it comes to fear of a par…

I've seen the opposite. I've seen people encourage illegal acts. It was a recent post about a PS5. The girlfriend bought their boyfriend a PS5 for his birthday and like a week later he said he wants …

I can lucid dream and I do sleep paralysis which can be very scary. Being thrown against walls etc. always a dark swirling cloud and a deep vibrational mode.. I just took it as ptsd as stated. Until…

I totally relate to the awful feelings of seeing an avoidant ex move on super quickly while you are still reeling from the triggering and retraumatization of that relationship. Going through it right …

I'm so sorry, this sounds so hard. If you can, I think it would be amazing to focus on yourself right now and what you need. My long distance boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after one disagreement…

We were always hanging out it just wasn’t in person. We kept in contact so much and stole little phone calls whenever we could. I actually think we spent more time connected than I did with any boyfri…

I've been in this exact situation when I was an FA in a LDR with another FA in another country. And our f2f time was very little like yours but we spoke daily, intensely and talked and had plans. I kn…

This is interesting. A DA I was with didn't want to commit or name the relationship but seemed shocked that I started dating someone else. He was too busy chasing an ex that he refused to believe was …

Yes. I’m a lot better than I used to be. I had a secure boyfriend, and he has grounded me so much. I actually think I’m like 50% changed since five years ago. Still a long ways to go. He’s on the si…

I’m not a DA, but I have dated several and I also have a long term relationship with a securely attached introverted person. When my DA exes wanted space, they didn’t just physically distance themse…

My first question is, are you really satisfied with the fact you’ve been dating her for 6 months and still aren’t her official boyfriend? And now she wants time apart? This is playing right into the a…

Having children is important to me and that’s not going to change because the other person is not interested in having children. If the other person is opposed to having children, then forming a roman…

My boyfriend is an introverted DA. It seems like one outing per 2 week period is about what he can handle without feeling like it’s too much. Also, having people over creates stress so, same ratio. I …

He does, but we don't go at it the same way or look at the same things. Like he has not read those books yet and he might eventualy, but he dosen't want me to bring it up, he wants to choose to do it.…

You mentioned all of your other relationships were with avoidants and he is anxious attachment. Have you considered that being with someone anxious, who moves towards you when nervous, has encouraged …

OP, is your boyfriend aware that he has DA?

I gotcha. I asked because I was just curious. Your boyfriend sounds a lot like how I used to be. I never realized I had DA until a couple years ago. Most of what I attributed to depression and anxie…

I think it depends on what you want. If your boyfriend is FA and he doesn't know how to regulate his feelings then the exact thing that he would do is breakup/ghost you when he started to become emot…

The avoidant(not sure which type of avoidant) I was dating of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago through text. We had our flaws of course and there were times where she felt unwanted or unseen (I ta…

Hi! I haven't gone specifically through it but I know the feeling. Have you mentioned that you want to feel heard rather than him giving you solutions? If you are in a healthy relationship he should a…

I’ve read all that stuff. I used to be heavily into attachment theory because of my ex. She claimed to be “FA” but its all lies. She just wasnt that into me. Once she got her new boyfriend, she had no…

Where are you getting cheating from? In ‘23, I made the mistake of not saying to my aquaintence/fling that I had a boyfriend until much later. this year, a guy I sent a risqué pic to reached out t…

>I came off way too intense, begging him to atleast give me a closure instead of the silent treatment, and I am ashamed to admit this but I tried to prove my worth and how I'm ready to accept everythi…

’m in a really difficult spot with my boyfriend. We’ve been together since late 2021, and recently he’s been second-guessing our relationship. I think im anxious and he’s avoidant. I’m 22 and he’s 25 …

So me and guy are talking, been about a week. He asked to be exclusive with talking and I said yes because I don’t usually talk to many people at the same time so he would be the only one I would be t…

My boyfriend just told me he might have to go to Bangkok for work. In the past, he knew that city was a big insecurity/trigger for me, and he always reassured me he wouldn’t go there. Now, since it’s …

I guess I’ll find out. I’m anxiously attached and my boyfriend is an avoidant but he had zero knowledge of attachment styles prior, so he just feels bad rn for knowing a tangible reason for his action…

This is a great question. I was in therapy for 10 years and also went to countless coaches and therapists. There are a handful of things that actually helped me significantly: 1. Creating deep, meani…

Hello. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now and live together. I am beginning to question if it is my attachment completely pushing him away or if I just need to move on. My attachm…

What do you want out of this? That's the starting question. This person said they didn't want a relationship? Do you want a relationship? This person has free access to you whenever they like, how d…

When it comes to friendships, I have felt this way sometimes. I think the best way to manage is to set healthy boundaries with your friends. Know what’s important to you and also how much capacity you…

Text of original post by u/Moonk1ssed: Got heavily triggered over a little promise made by my boyfriend. I asked him in the morning to send me a message once hes back home but he did not, and instead…

Relationships are about compromising and giving each other space to do other things.  I used to tell my boyfriend we're not a science experiment gone wrong attached at the hip I am my own person,you a…

TL;DR: when an avoidant asks for a break, is it real? Ive been dating an avoidant guy for like four months. He had ended a 9 year relationship a year ago and I ended an 8 year relationship recently.…

Checking up on boyfriends is a very hard habit to break I recommend doing that It is always going to be painful You deserve to have your needs met. You deserve to have someone who wants to show…

Any advice on how to calm down anxiety? I 24F have been experiencing a heightened feeling of anxiety the past week or so, especially around my relationship with my 24M boyfriend. It has gotten to th…

I think my boyfriend (33M) and I (30F) might break up and I can’t tell if it’s my fault. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance. My boyfriend and I usually text most of the day, every day…

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for over five years, these last two long distance. We see each other once a month and I asked early on if we could text each other everyday - nothing…

Hi everyone! I 28F am anxious attacher, my boyfriend is 31F the most avoidant person I know. So we know each other for half a year now and made it official 3 months ago. The thing is that he is really…

I found an engagement ring in his office and fucked everything up. I've been with my boyfriend for 2ish years now, he's definitely avoidant but secure leaning. Since the beginning, we have had the sa…

Hi everyone, I’m 24F from Czechia and my boyfriend is 29M from Spain. I have an anxious attachment style and I’m aware of it. I’ve been working on it and I’ve improved significantly, but I know there’…

I'm struggling with what is realistic to ask/expect regarding texting. I spent the entire weekend with my boyfriend, he left for work this morning and we texted throughout the day while he was at work…

Exactly! That was just a guy I was seeing recently for a couple of months. But my boyfriend of 4 years just previously was cheating the whole time (while I stepmothered his 2 children when I was only …

Oh it’s 100% triggering what’s inside of me When I met her, I was at such a low in my life, just full of loneliness and despair and in great need of finding that purpose as someone’s other, I so grea…

i go to therapy. i messaged my therapist yesterday but she hasn’t replied yet. i see her in 3 weeks. i know i can’t rely on my boyfriend to make this better for me and that it’s not his responsibility…

my therapist also knows i have an anxious attachment. we do a workbook together to help mine out. maybe i should look through it all again. i’m probably going to order books to try to get to a secure …

i like painting and drawing, reading, and watching shows with my sister. i also hang out with my sister and dad when they are home. i don’t have any friends to hang out with. honestly my boyfriend is …

my problem is i’m not really sure how to do that as an adult. i had friends in school years ago but now i have no one to talk to and hang out with but my siblings which i do love doing a lot. my one f…

Sorry this is long. I’m 27, I have only been on dates with like 10 guys in my life (I don’t understand why getting a date, let alone a relationship is so incredibly hard, but that’s a different topic)…